As regular readers of the Carnival know, I generally use this space at the start of the Carnival to highlight who I believe to be “Cluebat of the Week.” I was all set this week to name Syrian President Bashar al Assad for the honor thanks to his part in what has to be considered the most botched “conspiracy” in world history.

Think about this for a minute: More people probably knew about and participated in the assassination of Lebanese nationalist Rafiq Hariri than are going to vote for Harriet Miers for Supreme Court Justice. There was Assad, of course and his brother in law, Assef Shawkat. Then there was apparently most of the Syrian President’s cabinet. And there was Syrian intelligence that, according to the Mehlis report, used the sovereign state of Lebanon as its personal, brutish playground for more than a quarter century.

But that was only Syrian involvement. Syrian-siding Lebanese turncoats were also in on the plot. There were 4 high ranking Generals who have been implicated as well as radical islamists. Even the clueless puppet President of Lebanon Emile Lahoud was kept abreast of developments.

This was the dumbest conspiracy ever. Dumber than trying to sell arms for hostages. Dumber than using wadded up duct tape to prop open an access door at the Watergate in order to bug the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee. It was even dumber than sending thugs to the homes of women you’ve bedded down in the past to threaten them with physical harm if they opened their mouths about it.

But Assad has to take a backseat this week to the clueless antics of my pet cat Snowball.

Now Snowy is a beautiful girl, still just a baby at 14 weeks but nevertheless, a demon. She is the kitty from hell. She is Snowball the Destroyer, Snowball the Terrible, Snowball the Merciless. Since moving in, she has chewed through $70 set of headphones, shredded the cord to a floor fan, and gnawed into a pair of Ferragamo sandals.

But her latest caper is what she is being honored for; she clawed her way through the wire on my broadband connection box. And she was doing it while I was busy trying to keep the cord to my brand new $90 set of headphones away from her.

I thought I was clever. I thought I was outsmarting her. But while I believed she was sitting at my feet waiting for the headphone cord to come within her kitty grasp, she was actually sort of absent mindedly batting the cord to my broadband connection back and forth like a metronome, idly passing the time until my attention was elsewhere and she could go after her main target. Of course, her razor sharp claws were ripping the insulation off the broadband box wire as easily as they shred my skin whenever I pick her up to move her off our bed. The amazing thing is it only took her a couple of hours on Friday to accomplish what the Democratic Underground, the Kos Kids, and Oliver Willis could only dream; she kicked me off the internet.

The young ladies at Comcast service center who gave me another connector box thought it was cute. I wanted to slug them. Let them live with this devil’s familiar for a few weeks and those laughs will turn to heretical thoughts of selling the clueless animal to Mr. Lee’s Chinese take out down the street to be turned into soup a la Snowball.

So for deviltry above and beyond the call of any kitty I know, Snowball gets the nod as Cluebat of The Week. And as you peruse the Carnival entires below, I’m sure you’ll find your own candidate whose cluelessness will shock you, entertain you, and perhaps even bring a smile to your face.

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat teamwork.
(Edward Abbey)

Spot on, Eddie! I see you’re a Cubs fan.
(Me)

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Ferdy the Cat gives a spirited defense of his species and their utility as blog fodder as he angrily responds to a Toronto Mail article dissing blogs that use cat pictures and stories as filler. Now what kind of a blogger would shamelessly use their cat for “humor and whimsy?”

Adding a little international flavor this week is Angry in the Great White North with this bit of idiocy from north of the border. It seems that Canadian correction officials want to house a transgender inmate at a woman’s prison – this after moving him/her from a male prison and (here’s the clueless part) paying for his sex change operation!

Superhero (Boy! Does she look good in tights or what?) Pamela at Atlas Shrugs fisks Wesley Clark, grinding him into talcum powder for his clueless comments on Iraq.

Update on Don Surber’s campaign for “King of the Cotillion:” Um…know any good concession speeches? But Don concedes nothing in this great post on political correctness in Great Britain.

