“I’ll live to see you – all of you – hung from the highest yardarm in the British fleet.”
(Captain William Bligh from the 1935 version of Mutiny on the Bounty)
It’s mutiny I tell you, mutiny!
With Curtis doing his best imitation of Fletcher Christian, the gang at CTU does what it has to do to prevent the assassination of the Suburovs and the President’s wife.
But were they right?
The thing about mutinies – whether they be on the high seas or in the offices of a government counter-terrorism unit – is that there are two sides to every insurrection. There is much to be said against usurping the authority of the person in charge in a crisis situation just as there is a good case to be made that the Fat Hobbit cracked under the stress of the moment. In the case of the HMS Bounty, the British Navy sent a frigate to fetch back the mutineers in Tahiti where they had settled after making a new home for themselves. Most of the crew who took part in the revolt got away but 10 crewmen were hauled back to England, tried in an Admiralty Court, and three were found guilty and hung. Bligh himself was court martialed (after returning to England following an heroic 1500 mile voyage with 18 crewmen in a raft) and was eventually acquitted.
In CTU’s case, McGill’s abrasiveness and his myopia that prevented him from seeing the threat to the motorcade was exacerbated by his recognition that several members of his staff were doing something behind his back. It could be argued that he brought the conspiracy on himself by ordering Jack back to CTU headquarters but remember, he was acting under President Jellyfish’s orders. In short, the CTU conspiracy was probably necessary but I doubt a jury would see it that way. The gang should have swallowed their doubts and played ball with the Hobbit. He was the only one with the big picture and for all they knew, was doing the right thing. At the very least, they never gave him the benefit of that doubt which made their effort to overthrow him seem more about personality than it actually was.
If I were Audrey, Fat Geek Edgar, Chloe, and Curtis, I’d get myself a crackerjack lawyer and be prepared for the worst. Unless they can prove that the Fat Hobbit was as loony as a June bug when they relieved him, they may live to regret their little re-enactment of Mutiny on the Bounty.
When last we left the quivering mass of jello who passes himself off as President of the United States, he was making a deal with the terrorists not to release the nerve gas on American soil in exchange for passing along the route of the Russian President’s motorcade. Being enormously pleased with himself at his cave in to the jihadists, Jellyfish speculates how they can turn the assassination of the Russian President into a political plus.
That is, until he finds out that Nutzo Martha took it upon herself to try and make her husband do the right thing by climbing into the limo with the Suburovs. Furious, he calls his wife and orders her out of the car. Martha, despite her fear, hangs in there, still believing that somewhere in that pusillanimous pile of dog crap and silly putty, a President is aching to get out.
Can’t wait for their first face to face moment when she gets back to the ranch. I feel another “Chief Brody moment” coming on. Only this time, I hope she closes her fist when she hits him.
Back at CTU, Audrey widens the conspiracy against the Hobbit by pulling Fat Geek Edgar into it. While Audrey and Chloe try to hack Omicron’s mainframe in order to insert a cover story for Jack so he can see Henderson, the lovestruck Edgar returns to his station to cover for Chloe.
The Hobbit, in the meantime, continues his descent into Mount Doom, breathing fire and snorting like an oliphant. He fires a cute girl who was just doing her job (and who also may be another mole) and threatens to sack Edgar because he sticks up for her. Noticing the absence of Chloe, he starts his search for the missing strawberries .
Jack enters Omicron using his fake identity expertly inserted by Chloe who employs some of her renowned geek magic. He is there to see an old friend, Chris Henderson. I’m informed by one of my expert commenters JPD that Henderson was a character in Season 1 who was accused by Jack of selling secrets to defense contractors. We know from past experience that once a bad guy, always a bad guy so we’re prepared to hate Henderson even if he is played by one of the greatest characters ever invented, Buckaroo Banzai. A scientist, rockstar, and humanitarian Banzai (played by Peter Weller) was also the star of his own comic book and had a fan club “The Blue Blazer Irregulars.”
Gotta love him.
Jack makes it into Omicron and, after getting Audrey to help him get rid of Henderson’s receptionist (whose shirt was just a little too tight, don’t ya think? ) creeps into the office only to have Buckaroo Banzai taser him into unconsciousness.
