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Am I imagining things or do the Christmas holidays seem to bring out the cluelessness in more people than normal?

Take your average sales clerk in a big department store, for example. That is, if you can find one. Modern American retailing has become pretty much of a do it yourself shopping experience these days. And if you’re lucky enough to find someone to ask a question about a lost price tag or something similarly unimportant about a product you wish to purchase, the chances are very good that the clerk won’t have a clue. They will give you “the stare.” Like a deer in headlights, they will freeze with a smile frozen on their lips while the only thing moving is their jaw as they speed up their gum chewing ever so slightly. Then comes the inevitable giggle followed by “I’ll have to ask the boss.” And off they go into the wilderness never to be seen or heard from again.

Since the only time I’m ever in a department store is at Christmas time, I am not able to ascertain whether this behavior is a year round cluelessness or a simple outgrowth of seasonal stupidity. Be that as it may, since many of our finalists for Cluebat of the Week don’t celebrate Christmas (many of them being foreigners who are unaware of our secular holidays) they can’t claim holiday stress as an excuse.

Here are a few of our more outstanding Cluebats this week:

  • Nancy Pelosi for…well, being Nancy Pelosi mostly. Several posts this week cover the Democratic House leader’s latest exercises in rhetorical sophistry.
  • How about Iranian President Mahmoud “Nuke ‘em” Ahmadinejad who is not only a Holocaust denier but has also just recently banned “western music.” I don’t like Eminem either but banning Mariah Carey is just taking things a little too far.
  • Finishing a close second was South Korean’s clueless stem cell researcher Hwang Woo Suk who tried to carry out a scientific fraud the likes of which may not have been seen since Piltdown Man was foisted on clueless scientists as the so-called “missing link” between apes and humans.

In the end, I had to give the Cluebat of the Week award to a late entry. Jonathan Alter’s editorial in Newsweek where he calls the President a “dictator” and compares the NSA intercept program with the domestic wiretapping done during the Nixon Administration is the most clueless screed published in a mainstream press organ in quite a while. Full of hyperbole, exaggeration, wishful thinking, and outright lies, it was a no brainer to give the award to Alter.

Here are 34 more examples of cluelessness from both the right and the left. Click till you drop.

“It’s too bad that stupidity isn’t painful.”
(Anton LaVey)

Hey Tony! It’s clear you’ve never read Daily Kos!

Surprise! Mark Coffey catches the nutty professor Juan Cole in another flip flop. This time it’s on Sunnis participating in the democratic process in Iraq. Looks like Cole forgot to delete the evidence of his about face again.

One of my favorite new blogs found through the Carnival is Skeptico. In this post, he takes on Bill Maher’s outrageous position on western medicine in general and vaccines in particular. What. A. Dolt.

Gentle Batya of Shiloh Musings (sounds like a great name for a blog…and a C& W band!) has something to say about the efficacy of polls and how clueless politicians use them.

In addition to winning “The Most Christmassy Blog Skin” award, Wonder Woman has the jaw dropper of the day; convicted murderers “supervising prisoners on “community outings” and transfers. Read the article all the way through. But first, take your blood pressure meds. You are going to need them.

The lovely Mensa Barbie has a post about a scary future with devices that can track our every move and the clueless people who might misuse the information.

Here’s your dosage of Carnival satire for the week. First up, The Bear who gives us possible articles of impeachment against President Bush. Then, Carnival Satirist in Residence Buckley F. Williams presents “A Guide to Dealing with Your Family During Christmas, Part I.” Can’t wait for Part II! And while you’re in the mood, check out this uproariously funny piece at Conservathink about Ahmadinejad’s ban on western music for “phat beats” as evidence of vast Zionist conspiracy.

The Anti-Racists Losers blog gives a big shout out to McDonalds Corporation for stopping professed anti-American moonbat Michael (last name not included so that Technorati will not send him or any of his supporters here) from using an altered version of their logo to promote his nauseating propaganda.

Judith at Kesher Talk hands out a “Cluepon” to two cluebats who both exceed expectations when it comes to stupidity about the PLO-Israeli war.

