One of the most unforgettable moments in the history of 24 was in Season 2 when Jack, wanting to prove his worth to a crime ring involved in a terrorist plot so that he can infiltrate it, kills someone who betrayed the bad guys and, in a casual almost bored voice, tells George, the head of CTU at the time, “I’m gonna need a hacksaw.”

Jack needs the hacksaw so that he can cut off the snitch’s head and deliver it to the crime ring boss, once more proving that Jack will do anything to get the job done and protect the country.

When Gredenko had his arm cut off so that the implanted tracking device would be useless in helping CTU following him, every long time 24 fan probably yelled that famous quote at the screen. It has become a signature line that all Jack Bauer fans use when the show starts to go off the tracks – when the writers have lost focus and the plot threads dissolve into a jumble of half baked, confused and sometimes contradictory action. And the last few weeks have sadly confirmed this fact; that the show has lost its drive and is simply treading water, advancing at a snails pace, going off on tangents (like Doyle’s covering up for Milo’s mistakes and then quoting the Koran to Nadia), and getting farther and farther from it’s very promising beginning.

Where’s Jack’s father Phillip? What about Marilyn and her son Josh? They’ve completely dropped the Assad peace movement, the Muslim roundup, the detention center dramas, and Daniels’ security plan from the show. And Chloe has been AWOL for weeks – very little snark and vinegar from the show’s favorite character. The long, boring, drawn out attempt by Daniels to take over the government could have been handled in 15 minutes instead of being the focus of nearly 2 whole episodes. And perhaps it would help if we had some background info on what is going on in the country. After all, a nuclear bomb was detonated less than 12 hours ago. But you’d never know it except for a few roundabout references to it in relation to what would happen if another bomb went off.

It’s not unusual for the show to hit spots like this only to come roaring back. But with only 7 weeks to go (the final night is usually a two part special), it’s going to take a Herculean effort by the writers to get the show off the snide and back on track.

SUMMARY

As Daniels spins his evil web of intrigue against the President of the United States, we see Wayne Palmer sitting up, fully dressed, and apparently ready to take on the world. The fact that less than an hour ago, he was in an induced coma – a state that would ordinarily take several days to recover enough where the patient could actually open their eyes and speak – is forgotten as Wayne prepares to fight for his presidency. In that vein, he casually asks the doc for a shot of adrenaline.

Now “adrenaline” or “epinephrine” as it is referred to by the medical community, is not something to be played around with. It is given, in most circumstances, as a last resort to help restart the heart following a heart attack or drug overdose. And it is not administered in the arm either. The doctor uses a huge needle (in order to penetrate the chest muscles) and shoots the drug directly into the heart.

Anyone who has watched ER over the years knows this so it is surprising that the writers couldn’t have come up with something a little more realistic.

Back at Hauser’s house, Jack relays Gredenko’s demands for amnesty and no repatriation to Bill. When Bill tells Jack about the cabinet crisis, Jack realizes he’s got Gredenko just where he wants him. With the issue of who is president unsettled, it would make any agreement with the government null and void. Jack tells Bill that he has “no intention of honoring” the agreement anyway and asks his boss to keep him informed. Bill calls the AG to get the ball rolling.

As Wayne walks stiffly and in obvious pain into the cabinet room, the members stand in deference to the office. Vice President Daniels gets off the most nauseating line of the night and perhaps the season:

DANIELS: I know I speak for everyone here when I say how very happy I am to have you with us again.

Both Karen and Tom appear ready to gag while Wayne shoots the Veep a withering look of contempt. For some reason, Tom takes over the meeting although in reality, the senior cabinet officer – the Secretary of State by tradition – would probably handle that duty. (The Secretary of State was the first cabinet officer named by George Washington.)

Tom asks the doctor to give the cabinet an update on the President’s condition. He lays out a compelling case that, while the President is weak, he is expected to make a full recovery and that his cognitive functions seem unimpaired. He leaves a smidgen of doubt however, by saying that Wayne could relapse at any time.

Next up, President Palmer makes a strong case for remaining in office, saying that Daniel’s efforts to take over are the result of a policy disagreement. Since we’re talking about launching a nuclear missile, that would seem to be the understatement of the year.

When he gets his chance, the Veep actually agrees. He says that the 25th Amendment can be activated just for that purpose – to replace a man who is not acting in the best interests of the country.

When Tom called for the vote, the tally was 7-7. By the terms of the amendment, Daniels needed a clear majority to take over so it appeared that he had lost and Wayne Palmer would remain as president.

