Spring is in the air. Outside of my bedroom window I can hear a robin warbling a welcome to warm weather, singing for its mate with the joy of the season heard in every note. The waterbugs are dancing on the surface of the creek, easy pickings for the bass and pike who, after having spawned thus assuring the next generation of challenges for local anglers, ravenously attack the hapless insects, themselves answering the call of nature to be fruitful and multiply.

Even the squirrels are getting into the swing of spring as they scurry across my backyard oblivious to the hungry looks from my cats who now sit in the open windows sizing up potential quarry – that is, if I ever let them outside. Sadly, Aramas, Ebony, and Snowball have to settle for dreaming about the chase, a daily occurrence confirmed if one were to pay attention to them while asleep. Those of us owned by kitties know when our masters are dreaming about the hunt. Their herky-jerky motions while asleep betray a shadow reverie involving the thrill of the hunt, a kitty kind of heaven where even my old girl Ebony is young and sleek and able.

Fortunately for us here at the Carnival, spring also means the sprouting of the clueless into the full flower of moonbattiness and wingnuttiness. In such a target rich environment, our contributors have had a field day.

Carnival holdover from last week Representative Cynthia McKinney continues to exhibit a level of cluelessness that boggles the mind. And President Ahmadinejad of Iran has proven that he deserves to be put on suicide watch by celebrating the fact that his scientists have unlocked some of the mysteries of the atom.

But, like the Immortals in The Highlander films, for Cluebat of the Week, “There can only be one.” And who else can this coveted title go to than our friend, Jacques Chirac, who not only demonstrated the latest french fashion in surrender techniques but reminded us yet again why it’s great to be an American.

Caving in to rioters has been elevated to national policy in France. By giving in to the spoiled dilettantes and wandering youth who spent most of last week stoning police, burning cars, and running wild in the streets, the Chirac government exhibited a cluelessness not seen since their ancestor’s capitulation to Hitler at Munich in 1937.

By failing to stand by lawmakers who put their political hides on the line when they passed a sensible labor law that allowed employers to act like capitalists and not socialist weenies in their hiring and firing practices, Chirac has condemned another generation of French youth as well as the French economy to dependency and stagnation. How soon will it be that French lawmakers will once again have the courage to defy the mob in the streets when the leaders of their own government cower in the shadows, hiding from the anger of their furious children?

A long time, I daresay. And thus, one of the largest economies in Europe will continue to drag the continent toward a tipping point where their aging populations can’t work and their youth refuses to be productive enough to support them in their old age.

Disaster, thy name is appeasement.

We’ve got quite a lineup of cluebats for you this week. Go ahead and start clicking – you know you want to!

“Albrecht’s Law – Intelligent people, when assembled into an organization, will tend toward collective stupidity.””(Karl Albrecht)

“Hey Karl! Did you use the Republican Senate as a model for that axiom?
(Me)

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Mark Coffey has a superior takedown of ex-Clinton hit man Max Blumenthal who suggested that the work of Victor Davis Hanson has been “discredited.” The link Blumenthal supplies to buttress that ridiculous charge is to a self-described “war nerd” whose silly, pretentious observations are full of conspiracy theories and laughably simple minded critiques of our war strategy. (Dave Niewert emails me that Max Blumenthal is the son of Sidney, a Clinton aide who investigated Republicans and released dirt on them – thus the sobriquet “hit man” that Mr. Neiwert seems to think indicates I believe him guilty or capable of murder. I told him to grow up. Ed.)

Kender sinks his teeth into a moonbat who has been blogging about the group site I also write for, The Wide Awakes.

Pat Curley takes on another clueless HuffPo writer, Stephen Elliott, who not only called GOP Congresswoman Heather Wilson “evil,” but then tried to cover that idiocy by deleting it from the original post. Obviously, the cluebat never heard of a Google cache. (Check the updates for further adventures in blogging by the hapless Mr. Elliott).

Orac has a great piece of writing skewering Paul Shattuck, purveyor of junk science extraordinaire, who has been spreading scare stories about vaccinations.

If they weren’t such a bloodthirsty bunch of terrorists, the cluelessness of Hamas would be fodder for stand up comedy. Iris Blog expertly reveals the looniness behind the reasoning of the murderous thugs.

The lovely Pamela at Atlas Shrugs is trying to keep track of the utter cluelessness of Reuters and their problem with terrorist nomenclature.

Jack Cluth has some real wingnuttiness from Texas as supporters of the disgraced Tom DeLay invade an opposition candidate’s rally and literally throw their weight around. Behavior unsuited to a democracy.

Cao is now a witness in a court case against the institution that harbors some of her prime tormentors – bloggers who have been using computers at Columbia University improperly.

Bill Teach instructs us in the foibles of Cynthia McKinney – and how dangerous a cluebat she really is.

HERE’S SOME CARNIVAL SATIRE FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE FROM OUR UNSTABLE STABLE OF SATIRICAL BLOGGERS:

Buckley F. Williams makes the hilarious case for Jack Bauer annexing Mexico.

You probably are unaware that we have been invaded by aliens – no, not those aliens. Actual space aliens. New-to-me website Moxargon is watching us.

The Baloney Press has the scoop on the President’s decision to export the National Hockey League to Iran.

Our favorite hippie chick Peace Moonbeam undergoes a “radical transformation” – with hysterically funny results.

Vox Poplar has more from his pen pal, the Yale Taliban.

Gullyborg has a revealing photo of the next CBS news anchor.

Dean Swift gives us a nice chuckle with this bit on a Cynthia McKinney protest by barbers and hairstylists.

CHECK THE CARNIVAL EVERY WEEK FOR THE VERY BEST SATIRE ON THE WEB!

GM Roper asks a thoughtful question: Is General Zinni, former CIC of CENTCOM, a hero or a mountebank?

Jon Swift has some thoughts on Jill Carroll and her impact on the blogosphere. I disagree strongly but hey! maybe I’m the real cluebat here…

Jay wants to Stop the ACLU from suppressing free speech at Pro-Life pregnancy centers.

Jeremy Bol has gotten some hate mail and asks people to pay his site a visit and let the cluebat know what you think. I love participatory democracy!

Ms. Underestimated has some more cluelessness from Cynthia McKinney, this involving the misuse of taxpayer funds.

Check out Spank the Donkey, a new-to-me blog with an attitude. This post on the Misadventures of Cynthia McKinney is a case in point.

Searchlight Crusade has a typical thoughtful take on war protesters and the consequences of dissent.

DL at Bacon Bits has the latest on our newest Cluebat Hall of Famer Al Gore and gives us the best title for a post this week: “Getting Bulled by Gore.”

Jake Jacobsen wonders if President Bush is insane for proposing a crazy immigration policy.

ROFA SIX: Is it sex? Or is it advertising? (perfectly safe for work…I think).

Those piquant pachyderms at Elephants in Academia gives us the complete lowdown on the consequences of the actions of our Cluebat of the Week, Jack Chirac in withdrawing the labor law.

Speaking of labor, Where I Stand has the skinny on John McCain’s appearance before a labor forum where love was apparently lost.

Josh Cohen relates some jaw-dropping cluelessness on the part of school administrators who suspended a kid who came to school with a pocketknife by mistake and voluntarily turned it into the office.

Here’s a thumbsucker I did on the cluelessness of a lefty writer who thinks all conservatives are closet racists.