I can’t tell you how jealous I am of Carnival Pin-Up Girl Pamela and her little soire with UN Ambassador John Bolton. That said, read this whole post, especially the part about the cluelessness of Syria and how they continue to treat Lebanon as a captured province.

Soccer Dad has a great post about the cluelessness of some institutions of higher learning and where they recently got a big fat “gift” in order to foster “understanding of Islam.” Sheesh! Talk about whores!

The Yaks Attack! This time, our intrepid Big Shaggies are stalking the Iranian Interior Secretary who was trying to backpedal furiously from Ahmadinejad’s incredibly stupid comments about Israel. BTW, did you know that the male wild yak can weigh up to 1000 kg (2200 lb) and reach a height of 6’5”?

XYBA has some state government cluelessness for ya with this article on an LA County website that will email your sexual partner about your “disease” problem – just in case you’re too shy to tell them yourself. Nice thing to wake up to in the mornin’, huh?

My Right Word has an article about a religious cluebat of a professor who doesn’t quite seem to understand what Hamas is all about.

AJ at The Strata-Sphere lays into Harry Reid and the Democrats for their cluelessness on the NSA controversy.

More Nancy Pelosi commentary from Jimmie K. Did she think no one would notice how really, really stupid she sounded by saying her party would not have a position on the #1 issue facing the country?

Josh Cohen wonders whether or not Congress had anything better to do last week than investigate college football and the annual cries of anguish from constituents that their favorite team didn’t make it into the Rose Bowl this year. Maybe next year for my Mankato State Mavericks.

Raven shows how “Never Forget” 9/11 can quickly become “Fagettaboutit” when clueless Democrats and their hard left allies are concerned.

Cao of Cao’s Blog has another vital post on the trials of Jack Idema. The fact that Cao has been under vicious attack for her defense of Mr. Idema from the far left should tell you all you need to know about why this case is so important.

Orac takes apart President Ahmadinejad for his clueless denial of the Holocaust. Back in ‘45 when Eisenhower toured the death camps, he ordered as many soldiers as possible to bear witness to the atrocities because he thought there would come a day when people would say it didn’t happen. Eisenhower was a very smart fellow.

When I received this entry from New York City.Com I thought it might be a spam website. It isn’t. This guy is hysterical. Read his “Three Stooges” script submitted by the Pentagon to the Iraqi press and you’ll agree.

Tony B. at More than Loans has an interesting take on Nancy Pelosi’s clueless comments about a unified position for her party on Iraq.

Mr. Right has the results of his Captions Contest that featured a picture of Cluebat Hall of Famer Howard Dean in a sort of pensive moonbat pose. Hilarious!

Here’s a blog made for this Carnival; Abolition of Stupidity has a post about the cluelessness of the New Zealand government about the Kyoto protocols.

The American Scratchpad writes about a brand new museum; The Museum of the African Diaspora. Cluebats only need apply for membership.

Fred Fry is blogging “The Apprentice” and has writes about the cluelessness of the winner.

The Maryhunter has the scoop on the South Korean scientist who tried to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes by falsifying his stem cell research data.

Jack Cluth skins Bill Reilly alive for some of the bloviating one’s comments regarding the war on Christmas. As usual, good writing from Jack.

Those pistol-packing pachyderms at Elephants in Academia once again have Arlen Specter in their sights. This time, the Pennsylvania Senator opined about the NSA intercept program while he should have kept his mouth shut.

Adam is laying into the spammers for continuously trying to outfox him. Keep up the good work, man.

Finally, here’s my take on the clueless Mr. Alter and his editorial in which he calls the President of the United States “a dictator.”

By: Rick Moran at 10:31 am | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (12)

Blog Carnival linked with Blog Carnival index: CARNIVAL OF THE CLUELESS #26
Watcher of Weasels linked with Weekly Roundup of Weekly Roundups
Random Yak linked with Carnival of the Clueless is Up
Multiple Mentality linked with Carnivalized!
Adam's Blog linked with The Carnival of the Clueless Up and Quitting While You're Ahead
Mensa Barbie Welcomes You linked with Radio Frequency ID Track

Calling all bloggers!