Not so fast says the slippery Veep. Karen Hayes resigned as National Security Adviser and was not formally reinstated. Her vote was invalid. And since this is America, the only rational way to resolve the dispute is to take the matter to the courts. In this case, the Supreme Court is informed of the controversy and briefs will be submitted within the hour.

Actually, the cabinet could have voted on Daniel’s motion to invalidate Hayes’ participation but that just wouldn’t have been dramatic enough. Besides, the writers are milking this thing for all that’s it’s worth. They may as well get a few more scenes out of it.

Back at CTU, Milo sidles up beside Nadia perhaps looking for a repeat of the lip lock they enjoyed a few minutes ago. This time, Milo would be able to wrap both arms around the Arab hottie because, Presto! His sling, in place since a bullet pierced his shoulder that morning, has magically disappeared. This is due to a time honored tradition on the show: The Twelve Hour Rule.

Now, The Twelve Hour Rule clearly states that:

“After 12 hours of showing the effects of any injury (i.e. broken ribs, sprained ankles, but especially bullet wounds) the affected CTU personnel will discard any outward manifestation of his injury including but not limited to; bandages, scars, cuts and bruises, and any and all physical defects such as limping, wincing in pain, or favoring the affected body part in any way.”

The reason? The writers think we the viewer have the memory capacity of a marmoset and the brains of a toad. But since they have consistently applied this rule for years, I suppose we can’t complain that much.

At any rate, Milo gives Nadia a final leer and saunters away. Just then Doyle calls Nadia and asks her to come up to see him. He tells her that apparently, the ease with which the terrorists penetrated CTU computer security was due to a serious error in establishing the security parameters. Doyle suspects Milo and wants Nadia to get the info off Milo’s computer for him.

When Nadia in fact finds this security breakdown on Milo’s part, most long time fans had their mole antennae prick up and come to attention. What are the chances that Milo “accidentally” forgot this vital security function? Is he so enamored of Nadia that it is distracting him from his work?

Stay tuned. And keep an eye on the geek Lothario.

More nonsense from the writers when Nadia gives the info to Doyle who then erases it from the computer memory. His explanation that CTU needs Milo to get the bombs rings hollow. As does his bizarre quoting of the Koran to the Muslim woman – ostensibly in order to show what a great guy he actually is.

If, as many commenters on different sites have been speculating, Doyle will be Jack’s replacement when Bauer is killed off, that kind of nonsense is necessary to turn him into more of a compassionate guy. But it was so out of character that one wonders why the writers even bothered.

Another useless scene, this time a phonecon between Bill and Karen. She frets that her stupidity in resigning might be the catalyst for a nuclear attack on another country. Bill mans up and reassures her while the two have a tender moment.

Can we get back to the show please?

With his amnesty papers in order (confirmed by Gredenko’s attorney which leaves us wondering why the Feds haven’t pounced on this guy too), the Russian calls Fayed to set up a meet. But Fayed is wary and picks the docks as his rendezvous point, telling Gredenko that he will find him once he gets there.

Back at the White House, the President readies his brief for the Supreme Court with the help of his sister Sandra. She points out it is a strong case – that Karen’s sitting in on a cabinet meeting with Daniels speaks to his intention to keep her on as NSA thus making her vote valid.

But in the lounge, Daniels and Lisa are scheming. When Lisa points out that their case is weak and will probably fail, Daniels gets this look on his face of faux concern and speaks about how bad this would be for the country, that Palmer is a weak sister and the world will take his inaction as a sign of weakness.

This proves too much for Lisa who practically tears her blouse off and offers herself to the Veep, so stirred she is by Daniels’ words (in more than one way). She hits upon an idea of committing perjury by swearing out an affidavit that the Veep told her that he was going to fire Karen once the crisis was over. “The ends justifies the means,” she pants. With a deft and evil smoothness that masks his degeneracy, Daniels pretends to reject Karen’s plan. But he takes her hand while doing so and that’s all that’s necessary for Lisa to melt into a puddle of mush and agree to commit the felony – all the while, looking soulfully into the Veep’s eyes.

Wish I could get women to do stuff like that for me. Not commit perjury, of course. But I haven’t had an effect on women like that in, well…ever. Maybe there’s a website that gives us males all those secrets.

Then again, my Zsu-Zsu probably wouldn’t understand. Being a practical, down to earth kind of girl, she’d probably just knock me over the head with a frying pan and order me to take out the garbage. Now that is what I call control!

Back at the docks, Fayed prepares to meet Gredenko. He unloads the nukes from the truck, making us wonder what has made him so suspicious all of a sudden. I bet the writers are wondering too.

