I rise from my sickbed this morning to weigh in on Keith Olbermann’s latest “Special Comment” during which he referred to Fox News Reporter Chris Wallace – a journalist who has won every major broadcast news award around – as a “monkey posing as a newscaster” and accused Republicans of trying to foist blame for 9/11 onto the Clinton Administration.
The fact that I am dizzy, drugged up, and incoherent this morning makes me the perfect candidate to respond to Olbermann’s ignorant rant. Judging by some of the jaw droppers unleashed by the Unhinged One during his confused and typically shallow critique of Fox News, conservatives, Republicans, the Bush Administration, and the press, MSNBC should probably initiate drug screenings for its on air talent at the earliest possible moment. Either that or someone should make sure that Keith is still taking his Lithium religiously for it is apparent the reality Keith is experiencing is on some other plane of existence than the rest of us.
For the longest time, I tried my best to peg Olbermann, to define his appeal in normative terms; A left wing clown? A liberal provocateur? A humorist a la Will Rogers? A self-anointed Diogenes, carrying the lantern throughout America looking for the one honest man?
Olbermann tried all of these approaches and failed miserably. It wasn’t until he realized that his bread was buttered by liberal bloggers did he begin to demonstrate some traction with his show. In fact, it is eerie how like a liberal blog his show has become; wildly accusatory with no evidence to back up outrageous charges; sophomoric flights of logic and reason; an unhinged whining that causes the viewer to actually recoil in disgust at some of the self-pitying “woe is us” rhetoric; and a breathtaking shallowness that outlaws context and substitutes emotion for rational thought.
In this respect, Olbermann’s shtick is reminiscent of the high school know-it-all who used to drive everyone nuts by trying to prove he was smart by using a large vocabulary – invariably misusing terms willy nilly – while taking on a professorial air of superiority that attracted every bully in the school like flies to rotting meat. Loud, insufferable, and laughably incoherent at times, the know-it-all was able to gather around him the witless, the woebegone, and the wasted where he would hold forth every day in the lunchroom, his sycophants hanging on every word.
Reading this transcript of his remarks last night, it is clear that Olbermann has slipped the surly bonds of earth to touch the face of idiocy. To call a fellow journalist a “monkey” is so far beyond what passes for rational discourse that even a lefty blog should find such rhetoric disturbing.
Of course, they don’t. In fact, they are cheering Mr. Olberman on to ever higher flights of rhetorical excess and juvenile name calling. Reporter Wallace is a “monkey.” Bush is a “coward.” This is what passes for reasonable dialogue on lefty blogs and Olbermann doesn’t let his audience down.
But the real dishonesty by Olbermann comes when he ascribes actions to the Bush Administration that he not only offers no proof for but that are also belied by the facts. For instance:
Moreover, for the last five years one month and two weeks, the current administration, and in particular the President, has been given the greatest â€œpassâ€ for incompetence and malfeasance in American history!
This, of course, is one of the Ãœber talking points on liberal blogs; that the press are a bunch of lapdogs. One wonders how Olbermann and his shipmates on the S.S. Perpetually Outraged got their high school diplomas without benefit of acquiring the ability to read. How, in fact, did we find out about this “incompetence and malfeasance?” A little birdie? Perhaps Olbermann has powers of divination that allows him special access to the supernatural for his Special Comments?
Should we tell Keith and his crew that their ammunition to prove incompetence and malfeasance comes from the press and therefore negates the “Bush is getting a pass” meme? Not if you don’t want to be showered with brain matter following the collective explosion of liberal heads. Logical thought to a lefty is like anti-matter. When it comes in contact with the muddled gray stuff in their confused, limited, and emotionally charged cranium, the two forces annihilate each other thus causing a rupture in the space-time continuum. Thankfully, there isn’t much chance of swaying a liberal with logic so we’re safe for the time being.
Caution: The following will make you want to tear your hair out if you are older than 5, can write complete sentences, and have the wit and reason to know the difference between reality and make believe:
It is not important that the current Presidentâ€™s portable public chorus has described his predecessorâ€™s tone as â€œcrazed.â€
Our tone should be crazed. The nationâ€™s freedoms are under assault by an administration whose policies can do us as much damage as al Qaida; the nationâ€™s marketplace of ideas is being poisoned by a propaganda company so blatant that Tokyo Rose wouldâ€™ve quit.
Nonetheless. The headline is this:
Bill Clinton did what almost none of us have done in five years.
He has spoken the truth about 9/11, and the current presidential administration.
“Portable” public chorus? Olbermann’s strained alliteration is sprinkled throughout his piece and hearkens back to that know-it-all high school kid. And please note the hysterical comparison between al-Qaeda and the Administration. Such over the top stupidity is lapped up by liberal blogs. It fits in perfectly with their worldview that the War on Terror is a sham and that al-Qaeda is no more a threat than the mugger in the park or rapist in the alley.
