Note: We’re going to play a little counterfactual game today based on the following input: Suppose the primaries end and no GOP candidate has achieved a majority of delegates? In that case, the role of the Republican convention will revert to what such conclaves used to be about; a venue where nominees were actually chosen rather than the idiotic beauty pageants and love fests they’ve become today.

Following are some excerpts from my blog posts from the time I arrived in Minneapolis on August 30, 2008 to the end of the convention.

(I will update this post for the next few days) Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here.

*******************************************************

September 2, 11:00 AM

The adventure at “Ed Morrissey’s Happy Bottom Riding Club and Flop House” continued this morning when several dozen of us wanted to take a shower and shave. Cleanliness may be next to Godliness but that didn’t stop the First Mate from standing outside the bathroom with an egg timer, giving everyone exactly 2 minutes to shower. If someone dared go over she would immediately threaten to send Ed in with a wet towel to snap the offending guest on the rump – regardless of the sex of the bather. It worked. All but a few of us had hot water although I have about 5 nicks on my face from shaving so fast. Ed gave me a palmfull of Brut to rub on the cuts so now I not only look like Scarface but I smell like a gigolo.

Arriving at the Excel Center, you immediately notice the prevalence of social cons in the crowds milling outside. They’ve come for the big floor fight this morning over the anti-gay marriage amendment or, as some refer to it, the “unnaturally offensive amendment.” That’s because of this passage that the social cons are fighting to keep in the plank:

“We believe that marriage should be defined as a union between a man and a woman and should be preserved and protected from unnatural alterations.”

Such an amendment would make sense – if we were talking about preventing men from marrying sheep or women from marrying goats. But the social cons want their pound of flesh (and an expression of their nauseating bigotry) so there was no compromising in meetings leading up to the convention.

As an aside, I believe there is a secular case that can be made against gay marriage. I am less and less swayed by it but people of good conscience and character can disagree.

But no purpose is served by referring to gay marriage as “unnatural.” Therein lies the rank bigotry that makes many of us secular conservatives ashamed of that ideological label.

It’s almost as if the social cons are bringing on this fight to deliberately anger the rest of the party. They made it clear in no uncertain terms that the savaging of Mike Huckabee during the primary campaign was just about the last straw.

James Dobson’s reviving his dark mutterings of setting up a third party following the bruising March 4 Texas primary where religion played such a huge role and where Romney’s campaign was resurrected after his month long series of attacks on Huckabee’s supposed “hypocrisy.” The Huckster had it coming after calling himself the only “real” Christian in the race – a gaffe he has yet to live down. It shattered his momentum and put Romney right back in the ballgame with a strong second place showing to Giuliani. That and his big win in Ohio on the same day (and Fred’s surprising second place) assured Romney that he would be in the field until the end.

To placate the social cons, the Platform Committee gave in to most of their demands on the anti-abortion plank, the “Faith in the Public Square” plank which called on the party to defend people of faith (Christians) from attacks of the godless secularists, and the homeschooling plank which called on Republicans to acknowledge the contribution of home schooling to the education of children.

But the Committee and much of the party wouldn’t budge on the unnaturally offensive amendment, thus, the floor fight.

And a fight it is with the social cons doing all the punching. It’s as if all the years of frustration spent in the background have been unleashed – the bitterness and what they consider “betrayal” bubbling and frothing at the surface.

Most of the speakers this morning have been pro-Amendment – many of them preachers from this group or that one. Much biblical quoting, usually passages involving the devil (libertarian conservatives), demons (liberals), and “Judas” (the rest of us). Their over the top rhetoric is being met with roars of approval by supporters in the half full convention hall.

At times, the place takes on the aura of a revival meeting with shouts of “Hallelujah!” and “Amen!” coming from the colorful array of characters dotting the convention floor. Political conventions are famous for their weird and wonderful individuals dressed in funny clothes, wearing funny hats. Christians are no different except their funny hats are festooned with crosses. Once and a while, you catch a glimpse of a bunch of people standing around in a circle with linked arms. They appear to be in deep thought but then you realize that they are praying.

I would not mind one bit of that was the face of the Republican party – people united in faith, sharing that faith with one another in peace and harmony. But that is not the face of the party on display on stage. It is a face I don’t recognize nor do I want to associate with. It is the face of anger, of exclusion, of resentment that has burst forth from the frustrations and slights endured by social conservatives for many years and is pouring out in a rush on national television.

This will go on for another 2 hours at least. Dobson will speak in about 1/2 an hour. I’ve been told that they expect an almost full house for his speech which Fox News reported is going to be very tough on the party and on secular conservatives.

So a very tense, angry crowd appears to be in no mood to compromise. And what was all love and roses last night is now fire and brimstone. How many will sympathize with the social cons and support them in their platform fight is one question. How many would be willing to vote for Mike Huckabee in a fractured, broken convention is quite another.

I’ll be back in a couple of hours with the climax of this fight.

UPDATE: 3:00 PM

Well, that cuts it.

The fix was in on this one all along. There was no way the party was going to commit suicide and present a blatantly bigoted party platform to the American people so basically, they “disappeared” the amendment down a rabbit hole and rammed through another one that simply reiterated what was said about marriage in the 2004 platform.

It’s the power of the chair that can make this kind of thing happen and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it. But it wasn’t a pretty sight and it may very well have fractured the party once and for all.

Dobson’s speech was like throwing nitroglycerin on a fire. In a nutshell, he believes the party has come under the influence of “evil forces.” (I guess he thinks himself too sophisticated to just come out say that the Devil has a hold of us.) He talked about intolerance of Christians. He spoke of the years that Christians have suffered in silence as their concerns have been given short shrift. He said that the party was in mortal danger of losing its soul unless it acknowledged that love between two people of the same sex was “unnatural.” Of course he didn’t actually say that but a five year old could grasp his meaning.