You have until Sunday night at 11:00 PM to get your entries in for this week’s Carnival of the Clueless.

Last week’s Carnival, our 25th, was the best yet with 30 entries from both the right and left side of the political spectrum hammering those individuals and groups among us who are truly clueless.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Each week, I’ll be calling for posts that highlight the total stupidity of a public figure or organization – either left or right – that demonstrates that special kind of cluelessness that only someone’s mother could defend…and maybe not even their mothers!

Everyone knows what I’m talking about. Whether it’s the latest from Bill Maher or the Reverend Dobson, it doesn’t matter. I will post ALL ENTRIES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED OR NOT..

You can enter by emailing me, leaving a link in the comments section, or by using the handy, easy to use form at Conservative Cat.

By: Rick Moran at 12:09 pm | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (3)


Welcome to the Silver Anniversary Celebration of The Carnival of the Clueless. The buffet table is on the right as you walk in. Sorry Beth and Raven, no open bar but I’m sure Jay, Cao, Kender and The Maryhunter will be happy to know there are plenty of sammiches.

Oh, and uh…please keep the elephants out of the salad. And would somebody please see to it that Pamela and Jack are at separate tables? There’s going to be enough blood on the floor what with Van Helsing on a rampage and Giacomo jousting away.

Uh-oh…looks like Mr. Right and Jimmie K are at it again – the Series is over guys, Sox won.

Hey! Is that Tom hitting on the DHM? I’m sure he’s interested in her mind only. Now Fred and Rachel – that’s water from a Different River. Pure. Animal. Passion.

I see Orac holding forth. Come to think of it, that’s a pretty damn smart table what with Kaote, the two Adams and that wrestler fella.

Say! Look who the cat drug in! AJ arm in arm with Wonder Woman. AJ always was a sucker for superheroes. And I’m surprised to see XYBA given that he doesn’t like to Fly at Night.

Now, I’m sure there’s been a World of Speculation about who will be the Silver Anniversary Cluebat of the Week. No Speed Bumps here. So without further adieu, I will go Once More Into the Breach and say that the winner hands down and with no second and third place awarded since they absolutely swept the voting, is the United Nations.

The reason? Only the United Nations could, in the manner of a two year old child who covers his ears when wanting to shut out something he doesn’t want to hear, pretend that the State of Israel (a UN member state) does not exist by failing to include it on a map of the Middle East posted at a “celebration” of solidarity with the Palestinian people.

Think about how clueless this action really is. In 1947, the UN itself partitioned the former British Mandate of Palestine into Arab and Jewish states. In short, the United Nations created the State of Israel! Even more ironic is the fact that the “celebration” of solidarity with the Palestinians occurred on the anniversary of the UN General Assembly’s creation of the Jewish state. Of that date, cluebat Kofi Annan has said it is “a day of mourning and a day of grief.”

And we look forward to a day filled with rejoicing and celebration; the day you take your arrogant ass and your corrupt family and friends back to where you came from never to show your criminal face in public again.

There’s plenty more where that kind of cluelessness came from. Click till it hurts.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

And to all the friends and supporters of this site and the COTC, thanks for letting me be stupid every once and while.

The Sophistpundit commits the unpardonable sin of throwing the Democrats own words back in their faces. He should be ashamed of himself, taking all those quotes out of context. Come to think of it…by putting them in context, they sound worse.

Jack Cluth has a rant against clueless Republicans who have lowered the quality of debate on the Iraq war thanks to their “white flag” ad campaign. C’mon Jack! Tell us what you really think.

Van Helsing pounds the wooden stake deep into the heart of John Kerry for his clueless comments about American soldiers in Iraq. Deja vu anyone?

TMH is blogging the Global Warming Conference in Canada among other things. He gives a rather baleful look toward the “enviro-whackos” and other clueless greens whose stupidity knows no bounds.

