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3/21/2006
OF TURF BUILDING AND CARVING OUT KINGDOMS
CATEGORY: "24"

The turf war shaping up between the bureaucrats at CTU and the Department of Homeland Security in the show may seem petty and even a little bizarre, what with 19 cannisters of nerve gas about to be released on an unsuspecting public. But the fact that such maneuvering takes place even in real life illustrates just one of the reasons the intelligence services of the United States are so dysfunctional.

The 9/11 Commission found numerous examples of jealous bureaucrats at the FBI and the CIA guarding their turf not against terrorists but against each other. Even within those organizations, there was friction between counter-terrorism and law enforcement (here and overseas) as the CIA lost track of several of the 9/11 terrorists and then failed to put them on a domestic watch list. FBI agents in Minneapolis and Phoenix pleaded with their superiors on numerous occasions to take note of terrorists at flight schools. Instead of paying heed, Washington had the local offices of the FBI agents in question try and stifle the investigations by making life difficult for the agents.

This behavior can be explained only in the context of “channels” that careerists at the nation’s intelligence agencies are slaves to. Only by following procedure and not “rocking the boat” can one advance. This attitude punishes originality, faults thinking outside the box, and penalizes independent action.

This is not to say that most employees at our intelligence agencies aren’t dedicated, patriotic, hard working public servants, many of whom place their lives on the line for our country. What it indicates is a sick culture, a working atmosphere that rewards playing it safe and rarely punishes mistakes no matter how large.

Former Director of Central Intelligence George Tenet may have been the most spectacularly unsuccessful DCIA in history, missing as he did 9/11, Saddam’s lack of WMD, downplaying Iraqi ties to al Qaeda (which we are now finding out were much more extensive than the CIA said they were), and underestimating the Iranian nuclear program. Instead of being fired, President Bush allowed him to retire and then gave him a Congressional Gold Medal.

Is it any wonder our intel services need an overhaul?

As for as the CTU-DHS war, one need only look at what Congressional investigators have pointed out was the mistake of folding FEMA into DHS and the subsequent problems with Katrina assistance. A case can be made that FEMA should never have assumed the role of disaster nanny in the first place. But the fact that states had come to rely on the agency as a first responder (even though that was never its mission) only points up the consequences of DHS turf building.

The DHS representative has let on that she doesn’t plan on taking over CTU completely until the crisis is over. That won’t stop her or her assistant Miles from probably making a hash of CTU’s efforts to stop the terrorists. Muscling in on someone else’s turf is a time honored tradition in bureaucracies – even when the stakes are so high.

SUMMARY

We discover that the woman in the hotel room who promised Bierko the schematics is one Collette Stenger, described as an “International Intelligence Broker.” I’d love to see her business card: “Serving the terrorist community since 1999…” After one last leer at her mystery lover, she leaves the hotel to meet Bierko after informing lover boy that she will be at the airport in 45 minutes.

At the ranch, Vice President Strangelove asks Jellyfish if he has any second thoughts about declaring martial law. He does, especially after Martha works him over one last time trying to get him to change his mind. Too late – Logan appears before the cameras and announces a “curfew” for Los Angeles starting immediately. The press sees through the fiction and even Fox News is calling it martial law. The negative reaction has Jellyfish outraged as his political foes are “debating” whether or not the action is legal. I wonder which party the writers are talking about when we have some politicians trying to score political points with the nation under attack? Duh.

Whether you believe martial law was necessary is not the point. Debate later. Even impeach later. For the immediate crisis, swallow your doubts and keep your yap shut, especially when you don’t have the information that the President does. Of course, we can see that martial law is a ploy by Strangelove but the bitching politicians don’t know that. Best for the country if everyone holds their fire until the crisis is over, then go ballistic if you want to.

At CTU, Grandma Hayes shows up with her sleazeball assistant Miles (who played the gay guy that Bruce Willis used and then murdered in The Jackal). Miles immediately endears himself to all of us when he casually orders Chloe to set up a workstation for him where Fat Geek Edgar used to sit. The look Chloe gave him would have melted the CTU mainframe.

Agent Pierce (who finally has a decent role after 5 years of faithful service both to the executive branch of government and Fox television) gets a call from Wayne Palmer who asks to meet the agent clandestinely. Wayne has obviously uncovered some more information from his dead brothers computer files and needs to tell someone. Why Pierce? Evidently the writers needed some way to get Aaron involved in the plot and this seemed as good as an excuse as any.

