Wishing only to avoid the ignominy of finishing last, I would ask that you take pity on me and throw a vote my way for Best Conservative Blog in Wizbang’s Weblog Awards.

Can you find it in your heart this holiday season to feel sorry for a fat old man and vote for The House? I mean, I only have so many family members and they’re all liberals anyway.

Can you find it in your heart this Christmas to “Click for Rick?”

Pity a poor man whose dreams fade as the setting sun and ragged head bows against the ravages of time and circumstance…

Make a miracle. Just think of me as Tiny Tim.

With apologies to the Kingston Trio:

Come a lands man, a pins man, a tinker or a tailor;
doctor, a lawyer, soldier, or sailor.
A rich man, a poor man, a fool or a witty,
don’t let me finish last so vote for me out of pity.

UPDATE

The Anchoress also tries the pity approach as she too wishes to avoid last place (sh*t – she’s beating me by 100 votes and worried about finishing last? Crimminy!):

I have a picture of my paternal grandmother; she has a mustache, thick ankles and she’s wearing men’s shoes. She sits on a parkbench and somehow manages to have her hands on her hips, as she sits. This is not a happy-looking woman…

My mother wore army boots and chewed tobacco but I don’t advertise it very often.

I have a picture of my maternal grandmother, holding a cigarette and a martini. She’s leaning forward and looking at something that is highly amusing. Or she’s just in her cups.

Both of them sport boobs down to their kneecaps! Genetics strikes again!

No fair bringing one’s sex into blegging for votes.

I have a picture of one of my brothers sporting a black eye, where I’d kicked him as he’d bent down to do something. I believe he had pissed me off. This was just days before my sister’s wedding, and yes, the kid has a shiner in all the pics. I was the flower girl, and very sweet.

This could be considered a veiled threat of some kind – that is, if I were a Democrat and saw Karl Rove behind every tree. But dearest readers I ask you – would you vote for someone who kicked their brother in the face? Even though I’m sure he deserved it?

Okay…okay…I’ll admit it. I voted for The Anchoress too. She’s a hell of a writer.

UPDATE II

You want pictures? I’ve got your pictures right here.

Here I am as a wee lad. Pay no attention to the bonnet. For the first 5 years of my life, I was raised as a girl.

BUT DON’T LET THAT SAD, TRAGIC FACT INFLUENCE YOUR VOTE.

How can you not vote for that face?