How did Buckeroo know that it was Jack coming to see him? By Jove, someone must have called and told him! Indeed, after doing a song and dance with Jack, pretending to help him, Mr. Banzai locks Jack in a bunker with a very large bomb. As he is leaving the bunker, he is on the phone with a female whose voice is slightly distorted so that we can’t ID her? Is it Kerri, the woman fired by the Hobbit? Is it – dare I say it – Audrey? Please recall that the chip Nathanson gave to Jack before he died was formatted to be read only by DoD hardrives. And who works for DoD?
The daughter of the Secretary of Defense, Jack’s former lover, and the woman with the ugliest nose in Christendom, Audrey Raines.
The Hobbit’s troubles start to mount as Fat Geek Edgar illegally wiretaps the terrorists and discovers that they’re about to attack the motorcade. (The terrorists are in this country and have every right to an expectation of privacy. Intercepting their plans to kill 35 people and start an international incident that might lead to a world war takes second place to protecting their constitutional rights, even if they are foreigners. Do I make myself clear?)
Dismissing the report in his maniacal focus on finding the nerve gas, the Hobbit starts to worry Curtis. And the CTU agent, being a man of action, starts to look at Lynn not as a cute, chubby little Shireling but more like a cave troll who is out of control.
Waylaying Curtis in the hallway, Audrey starts a typical watercooler conversation with the burly agent…you know, let’s overthrow the tyrant Lynn and bring back Bill who is still languishing in exile in the holding room. Curtis promises to think about “Section 112” (which all Star Trek fans are familiar with as the club that Enterprise doctors hold over their captains when they start to go off the rails) while Audrey goes to plot the denouement to the conspiracy – hacking the Fat Hobbit’s computer account to warn the Secret Service about the imminent attack on the motorcade.
Back at the ranch, Jellyfish has finally dissolved after accepting the fact that Martha is probably toast. And in a scene straight out of Woodward and Bernstein’s The Final Days which tells the story of the last hours of the Nixon Presidency, Logan asks Novik to kneel with him and pray. Nixon did the same thing with Kissinger when he was trying to find the strength to leave the White House. In the case of Jellyfish, the moment came off stilted and out of character, especially for Mike.
At CTU, the unfolding drama of the coup d’etat reaches a peak as the Hobbit finds out what Audrey, Chloe, and Fat Geek Edgar are trying to do behind his back. His triumph in finding the strawberries is shortlived. Arresting the two CTU employees and ordering Audrey out of the building, Lynn suddenly finds his authority evaporating faster than a brace of conies at dinner time when Curtis refuses to comply:
HOBBIT: (To the guards) Why are you hesitating? I gave you and order. NOW DO IT!
GUARD: (Looks at Lynn. Looks at Curtis. Back at Lynn.)
GUARD: (To Curtis) What would you like me to do Mr. Manning?
CURTIS: Lynn McGill, I’m relieving you under the Capacity Clause of Section 112.
HOBBIT: You will do no such thing.
CURTIS: Take him away.
HOBBIT: You can’t do that! (To guard) He can’t do that. Don’t touch me! This is an unjustifiable usurpation of my authority, you hear me? We’re in the middle of a crisis. (Being led away) There are going to be repercussions! Everyone involved is going to face prosecution!
Being released from custody, Bill takes charge immediately. After reinstating the possible mole Kerri, he informs the Secret Service and the President of the plot on the motorcade. Just in time, Agent Pierce gets the word and orders the motorcade to turn around. Too late! The terrorists attack and despite a direct hit by an
RPG, anti-tank missile, the limo and its occupants survive. With Aaron’s help, the attack is thwarted but only just barely. One wonders what Martha and the Suburovs are thinking at this point. Look for the Russian President to put two and two together and blame Jellyfish anyway.
After leaving Jack to die in the bunker, Buckaroo stupidly forgot to lock up the root cellar. What’s that? No root cellar in a top secret, secured bunker? When has that ever stopped our hero?
Of course Jack survives which is very bad news for Henderson who soon will feel the extent of Jack’s wrath.
And Bierko the terrorist calls Jellyfish and tells him once again, that America is on the terrorist’s clock. And time is ticking away.
Jack was shut out this week but, good news! I counted 10 dead at the mall but Jack was kind enough to inform us that the actual death toll was 11 so add one more there. Plus, the terrorists took out 2 cops and 2 SS men while Aaron shot one terrorist and immolated the other.
More good news! When what commenter Chris informs us was an anti-tank missile (not an RPG) hits the limo, the Secret Service driver disintegrates! Add one more to the show’s body count.
Also, check out Bogs for Bauer for their brand new Carnival of Bauer featuring the best 24 posts from around the blogosphere.