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10/13/2005
AL GORE IN SWEDEN: THE SPEECH HE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN
CATEGORY: Politics

I can’t decide whether Al Gore is a certifiable loon or certifiably insane. Not that it matters. The former Vice President, current owner of a TV station absolutely no one watches, and erstwhile inventor of the internet has had a very tough time of it since his close loss in the Presidential election of 2000. The trauma seems to have initiated delusional episodes that every once in a while manifest themselves in drooling, spittle-flying tirades against America before a bevy foreigners, global warming advocates, and jihadi appeasers around the world.

I suppose everyone has to make a living – even former Vice Presidents who almost have to purchase air time on TV to get noticed. Oh for the good old days when the world press hung on almost every word he uttered, breathlessly waiting for the next nugget of wisdom to flow from his usually confused and illogical mind. Nowadays, he’s got to compete for attention with a slew of other anti-American zealots. Even Europeans and B-List celebrities receive more ink for their incoherent rants against the United States than the man Bill Clinton called “The most effective Vice President in history.” Given that FDR’s Vice President John Nance Garner once compared his office to a “warm bucket of sh*t,” I guess that makes Al Gore the biggest overflowing commode to ever serve as second bananna . (Is that what Gore means when he talks about the left as ” a movement?”)

Be that as it may, Mr. Tidy Bowl was in Stockholm, Sweden yesterday to give a speech before an economic forum. Now a Democratic politician speaking at a European economic conference is like a jackass giving a speech at a convention of mules; something akin to the ignorant lecturing the emasculated. And what the Dishonorable Mr. Gore had to say about his own country on foreign soil only proves that when it comes to showing off one’s anti-American bona fides, never let it be said that a homegrown leftist loon was ever outdone in exhibiting hatred of the US by a bunch of European socialist lickspittles. Here, in the best tradition of Orson Scott Card and other counterfactual history novelists, is America ruled by Algore I:

When asked how the United States would have been different if he had become president, though, he had harsh criticism for Bush’s policies.

“We would not have invaded a country that didn’t attack us,” he said, referring to Iraq. “We would not have taken money from the working families and given it to the most wealthy families.”

“We would not be trying to control and intimidate the news media. We would not be routinely torturing people,” Gore said. “We would be a different country.”

Gore did not elaborate. But last year, he blamed Bush administration policies for the inmate abuse scandal at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

About the only thing I agree with in that snippet is that last part about America being “a different country” if Mr. Snooze Alarm had been able to convince a few more Floridians that handing him the keys to the White House wouldn’t have been an absolute catastrophe. Given the rather indifferent way in which the Clinton-Gore crew treated Osama Bin Laden and the poor, misunderstood jihadis and other enemies of the United States (how many times did Yassar Arafat stay overnight at the White House?) it seems certain that by this time in a Gore presidency, there would have been some kind of feel-good sit-down with al Qaeda and their apologists from around the world. This would have resulted in some kind of retreat by the US from the Middle East and other areas where the holy warriors want to establish a 21st century version of What’s my Caliphate?

Actually, I think that it might be interesting to play a little counterfactual game ourselves and fantasize about President Al Gore addressing the very same group of European dummypuppens:

Thank you for your kind welcome. I’m glad to be here in Sweden where that famous army knife was invented. After I became the very first Eagle Scout in American history, I have many fond memories of using the corkscrew on that wonderful tool to carve the faces on Mount Rushmore.

And of course, who can forget that Sweden is also home to those famous meatballs that I adapted for use in Spaghetti – a pasta that I remember fondly from my youth growing up on a humble 10,000 square foot mansion in Washington, D.C.

These last five years have seen big changes in America as we have striven to match and even surpass the accomplishments of our betters here in Europe. With hard work and a little luck, we’ve been able to approach the success of European economies in having the fewest number of people doing the least amount of work for the most amount of money possible thus bringing our unemployment in line with other enlightened economies. And while we will be hard pressed to match our friends in Germany and their 10% unemployment, we will not be deterred until as many US citizens are on the permanent unemployment rolls as can reasonably be expected in so short a period of time. After all, you Europeans have been at this a lot longer than we colonials (pause for laughter).

The Gore Revolution has seen the creation of an additional 150,000 federal bureaucrats with a projected increase of 5% per annum for the foreseeable future. And while this number lags behind some of the more lackadaisical economies in Europe, we hope to make up for any shortfalls with a concomitant increase in bureaucrats at the state and local levels of government.

Our new Department of Global Warming has been a spectacular success in this regard. With a bureaucrat measuring the carbon dioxide emissions of every house, outhouse, farm, factory, plant, and office building in America, we hope soon to see a reduction in economic activity that will bring us down to the same level of uselessness so treasured by the French and other European socialists.

