They were lined up three deep, all vying for the coveted Cluebat of the Week title. If I had realized the award was this popular, I would have charged an entry fee.

Perennial favorite Howard Dean was so clueless, he entered twice. First, for giving an ultimatum to churches that they either STFU about politics or they will lose their tax exemption. Howard sees this as “reaching out” to conservative Christians although most of our evangelical friends would probably take issue with the fact that Dean was reaching out to grasp them by the neck, all the better to strangle them.

Dean’s second entry was equally humorous. He has come out in favor of “securing our borders.” Against who, he doesn’t say. One would hope that he means against illegal immigrants and al Qaeda terrorists although perhaps he means barricading his favorite bookstore which still refuses to carry editions of publications that feature the Mohamed cartoons.

Runner-up honors this week go to an old favorite of ours here at the House. Cindy Sheehan gave a tearful interview to a newspaper in which she bitterly complained that her son Casey had come home in a “cardboard box” and that no honor guard was there to meet the casket. She also said that the funeral home treated her and her family disrespectfully.

Enter the Director of the Funeral home and a crypt full of endorsements from local families that seemed to make Mother Sheehan out to be a (shhhh…don’t tell the MSM) liar. Not only was Casey laid out in a regulation military casket (not the metal shipping variety that lands at Dover, DE but the casket in which they ship the body back to the soldier’s hometown) and that the funeral home met the casket at the airport as they usually do; with two military guards of honor. It’s almost as if Sheehan doesn’t even care about how brazen her lying is anymore. She knows that there is absolutely no way that anyone of any note for any news outlet in America is going to call her on it. She seems to have a free pass for life – sort of like Al Sharpeton but without the $2,000 suits and diamond studs.

But for Cluebat of the Week, we need go no further than the pond scum who reside in the Democratic Underground who, not content with believing George Bush responsible for earthquakes, Tsunamis, Hurricanes, and the flop of Basic Instinct II, have crossed into a place usually reserved for Mafia Dons and CIA assassins. They published the personal information of Michelle Malkin and invited the deranged minions inhabiting that cesspool to show Malkin the consequences of disagreeing with them.

Ace said it better than any of us:

Well, pussies, keep it up. You can push this society ever and ever closer to open political violence, but it’s about time you took a look at your sorry fat asses in the mirror and remembered all the ass-kickings you suffered through in your years of miserable alienation in high school. You want this, tough guys? Last time I looked at the lot of you you looked like the sort of half-a-fags even I could kick the sh*t out of.

Cogently put.

So for being both nasty and clueless, the Democratic Underground is awarded “Cluebat of the Week.”

An abbreviated Carnival what with the holiday and all. Click that monkey…

“I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it.”
(Dame Edith Sitwell)

“Hey Eydie! You must have watched the White House press corps during Bush’s last press conference.”
(ME)

**************************************************************

Fred Fry points out the cluelessness of certain generals (and the left) who want Rummy to resign.

Count those prancing pachyderms at Elephants in Academia in as Rummy backers as well.

Brainster has the lowdown on the University of California-Santa Cruz students who started the Malkin kerfluffle by assaulting military recruiters on campus and then bragging about it in a press release.

Two Dogs has the story of the completely clueless English professor who asked for volunteers to tear down a pro-life display of crosses.

Are there any more clueless national security officials than former Clinton appointees? Giacomo doesn’t think so.

Josh Cohen has the most goddamn depressing post I’ve ever read. The clueless ones in this post are looking back at you when you look in the mirror.

Cao has more Mother Sheehan nonsense including a picture of the cluebat unveiling a monument to herself. Outrageous!

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SATIRE FROM OUR STABLE OF UNSTABLE CARNIVAL WRITERS!

It’s whaling season in the North Atlantic which is where our intrepid hippie chick Peace Moonbeam is making the world safe for sperm – er, whales that is.

Stingray has the picture of the day.

Dean Swift has some news: “[T]he DA’s office in Boston, Massachusetts has accused the Harvard 8 Man Crew Team of taunting, torturing and impaling a bus load of Mexican, illegal alien, lesbian, prostitutes who were in town to assist in an anti-war, anti-fur, vegan, Earth First, gay pride, ACLU, anti-Bush, peaceful demonstration to point out the horrors of global warming.

What else did Ted Kennedy say at the pro-illegal immigrant rally in DC? Buckley F. Williams stayed until the end to get it all.

Our favorite alien (no, the other kind) has a message not to be missed.

Vox Poplar has a great bit along the lines of the old Johnny Carson “Karnac” skits.

CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK FOR THE BEST CARNIVAL SATIRE AROUND!

Gary Sieling has a superior post about his hometown and why so many people look like pirates. Must read.

Our Carnival pin up girl Pamela has more Islamic fundie cluelessness about Mohamed. This time, it’s a cartoon of the prophet in hell. Sheesh! When are these people going to develop a sense of humor?

DL at Bacon Bits has some more immigration cluelessness from both parties.

Kender gives us immigration stats that make you go “hmmmmm.”

My own takedown of the DU moonbats is here.