CHIEF ILLINI IS NO LONGER THE MASCOT OF THE UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS
HE IS TO BE REPLACED BY THE MORE POLITICALLY CORRECT “SOY BOY”
In what observers are calling a “victory that will bring the buffalo back,” the University of Illinois has dropped Chief Illiniwek as its official mascot and replaced the white-boy-dressed-up-idiotically-like-a-Native-American with the more dignified “Soy Boy.”
The University of Illinois will drop its 81-year-old American Indian mascot, Chief Illiniwek, following the last men’s basketball home game of the season on Wednesday, officials said.The move makes the school eligible to host postseason NCAA championship events.
The NCAA in 2005 deemed Illiniwek—portrayed by buckskin-clad students who dance at home football and basketball games and other athletic events—an offensive use of American Indian imagery and barred the university from hosting postseason events.
American Indian groups and others have complained for years that the mascot, used since 1926, is demeaning. Supporters of the mascot say it honors the contributions of American Indians to Illinois.
Rumors are flying that the next target of the multiculturalists will be changing the name of the state itself. “Illinois” is a white man’s bastardization of the Native American confederation known as “Illini” which included the Cahokia, Kaskaskia, Michigamea, Moingwena, Peoria and Tamaroa Indian tribes. Acceptable alternatives to “Illinois” would be “Soyland,” “Cornhole,” “Flatland,” and “Mostly White.”
As for the team nickname, the Culture Police are accepting for now the rather lame explanation given by the Board:
Illinois still will be able to use the name Illini because it’s short for Illinois and the school can use the term Fighting Illini, because it’s considered a reference to the team’s competitive spirit, school officials said.
The new mascot will be “Soy Boy” in reference to the state’s #1 crop. However, there may be trouble brewing already. Vegetarian groups are said to be up in arms about the insensitive portrayal of the soybean and its use as an irreverent symbol relating to athletic events. Anna Moonbeam, President of People for the Ethical Treatment and Worship of Plants, has threatened a lawsuit against the University unless a ceremony is performed before each appearance of the plant with “appropriate chanting and the burning of dill weed.”
In other news, under pressure from various Irish groups in the United States (and following threats by the IRA), the University of Notre Dame is preparing to drop the “Fighting Leprechaun” as its mascot and replace it with “The Golden Domer.” The news drew immediate fire from People United Against Laughing At Bald Men who objected to the new mascot’s polished noggin…
UPDATE
John Avarosis is under attack for bemoaning the loss of tradition at Illinois.
I give him about 15 more minutes before he does a 180 and apologize for being so politically incorrect.
7:23 pm
At least the trustees finally made a decision. They’ve been kicking this one down the road for years now. I bemoan the loss of tradition, but what’s even worse is the power grab by bodies like the NCAA.
I like the Chief, but I know someone of Indian ancestry who doesn’t. This decision should have been made locally. It’s none of the NCAA’s business what mascots or pageantry it’s member schools employ.
9:37 pm
“The new mascot will be “Soy Boy†in reference to the state’s #1 crop.”
Sounds more like #2 to me!
9:59 am
[...] What Rick fails to point out is how insensitive this is to soy beans. What more proof do you need that soy beans are oppressed and marginalized than that the university would degrade them in this way? This is clearly a hate crime! [...]
1:13 pm
now what are the tribal lawyers going to do?
The news around here is how well the Chief stuff is selling. You are going to see the Chief around for years.
3:55 pm
Didn’t Stanford University do something similar years ago? I think they were the Stanford Indians and now they’re the Stanford Cardinal.
8:23 pm
When someone says that something is offensive to fill-in-the-aggrieved-group, you can most also get a more accurate picture by rewriting the complaint: Something is offensive to liberals who regard themselves as the protectors and spokespeople of fill-in-the-aggrieved-group.
9:25 am
Goodbye Chief Illini – Welcome Soy Boy!
Goodbye Chief Illini – Welcome Soy Boy!
12:37 pm
Watch out for that soy milk boys—I hear its a good way to grow yourself a set of C-cups—perhaps that would be fitting for liberals, whose whole lives are spent sucking on the liberal teat.