Meanwhile, the crowd was going nuts. Many were weeping. Many had both hands in the air drinking in “the spirit.” The ovation after he was done was long and heartfelt. And then, the railroading.

Before anyone knew what was happening, the chair recognized the delegate from New Jersey who asked that the amendment be tabled (or killed). No debate, no discussion, the chairman asked for the yeas and nays. The tactic caught the social cons by complete surprise. Even though there were plenty more “nays” shouted out than “yeas,” the chair announced that the ayes had it and the motion was tabled.

The pro-amendment crowd still didn’t know what was happening. They were only vaguely aware that they had just had the legs cut out from underneath them.

At this point, it is the custom for someone from the opposing side to ask for a roll call. It wouldn’t matter if that had happened because the chair relentlessly continued. Screaming into the microphone over the wailing objections from a dozen delegations, he recognized a delegate from Wyoming who asked for unanimous consent that the language in the 2004 platform on marriage be offered as a substitute. “Without objection, it is so ordered,” he shouted – despite the fact that not only was there objection but there was a danger right then and there of things exploding out of control.

These kind of strong arm tactics by the chair are not unknown to political conventions.But watching it happen in front of you is something else entirely. The chair gaveled the afternoon session to a close as at least 20 very angry people were screaming into their microphones for recognition and delegates in the aisles were pushing and shoving, trying to make their way to the stage. I saw many delegates sitting in chairs, looking lost and forlorn. They had been steamrolled and never had a chance.

Now what? The fallout from this will be grim. And whoever ends up the nominee, I don’t envy him the task of putting this party back together.

Back later with more.

UPDATE: 4:30 PM

As expected, there are many calls from the evangelical right to walk out of the convention. But not many from leaders like Dobson or Pat Robertson, who showed up on ABC and graciously forgave us our folly.

The reason a walkout won’t do anything that already hasn’t been done is because of alternate delegates who will simply take the place of the walkouts. The convention will go on, the damage already inflicted.

But there is much seething and anger is not far below the surface. Anything is possible.

Whatever happens is going to happen later. Allowing a few hours for passions to cool, the convention will now not reconvene until 7:00 PM tonight where the first order of business will be the speech by Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska. She’s the “anti-Hillary” face of the party and I understand is quite an effective speaker. Then the President of the United States will speak. The place will be packed with Bush partisans so I’m sure it will be a rouser.

And now for a change of pace – a little levity in the midst of the tenseness and emotion.

I’ve learned that conventions are fertile ground for all kinds of rumors. Earlier this afternoon, word was flying around the convention floor that Jeb Bush was going to announce his candidacy and that the President would deliver the nominating speech while George Bush #41 delivered the seconding speech. The idea was to stampede the convention to Jeb and give him a second ballot victory.

Apparently, CNN tracked down Jeb Bush who laughed a lot but didn’t deny it outright. Well that set the rumor mill churning even more until finally, George H.W. Bush granted Carl Cameron of Fox News an interview and squelched the idea right there. He denied everything and that was that.

Still, there’s a nagging thought at the back of my mind that the rumor could very well have been some kind of trial balloon. Perhaps not offered by the Bush’s directly but it is not impossible to think they weren’t aware of it. What feedback they got was pretty discouraging. People are pretty tired of the Bush’s right now and the prospect of another one at the head of the party doesn’t excite too many people.

I’ll have a short summary of the speeches later.

UPDATE: 11:00 PM

Back at home base – a considerably less crowded place. Evidently a dozen or more boarders at Ed’s place have found alternate housing. Good for them. Maybe I’ll find some floor space tonight to rest my weary head.

With Sarah Palin, I think you’ll agree with me that a star was born last night. She charmed the delegates with her humor and wit while uplifting the entire convention with her stirring stories of triumph by individuals over long odds. If it wasn’t likely that one of the Fab Five was going to be selected as Veep, that speech might have pushed Palin’s name toward the top of the list. As it is, she is definitely a rising star and someone to keep an eye on.

President George Bush came home last night. His approval ratings still only in the 30’s, the future of the economy uncertain, Iraq still taking two steps forward and one back – but it didn’t matter. He’s a Republican president and for many, that is enough. A covention trip is often a reward for party loyalty and the hall was full of party regulars and Bush loyalists.

One more night in the sun.

Indeed, he was interrupted by applause 19 times in a 45 minute speech. He mainly talked about the importance of a unified party, mixing in a defense of his policies. He was effective, as he has been in all his major addresses.

But for many of us, we were like ships passing in the night. Bush – for better or worse – is now part of history. His legacy will be a mixed one (certainly better than his unhinged critics give him credit for and not as good as his shameless apologists say it should be). He is handing his successor a plateful of problems – some of his own making. I don’t envy the guy who emerges from this scrum.

As the balloons came down signalling the end of the evening and the entire Bush clan stood on the stage basking in the warmth of the crowd’s applause, there were many of us, I’m sure, who were breathing a sigh of relief. The father-son Bush dynasty was not unique in American history; the Adams’ John and John Quincy preceded them. But there was 25 years between the two Adams Admininstrations while 8 short years seperated the two Bushs’. And crowded into the 20 years of a Bush presidency was perhaps more history than a country can bear to live through. The end of the cold war, the Gulf war, recession, the Clintons, 9/11, Iraq, and now a brokered convention.

I feel like we’ve been cursed with the old saw “May you live in interesting times.”