AJ at the Strata-Sphere takes the EU to task for their latest outrage; an exhibition and activities book about sex and relationships that targets children of preschool and primary school age. AJ’s advice is spot on.

Giacomo lances Jonathan Alter for his clueless article on the Pentagon’s media program in Iraq. Alter should know that straw-men are only used by hay brains.

Our Official Carnival Pin-up Girl, Pamela at Atlas Shrugs, has a real head scratcher of a post regarding an Islamic “professor” who says that Einstien’s theory of special relativity – among other “scientific” information” can be found in (wait for it) The Koran! Watch the excellent MEMRI video and be stunned.

Fred Fry skewers the clueless ones at CodePink who wanted to party down with Fidel in Cuba on New Years eve. Fred suggests they go to North Korea and keep Kim Jong Il company instead. Heh.

In a very important and informative post, Orac highlights the dangerous cluelessness of Mel Gibson who wants to make a movie on the Holocaust. Given Mr. Gibson’s feelings about the subject, I would hope he abandons the project and spends some time reading a little history.

In what has to be considered a Tour de Force of cluebat fisking, Tom Bowler chews on the Washington Post “Special Section” regarding our withdrawal from Iraq and spits it out, article by article, into little tiny pieces showing how nonsensical the cluebats are. Great job.

Rachel has a pithy and straight up answer to the question posed to Peter Watson about what is the worst “big idea” in history. Watson’s jaw dropping answer is laughably shallow for such a “deep” thinker.

Raven gives some “Profiles in Cowardice” of some of our current crop of American traitors. Raven on Kerry: “He and Osama are about the same size aren’t they? Yes…and isn’t it strange they tend to say the same things about American soldiers?

Jimmie K has some thoughts on the cluelessness of John McCain and the torture bill he’s trying to push through Congress. Wrong place, wrong bill, but IMHO, the right idea.

Never tiring of getting into trouble, Beth is looking for “The First Annual Weblog Awards Asshat” given to the person who whines the most about The Weblog Awards. Then again, Beth is the kind of woman who actually looks for trouble – which is why I want her in any blogging foxhole that I might ever find myself.

Ferdy the Cat has an interesting take on a C-Span show with Brent Bozell and Mary Mapes. Being a superior life form, I’m surprised Ferdy was able to maintain his interest whenever cluebat Mapes opened her mouth. Evidently, Ferdy amused himself by agreeing with the witch – up to a point.

A Different River shows why the PC maniacs who want to call a Christmas tree a “holiday” tree so as not to offend Jews is so off-base. ADR: “Hannukah has as much to do with trees as Christmas has to do with yarmulkes – or for that matter, with shoelaces.” Uh-huh.

Wonder Woman has the “oppressed people of the world unite” post of the day with the tragic tale of Inuits in Canada and the US whose habitat is being ruined by…what? They say global warming which is why they want the US to follow the Kyoto limits on CO2 emissions. And…oh. Did I mention they also want gobs of money from American taxpayers to help them “adapt” to climate change. Their long dead ancestors who “adapted” by coming here in the first place – without government assistance – are turning over in their graves.

Those definitely un-pusillanimous pachyderms at Elephants in Academia are having a gay old time with the cluelessness of Tom DeFrank of the NY Daily News and his anti-Rumsfeld articles.

The Deputy Headmistress uses her pointer to rap the knuckles of Saddam Hussein who is complaining about being tortured while in prison. She should make him write on the blackboard 500 times “I must not hide like a coward in spider holes.”

Adam Graham has the skinny on the UK professor who was beat up ostensibly because he was going to teach a class bashing intelligent design. Adam highlights the stupidity of the left’s response to the crime, in that they assumed no one on the right would decry the beating.

More excellent information on the Jack Idema case from Cao (still pronounced “key”). The cluelessness here extends from the media to our State Department. You simply must familiarize yourself with this case, especially if you think you know everything about it. Not all is at it appears and an American patriot is suffering because of our ignorance.