Jellyfish is getting antsy about the political fallout from his rather draconian security measures but Strangelove assures him that “I’m in control of the situation.” Mike’s ears prick up at that announcement although one wonders why he should be surprised. It’s becoming pretty clear that President Jellyfish will soon be supplanted by the Vice President either through some kind of trickery or maybe even assassination.

Collette shows up at Bierko’s terrorist hideout and shows that she has dealt with many a murderous thug in the past by handing over the schematics only after getting her money. It appeared that Bierko was torn about whether or not to kill her. The fact that the email confirmation showed that she received $10 million for the information made it bad business to off the dark haired beauty.

We discover that the plans are for a “distribution center” with the target a residential area. There is only one possible explanation: The terrorists are going to flood the gas lines with nerve gas. And as Sue pointed out to me, the fact that martial law has been declared means that everybody will be at home, thus raising the body count dramatically.

Could such an attack succeed in real life? I’d be interested if someone could figure out how many parts per million would get into a household from 18 cannisters of nerve gas and whether it would be enough to kill 200,000 people. Remember, not everyone has a gas appliance so you would have to figure that the nerve toxin would have to hit something like 75,000 homes.

Meanwhile, CTU is on the trail of Collette thanks to some geek magic by Chloe who hacked Henderson’s hard drive to find her name. Jack and Curtis take a TAC team to the hotel only to find Collette’s lover Tio who, although appearing to be Italian (and with an Italian sounding name), actually works for German intelligence. Tio refuses to help Jack having spent 6 months undercover bedding down the gorgeous intelligence broker in order to uncover her networks. The fact that it was a two month job evidently has not crossed the minds of Tio’s clueless superiors.

Jack tries to tell the love struck spy what’s at stake:

JACK: If we don’t find Bierko, hundreds of thousands of people will die here today. That is more important than your “pre-emptive” operation.

TIO: It is not a question of importance. It’s a question of different agendas. Your job is to save American lives. Mine, German lives. You’re asking me to betray my duty to my country. Ask yourself what you would do in my position.

JACK: You better start asking yourself what you would do in mine. (Leading him away) Let’s go.

TIO: I’m here with the permission of your government! You can’t touch me!

JACK: Riiiiiiight.

After telling Curtis to take a hike, Jack gets down to business telling the German agent that he will give the NSA’s “wet list” of terrorists around the world if he helps CTU get Collette. Tio eagerly agrees (perhaps hoping that he will be sent on another plum assignment where he gets to screw some terrorist babe). After a little tomfoolery, Chloe gets her keycard back from Miles and hacks the NSA database through a backdoor and downloads the wet list to Jack’s PDA. Tio, Jack, and Curtis head to the airport to meet Collette.

Back at the ranch, Wayne is stopped at a checkpoint and is cleared through only after Strangelove and his assistant give the okay. The fact that Wayne is later run off the road by men intent on killing him reveals that either Strangelove himself or his assistant is working for the traitors at the Department of Defense. Wayne barely survives and runs off into the night with his would be assassins in hot pursuit.

After getting caught red handed by Miles, Chloe informs Bill and Grandma Hayes that she gave Jack one of the most classified secrets of the American government. Why? “Because Jack wanted it.” Bill goes ballistic and poor Chloe for once is rendered speechless. Grandma gives the okay to continue the operation reluctantly and only because Collette has arrived at the airport. Once identified, the woman is expertly captured by the TAC team and like all terrorist small fry, knows the drill perfectly; she asks for immunity from Jack who, given any other context, would be considered soft on crime so many times he has granted immunity to terrorists.

Tio tries to download the wet list into the German intelligence files but instead, hears a strange voice coming from the device: “This card will self-destruct in 5 seconds. Good luck, fool.” Jack is nice enough to call Tio immediately after the meltdown and assure him that he will help “rebuild his investigation.” Who wouldn’t given the fringe benefits.

In exchange for immunity, Collette can offer only the name of her contact who sold her the schematics. The person works at the Department of Defense. And we discover that it is not a “he” but a “she.”

Were you surprised she blurted out the name Audrey Raines? I must confess that I was indeed shocked, the first real slam-bang jolt of the season. The obvious question would be is it, in fact, true? Can Audrey really be the traitor?

The idea that she could be bought is nonsense. But working with Vice President Gardener and the other traitors thinking that she was doing the right thing? Not impossible. Improbable, yes. But don’t worry, Jack will beat it out of her I’m sure.

