We have a record!

This week’s Carnival features 32 posts that skewer the most outrageously clueless numbskulls of the week. And let me tell ya, there’s a passel of them:

1. Our very own President George Bush and his ideas on Intelligent Design.
2. The Democratic Party and their joy at losing the special election in Ohio’s 2nd Congressional District.
3. Cluebat Hall of Famer John Kerry
4. The ACLU
5. The left
6. The right
7. What? No libertarians? (We can fix that!)

And on and on.

If variety is the spice of life, have a tall glass of water handy because you’re gonna need a drink to cool your tongue after tasting this superb collection of fiskings of the follies of the foolish. Some will make you laugh. Some will make you think. All will entertain and enlighten.

So kick back and relax and browse to your heart’s content. You won’t be disappointed.

To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.
(Gustave Flaubert )

Yo,Gus! How’d you get Hillary Clinton’s talking points on National Health Care?
(Me)

Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy put on her liberal disguise and ventured into the fever swamps of the Democratic Underground and the dungeons at Daily Kos and came up with some of the weirdest conspiracy theories regarding John Bolton, George Bush, and…well, you just can’t make this stuff up – unless you’re a moonbat. It took Beth not one but two posts to tell the whole story.

Jay at Stop the ACLU wants to stop the ACLU from taking away our Second Amendment rights. Some good points made on the ACLU’s selective interpretation of Constitutional rights that, if you’ve been paying attention the last few years, has become more and more a part of their political agenda.

Pstupidonymous (yes…that’s how it’s spelled. Don’t ya love creative names for blogs?) has an amazing tale of the Nanny State gone wild. As AlexC says: “These are the kind of nanny-state nonsensical ideas that we laugh at over-taxed and under-gunned New Jersey over.” Uh-huh.

Mark Coffey at Decision ‘08 has an explanation why British terror apologist George Galloway has made his “Jackass of the Week:” Some jackasses are more intrinsicially jackassical than others. Hard to argue with that.

Mr. Right is again spot on in a spoof of the Democrats and their laughable joy at finishing second in the Ohio Special Election last week. Says Karl Rove of Kos’ perfect 0 for 16 record in supporting Democratic campaigns: “I think the idea of someone with Markos Moulitsas Zúniga’s track record running as many Democrat political campaigns as humanly possible is absolutely marvelous!” Rove said. “When can he get started?”

Charleston Daily Mail columnist Don Surber submits a post from his “Ooops” department. The West Virginia state government gives us a sterling example of the people’s tax dollars at work…or not.

Elephants in Academia (more bloggy creativity!) talks about the “happy convergence” pointed out by the LA Times in the Administration’s Central Asian strategy. What the Times chalks up to mere chance, the Academic Elephant sees as the Bush Doctrine at work. Let’s see…Lebanon, Ukraine, Afghanistan, Iraq, Egypt, Kuwait, Bahrain,...sounds like coincidence to me but what do I know? I’m a Republican.

Someone please wake Harvey at Bad Example up from a bad dream. He’s dreaming that the United Nations is talking about controlling the internet. This from an organization that can’t take a collective piss without sending the idea to a Blue Ribbon Commission? What do you think download times of your favorite movies would be if the UN ran the net?

Beatrix at Multiple Mentality gives all you unattached men some excellent advice on How not to Pick Up a Girl in a Bar. ” For instance: “Are those real?” is not a good opening line” I dunno…it worked for me once. Maybe she thought I was talking about the snakes around her neck…

The Carnival goes international this week with this post from Angry in the Great White North who turns his gaze southward to discover some judicial idiocy right here in the good ole USA. How do some of these people get to be judges?

Bergbikr, subbing for The Maryhunter at TMH Bacon Bits illustrates the equivication of so-called “Moderate” Muslims and their attitudes toward the War on Terror. Is he overreacting? “Perhaps my reaction was heightened by the fact that a cell of ‘peaceful Muslims’ – some of their youths recently Jihadist trained in Pakistan – was just exposed in Lodi, CA a few dozen miles east of my home.” I think not.

Cao of Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) gives us an excellent history lesson on some of the less than honorable activities of some prominent leftists over the years. Every time I think how close John Kerry came to being elected President of the United States, I shudder.

Raven at And Rightly So wonders what happened to all those Democrats who were going to leave the country and move to Canada following the President’s victory last November. Darnit! All those “Bon Voyage” signs I made and I did it for nothin’.

Ogre at Ogre’s Politics and Views has a post highlighting some cluelessness of his local utility Duke Power and their “Fixed Payment Plan.” Maybe they think their customers are too stupid to add.

Hypnyx at Global Democratic Revolution brings to our attention a story that’s starting to get some legs in the sports media. A San Francisco radio host made some disparging comments about Latin American baseball players that have some prominent Latin personalities up in arms and playing the “victim” card. San Francisco Giants manager Felipe Alou goes off the deep end regarding the comments and refuses an apology from the radio host. Uncalled for cluelessness perhaps on both their parts.