After a too long hiatus from the Carnival, the Palmetto Pundit is back and piling on cluebat Madonna. Says PP: “I’m having trouble imagining a scenario in which my parental skills could be improved by turning to Madonna for advice and guidance...” Um…yeah.

AJ at The Strata-Sphere has that clueless gadfly Larry Johnson, former CIA agent and Plame defender, dead to rights. Johnson once left me a comment on a Plame post reminding me that he “knows the people who killed drug kingpin Pablo Escobar.” Yeah? Impress me some more, Larry.

Miriam made the mistake of listening to NPR while they interviewed the clueless member of an Iranian rock band who wrote a song about Guantanamo. The mental image conjured up when thinking of what the group’s female back-up singers might look like makes me wonder how anyone can take them seriously.

Raven take aim at Cluebat Hall of Fame nominee Joe Wilson and fires off a few choice barbs at his contention that he’s actually a hero for lying through his teeth about his trip to Niger.

Here’s your weekly dose of satire from our dynamic duo of The Nose on Your Face and Mr. Right. It is suggested that you not be drinking any carbonated beverages when reading these two masters of the genre. TNOYF has “Top 10 PETA Comics” while Mr. Right brings us “Ronnie Earle Indicts Much of Texas on Conspiracy Charges .”

And while you’re in the mood for funny, check on Kender’s post comparing Vampires and Werewolves with the left and the ACLU. Classic Kender.

Tinkerty Tonk goes after the anti-war meme “Who would Jesus Bomb?” and wonders if the clueless lefties have ever met a Christian.

Josh Cohen is rightly up in arms over a little Republican hypocrisy regarding pornography and how it is defined. Whenever a politician starts talking about “protecting the children” grab your wallet and an extra copy of the constitution to protect them from the ravages of clueless legislators.

Those pain dealing pachyderms at Academic Elephants review Barbara Boxer’s new novel about Washington and dole out punishment requisite to the crime. Wonder which character Boxer sees herself as? I doubt whether she included a clueless, stumbling, bumbling Senator in the book.

Fred Fry correctly diagnoses the idiocy behind striking down the Georgia voter ID law. To compare the law to a poll tax is pure politics, as Fred points out. What gets me is that you can’t buy booze in Georgia unless you have an ID. But you can vote? Something is wrong there.

Blogbud Maryhunter has the skinny on the rapidly-fading-from-view Cindy Sheehan’s fallout with the possible Democratic nominee for President in 2008 Hillary Clinton. Very soon we’re going to get to the point that Democrats are going to welcome a non-endorsement from Mother Sheehan.

Cao of Cao’s blog (pronounced “key”) has the perfect cartoon for your weekend pleasure; a cluebat and a terrorist.

Regular House reader Bill Martin from the town with the great name of Thunder Bay, Ontario links us with this piece of more cluelessness from Canadian correction authorities. This time it involves publishing floor plans for prisons on the internet – in full view of the inmates who may be interested in the best way to escape their incarceration.

More fisking of the Canadian justice system, this time from the North American Patriot. Wonder Woman has some head scratching examples which show that we’re not the only ones who have idiots dispensing punishment to criminals.

Dan Melson is positively speechless about the cluelessness of California bureaucrats as he wrestles with provisions of that state’s Megan Law.

The Headmistress at Common Room has a hilarious take on one of the most curious stories ever published; AP’s take on Karl Rove’s garage.

Pat Curely links to a comparison between Gore and Hillary and make some salient points about Gore’s viability and qualifications.

Matt Johnston has a thoughtful article on the DC schools and the cluelessness of officials who cave in to special interest groups at the first sign of trouble.

Iris Blog successfully debunks the idea – pushed most notably by Timothy Noah of Slate - that Dame Margaret Thatcher is now opposing the United States in the Iraq war.

Is there any group more clueless than Neo-Nazis? Orac has the lowdown on the group’s demonstration in Toledo recently and the riot that ensued.

Different River blogs about the House passing liability protection for gun manufacturers. Perhaps the tide against gun regulation is turning as this bill will keep the trial lawyers from destroying the gun industry in America.

Finally, here’s my take on the cluebats in Syria who planned the Hariri assassination