BODY COUNT

The Grim Reaper took the night off.

UPDATE Long time House reader Hector informs me that Grandma Hayes mentioned that 56 CTU employees bit the dust in the nerve gas attack. Since I only used the figure 55 (given by Bill) we will add one more to the show’s blood total.

JACK: 15

SHOW: 143

SPECULATION

Is Gardener the main man in the conspiracy or is there someone behind him? Is Gardener involved at all? Could it be Gardener’s assistant acting as a mole and the Vice President just an innocent boob?

If Audrey is involved, might not her father also be a player? And if Audrey is not involved, why set her up? Are the traitors trying to throw Jack off the scent? Collette must realize that if she’s lying about Audrey, her immunity deal is kaput. If that’s the case, then even Collette has been misdirected for purposes unclear at this point.

Or, Audrey is a terrorist loving, traitorous bitch. Which is it fans?

UPDATE

First, make sure you stop by Blogs4Bauer and catch up on all the news, speculation, and funnies from last night’s show.

Then come back here and let ‘er rip in the comments about whether or not you think Audrey is really a traitor.

And what’s with Michelle Malkin? I’m surprised to see Michelle have time for anything outside of taking care of her family and writing so the fact that she has now confessed an obsession with Prison Break comes as something of a shock. But the real shocker is her taunting of Jack Bauer. Has she no clue of the consequences of dissing Jack? Those two losers from Prison Break would make a fine midday snack for Jack who, if Michelle is unaware, is an equal opportunity torturer, administering pain in equally large doses to women and men.

Standing up to moonbats is one thing. Standing up to Jack…?

She’s braver than I thought.

By: Rick Moran at 8:20 am
27 Responses to “OF TURF BUILDING AND CARVING OUT KINGDOMS”
  1. 1
    Bob Swagger Said:
    8:57 am 

    No, Audrey is not a knowing accomplice to the baddies because … well, just because. I’m not a big Audrey fan. I want Jack to go back to co-habing w/ “blue-collar Betty” and Derek. But “Greg Sumner’s” daughter simply wouldn’t betray her country. Audrey is being set-up by the evil Veep.

    I fear that my 2nd favorite “24” character of all time – Aaron – will not survive the next 11 hours. I can see him making the ultimate sacrifice to save either Crazy Martha or Jack in the final climactic showdown.

    The “moment” in last night’s show was Chloe’s welcoming line to Granny Hayes’ stooge … “I didn’t ask who you worked for. I asked who you are.” and then she shot him the “Chloe glare”.

    Before Granny Hayes, wasn’t there another she-boss at CTU in an earlier season that didn’t mesh really well w/ Jack?

    Collette IS a mega-hottie. Am I the only one who sensed she was hoping Jack would “get rough” to force the intell out of her?

  2. 2
    10ksnooker Said:
    8:58 am 

    I detect a huge interagency fumble coming up …

  3. 3
    Hector Said:
    8:58 am 

    Did you catch when Grandma Hayes stated that CTU lost 56 persons in the gas attack?

  4. 4
    Midwest Prognosticator » Kinder More Gentle 24 Pinged With:
    9:26 am 

    [...] The Right Wing Nuthouse is back with another thorough 24 commentary and summery. [...]

  5. 5
    Publius Said:
    9:39 am 

    I assume “Tio” is actually Theo, which would be a German name, though I guess his British accent (explained by his time with MI6?) is as likely as Bierko’s British accent, and his guy’s Ruskie ones.

    Why would anyone get upset about martial law in LA? Didn’t they have that happen a few seasons ago? And didn’t Pres. Bush deploy the 82nd Airborne and National Guard there during the riots?

    Not sure if Audrey was set up, but as it was pointed out before, Robocop talked to some woman on the phone about what Jack knew before he tried to blow him up.

    And how convoluted is the plot that the VP would have had to be in on? They planned to send the nerve gas to Russia, detonate it there, but that was really all a diversion knowing that Bierko would find it, and then try and blackmail the US and launch it on LA?

  6. 6
    Misha I Said:
    9:42 am 

    Er, the Kraut’s name is “Theo”, a quite German name, not “Tio.” They sound the same in English, though (since the “h” is silent), hence the confusion.

    Is Audrey a traitor? Improbable. It’s far more likely that she was duped, thinking that she was doing something else when she handed over the info to Colette. Still, anything’s possible.

