Ann Coulter before her date with Superhawk
Conservative columnist Ann Coulter, known for her sharp tongue and acerbic wit, was arrested today and charged with misdemeanor assault when she allegedly used a bar of soap to wash out the mouth of one of her questioners.
“My mother used to do it when we were kids and used a nasty word and I just figured if it was good enough for my brothers and I it was good enough for a liberal potty mouth.” the gorgeous blond rightwinger said.
The “victim,” Dick Less, was accosted by Coulter immediately after asking a question laced with obscenities at her lecture in Arlington Heights. Reportedly, Coulter approached Mr. Dick Less and, after getting him in what’s known as a “Boston Crab Grapevine Leg Lock,” she allegedly grabbed his hair with one hand and with the other, withdrew a bar of Dial “Tropical Escape” soap and proceeded to thoroughly cleanse the oral orifice of Mr. Dick Less.
After the initial assault, Coulter turned and, according to witnesses, gave Mr. Dick Less a spinning heel kick followed quickly by a cross face chicken wing.
“I don’t know what the moonbat is complaining about.” Coulter said of Dick Less. “After all, I used the tastiest bar of soap I could find. ‘Tropical Escape’ has a nice, fresh, pineapple smell and I hear kids love it.” she added.
Coulter immediately went back to the podium and resumed her lecture to a standing ovation from the crowd.
There were no further disruptions.
Police were uncertain whether to charge Coulter or give her a medal. In the end, they settled on the misdemeanor charge in exchange for autographed copies of Coulter’s book “How to Talk to a Liberal.”
UPDATE
Since the only readers of this post I’ve gotten so far have been of the moonbattis undelici variety, how can I go wrong if I link to My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy for a little balance?
Cross Posted at Blogger News Network
12:10 pm
Way to go Ann!
I still remember the taste of soap in my mouth from when my Mother washed it out after I said “Hell.”
I think this guy deserved what he got. Regardless of politics, it is only common courtesy to not interrupt someone giving a speech.
12:19 pm
I’m gonna have to start putting “Satire” up in great big letters so that people know this isn’t serious.
1:32 pm
What does satire mean? JK
1:51 pm
ROFL! That’s a good one!
3:42 pm
LOL! Now, if only we could do that to every moonbat. Of course, they like being unhappy. Seething. So maybe they would like that.
4:22 pm
05.05.05
Today’s dose of NIF - News, Interesting & Funny … It’s Stop the ACLU Thursday!
... and Trackback party at Beth’s (and, why not, my place too!)
4:39 pm
I was actually almost fooled for a minute and figured she finally snapped after the recent string of crazy incidents at her speeches.
12:16 am
Oh, if it were only true that she had done that! LMAO!
Sooner or later, one of these idiotic thugs is going to attack the WRONG PERSON and get a good thrashing. I HOPE. It makes me wonder if they’d have the nerve to take on Zell Miller or some other old-school ass kicker!
8:54 am
Very, very funny! Now, if all the Republican students simply carried a nice big bar of Ivory (99.9% pure, ya know) to all the Conservative speaking engagements and pulled that sucker out when ever a foul-mouthed interrupter started to spew….
6:57 am
Bonfire of the Vanities, week #97
Welcome to week #97 of the Bonfire, the Sith Edition. Many Dark Jedi have submitted their works of evil, attempting to become the next Lord of the Sith, along with their lame evil and twisted excuses.
11:02 pm
#85 Best of Me Symphony
Why would anyone attack a punching bag
11:37 am
ultram
tomatoes.Macassar.migrant.Doc?Dorset viagra http://www.pills-sale.com/ gnaws propecia http://propecia.just-pills.com/
7:53 pm
[...] Rick Moran from Rightwing Nut House tries to expand his Sith powers to sarcasm, yet only attracted some denizens of the Moonbattery system. And soap. “Go to Ludicrous speed now!” (Sorry, Rick, couldn’t resist) [...]
3:55 pm
hey Ann, can I be next? I get to pick out the soap though, maybe a whole brand new bar of Camay Classic, shoved deep in the mouth twisting and turning and grinding it into the molars and then taking a huge bite out of it, chewing a couple of times and then pinching my nose, clamping my mouth shut until I have to swallow it?
4:02 pm
online elavil
corkscrew presumptuousness Westmore
2:11 am
I found this while just tyoing in my first name was arrested for and I got to say how can teaching someone to watch their mouth around ladies be considered assult he should have been taught a lesson about respect not everyone accepts profanity as part of everyday vocabulary I was always taught anyone can use profanity but it takes a smarter person to find a different word to get the point across. So WAY TO GO ANN!
4:56 pm
[...] Now if someone would only please arrest Ann Coulter. Her hate-filled, bigoted, sexist, and lewd speech, if not illegal, is certainly more offensive than El Rushbo getting clipped with a bogus bottle of Poke. Posted by mrtoast @ 10:15 pm :: Uncategorized Comment RSS :: Trackback URI [...]
2:21 am
Ooo, you said Dick, you made baby Jesus cry.