After initial concerns that our tax policies would actually contribute to economic growth, I am now satisfied that the increase in rates on rich families making over $30,000 per year is finally bearing fruit and I can happily report that an economic downturn is in the offing.

And I’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of you for your assistance in our “Adopt a Jihadi” initiative. Following the tragedy of 9/11 – a perfectly honest misunderstanding between oppressed Muslims everywhere and the US - I’m happy to say most of our difficulties with Osama Bin Laden have been worked out and he along with Afghanistan’s Taliban government as well as Iraq’s benevolent dictator Saddam Hussein will no longer attack the west just as long as we allow them to do whatever they please and to whomever they want. And I would like to categorically deny that Saddam has any designs on his neighbors or that he wishes to use the WMD he has recently reconstituted following our successful lifting of sanctions, which was one of the first acts of my Administration and the one of that I am the most proud.

In closing, I’d like to thank the entire European community for serving as a model for my Administration. In short, we couldn’t have done it without you.

By: Rick Moran at 6:21 am
20 Responses to “AL GORE IN SWEDEN: THE SPEECH HE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN”
  1. 1
    Santay Said:
    6:47 am 

    Bravo Rick, spilled my coffee but otherwise a wonderful way to start the day.

  2. 2
    Matt Said:
    7:00 am 

    Al Gore is the perfect example of the Liberal Washington insider raised to rule us common folk. So many of the Liberals, Democrats, and fellow travelers feel they have the right to rule by what amounts to the “Divine Right of Kings”. Just because Al graduated from St. Alban’s Episcopal School for Boys in northwest Washington and from Harvard does not mean he should have been anointed “King”.

  3. 3
    Fly At Night - Providing a balanced view to Lassen County Trackbacked With:
    10:51 am 

    Al Gore In Sweden: The Speech He Should Have Given

    Rick Moran at the Right Wing Nut House takes a look at former VP Gore’s nutty speech that he gave in Sweden. What is it with liberals, once out of the country they simply can’t control themselves. They simply have to bow to the Europeans!

  4. 4
    clarice feldman Said:
    4:32 pm 

    ROFL—Hit the nail on the head. (Did you notice Ted K says he’ll support Kerry if Kerry runs again? I’m wearing my fingers out, crafting letters to both Kerry and Gore, begging them to run again.;) I want to see more and more of those grand “debates” during the Dem primaries with 90 candidates onstage.Gotta run. I forgot to make the same plea to Sharpton…)

  5. 5
    Raven Said:
    4:40 am 

    ROTF Rick…YOU always have such a way with words.
    I read an article about Al (the bore)Gore and all of this…wrote a little bleeb but YOU take the cake.
    I also read about Ted Kennedy supporting Jean Francois Kerrie vs. Shillary (Can we all see the SMOKE STACKS coming out of her ears)...gotta love politics eh?

  6. 6
    pst314 Said:
    2:35 pm 

    The Swedes wouldn’t fight the Nazis. They stayed “neutral” in the face of Soviet aggression. No surprise that these smug, useless hypocrites would love a weasel like Gore.

  7. 7
    Right Wing Nut House » CARNIVAL OF THE CLUELESS #17: Politics served up with a smile… And a stilletto. Pinged With:
    3:51 pm 

    [...] SUBMISSIONSHAVE YOU TRIED TO COMMENT AND BEEN INFORMED THAT WHAT YOU WROTE IS SPAM?RHUBARB! [...]

  8. 8
    Magnus Said:
    12:26 pm 

    Well. How should I approach this, as a Swede? Personally, I would consider myself a democrat, but not an American democrat, but rather what the Greeks originally meant by the word, a person who stands for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.

    I do not hide the fact that I do not agree with Mr. Bush, or American foreign policy. But I am willing to discuss, and not simple say meaningless things that are only meant to hurt. And how did Swedish foreign policy of the 1940’s get mixed in with this? Let us not forget that the Americans worked WITH Saddam Hussein, Agusto Pinochet and Usama Bin Laden (in the 80’s)! Do not throw brick in a house of glass.

    Also, Americans didn’t invent the world, or the policies that run the workplace. Do not come and lecture the world in work morals, or tell us that you have more willingness to work!

    We in Europe have a different view of the world, and how it should be run. As a Swede, and a democrat, I stand for the universal right for the person, and any infringement of this right by any government is in my view totalitarianism! I stand for equality and non-discrimination! I stand for economic prosperity, but not at the cost of other human beings wellbeing or that of the world! Do not throw bricks in a house of glass! Clean your own back yard before attacking others!

  9. 9
    Rick Moran Said:
    12:47 pm 

    Magnus:

    I don’t have the time nor inclination to argue with you about your pathetically naive view of history and economics.

