This week’s Carnival is mostly about war; phony wars, blog wars, civil wars, and just plain old garden variety shooting wars. War seems to be the one endeavor that most of us humans excel at. It certainly seems to be one of the only things governments are able to get halfway organized to carry out. And there are apparently many humans who prefer engaging in it to the exclusion of just about everything else.

Unlike deep thinkers, I find nothing revealing in those truths. We are, after all, naked apes, proud members of the Vast Mammalian Conspiracy that has dominated this planet for nearly 30 million years. If it be the way of our kind to fight, to kill, to war, then the best we can do is recognize that fact and work within ourselves to reduce the urges that lead to conflict.

Please note I did not say that we can eliminate those urges. As that great philosopher James Tiberius Kirk once reflected from his perch from the future overlooking the past, mankind rid itself of war by “waking up determined that we wouldn’t kill..today.” This kind of 12 step program for warmongers – one day at a time denial of our baser instincts – sounds practical but is inevitably doomed to failure. It fails to recognize that not everyone belongs to Warmongers Anonymous and that until they do, it is best to keep one’s powder dry and eyes sharp.

This week’s Cluebat of the Week was not a hard choice. Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah, Spiritual Leader of Hizbullah was a close second last week and takes top honors this week for his continuing cluelessness in the face of an Israeli military action that is systematically stripping his terrorist army of its ability to do the one thing it does extremely well; kill helpless, innocent civilians suddenly and without warning. The Israeli Air Force has destroyed about 40% of the more than 12,000 rockets and missiles he had aimed at women and children. It has gotten so bad for Nasty Nasrallah that his Syrian and Iranian patrones are begging the United States to step in and stop the killing.

Ordinarily, our Presidents and Secretaries of State would jump at the chance to play a little “shuttle diplomacy,” scooting from capitol to capitol in the Arab world while threatening Israel with a cutoff of weapons shipments unless they stopped short of total victory. But George and Condi aren’t playing by the rules, damn them! George is solicitous enough regarding civilian casualties but appears to be fairly relaxed about this whole war thing as Israel strips Hizballah naked before the entire Arab world.

And Condi? It appears she picked a helluva week to develop a fear of flying. While Syria is begging her to fly to Tel Aviv and save Hizballah’s ass, Condi instead has decided on the proverbial slow boat to Damascus, moving like a tortoise against the hare. This has enraged liberals who have a cow if an American President tries to interfere in the internal affairs of any nation on the planet – except those that liberals want him to interfere in. In this case, the left believes that George can call up Israeli PM Olmert and order him around like some kind of recalcitrant schoolboy. This would come as a huge surprise to both men – especially the proud Olmert, who has apparently determined that if the least he can do is buy peace for his people for a couple of years, he will do so regardless of the cost to Israel’s ever shrinking international standing.

But Nasrallah, in the biggest miscalculation of any leader so far in this young century – bigger than Saddam, bigger than John Kerry, bigger even than Stephen Spielberg in making Munich – is now paying for his stupidity. And a lot of dominoes in the Middle East may fall because of it.

So for exhibiting unbelievable cluelessness in starting a war that could lead to his destruction, Hassan Nasrallah is this week’s Cluebat of the Week.

And below, for your viewing pleasure, are 14 more slices of true cluelessness, guaranteed to give you a chuckle or make your jaw drop. Start clicking!

“War is based on deception.”
(Sun Tzu)

“Hey Sunny! You talkin’ about war or politics?”
(Me)

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Fred Fry has a redesigned blog but the same old brilliance. He takes down Cluebat Hall of Famer Hillary Clinton for her advocacy of some unnecessary equipment. And check out Fred’s analysis of what our fighting men really need to be effective. First rate stuff.

Fausta has an excellent take on a starry eyed London Times reporter who gives a glowing account of his trip to Cuba. They got chickens and everything!

Tom Bowler has an excellent piece detailing the about face by Senator Voinovich on the nomination of John Bolton for UN Ambassador. What, no tears this time Senator?

Adam Graham has a curious post about a blogger who seems a might confused about who’s running for what in his native Idaho. Now that’s clueless.

Colorado Right points out the cluelessness of scientists regarding global warming predictions. We call global warming a “target rich environment” for stupidity.

From our “Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio” department, today’s peace activists should really learn how to draw the peace sign. Cao has one who is apparently dyslexic.

A RETURN OF THE CARNIVAL SATIRE SECTION!

Potfry picked up some notes from unhinged child threatening lefty Deb Frisch’s psychiatrist. Note: Do not drink liquids while reading.

Buckley F. Williams has some sage advice for Joe Lieberman in “Top 9 Things Joe Liebermann Finds Preferable To Bill Clinton’s Campaign Support.”

Vox Poplar has the hilarious “Hezbollah’s-A-Poppin.”

DON’T MISS OUR UNSTABLE STABLE OF CARNIVAL SATIRISTS EVERY WEEK!

Bill Teach has the jaw dropper of the day; the “Pedophile Party” in Holland has just been granted standing to run candidates in elections.

Miriam has some good old fashioned bureaucratic cluelessness that everyone will recognize immediately.

DL at TMH Bacon Bits has some head scratching cluelessness on the part of the left regarding their contention that they are “strong on defense.” Defense of Spotted Owls, maybe…

From our friend Lecentre north of the border, some thoughts on the cluelessness of those who complain about “proportionality” in Israel’s response to aggression.

Here’s my singular contribution to the Glenn Greenwald blog war.