The more I read about this race the more convinced I am that John McCain should just go find a hole somewhere and hunker down until the slaughter is over. He doesn’t have a chance. It’s over. Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States and there’s nothing anyone anywhere can do to stop it.
Well…almost no one. I sent the following email to Diebold Corporation.
Dear Diebold:
It has become clear over these last few weeks that Barack Obama – a liberal Democrat – will win the presidency of the United States unless something is done to stop him. Naturally, since you guys control all the voting machines in the United States and are very adept at cheating on behalf of Republicans, I was wondering what you might be planning for this election?
Now don’t try and deny it. I can’t tell you how many liberal bloggers have proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you guys hacked into voting machines and gave the race to the Bushies back in 2004. Well…maybe there’s a shadow of doubt, but really, the proof is in the pudding. What American in their right mind would have voted for Bush against a war hero like Kerry? Besides, most of the lefties say they don’t know anyone who voted for Bush so of course, the game had to be rigged.
Anyway, I am writing to beg, to plead with you, to use all of your power, all of your connections, all of your vast technical expertise to steal this election for John McCain. I realize how hard it is when the vote will probably be a landslide for Obama but, hey! I’m sure you can see your way clear to stealing a couple or three million votes for McCain – in the right states of course – so that he comes out on top. Besides, if you spread them out properly, no one will be any the wiser.
I’m not much as far as hacking is concerned but if you need any help – you know, diversions and such where I engage the judges at precincts in conversation while the numbers go click, click, click for McCain while their backs are turned – I am offering my services no matter how limited my abilities.
Waiting anxiously for a reply,
A Patriot
P.S. Where the hell were you guys in 2006?
The whole thing might be moot anyway. I’ve read comments on some lefty blogs that wonder why we just can’t dump Bush now and put Obama in there. To hell with the election. Everyone knows he’s going to win anyway so why let Bush destroy what’s left of the country?
Sound arguments there but if we’re going to do that, why bother to make him simply “president.” We can come up with a better title than that. How about “God-King?” Or my favorite, “Lightwalker” (sounds like something from Star Wars, huh?). Except “Lightwalker” doesn’t convey quite the majesty and pompous arrogance we’re looking for. Let’s call him “Pro Consul” Obama. It will fit very nicely in headlines at the New York Times and MSNBC can do a nightly show “Pro Consul News” (except they already have Olbermann and Matthews doing that already).
At any rate, whenever Obama takes office – next week or on January 20, 2009 – it’s time to start making preparations for his ascension.
First thing we need is a good supply of Dramamine since every time Obama opens his holy throat, the earth moves. I don’t know about you but I get seasick rather easily and having the ground heaving and rolling in response to Obama’s golden tongued rhetoric, it would be too much like being on a Windjammer’s Cruise during hurricane season.
Second, we have to lay in a good supply of pepto bismal if we’re going to be reading the MSM for the next 8 years. I’ve already barfed all over my monitor more than once as a result of reading some of the encomiums that have spewed forth from formerly reputable media outlets. Think how bad it’s going to be after he wins. Jesus at the second coming would have a hard time topping the slavering devotion already shown toward Obama.
Finally, we need to buy a whole lot of whiskey – perhaps I should buy a distillery. The only way a rational human being is going to survive 8 years of doe eyed, kowtowing Obamamaniacs, mindless hero worship, self congratulatory back slapping, and the constant, excruciating, feel-good, “post partisan” unity rhetoric from the once and future messiah is to get and stay rip-roarin’, falling down, three sheets to the wind drunk.
That I can manage, no problem.
8:17 am
Don’t buy a distillery- the messiah will slap a windfall tax on you faster than you can say “three fingers, no ice”. I do hear that he’s partial to crack, at least he used to be, so maybe start growing some cocoa trees. The goverment can’t tax what ain’t legal.
9:40 am
[...] Rick Moran has a plan to survive the next 8 years. Guess I’ll have a head start on the last item; Drinking Right is tonight. [...]
9:46 am
It’s not that bad, Kevin. This “Obamassiah” b.s. will not be sustainable. I think we are looking at Mondale-type results in November.
9:46 am
Rick, I mean.
10:10 am
The media and libs are going to be in a real bind when everything goes to hell in a handbasket under the Messiah’s quest for a liberal utopia. Who are they going to blame it on? The all purpose Bush, who gets blamed for everything, will be in Crawford.
Don’t worry – the GOP blamed everything on Carter for 20 years. The Dems will do the same with Bush.
ed.