    I will say I got a laugh when I read that you stand for “non-discrimination.” Coming from a country where there’s about as many people of color as there are summer seaside resorts, I found that particularly amusing.

  10. 10
    onlyaguy Said:
    4:09 pm 

    What the heck is an algore? Is that something that sticks to the bottom of your shoe when you walk in a park for walking dogs?

  11. 11
    Magnus Said:
    1:37 am 

    Rick,

    This really shows your ignorance! Sweden has one of the highest percentages of total immigrant population in the world! Higher than that of the US, by a long shot! In Sweden 25 % of the population has a foreign background, and with that I mean that either they or their parents were immigrants (not been residing in the country for more than 2 generations).

    Should we perhaps discuss the reason why you have so many “people of colour”, as you say?

    Have the facts before making accusations.

  12. 12
    Rick Moran Said:
    3:00 am 

    AHHH yes…why do we have so many “people of color?” while Sweden is so lily white?

    You proved my point for me beautifully!

  13. 13
    Watcher of Weasels Trackbacked With:
    1:28 am 

    Submitted for Your Approval

    First off…  any spambots reading this should immediately go here, here, here,  and here.  Die spambots, die!  And now…  here are all the links submitted by members of the Watcher’s Council for this week’s vote. Council li…

  14. 14
    Magnus Said:
    4:42 am 

    Oh Rick!

    You mean to say that your only argument is to play with words? Must make you feel good, deep inside, I guess. Well, I must admit that I am probably not as good in English syntax or as astute when it comes to finding words or comments to play with (in English that is). That is not so strange, considering that this is my third language.

    But I must say that you have proven my point from the very beginning. I am fully satisfied in learning that once an American (by the word American I do not mean the entire area of the two continents, but rather a US Citizen) has made up his mind, he will never change. How smart, in a world that embraces cultural diversity and cross cultural exchanges! However, 95 % of the world’s population has fully understood the benefits of cooperation, whereas you (read the 5% that is left) have not.

    I do believe that the future (in economic terms) belongs to areas such as Asia (China and India). This is something that brings hope for the future, especially since the European Union is for cooperation, and therefore we have the chance of succeeding, where you will or have already failed. Not because of your products or your companies but rather because of your single sided, always pro US, foreign affairs stance!

    Je vous merci, you have strengthened me in my opinion that we in the EU must look to other continents and economic areas for future partners and allies.

    You might wonder why I am interested in discussing these questions with you. Well, unlike you, I actually do have first hand information about the US. Considering that I have both studied and lived in the US for 3 years (Graduated from Brown in Providence, RI). Your knowledge of Europe is not as good, I’m afraid; this has been proved by your comments in this, and other questions, on the forum.

  15. 15
    Joe the Trucker Said:
    10:18 am 

    Magnus…

    I find it fascinating that in order to engage in this discussion you have to employ the internet (invented by algore) while using a PC (invented by IBM) all connected by countless other mechanical and software components invented by people in the USA. The wonderful economic partners that you look forward to shareing your brave new world with are for the most part educated in the USA, as were you. People from all over the world always have and always will seek to emigrate to the USA to take advantage of the prosperity that is available to ANYONE who is willing to work hard and obey the law and seek a dream. Enjoy your sauna, pornagraphy and dynamite.

  16. 16
    Watcher of Weasels Trackbacked With:
    3:50 am 

    The Council Has Spoken!

    First off…  any spambots reading this should immediately go here, here, here,  and here.  Die spambots, die!  And now…  the winning entries in the Watcher’s Council vote for this week are A Sketch History of U.S. Mili…

  17. 17
    The Wide Awakes » SEND IN THE CLOWN Pinged With:
    9:22 am 

    [...] I wrote here about the ex-Vice President and TV mogul wannabe and his trip to Sweden where the inventor of the internet daydreamed about what the world would have been like if only he had been elected in 2000 instead of George Bush. [...]

  18. 18
    truone Said:
    9:47 pm 

    my family has discouraged me from using the word ‘moron’ as it now officially politically incorrect. i then looked up the word ‘stupid’ for its exact definition. all should look up this word, its exact definition, and apply it liberally when referring to Clinton, Gore, Feinstein, and/or Boxer! we are dealing with a lack of practical intelligence here, not politics.

  19. 19
    Sweden! Said:
    1:36 pm 

    Well if you want Florida to sink, then go for it!

  20. 20
    Fly At Night » Blog Archive » Al Gore In Sweden: The Speech He Should Have Given Pinged With:
    2:06 pm 

    [...] Rick Moran at the Right Wing Nut House takes a look at former VP Gore’s nutty speech that he gave in Sweden. What is it with liberals, once out of the country they simply can’t control themselves. They simply have to bow to the Europeans! [...]

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