Mr. Right (one of our Carnival Satirical Artists in Residence) has an article about the ACLU’s continuing war on Christmas. The cluebats are about to go nuclear by demanding the removal of all Christmas songs from radio as well as Christmas programming from TV! No comment from Santa – he’s too busy.

More satirical gold from The Nose on Your Face: “Are you there God? It’s me, Tookie.”

Matt Johnson has a fascinating post about an undeclared war on blogs by high school administrators. A cheerleader kicked off the squad for “vulgar” language on her website? No wonder our kids can’t read.

No Speed Bumps targets Canadian liberals and pulls the trigger. The northern chapter of anti-gun moonbats wants to take away the handguns of law abiding Canadian citizens based on the same faulty logic used by their cluebat cousins to the south; that it will reduce crime. Um…how many murders in Washington, D.C. last year, a city with the strictest gun control in the US?

Jay at Stop the ACLU has some typical obfuscation of the facts by the so-called rights group. This time it involves cooking the books on prisoner abuse in Afghanistan. Not only can’t the numbskulls count, they also apparently can’t read very well either.

Here’s something I’d love to see more of in Blogland. Fly by Night blogs a very important local issue – how a small California County (Sutter County) responded to Citizen input and how clueless some politicians can truly be.

Kender has a story of PC run amok in Denmark and the clueless response to the UN to some Danish measures at self-defense against the Islamic tide sweeping Europe. Says Kender: “Moral Relativism and Situational Ethics seem to be the New World Order, where everything is opposite to reality and common sense.” Read the whole thing.

Once more into the Breach blog has the jawdropping story of the day. Apparently the authorities told a stalked student to move rather than giving her protection from someone who eventually killer her. All I can say is – WTF?

A World of Speculation criticizes Stephen Schwartz of the Daily Standard for a clueless article on Kosovo.

Here’s your Tookie post of the day. It comes from Kaote and the title says it all: “Tookie Supporters Are Clueless Morons.” That just about covers it all.

Finally, here’s my take on the Iraqi answer to the defeatists: “IRAQIS PREPARING TO GIVE THE FINGER TO DEAN AND THE DEMS.”

By: Rick Moran at 9:32 am | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (13)

Watcher of Weasels linked with Weekly Roundup of Weekly Roundups
Atlas Shrugs linked with PURPLE FINGERS EVERYONE!
Political Satire Fake News - The Nose On Your Face linked with Are You There God? It's Me Tookie.
Kenders' Musings linked with The Silver Anniversary of The Carnival of the Clue
Joust The Facts linked with Who Hasn't Got A Clue?
A World of Speculation linked with Carnival of the Clueless

Captain Renault: Major Strasser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects. (Casablanca, 1942)

We have plenty of the “usual suspects” in this, the 24th edition of the Carnival of the Clueless. Hall of Famers Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, and Hillary Clinton are all given a good going over by our intrepid contributors who span the globe to bring you the constant variety of cluebats you’ve come to expect.

It was difficult to cull the herd of nominees for Cluebat of the Week. Here are a few finalists:

  • Senator Arlen Specter who is so desperate to see his Philadelphia Eagles win the Super Bowl he wanted to convene a Congressional hearing to see if Congress couldn’t make the team take back problem child Terrel Owens in order to have him play. He then experienced an Emily Litella moment when he was told by the Justice Department to “fagetaboutit.” Never mind.
  • How about President Bush’s nominee for Deputy Director of USAID Paul Bonicelli who the President plucked from tiny Patrick Henry College, a fundamentalist Christian institution of higher learning? Nothing inherently wrong with that, of course, except the school isn’t accredited and requires its “science” teachers to sign a statement saying that they believe the earth and everything on it was created in 6, 24-hour days. Mr. Bonicelli allowed that if “there was evidence that contradicted scripture” on the creation of the earth he would be willing to examine it. How very big of him. And the fact that the statement also says if you don’t accept Jesus as God you will end up in “torment” may have caused a few awkward moments around the table with some of our non-Christian friends. Try again, George.
  • Don’t forget Nancy Pelosi whose timing couldn’t be better. No sooner does she come out in favor of cutting and running in Iraq than CNN releases a poll saying that 59% of Americans oppose that course of action. Considering that Pelosi has never taken a principled stand in her political life, it appears she slightly miscalculated the mood of the American people. Par for the course for the clueless harridan from San Francisco.

