Marvin Moonbat is in the House!

IT’S NOT GOOD TO BE DEPRESSED (By Marvin Moonbat)

Chloe and I both stayed home from school today. For my part, I’m not missing much. The professor in my “A Post Imperial World: The Rise of Indigenous Peoples and “Rainforest Power” class has become insufferably long winded. He used to be pretty cool. The class (there are three of us) used to start out by discussing the oppression of indigenous peoples all over the world. After a while, we’d link the grievances of say American Indians with episodes of our favorite TV shows. It was great!. Drawing parallels between the “Trail of Tears and MTV’s “Pimp My Ride” was always a challenge.

Then someone ratted the prof out to the Anti-Imperialst studies Dean and that was that. Now, instead of talking about the latest life-changing automobile metamorphisis, we’re stuck listening to this wind bag drone on forever about how indigineous people live, what they believe, and all that stuff that no-one really wants to hear about…except Chloe. Chloe is dead serious about this crap and I’ve learned its better to humor her about this than risk not being able to play “hide the salami” with her for a week or so.

Anyway, we woke up this morning and as we were drinking our recycled coffee, we came across this item that really bummed us both:

What Didn’t Happen In Ohio
Russ Baker

Back in January, I wrote a piece for TomPaine.com questioning widely circulated claims that the election in Ohio had been stolen. I had done some poking around, anticipating that at least some of the frightening anecdotes filling our mail boxes and raging on talk radio would be borne out. In spot checks on a few popular fraud anecdotes, I found credible alternative explanations such as incompetence, structural problems, politicization of decision-making and other failings— but no evidence of deliberate fraud designed to hand the election to Bush.

It was like losing all over again.

To have one of our own actually go out and prove the Bushitler didn’t steal the Ohio election is like a betrayal of everything we stand for.

The dummy should have let well enough alone. After all, it’s one thing to say there are things that have to be looked into as far as election irregularities in Ohio. It’s quite another to actually prove that there’s no conspiracy.

What’s Keith Olberman going to do now? What are they going to talk about on “Air America?” Will Daily Kos and The Democratic Underground now shut down because there’s nothing left to investigate?

And if that’s not bad enough, we had our friends in Britain betray us by re-electing that American lap dog Tony Blair. I mean, I just can’t understand it. We’ve now had three elections in the English speaking world and all three – John Howard in Australia, Tony Blair in England, and our very own smirking chimp – reelected even though the Iraq war has proven to be a disaster. Don’t people realize that some really smart people have said the Iraq war is wrong? I mean, I know most of what these smart people have said would happen in Iraq hasn’t happened, what with the successful elections and forming a government and all. And it’s not their fault that they didn’t see that with the successful elections in Iraq democracy would break out all over the middle east. I mean, who could have predicted that? No one did, as far as I know.

So Chloe and I got hit by a double whammy of bad news this morning and we both decided to protest by not going to class. For a while, I kind of thought that we could use the time off to get “reacquainted” with each other so to that end, I got out the really good ganja
and started to roll a really fat one but Chloe stopped me dead in my tracks. What kind of protest is it if we get high and lollygag about in bed all day, she asked.

So instead, Chloe brewed up some herbal tea and initiated her favorite tantric meditation rite involving aromatherapy and some really nasty body oils. She said only by getting in touch with our “inner child” can we appreciate that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and only through prayer and meditation can we rebalance the forces that are so out of whack that Gaia has punished us with global warming, forest fires, and earthquakes. Not to mention angering Pele-`ai-honua , the volcano god.

And you wonder why I’m so depressed today?