  7. 7
    Rick Moran Said:
    9:44 am 

    Okay…so, it’s THEO -

    He still looks about as German as my French poodle.

  8. 8
    Geoff Said:
    10:34 am 

    Jack already did a Prision Break. Only took him an hour.

  9. 9
    Geoff Said:
    11:40 am 

    The distribution of Centox via natural gas will work if Centox is not harmed in the combustion process of natural gas. It would then spew from every hot water heater vent that received the tainted gas and slowly build up it’s concentration in the city. LA being a basin, it would be like smog and stay there. Other gas fired things (industrial furnaces and heaters) would also add to the concentration but I think water heaters being so common would be a major source.

  10. 10
    sue Said:
    11:51 am 

    when the pda burned up the thought occured to me that if they kill jack off it could be theo who does him in. he’s not going to forget or forgive what jack did to him and after jack survives everything else theo will show up and take him out.

    and i’m very curious about what wayne palmer has in his hot little hands. and the veep is very odd looking. i have always thought so and his receding hairline makes him a bit more so. his looks suit his character.

    if audrey cooperated with the terrorists my first thought was that they are threatening her with something, maybe taking out her dad. or, she’s had an affair with someone in the administration who is also in on it. (walt? the veep????. . .) or does she want to get back at jack?

    curiouser and curiouser.

  11. 11
    The LLama Butchers Trackbacked With:
    12:30 pm 

    “THE GRIM REAPER TOOK THE NIGHT OFF…”

    What if they had an episode of 24 and nobody got whacked? Apparently we found out last night. Right Wing Nut House has the review as only the Right Wing Nut House can do. You can catch up on the…

  12. 12
    caltechgirl Said:
    12:40 pm 

    I suspect the reason Wayne Palmer went to Pierce is that Pierce was David Palmer’s most trusted agent and his go-to guy. He probably figured Pierce could be trusted to not be a bad guy since his brother trusted him.

  13. 13
    Arthur Said:
    1:25 pm 

    > And how convoluted is the plot that the VP would have had to be in on? They planned to send the nerve gas to Russia, detonate it there, but that was really all a diversion knowing that Bierko would find it, and then try and blackmail the US and launch it on LA?

    Not as convoluted as last years where they tried to melt down 113 reactors so they could shoot down air force one so they could steal the “football” so they could find and steal ONE nuke and launch it towards Los Angeles.
    But this season isn’t over yet. It has time to match the convolution level of s4.

  14. 14
    John Runyon Said:
    3:42 pm 

    It seems to me there is a paucity of help and security for the president. Mike, Strangelove, and the First Lady… I know this is fiction, but if this was the real thing, wouldn’t the President be in the air—-flying situation room and all of that, I’m thinking that the Secret Service would insist… At a minimum, since he happens to be in the same county as 1)an Assassination of a former president, 2)a Terrorist attack on an airport, 3) a nerve gas attack on a mall, 4) an attemped attack on a Hospital, 5) a succussful attack on a government high security building and so on, at a minimum shouldn’t he be in a safe room…I know suspend belief…P.S. under the circumstances would the VP and POTUS be at the same place… within an easy commute of ground zero so to speak, I say since Strangelove is so confident, publicly assign him as the on-scene commander and hit the sky…

  15. 15
    Below The Beltway Trackbacked With:
    4:57 pm 

    Can Jack Bauer Trust Anyone ?

    When we last left Jack Bauer, he was holding a dying Tony Almeida in his arms. By the end of last night’s episode, Jack had yet another rug pulled out from under him when a source revealed the apparent involvement of Audrey Raines, a co-worker a …...

  16. 16
    Badge 2211 Said:
    7:19 pm 

    Theo might’ve looked “light,” but he did get the jump on Jack who committed the cardinal sin of losing his weapon.

    Jack’s on the fly reprogramming of his PDA chip was so amazing that I missed it.

    I don’t know, but man, how sorry is the Secret Service when a black team of assassins are running loose within the Presidential compound’s perimeter. Soldiers with heavy weapons intimidate Wayne Palmer but can’t detect the speeding, careening and not so quiet ninjas. Great.