But the winner of Cluebat of the Week absolutely must go to the CIA. Last summer, the spooks leaked a National Intelligence Estimate on Iran that assured us the mad mullahs were 10 years from getting the bomb. The leak was aimed at discrediting the Bush Administration who had been ratcheting up the rhetoric against Iran’s nuclear ambitions.

Imagine our surprise when America hating IAEA Chairman Muhammad ElBaradei said just yesterday that the radioactive ayatollahs are 6 months from constructing a nuclear weapon. The fact that we are surprised at this doesn’t trouble me. But isn’t it just a little bit disturbing that the CIA was off in its estimate of Iran’s nuclear capability by 9 1/2 years?

So for breathtaking incompetence above and beyond just about anything imaginable, the CIA walks away with the coveted Cluebat of the Week.

Here are 29 more examples of head-scratching cluelessness. Click to your heart’s content.

“Naivete in grownups is often charming; but when coupled with vanity it is indistinguishable from stupidity.”
(Eric Hoffer)

Hey Eric! Just how familiar are you with Democrats on the Hill?


Orac is rightly upset with an internet squatter who seems obsessed with the Wise One’s website, going so far as to purchase the “dot com” domain name “Orac.” A cautionary tale with an interesting comment thread as well.

The usually placid Pachyderms at Elephants in Academia are steaming mad at John Kerry for…well, being John Kerry first and foremost but specifically for some recent remarks made by the Senator from Hanoi about timetables for withdrawal from Iraq.

Another takedown of Kerry at Palmetto Pundit who posits “Using John Kerry’s new math, we have to conclude that Withdrawal=Success. Call me old fashioned, but I still use the old formula which is Victory=Success.” Yep.

Jay at Stop the ACLU has the skinny on the “rights” organization’s attack on the CIA. As Jay points out, don’t these cluebats realize there’s a war on? Actually they do – they’re just having problems with “enemy identification.”

Good to have Matt Johnston contributing to the Carnival again. His post on the cluelessness of football fan Senator Specter has a nice analogy using the Senator’s own staff as an example.

Mark Coffey chews up Senator Kennedy and spits him out for his clueless comments on Judge Alito’s upcoming confirmation hearings. Pot meet kettle. Mark surprises himself as he notes it is the first time that Kennedy has made his “Jackass of the Week.” Sometimes, we tend to overlook the obvious…

Raven has the tale of some protesters who tried to confront Ward Churchill about his “little Eichman” comment. A flavor of what went on at the protest: “He also claimed the guest speaker left the building but not before “putting a hex on us in an Indian dialect.” Read the whole thing.

The Headmistress of those gentle home schoolers in The Common Room has an excellent article on the UN’s attempt to take over the internet. “What’s wrong at the UN? Well, it depends on your point of view. From the point of view of self-perpetuating institutions, nothing”. I would say that’s spot on.

Another Carnival regular we can welcome back after a while is Tom Bowler of the excellent Libertarian Leanings. Tom has a few thoughts on the Democrats and Iraq: “They are a party demanding a timetable but needing a clue.” Uh-huh.

Your dose of Carnival satire is brought to you this week by Mr. Right and Buckley F. Williams. Suggest you put down all liquid refreshment before reading either of these excellent screeds.

The Right Place has the Democrats newest fundraising gimmick; a CD of Christm…I mean “seasonal” songs sung by their political stars including Hillary’s marvelous rendition of “”I Caught Bill Kissing Mrs. Claus.” And The Nose on your Face contributes “The Top 9 Other Prison Complaints of Saddam Hussein” including #7: I’m not allowed to put up pictures from my Playboy: Girl’s of Mesopotamia issue.

