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2/16/2005
“USS KILLER RABBIT”
CATEGORY: General

What’s next? The “USS Chicken Hawk?”

WASHINGTON (NNS)—The Navy will commission its newest nuclear-powered attack submarine Jimmy Carter on Saturday, Feb. 19, during an 11 a.m. EST ceremony at Naval Submarine Base New London, Groton, Conn.

The attack submarine Jimmy Carter honors the 39th president of the United States.

This is really embarrassing. It’s like the Russians naming an Alcoholic Rehabilitation clinic after Boris Yeltsin. It’d be like the French naming an Aircraft Carrier ” The Courageous.”

I can see our enemies quaking in their boots now…

“Look out! Here comes the Jimmy Carter! HIDE YOUR RABBITS! HIDE YOUR RABBITS!”

Arguably the worst President of the 20th Century, (some would say the worst in 100 years) Jimmy Carter has distinguished himself since being unceremoniously kicked out of office by coddling dictators like Castro, enabling tyrants like Chavez, and acting as cheerleader for some of the most murderous cutthroats of the age including Yassar Arafat, Kim Jung Il, and Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe.

Carter’s term in office was marked by one the strangest episodes in the history of the Presidency. It involved a swamp rabbit, a canoe, and our brave President wielding a paddle as a weapon.

Here’s how Carter’s former Press Secretary Jody Powell recalled the incident:

... the President volunteered the information that while fishing in a pond on his farm he had sighted a large animal swimming toward him. Upon closer inspection, the animal turned out to be a rabbit. Not one of your cutesy, Easter Bunny-type rabbits, but one of those big splay-footed things that we called swamp rabbits when I was growing up.

The animal was clearly in distress, or perhaps berserk. The President confessed to having had limited experience with enraged rabbits. He was unable to reach a definite conclusion about its state of mind. What was obvious, however, was that this large, wet animal, making strange hissing noises and gnashing its teeth, was intent upon climbing into the Presidential boat.

The President then evidently shooed the critter away from his boat with a paddle. The scene was captured on film by a White House photographer.

This was the most aggressive action ever taken by the Carter Presidency. Some speculated that if the rabbit had continued its attack, Carter would have backed down.

And we’re naming a nuclear powered attack boat after this guy?

By: Rick Moran at 9:31 am
7 Responses to ““USS KILLER RABBIT””
  1. 1
    NIF Trackbacked With:
    9:40 am 

    One week later than last Wednesday
    Today’s Dose of NIF

  2. 2
    Drew Said:
    9:50 am 

    I guessed that the next thing would be the Aircraft Carrier Lyndon Johnson.

  3. 3
    kimberly Said:
    12:03 pm 

    I know. It just seems so wrong to name anything having to do with defense after Jimmy Carter. While his post POTUS service to this country has been honorable in terms of Habitat for Humanity, he was not a successful president by any stretch of the imagination. He was quite possibly the worst president of the 20th century. How does that rate having a battle ship named after you? Color me seriously confused.

  4. 4
    Simply Kimberly Trackbacked With:
    1:02 pm 

    An Attack Submarine?
    What The … ?

    Via: Day By Day Cartoon

  5. 5
    cw Said:
    2:25 pm 

    How about just giving the man the respect that the government is giving him since he did serve as our President. I don’t think you would hear, or have ever heard, anyone asking why we didn’t call the USS Kennedy the USS Screwed M.Monroe, or the USS Reagan the USS Jelly Bean. Why? Because most people have respect for someone who led their country, regardless of how shitty a job they did. Name calling is just infantile.

  6. 6
    Rauk Said:
    4:23 pm 

    I wonder what they will name after GW.
    ...a choke safe pretzel?

  7. 7
    Right Wing Nut House » THE WAY WE WERE: Politics served up with a smile... And a stilletto. Pinged With:
    3:14 pm 

    [...] ARVIN’S MUSINGSCHANGE YOUR CLOCKSA RIPPLE IN THE PONDPRE-WAR WMD FOUND!LIFE ON MARS…TODAY“USS KILLER RABBIT

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