Blog Pin-Up grrrllll Pamela (Ooooh! Check out them gams!) of Atlas Shrugs has an intelligent post on environ-mentalism (deliberate hyphenation) as religion. What are the consequences of listening to these nutcases? “It would be one thing if it were like Scientology and created small brushfires between vapid celebritites, it is quite another when we are clubbed to death with it like baby seals. Yep.

More galling stuff from George Galloway brought to us by Van Helsing of Moonbattery. Mr. Helsing asks the $64,000 question: “Where do we draw the line between the pernicious and irresponsible ravings typical of liberal politicians on both sides of the Atlantic and punishable treason?” My answer would be…it depends who draws the line, n’est pas?

My favorite fallen angel Feisty Republican Whore stops her street walking long enough to show us what life would be like with National Health Insurance – Canadian style. Un. Be. Lievable. Says the Whore: “I thought I’d kicked the Quaalude habit, but s**t like this is keeping the tranquilizer distributors in business.” Um…’kay.

From the “Believe It Or Not” file…Left Noose brings us a story of a 12 year old, local police, and gunshots. Oh yeah…and a mother that makes Joan Crawford look like Mother Teresa.

Elisa at Boxer Watch (No…not a voyeur site) has an interview with the Silly Senator from La-La Land facing off against the Senator from Virginia and potential President George Allen. If you compare and contrast the two, guess which one comes off as a grown-up, reasonable human being and who appears to be an infantile, clueless klutz?

Northstar at the People’s Republic of Seabrook takes President Bush to the woodshed for his excusing baseball player Rafeal Palmeiro his use of steroids. The President is speaking out of both sides of his mouth on this one as northstar rightly points out.

Blue State Republican of Mike Huckabee for President Blog gives us a link to a Paul Begala article at Huffington’s Post the contains possibly the stupidest prediction I’ve seen this summer. Bush Pardons Rove? BSR says: “Bush will pardon Rove when Rove did nothing wrong and will not be indicted, much less convicted of any crime??? Idiot.” That just about covers it.

Mr. Satire is back! Even though his blog is NOT SAFE FOR WORK, it would be worth getting fired to read his hilarious take on the Special Election in Ohio last week. What kind of a man was this fellow Hackett? “I am also an avid hunter and, unlike that sissy Kerry, I don’t shoot dead ducks. I go for the real thing – the RINOS and the yellow-belly elephants,” said Hackett, a gun-slinging NRA member. ”

Ferdy the Cat is on the prowl and has cornered Alan Dershowitz who thinks he has the solution to terrorism. After being reminded by Bruce to swallow the cheeseball in his mouth before talking, Ferdy says: “A satirical piece in the Huffington Post is hardly going to make religious fanatics wake up.” Who says cats are not the smartest animals on earth?

Dan Melson at Searchlight Parade has some off the wall reaction by Democrats to the recess appointment of John Bolton. Opines Dan: “After all the failures of the accomodationists to make the UN into a better organization, it’s time to give someone with a different philosophy a chance. It’s not like they can do much worse. Past time, I’d say.

Orac at Respectful Insolence has a very funny, must read post on the the use and misuse of that feller’s name who ran Germany a while back. He introduces us to the Hitler Zombie: “The creature doesn’t discriminate between left and right! Political activists of every stripe are dropping like flies, their brains eaten, and then making fools of themselves,” Truly spoken.

Mean ole Meany has a response to a request for funds from Hall of Fame cluebat John Kerry. Writing to the Splodeydope, MoM says: “The only thing missing from this e-mail is the mind-controlling subliminal sounds that you would have to play to get thinking people to believe one thing that you have said here.” Heh.

Minh-Duc of State of Flux Blog has a very serious, very sobering look at torture and who’s responsible. Is the military responsible for systematic, institutionalized torture committed against prisonoers? Read Mr. Minh’s entire post.

Jimmy K of But that’s Just My Opinion Blog has a short and to the point article about Israel’s handover of Gaza to the thugs of Hamas. I’m forced to reluctantly agree with Jimmy that this is a very bad move on Israel’s part probably done at the urging of Washington.

AJ at The Strata Sphere is looking in askance at the press and wondering where their heads are at. One would think copies of Who’s Who can be found on the desks of most reporters. Do you suppose it’s because they’re lazy? Naw!

Bill Teach of Pirates Cove has the story of a truly clueless candidate for Mayor of Durham, North Carolina. One more caveat to her candidacy; she’s a racist: Wagstaff is also a major race baiter, and, to put it correctly, a racist…If the roles were reversed, the local media would have coniption fits. Yup.

Finally, my own entry goes after President Bush for encouraging the ID movement who doesn’t just want ID studied…they want it studied in science class along side evolution. While the President didn’t say that, his comments gave the Luddites a boost. Next time, Mr. President; Shut Your Yap!

Part of the TTLB Uber Carnival