JB on the Rocks takes two towns in Arizona to task for allowing “public nudity.” As Jeff points out, public breastfeeding is a question of fairness to others, not whether it is right. I might add something about bad manners but hey! What do I know? I’m a 51 year old mossback with old fashioned ideas about what should and shouldn’t be done in public.

Jack Cluth of The People’s Republic of Seabrook asks “Isn’t it about time that we WAKE UP AND SMELL THE CAT LITTER??” regarding President Bush and his “National Strategy for Victory in Iraq.” As usual, Jack holds up the liberal argument against Bush as well as it can be done.

Rachel at Tinkerty Tonk defends C.S. Lewis and The Chronicles of Narnia against anti-Christian moonbats. Lewis, one of the most thoughtful men of the 20th century, used the imagery in Narnia to make a statement about universal truths and humanity, as Rachel points out. Only a clueless atheist would see anything else.

The lovely and super-smart Mensa Barbie has an interesting post on the skyscraper in Taipei that scientists believe could be causing (proximately) earthquakes. Clueless engineers? Read the post and follow the fascinating link to the American Geophysical Union’s website.

Critical thinker Skeptico turns a baleful glance toward a San Francisco cluebat Supervisor who is demanding all businesses of 20 or more employees to have health insurance. A nice idea but pretty arbitrary and capricious – which is about what you’d expect from the San Francisco government.

Will Franklin sends along this story in the student-run Eagle of Texas A&M University about a cluebat who threw horse feces on the rival University of Texas band. Flinging feces, eh? Read what the Dean says about it.

It’s “Old Home” week as Mean ole Meany rejoins the Carnival with the first year-end round up I’ve seen to date. Of course, it’s done the way that only Two Dogs can do it – real mean and brutally funny.

Fred Fry reminds us just what kind of tree we’re putting up this season. The fact that intelligent, rational human beings are even discussing this shows the absolute, total cluelessness of the left in opposing the idea of a “Christmas” tree.

Soccer Dad has the jawdropper of the day with a post on what an American reporter asked Osama Bin Laden in an interview that was published in the book A Brief History of a Long War. Please Santa…add that one to the stocking.

A.J. at The Strato-Sphere has the skinny on a CNN-USA Today-Gallup poll showing surprising support for staying until the job is done in Iraq. Murtha and Pelosi should be wiping the mud off their faces about now.

Sethual Chocolate at Multiple Mentality lays into Sony for their cluelessness regarding their attempts to curb piracy of their CD’s that backfired spectacularly.

Doug at Below the Beltway has a hilarious post on the Canadian moonbat who believed that the US was going to build a base on the moon to shoot down alien visitors. A Carnival finalist last week.

The Maryhunter has a real headshaker involving Producer-Director David Lynch and his curious ideas about how to win the War on Terror.

Adam at the excellent Sophistpundit has a funny conversation between Harry Reid and a glass house over a speech by Vice President Cheney.

Van Helsing is stalking moonbat extraordinaire Ramsey Clark and gives the traitor his just desserts in an eye opening post about Clarke’s life of anti-American activism.

Kevin at The Liberal Wrong-Wing has a great fisking of Michael Moore. Some new jawdroppers from Mr. Moore are featured.

Finally, here’s my take on the cluelessness of the New York Times and redistricting.

By: Rick Moran at 11:21 pm | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (8)

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The Carnival of the Clueless is moving!

Yes, the Carnival is pulling up stakes and moving to Mondays in hopes of generating more traffic for the dozens of bloggers who toil away, searching the internet for cluebats to hold up to public ridicule, all for your enjoyment.

Last week’s Carnival was the best yet with 29 entries from both the right and left side of the political spectrum hammering those individuals and groups among us who truly don’t have a clue.

The new deadline for entries will be Sunday at 11:00 PM.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Each week, I’ll be calling for posts that highlight the total stupidity of a public figure or organization – either left or right – that demonstrates that special kind of cluelessness that only someone’s mother could defend…and maybe not even their mothers!

