I played with the idea of subtitling this installment of the Carnival the “Dick Durbin Pol Pot Memorial Edition” but frankly, that’s entirely too limiting. After all, why place a boundary on our horizons? As intrepid explorers of the intellectual wasteland of the clueless, we must be prepared to scale altitudeness heights of stupidity, cross expansive rivers of ignorance, and traverse the seared and forsaken landscape of witlessness to find the Nirvanic bliss of true cluelessness.

Or, we could read the on-line edition of the Nation.

Thankfully, none of our fearless adventurers had to Narfle the Garthok to find enough cluelessness to satisfy our wanderlust and fill this week’s quota of jaw dropping, head shaking, side splitting cluebats.

“Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?”
Robert Browning
“Hah! Browning never saw me reaching for the last piece of Sue’s Dutch apple pie.”
Me

Daisy Cutter has a warning for Democrats who think that “Blogs for McCain’s Opponent” will assist them in their nefarious plans to actually win an election. Judging by the activities of Howard Dean, John Conyers, Dick Durbin, Nancy Pelosi, et. al. I don’t think we have anything to worry about on that score.

Northstar at the People’s Republic of Seabrook, and once again our lone (lonely?) left of center blogger highlights the cluelessness of the President’s brother and his quixotic quest to keep the Terri Schiavo case alive. Those who are pushing Jeb Bush for President in ‘08 should note what is written on this post and ask yourself a question: What utility is served by raising issues that have already been decided in the courts and that 95% of the country have moved on from?

Giacomo at Joust the Facts questions the sanity of ABC News. While it may seem that this is too easy a target, the jaw dropping stupidity highlighted proves that one should never underestimate the media when it comes to them making total asses of themselves.

Minh-Duc at State of Flux takes on The Cunning Realist and his ill-conceived comparison of Iraq to Vietnam. When will they ever learn?

Blogbuddy The Maryhunter at TMH Bacon Bits has a story that defines cluelessness so well it should be placed in the Cluebat Hall of Fame. It’s about two employees of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) being arrested for…what else? Cruelty to animals. I wish I could have made up a story like this but unfortunately, this sublimely doltish reality has outpaced any fantasy I could possibly come up with.

Our first Dick Durbin entry comes to us courtesy of moonbat slayer Van Helsing of Moonbattery. Van has a picture display for my home state Senator on torture – assuming anyone that has made the statements Durbin has must have some difficulty with the printed word. (Caution: Disturbing images)

Mark at Decision ‘08 had…well, a decision to make this week. He figured that everyone would be submitting posts on Durbin so instead, he picked an equally worthy jackass, Howard Zinn. Mr. Zinn is perhaps best known for his deterministic, revisionist People’s History of the United States in which he makes the people of the United States unrecognizable. This time. Comrade Zinn takes on American exceptionalism with equally obscure results.

Bill Teach at Pirates Cove proves that cluelessness is an equal opportunity disease striking both liberals and conservatives (although recent studies have shown that the former far outnumber the latter in both frequency and severity). Anyway, Representative Walter Jones calling for a “timetable” to withdraw from Iraq had the terrorists in Baghdad clapping their hands in anticipation of America cutting and running.

Duncan Avatar of Parrot Check asks if former Bush Administration economist turned 9/11 conspiracy nut Morgan Reynolds is really from his Alma Mater? “Fraid so, Duncan. It could be worse. Just think if you actually had to take a class from this screwball.

Satire Blog has a post entitled “Larry King - a Serial Husband, a Monogamous Polygamist and the Joys of Multiple Fatherhood ” with a picture of Larry from 1970! Actually, it’s a mugshot and I’m sure that Larry won’t mind. After all, everyone’s forgotten about all those checks you bounced so many years ago…

More Durbin Droppings from GM Roper who wonders if Dandy Dick knows that he’s energized Americans who “know bullcrap when they see it.” If he didn’t before, he sure as hell knows now.

All Durbin all the time here at the Carnival with American Warmonger taking Durbin apart piece by piece. Hey guy! Leave some for the rest of us, huh? You picked over the Senator’s carcass so thoroughly that the pitiful mouthfuls you left us wouldn’t feed a sated moonbat!

Had enough, Dicky? Hah! Cao of Cao’s Blog, blogmama extraordinaire, turns her poison pen on Durbin and makes a mish mash of the Senators ill conceived diatribe against the military. Don’t mess with mothers who have loved ones fighting in Iraq, Senator!

More PETA poop from AJ over at Strata-Sphere. It’s got to be a shocker for people who drop their unwanted but still loved pets off at PETA and be told a home will be found for them only to discover later that they’ve been euthanized in the back of a van and dumped in a shopping center garbage dumpster. Gives a whole new meaning to the term “ethical.”

Gorgeous Pamela of Atlas Shrugs has the inspiring story of Iranian women standing up to the most clueless males on the planet; the Mullahs and holy men who are currently running Iran.

Dave of Short Final, Cleared to Land has a host of targets for his ” Jackson Reaction” action figure doll. Hard to pick one but my choice would be Elizabeth Taylor.

Orac at Respectful Insolence fisks Charlie Rangel’s less noticed but equally outrageous assertion to Durbin’s idiocy that the war in Iraq can be equated with the holocaust. I predict Charlie will be a regular Carnival entrant as not only is he a partisan hack of the first order, he also can’t count.

My own entry in the Dick Durbin sweepstakes takes us back to a time when there were fistfights on the floor of the House and the people’s representatives came armed with pistols to the House chamber. Do you think Durbin would have been so quick to diss the military like that if he knew 2 or 3 of his colleagues were packing heat? Doubt it.