Huhray…Huhray…Huhray…Step right up ladies and gents. See the strangest and oddest collection of cluebats on planet earth! “If they’re clueless, we’ve got ‘em” is our motto. Die-rect from Washington city and all points west, north, south, and east! Huhary…Huhray…Huhray…Step right up…

Okay, so I would have failed as a carnival barker. In truth, we don’t need no stinking barker to highlight this week’s souls whose capacity for rational thought was either an afterthought of the almighty or a qualification the Lord never considered adding to their intellectual makeup in the first place.

Our lineup of cluebats is ripped from this week’s headlines…kind of like Law and Order but without Angie Harmon (You can tell the last time I watched that show). I mean we’ve got “Team America Assassin” Pat Robertson, Arlen Specter, Chuck (The Ghost of Viet Nam Past) Hagel, “Mother (******)” Sheehan, as well as the usual lineup of local loonies, national nincompoops, and international idiotarians.

So take off your shoes and set a spell. Sample the grist of the blogosphere mill where cluebats are ground to dust and truth, justice, and good old fashioned American fisking is elevated to an art form.

“Stupidity is better kept a secret than displayed”
(Heraclitus of Ephesus (Greek philosopher remembered for his cosmology)

“Yo Hercules! It’s pretty clear you haven’t visited Crawford, Texas lately.”
(Me)

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Mr. Right of The Right Place channels Monty Python and comes up with an hilarious spoof of Holy Grail repressed peasants. As with all good satire, it has just enough truth in it to make you think and laugh at the same time.

Van Helsing of Moonbattery fires a silver bullet into the heart of Frank Rich’s excreable article this week that defends Cindy Sheehan by smearing her detractors. Frank should go back to reviewing restaurants where he prevented people from getting indigestion instead of causing it as he does now.

Wonder Woman at North American Patriot has a few words for Hollywood bad boy, peace activist, and supporter of tyrants Sean Penn. Sean recently paid a visit to the mad Mullah’s theocratic paradise in Iran and came away saying “The Iranians are like, kewl.” Given Penn’s track record with his treatment of women, it’s no wonder he feels an affinity for gimlet-eyed Revolutionary Guardsmen who are known to beat women in the street if they’re not properly “covered.”

Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality is angry at radio station programmers who have cut their playlists dramatically. Josh even goes after XM Satellite radio stations. Darn! And I was just about to get one.

Mark Coffey at Decision ‘08 has a question for Pat Robertson that sounds a lot like that Dierks Bentley song “What was I Thinking?” Mark should have known that Bentley’s song which is about a late night tryst with a ” little white tank top sitting right there in the middle by me” is not inThe 700 Club’s Top Ten Countdown.

The lovely Pamela (Official Carnival Poster Girl®) of Atlas Shrugs has a few hundred choice words for the left and their defeatism with regards to the Iraq War. She points out you can’t start an anti-war movement with smoke and mirrors. Since the left is blowing plenty of smoke – both literally and figuratively – in Crawford, she has a good point.

Speaking of Camp Casey, Beth sends us a link to the Camp Casey Now website where they are asking “Numbers at Camp Casey: Is this the best we could do?” A point that seems to be lost on the MSM who keep reporting about the “growing encampment” at Moonbatville. You don’t think that the press would like, you know, exaggerate or anything, do you?

Giacomo at Joust the Facts seems confused…or is he? He can’t make up his mind about which is the silliest column he’s ever read; Paul Krugman or Frank Rich? He solves the problem by taking them on together. Giacomo proves himself to be ambi-cluebat.

Fred Frey asks a simple question: “Would Europe Go to War Over Oil?” His answer, like Jeopardy, is in the form of another question: ‘Can Europe go to war?’ I guess that depends. If the bloodthirsty jihadists let the Europeans use insulting rhetoric, virulent anti-Americanism, and abject surrender as weapons, the Europeans will win hands down.

William Teach at Pirates Cove hoists the black flag and goes after Paul Krugman and his mysterious vote count studies from the 2000 election. Bill also gives Mr. Enron Adviser a lesson in party identification.

Cao of Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) is asking Mother Sheehan some tough questions in “Run Cindy, Run.” She also makes some excellent points about the hangers’ on who have surrounded the grieving mother. Great post!

Speaking of great posts, here’s one from Raven at And Rightly So about original Cluebat Hall of Famer Ward Churchill and the trouble he’s in with the University of Colorado Board. Raven says “Faster, please.”

Carnival regular Minh-Duc at State of Flux – always thoughtful and a good read – has an interesting post taking on two Op-Ed writers at the Washington Post (Ayako Doi and Kim Willenson) who wrote a piece decrying the loss of Japanese pacifism. Two more cluebats who went to sleep on 9/10/01 and woke up on September 12.

Ferdinand T. Cat is the most thoughtful cat blogger in the Shadow Media. The fact that he’s the only cat who blogs regularly may have something to do with that. At any rate, how many othe cats can royally fisk a moonbat psychologist who has connected pedophiles and Star Trek watchers? And my little ones heartily endorse Ferdy’s brand of conservatism.