At the White House, Tom pays a visit to Daniels and, after dismissing the wench Lisa, reveals the existence of a bug that he planted “to protect himself.” Daniels’ hooded eyes become even more closed as he warns Lennox to be “very, very careful.” And “careful” appears to be Tom’s middle name. He takes out a recorder and plays back the perjury scenario discussed by Daniels and Lisa. Lennox orders the Veep to call the Supremes and tell them that he is dropping his challenge. Reluctantly, Daniels agrees.

As Karen gives the President the launch codes so that he can cancel the nuclear strike permanently, Sandra bursts into the room with the good news about the Veep dropping his challenge. After the two women leave, Palmer sags noticeably. It’s clear that he isn’t feeling very well. He calls his secretary and asks her to get the doctor to his office pronto.

Having reached the docks, CTU TAC load Gredenko up with the monitoring equipment, including the injection of a small amount of nuclear material into his arm so that they can track him wherever he goes. As Gredenko starts down the pier, Jack observes him from afar while the gang at CTU listen in as well. They hear a phone ringing and Gredenko picks it up. No one is on the line but Jack sees him reading something off the phone. It’s a text message telling him where to go. As Gredenko disappears around a corner, Jack takes off in pursuit after he learns that Doyle and his main force is still 20 minutes away.

After the Russian is hustled into the building to meet Fayed, he silently takes the bug out of his pocket and disconnects it. With CTU blind and deaf now, Jack confirms with Milo that Gredenko is still in the building and takes off after him in earnest while the Russian tells Fayed that even though he has betrayed him by bring CTU along, he has a plan to get them away safely.

Jack arrives at the building and finds it empty. Milo confirms that the nuclear trace is still active and shows Gredenko in the same room with Bauer, just feet from where Jack is standing. But no Fayed. No Gredenko. And no Gredenko arm. Like an animal caught in a steel trap gnawing off its own limb, the Russian had Fayed cut it off so that CTU couldn’t track them.

But like a hunter following a wounded prey, Jack picks up Gredenko’s blood trail and sure enough, it leads him right to the little group trying to make a getaway. After a short shootout with Fayed’s men (taking out the second one after saying under his breath “Show your head,” before executing a perfect shot to the terrorist’s forehead), Jack keeps following Fayed and Gredenko like a bloodhound.

Desperate now, the two terrorists enter an open air dockside bar where Gredenko – inexplicably at the moment although we may learn later his motive – shouts to the assembled dockworkers and pier street brawlers “Here’s the terrorist they’re looking for! I saw him on the news!”

There are few more patriotic souls than Longshoremen who prove it by attacking Fayed with gusto, even after the terrorist plugged one of the innocent bystanders. Before they can beat Fayed senseless, Jack arrives and gets control of the situation, taking Fayed into custody. Meanwhile, Gredenko has once again escaped.

Back at the White House, the doctor arrives in Palmer’s office and Wayne orders him to administer another shot of epinephrine. The doc balks, telling the President that his blood pressure will shoot up and there will almost certainly be “vascular damage.” Get it done, doc says the President, or I’ll find someone else who will.

As the shot revives the President, Bill calls with the good news/bad news about Fayed. Yes they have him in custody but no, they don’t know where the nuclear bombs are. Wayne tells them to keep plugging away and find those nukes. He gets a strange look on his face as if the shot was doing something to him besides pepping him up.

On the beach, we watch as Gredenko staggers underneath a pier, the life oozing out of him. Finally, he keels over dead as waves wash over his body. Does he have something on him that CTU needs to find? A map? A phone number? Or are the writers done with Gredenko and decided on this anti-climactic end to one of the main villians on the show?

Karen meets with Tom and asks for a truce since they both seem to be on the side of the angels recently. Tom agrees and just then, gets a call. The shocking news sends him racing to the conference room; the President is about to launch the nuke on Fayed’s country anyway.

Bursting in, Lennox pleads with Palmer who says he can’t look weak or he’ll lose the presidency. Tom retorts, “Do not confuse being reckless with being strong!” Then quite matter of factly, the Admiral reports that the missile has been successfully launched. And Karen, Tom, and the rest of the cabinet can only watch the radar image as the missile rises gracefully from beneath the ocean on its way to a rendezvous with destiny.

BODY COUNT

A kind of blasé night for the Grim Reaper, although the death of Gredenko should have been a major milestone. The way it was handled was quite disappointing. I think most of us would have prefferred Gredenko to have died a more horrible death.

At any rate, the night was not a total loss. In addition to Gredenko, Jack upped his body count by two, showing off a little marksmanship in the process. And Fayed got off only one shot before being overwhelmed by Longshoremen, killing an innocent bystander.

TOTAL

JACK: 17

SHOW: 394