  17. 17
    diamond Said:
    9:36 pm 

    Damn, my head is spinning, who’s the baddies, who’s to be trusted, maybe Jack set up Audrey, could of happened. Jack has gone crazy after seeing his little girl and realizing that she is a loon that he raised. Even Jack posted here last week that he feels that there is something missing in his daughter’s being, that she is numb and cold to others around her, has Jack gone off the deep end with his guilt for lousy parent skills! hummmm. Other wise, I haven’t a clue as to whats what and where they go from here.
    BUT, would like to see Wayne survie and be a bigger part of 24. Yep, I know he has made mistakes and his brother protected him too much, could he grow up and be a senator with a drinking problem in the futher?

  18. 18
    Agent Jack Bauer Said:
    9:41 pm 

    IF YOU GUYS KEEP THIS UP I WILL BE FORCED TO GO “DARK” AND STAY THAT WAY FOR HOURS. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER, AUDREY A SPY, DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH, SHE IS A TENDER LITTLE SWEETIE!

    THERE WILL NOT BE A RELEASE OF POISON GAS INTO HOMES IN L.A. ON MY WATCH. WELL REALLY IT’S NOT MY WATCH, I’M ON LOAN, FOR THE TIME BEING.

    I hope I get a pay check for this days work

  19. 19
    Jo Said:
    9:43 pm 

    Thanks sweetie … we had a major thunderstorm come through and I missed all but 10 minutes hiding out in the bathroom listening to the nasty wind going by; and the station was out most of that time.

    As for Audrey, remember back when Jack got the thumb drive from Nathinson (sp) and Chloe had to get the DOD decryption codes from Audrey? Rat? Hmmm We’ll see.

  20. 20
    The MaryHunter Said:
    10:52 pm 

    Spot on observation, Arthur. So amazingly bizarre when you step back a minute and look at last season’s gross plotline. What will be the other shoe(s) to drop this season?

    Lemme venture a bit: I’m still waiting for the Chinese to enter the fray. Did they set up Audrey to get back at Jack? Do they own the veep? (We know from Clinton/Gore just how easily they can buy influence, intel, technology,...) And besides, they’re about the last non-Muslim nation left that’s an “enemy” with which the writers could feel safe lobbing hateful bigotted stereotypes at. (LOL)

    Audrey MUST have been set up. Despite that nose, she’s just too, too… special.

  21. 21
    eric Said:
    12:05 am 

    The Vice President is the same man who murdered his daughter, Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks. What else do we need to know?

  22. 22
    Geoff Said:
    12:18 am 

    With all the computer hacking hijinx that go on I can see somebody impersonating Audrey. Call it identity theft. I don’t recall Collete saying she met the person calling herself Audrey in person.

    Logan may not want to go anywhere near Airforce 1 during a terror attack after what happened to President Keeler. Logan likes bunkers best IIRC.

    The real enemy will turnout to be the VP who is actually “Killer Bob”. We will know for sure when the first lady turns up “Wrapped in Plastic”

  23. 23
    Geoff Said:
    12:26 am 

    While I was typing I see eric beat me to the punch about Ray Wise having played Leland Palmer.

  24. 24
    eric Said:
    12:33 am 

    That’s ok Jeff, I didn’t remember his name was ‘Leland’ – I’ll give ya that one. I can’t think of anything else he’s been in though.

  25. 25
    The MaryHunter Said:
    4:04 pm 

    Nuts, I’d noticed the Palmer/veep connection weeks ago but failed to comment. Can I sue yous guyz for intellectual property infringement? :D

    But hey, think about it: President Palmer (dead), Laura Palmer (dead) ... veep was a Palmer... :shock: Waiting for Kyle MacLachlan to make a cameo, then my day will be m.a.d.e.

  26. 26
    Alexandra Said:
    4:27 pm 

    Rick,

    I am totally hooked, a long standing Jack Bauer fan. Best series ever.

    But i can’t do the drip feeding, it’s too stressful, and it brings out that “to the right of Genghis Khan” trait in my personality when the “and in the next episode…” comes. I have to be in control of that with the DVD, otherwise I get real nasty.

    So I pop over here to say hello to my old friend Rick, and what do I see “When we last left Jack Bauer, he was holding a dying Tony Almeida in his arms.” Thanks Doug (Below The Beltway), we used to be friends….LOL!

  27. 27
    nstrdnvstr Said:
    10:36 am 

    So if the centox gas can be burned up and rendered harmless, wouldn’t it get burned up in the homes at the water heater, gas stove, etc.? Wouldn’t it only be released where there were significant gas leaks? And then if the gas pressure was reduced to 50%, wouldn’t those leaks be less likely to happen?

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