Marvin is in the House!

WHY EVERYTHING GOOD THAT HAPPENS IN THE WORLD IS AN ACCIDENT AND EVERYTHING BAD THAT HAPPENS IS GEORGE BUSH’S FAULT (By Marvin Moonbat)

Watching what’s going on in the middle east is kind of puzzling. Here you have all these people in the streets demonstrating for…what? I mean, it’s not like things are going to change. After all, it’s the middle east fer crissakes. Listening to the wingnuts in this country you’d think some kind of revolution was under way or something.

So what happens if these people get to vote? Big deal! We get to vote all the time in this country and nothing changes; the repugnuts keep winning. Haliburton is still in business. And nobody’s been arrested for rigging the Ohio election last November. Show me the Chairman of Deibold Corporation in shackles and handcuffs doing the perp walk and then I’ll believe that things are gonna change.

All this brings me to the urban myth being spread by the republifascists that George Bush is responsible for all these supposedly good things happening in Lebanon, Egypt, Iraq, Afghanistan, and other places where these goofy Arabs are smiling and crying and raising a ruckus about “freedom.” This is ridiculous. George Bush is just lucky. The fact that there are 150,000 American troops in the middle east right now helping Iraq start some sort of “democracy” and the Bushitler made some grandiose statements about “freedom” and “liberty” at his innaugural has nothing to do with what’s going on over there. It’s pure coincidence.

Same thing happened to that doddering old wingnut Reagan. First he calls the commies an “evil empire.” Then he tells Gorby to “tear down this wall” and the next thing you know the freepers are saying the senile old coot had something to do with ending the cold war. This is nuts. First of all, there was no reason to tear down the Berlin wall. It was a perfectly good wall, less than 30 years old. It could have stood another 50 years or so. And it would have except those crazy Germans got it into their heads that they could throw off the fraternal bonds of friendship with the Soviets just so they could buy blue jeans and eat some decent food.

I mean, it’s not like they were starving to death. They had it pretty good as far as I can see. Free health care, cheap food and housing, and plenty of uplifting socialist rhetoric to feed the soul. And what did they trade that in for? A little comfort? A little more Freedom? MTV?

Well, I might have a started a revolution for MTV…but the rest?

And now we’‘re hearing the same thing about this freedom stuff in the middle east happening because Bushitler is lucky enough to be sitting on his butt in the White House smirking away while people are in the streets demonstrating for freedom. When are you wingnuts going to get it into your heads that our Chimp in Chief doesn’t have a clue? Everything bad that happens in the world is going on right now because of shrub’s policies. Look at all those people we’re killing in Iraq? Yeah, a lot of them are terrorists but who set America up as the judge, jury, and executioner? We should arrest those people and give them a fair trial. Better that than killing them for God’s sake!

Well, gotta go. Chloe wants to study for our “American Imperialsm and Capitalism Exploitation” mid-term. Since I haven’t cracked open the text book yet, I better get started.

Marvin Moonbat appears every Friday courtesy of “Moveonalready.org”

Cross-Posted at Blogger News Network