And believing that “Bill Clinton did what almost none of us have done in five years,” by giving the Democratic spin on 9/11 is either sly disingenuousness or Olbermann is oblivious to The Narrative. The “truth” being spun by liberal bloggers, pundits, media, and politicians has been non-stop for 5 years. To give Clinton a privileged position as truth teller is laughable.
More strained and putrid prose from Olbermann with Keith getting out the kneepads to service his hero:
Thus in his supposed emeritus years has Mr. Clinton taken forceful and triumphant action for honesty, and for us; action as vital and as courageous as any of his presidency; action as startling and as liberating, as any, by any one, in these last five long years.
“Forceful and Triumphant?” The awkwardness is embarrassing, jarring to the senses. By trying to sound Murrowesque, Olbermann ends up sounding like Elmer Fudd.
And I hope Clinton has the common decency to respond to Olbermann’s gooey eyed groveling. Such lap dog devotion should be rewarded with at least a Milk Bone or some other doggie treat.
Saving the most calumnious for last, Olbermann then offers up a shocking charge without one scintilla of evidence to back it up:
After five years of skirting even the most inarguable of factsâ€”that he was president on 9/11 and he must bear some responsibility for his, and our, unreadiness, Mr. Bush has now moved, unmistakably and without conscience or shame, towards re-writing history, and attempting to make the responsibility, entirely Mr. Clintonâ€™s.
Of course he is not honest enough to do that directly.
As with all the other nefariousness and slime of this, our worst presidency since James Buchanan, he is having it done for him, by proxy.
Thus, the sandbag effort by Fox News Friday afternoon.
No, you are not reading incorrectly. Keith Olbermann is accusing a major national news network of being in cahoots with the White House in an effort to “rewrite” history. He offers no proof of this conspiracy. No proof of this connection. No proof of anything at all, most especially that anyone is trying to “rewrite” anything.
Only in Olbermann’s hysterically juvenile fantasies (and those of his slavering supporters in the lefty blogosphere) does a recitation of the known facts – gathered by the 9/11 Commission, Richard Clark, and others – regarding the inconstancy, the hesitancy, the confusion, the misplaced priorities, the missed chances, and the suicidal underestimation of the capability of our enemies by the Clinton Administration become an effort for the Bushies to dodge responsibility for 9/11.
First of all, the historical record won’t let them. Nor will the historical record be unkind to Clinton’s efforts against terrorism which, despite its many flaws (flaws that when pointed out, for some reason, sends the left into paroxysms of apoplectic anger), at least recognized Bin Laden as a threat.
The fact of the matter is that the left saw a political opening via 9/11 (and found a way to negate the Administration’s political use of that date) and have attempted to shift the entire blame from Osama Bin Laden for the attacks and place it in the oval office. It has largely worked although I sense in the desperation of Clinton’s remarks as well as Olbermann’s rant that this rehash of arguments about 9/11 may be resonating with the American public. The semi-fictitious Path to 9/11, which has set off this debate, has people questioning the dominant lefty Narrative about 9/11 for the first time. It is this that Olbermann and Clinton are railing against; people re-examining the conventional wisdom and putting the American government’s response in a context detrimental to the political aspirations of Democrats.
But Olbermann’s charge of collusion between Fox and the White House is so ridiculous that only in the fringe fever swamps of the left will it get any play. In fact, an encouraging sign that some of the saner liberals are saying enough with regards to Olbermann’s ever more unbalanced “Special Comment” segment:
Key-th Olbermann is as shrill as Tiny Tim sucking a balloon full of helium and then blowing sixty-four octaves above middle C on a giant dog whistle right in your ear. And not the original recording, mind you – the cover. By Alvin & The Chipmunks.
Um…’kay. At least their hearts are in the right place.
(NOTE: Apparently, I am mistaken. There are no sane lefties out there. Imagine my embarrassment in learning that at the link above, “Shrill” doesn’t mean “strident or intemperate.” Or perhaps it does mean that but it is seen as a badge of honor by some liberals. Kinda like “speaking truth to power” minus the truth and substituting ear muffs. Or maybe the truth is there but you leave out the speaking part. Actually, I believe that many liberals believe that acting and speaking like an ass should be their ultimate goal.
My head hurts…)
Allah is waiting for Olbermann to go completely off the rails and start spouting 9/11 conspiracy theories. He’s already had on as guests several leading truthers so that wouldn’t surprise me one bit. It is evident that Olbermann has given up on trying to impress the kind of liberals who grace the salons of the Upper West Side. The society folk like their Bush hatred warm but not too hot lest it scorch those whose humor tends more toward the cerebral rather than Olberman’s Punch and Bush show physicality.
But I have no doubt he will be handsomely rewarded by the netnuts who luxuriate in his laughable attempts at profundity while egging him on to ever greater heights of irrelevancy.
You almost want to avert your eyes when the inevitable crash comes but, like those of us who watch NASCAR solely for the spin-outs and pile-ups, the entertainment value of watching Olberman melt like the Wicked Witch of the West right before our eyes will be immensely satisfying.