The title of this post is in reference to one of the most thrilling political potboilers ever written. “Come Nineveh, Come Tyre” was written by Alan Drury and it was the last in a series of political novels by Drury that started with the Pulitzer Prize winner and hit movie “Advise and Consent.”

In the book, a Clinton like President faces mounting challenges and incursions from the old Soviet Union. Each time he backs down, he’s cheered on by liberals and the MSM. Finally, realizing he’s destroyed Americas position in the world (and after a clumsy effort to remove him by the Joint Chiefs) the Russians come calling. The President committs suicide and the reins are handed over to his Vice President, a Soviet agent.

The real reason for the references to these cities is in a biblical context. Nineveh was the city that God told Jonah to save from their wicked ways or he would destroy it. Eventually, after Jonah’s little adventure with the whale, he did indeed reform the people and save the city.

Tyre wasn’t so lucky. The prophet Ezekial predicted that Tyre would be destroyed for its wickedness and sure enough, it was.

One city saved…One city destroyed. What will it be for America in these final two hours? Here follows my predictions as well as some excellent, funny, wild, and weird speculation from the readers.

MARWAN

Marwan will be killed. Some commenters, notably Sue, would like to see Marwan resurrected next season. This would be a possibility and not without precedent. Nina survived till season 2. However, the pure evil that Marwan represents necessitates his destruction if only to make a satisfying ending.

So who kills Marwan? The Maryhunter and Beth agree it could be Behruz, a very intruiging possibility. My speculation about Behruz was that the terrorists would reprogramme him and release him with a bomb belt to blow up CTU. That still may be a possibility (nice way to knock off Michelle, eh?) but the boy may be just as angry at Marwan for killing his mother.

THE MOLE

I don’t know. I can’t even hazard a guess at this point. I will say that whoever it is, we’re going to be surprised. On the wild guess side, there’s Diamond who thinks Palmer may be the traitor. The writers have done things more outrageous so I wouldn’t put it past them.

Beth jumps the shark by guessing President Jellyfish. The Maryhunter is going with Secretary Heller (he obviously missed the last show!) James Wright thinks it’s Audrey; still a possibility but both Hellers were taken out of play I thought in the last episode.

Beth also jumps back over the shark by guessing it’s someone already dead, maybe Paul. The problem there is that the mole tipped off Marwan’s men when CTU stormed the warehous and originally captured him. If the men had been there before CTU got there why didn’t they open fire then? Clearly, someone in CTU - someone close – organized Marwan’s rescue.

More speculation centers on someone we know but haven’t seen yet. Diamond thinks Wayne Palmer, President Palmer’s amoral brother. Not bad but maybe not in the loop enough to help Marwan very much.

In the past, I’ve guessed both Audrey and her father and wildly speculated on both Tony and Michelle. Here’s one out of the blue.

How about Bill Buchanan from division?

I say Buchanan only because he’s in a position to carry out everything the mole has done.

Then, as Brendan suggests (and others) there’s the possibility there is no mole in which case the show has failed miserably and will sputter to an inconclusive and unsatisfactory conclusion.

WHO’S GOING TO DIE?

Universal agreement that either Tony or Michelle will get whacked. Michelle is expendable but one wonders how they will be able to kill her off with her safe and sound at HQ. This is why I think…I think there’s a possibility the nuke may be deflected from it’s original target – but land close enough to cause massive damage.

Target: Los Angeles.

It all fits (plus an emailer that will remain anonymous says that the radar screen in the teaser for this week shows that it is indeed LA).

If indeed LA is the target all bets are off as to who lives and who dies. Since Fox has already announced that season 5 of the show will premier in January of 2006, they can’t kill off too many of the stars.

My own guess is that Tony will get whacked. And despite the convoluted reasoning of Hector (A “triple reverse strategery” used by the writers in which they know that we know that they know that we know…) I think Tony gets it at the hands of Jack who then completes his descent into Dante’s 9th Circle of Hell.

AUDREY AND JACK

Again, universal agreement that Audrey gives Jack his permanent marching orders. I’m not so sure. The writers may leave an opening for Jack and Audrey to do it again next year as the chemistry between them was better than it was between Jack and any other woman in the show’s history.

Unless Audrey is the mole in which case Jack pops her and, after killing Paul, Tony, and now Audrey, sees that life isn’t worth living and tries to off himself. Unsuccessfully of course.

THE CHINESE

I like Brendan’s take on this:

The Chinese will capture the CTU agent that they photographed and torture a confession out of him. They’ll demand that Jack be handed over for trial in China.

This would make an intruiging opening for next season, yes?

THE IOWA CELL

No brainer. They’re either caught or the writers forget about them. Which brings up an interesting scenario.

There are so many Americans working for Marwan. Remember the highway crew that helped the one terrorist switch cars in the tunnel? Then there are all the terrorists who fired on CTU to help Marwan escape. The list goes on and on.

Even if they catch Marwan, there are a hell of a lot of people out there – enough for 10 more seasons – that want to kill us all.

Kind of frightening when you think about it…

CHLOE AND FAT GEEK EDGAR

This elicited the funniest comments.

James Wright: “For the sake of all that is good and decent, Chloe and Edgar will never get it on.”
Bert: Chloe is SOOOO hot!
Diamond: Bert: It seems that your above statement has brought this posting place to a screeching halt. Maybe you should re state your affection for Chloe.
Hector: Chloe and Edgar will get it on. I said it before and I will say it again, these computer geek guys like abuse. > but, image Chloe in black leather with a cat of nine tails whipping naked fat geek Edgar bend over a double processor computer. (This is a family website…please. Ed.)
The Maryhunter: prep for future nasty geek love sammich.

Chloe and fat geek Edgar will in fact become an item and have an ongoing relationship played out next year.

THE FINAL TWO HOURS

Jack kills Tony but takes swinger woman (who I’m informed and now remember was “Mandy” in the first season, the one with the greedy lesbian lover) back to CTU and grills her. She reveals a location for Marwan and he’s recaptured. Taken back to CTU, Marwan reveals (under hideous torture and Dr. Feelgood’s ministrations) a frequency that the missile can be accessed on.

It’s too late to blow it up but fat geek Edgar and Chloe are able to deflect it where it explodes out in the ocean. LA is sideswiped by the blast which destroys CTU headquarters just after Jack discovers who the mole is. The mole escapes in the confusion.

The rest of the show is the chase for the mole (fill in your favorite candidate here). Palmer is left to try and defuse the Chinese situation. Jellyfish collapses in a quivering heap of manflesh following the blast. Novik betrays Palmer again by telling Speaker Ashton about the incapacitation of Jellyfish. Ashton takes over, declares martial law (which is what the mole wanted) and tells the Chinese he’ll hand them Jack’s head if they don’t attack.

Jack catches up to the mole and kills him/her. We’re left wondering if there is someone else in the government – someone who profits by a declaration of martial law – that the mole reported to.

This scenario leaves a lot of openings for the writers next year which is how they’ve ended the previous seasons. Expect some threads to wither away but others to be carried over till next January.

Tomorrow, I’ll post in two parts. First part should be up by 7:00 AM Central time.

So hold on to your hats…this is going to get bumpy!