10:54 am
We could all just move to Mexico – reverse the flow so to speak!
And there are places in Mexico where—believe it or not—ENGLISH is the principal language!
Yes, Rick (or Kevin if you prefer) it is an Alice-In-Wonderland kind of world!
1:00 pm
Obamas’ greatest strengths are that he is very likable, has a strong-engaging presence and he is an efficacious public speaker. And, he has a solid campaign organization and a huge budget.
But, Obama is a 60’s style social activist with little national government experience. The only reason that he is the front runner is because the Republicans have the worst possible candidate, the eco-neocon McCain.
After 8 years of a president who can’t put three coherent sentences together, and compared to the stammering gaffe-a-minute self righteous McCain, Obama is a welcome speaker indeed.
1:03 pm
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsey were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe.
Beware the Jabberwock my sons, the jaws that bite and the claws that scratch!
Maybe Lewis had something here. A Jabberwocky president.
3:05 pm
Boy…..You really have some SERIOUS issues….What is so bad about Unity? What is so bad about desiring to care? What is so bad about being fair and balanced? What is so bad with CHANGE?
Now….being the enlightend individual that I am I understand in this world of divine dichotmy you have to have one, in order to have the other…..that being said I realize that there will always be ppl of limited “in the box” thinking so that there may be those of us who are able to Think “outside” the box…..
With that I say Thank You….Thank you for being willing to display your fears and scared thoughts…..Without you I would not KNOW WHO I AM
God Bless
OBAMA08/12
I have no problem with any of that. Just give me a candidate who can deliver on those issues and not some naive, empty suited lefty reject from the 1960’s.
The problem sir, is not me. It is you – you who have been completely taken in by a snake oil salesman with no experience, no track record – absolutely NOTHING in his background that would lead any sane, rational human being to believe he could accomplish what he says he wants to.
He is a fake. A charlatan. And in about 2 years when you realize it, don’t be too hard on him. Be hard on yourself for being such an idiot to believe him.
ed.
3:39 pm
Buzzard,
Do you REALLY believe Obama is about unity? Name one truly bipartisan issue that he has been willing to compromise on- what, none? Do you really believe he cares? Ask his political mentor, that he backstabbed in his first run at the IL state legislature, ask his white granny, even ask his spiritual mentor that he threw under the bus (after first saying that he could no more disown him than he could the black community). Fair and balanced? Ask Jack Ryan, who Obama’s surrogates sued to have his private divorce records released to the media in the runup to the Senatorial election in 2004.
If you want to worship your candidate, go ahead, but don’t delude yourself into believing that he is any different than the worst sort of classical Chicago politician. I personally think its sad and pathetic. Does a thrill go up your leg when he speaks?
4:49 pm
How about “Light-talker”?
Don’t panic. He’s not in the White House yet. Remember how Beaver Cleaver would deal with the situation – keep your eyes on the floor, volunteer no information, and maybe something will happen.
And even if he gets in, Obama is going to have to pay off a lot of old friends and, in doing so, will make an awful lot of new enemies. Messiahs tend to be crucified.
4:55 pm
Historic campaign also most expensive for Secret Service…
The Secret Service, mindful of the historic presidential candidacy of Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., and…
5:38 pm
DrKrbyLuv, surely you know someone who is a protologist. Make an appointment. You desparately need help with your Anal/cranial Disorder.
5:50 pm
Rick, you said, in part, to Blizzard:
Two years? You give Democrats far too much credit. It took them almost Bush’s entire two terms and Hillary Clinton’s primary campaign to realize the Clintons actually lie. It will take them far longer than two years to realize Obama is a political quack.
8:18 pm
Love him or Hate him, Obama’s the man.
4:39 am
[...] He doesn??t have a chance. It??s over. Barack Obama will be the next president of the United Stathttp://rightwingnuthouse.com/archives/2008/06/10/preparing-for-an-obama-presidency/Israeli leadership to debate course on Hamas AP via Yahoo! News Israel’s top leaders will debate [...]
11:29 am
retire05: (response to Post 13)
You have your head so far up your arse that everything is starting to look like an anal fixation.
1:08 am
RO5: Hi, you got that wrong!
DrKrbyLuv suffers from Rectal-Cranial INVERSION; which is obvious, since he is in the tank for the Maxist-Muslim Obama, who practices “Taqiyah” on a daily basis!
DrKrbyLuv, I heard you just applied for the position of “Urinal Cake Taster” with the Obama Campaign, good luck with that, its the only position you’re qualified for!