AJ at The Strata-Sphere sends up the Washington Post for their coverage of the mad Mullah’s desire for a nuclear weapon. AJ asks the right question: “When you see a story that almost says Iran’s nuclear power program is not tied to nuclear bombs – you have to wonder where these reporters are coming from?

New World Man gives us the skinny on Ohio Governor and scion of a famous Republican family Robert Taft and his problems with sticky fingers. Is pleading “no contest” the same as pleading guilty? Uh… Yep.

How about a little satire with your breakfast cereal this morning? The Nose on your Face has a riotously funny take on the Air America finanical imbroglio with special attention to AA Chairman Evan Cohen’s efforts to “raise his father from the dead.”

And what would Carnival satire be without Mr. Satire himself! (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) He reports today on a homosexual marraige in the middle east between two Kuwaiti men. Where did it take place? “...in Hilton Ramses Hotel in Cairo, located at the rear of the Gay Liberation Square.” Read it all.

No Woodstock in the Czech Republic as a music festival billed as Czechtek ran into a little trouble. According to Taylor Buley of Fresh Politics when the youngsters were denied access to the festival, they made like it was 1989 and protested – which was promptly rudely interrupted by some clueless Czech police. Excellent coverage of an underreported event. (Nice blog too. Check ‘em out)

Will Franklin shows the anti-war crowd, in terms that they can understand (polls, of course) why they’re barking up the wrong tree when it comes to making Mother Sheehan an icon for the anti-war movement. Franklin: “Her 15 minutes needed to be up 16 minutes ago.” That just about covers it.

For a completely different take on the Cindy Sheehan issue, the bravest liberal in the blogosphere Northstar (our only left-wing regular) from the People’s Republic of Seabrook pulls no punches whatsoever in this post skewering Vice President Cheney entitled “Hail to the Chickenhawk in Chief.” Be nice, now. Be nice. We’ll not be supressing any opinions here today.

The next two posts take back all the nice things these bloggers said about Senator Bill Frist after he came out in favor of funding embryonic stem cell research. First, Orac of Respectfully Submitted takes a “vacations interruptus” to club the Presidential wannabe over the head for his remarks on intelligent design.

Ditto for Doug at Below the Beltway whose rant against Senator Frist includes the good Doctor’s motivation for his position: “Frist needs to establish his bona fides with the evangelical Republicans who dominate the Republican primary process in many states important to getting the 2008 nomination.” I would say that’s spot on.

Don Surber has an extraordinary post highlighting some cluelessness you have to read to believe about a baby killer and the $50,000 he won in a court of law. This is in addition to the $25,000 the state paid to fix the killer’s teeth.

Urban Grounds has another story almost too ridiculous to be true. This one is about a killer who was arrested while in the funeral procession for the person he killed! Was the family of the victim grateful? Absolutely not! Read it all and try to keep your jaw from dropping to the floor.

More unbelievable cluelessness brought to you by Pstupidonymous. This one is about a man who was hit by a Taser gun for stealing a salad at Chuckee Cheese. Who’s more clueless? The police for using excessive force or someone stupid enough to even eat salad from Chuckee Cheese in the first place? We report, you decide.

Like explaining things to a two year old child, Mean Ole Meany patiently (I know, completely out of character for Two Dogs) explains how Mother Sheehan’s grief doesn’t give her any more “perspective” than anyone else. If only the splodeydopes would listen.

More on the Chuck Hagel nonsense from Jimmie K at But That’s JustMy Opinion. Jimmie links to an article that says a lot about Hagel’s idea of party loyalty during wartime.

The Maryhunter at TMH Bacon Bits has one of the strangest science stories of the year involving some clueless ecologists who want to re-introduce “predators” back into the North American eco-system. Saw a cartoon referencing the story with Bill Clinton standing in a wilderness and saying “I smell intern.”

The Headgirl at The Common Room brings us a strange bit of cluelessness on the part of some motivational speakers who may as well have been twins seperated at birth. Another gentle, humorous takedown from our education-friendly friends.

Speaking of education friendly, how about our buds at Elephants in Academia giving a thorough and well deserved spanking to Senator Arlen Specter for his remarks on the “window of opportunity” we have in making a deal with Venezualean’s strutting peacock of a dictator Hugo Chavez. Yeah, right.

Matt from Going to the Mat has an interesting story about some clueless local school officials who seem to have erred in building an elementary school – at least as far as its location. Says Matt: “A crosswalk without a stoplight on a busy, four-lane highway is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.” Needless to say, the parents are up in arms.

From the “When will they ever learn Department” the ACLU has equated religion with terror. Jay of Stop the ACLU has a link to this statement by a local ACLU moonbat: ““They believe that they answer to a higher power, in my opinion. Which is the kind of thinking that you had with the people who flew the airplanes into the buildings in this country, and the people who did the kind of things in London.” Un.Be.Lievable.

Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy gives us the outrage of the week. The city of San Francisco and their refusal to play host to the World War II era battleship the USS Iowa because of (wait for it) The Iraq War! Damn their moonbat souls to hell.

Speaking of hell, here’s my take on Pat Robertson’s bid to make it into the cluebat Hall of Fame.

NOTE: Next week’s Carnival will return to its regular slot on Tuesday