Everyone knows what I’m talking about. Whether it’s the latest from Bill Maher or the Reverend Dobson, it doesn’t matter. I will post ALL ENTRIES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED OR NOT..

You can enter by emailing me, leaving a link in the comments section, or by using the handy, easy to use form at Conservative Cat.

By: Rick Moran at 4:29 pm | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (0)


Welcome to the 23rd edition of the Carnival of the Clueless where bloggers highlight the stupidity of various loons, goons, poltroons, dirty necked galoots and the odd idiotarian whose behavior marks them for entry into the blog slaughterhouse. Taking apart these clueless clodhoppers like a fresh side of beef is part of what makes blogging so much fun, hence the reason for this link fest.

For Cluebat of the Week, there are several nominees whose cluelessness has set them apart from the rest. Some of these turkeys should have been stuffed, dressed, and served up for the Thanksgiving feast:

  • Chrissy Matthews for his plea before a student group in Canada to “understand” the beheaders, murderers, bombers, and fascists whose desire to kill us all is outdone by Chrissy’s wish to prostrate himself before them and beg for mercy.
  • Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad whose desire for nuclear weapons would be seen as one of the greatest dangers in the history of Western Civilization…if the people responsible for seeing he didn’t get them cared one whit for us, the United States, or the west for that matter.
  • CNN for their “X Marks the Spot” reality TV show featuring Vice President Cheney as the one they wished to vote off the island. Unfortunately, it was the network itself who was forced to eat those icky live worms.
  • Finishing a close second was former Canadian Defence Minister Paul Hellyer who accused the United States of building a base to enable it to attack aliens. No, not aliens from like south of the border and no, the base will not be of this world but on the moon. Perhaps we should retask NASA to point our destructo beams at Canada rather than the alien spacecraft who regularly stop by for a chat with Mr. Hellyer.

All worthy nominees but in the end, since we recently celebrated Thanksgiving, I just had to give the award to University of Texas-El Paso journalism professor Robert Jensen who published an indictment of American society for all the evils we’ve perpetrated on the planet:

Simply put: Thanksgiving is the day when the dominant white culture (and, sadly, most of the rest of the non-white but non-indigenous population) celebrates the beginning of a genocide that was, in fact, blessed by the men we hold up as our heroic founding fathers.

Professor Jensen prattles on about how truly eeeeevil white people are and how truly eeeeevil America is. He does so by using argument based on falsehoods (the old, discredited Ward Churchill example of the small pox infested blankets) as well as telling lies – or at least demonstrating a cluelessness so breathtaking that one fears for the education of his students. As I point out at the beginning of my takedown:

It is as predictable as the annual September collapse of the Chicago Cubs. Every single holiday in which we seek to celebrate what is good and decent about this country and contemplate all that we should treasure and be thankful for, some lickspittle lefty feels an obligation to point out that we should take the ceremonial sword and open up our midsection to atone for all of the past sins committed by our ancestors.

So for cluelessness above and beyond (not to mention extremely bad manners for posting the article for Thanksgiving) Robert Jensen wins the coveted “Cluebat of the Week” award.

Here are 29 more denizens of Cluebat Land. Start clicking and enjoy!

“Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.”
(P.J. O’Rourke)

Hey P.J.! I see you read Professor Jensen’s article for Thanksgiving.

AJ at The Strata-Sphere points out a slight discrepancy in conspiracy theories surrounding the Niger forgeries that has escaped the clueless left in their rush to blame Bush for the fake memos.

Gajinbiker has an EU diplomat dead to rights as he administers a ceremonial chop with his samurai sword to the luckless cluebat who has a short memory regarding North Korea’s behavior in the six-party talks.

Blogbuddy Maryhunter at TMH Bacon Bits hands his blog keys to DL who recalls a conversation with left-leaning friend who thinks that profit is a dirty word. Read DL’s expert and passionate defense of the “P” word.

For your dose of Carnival satire this week, visit The Nose on your Face where Buckley sings the praises of Zarqawi for “practicing what he preaches:” Angry Muslims throughout the region can now wear their throwback Zarqawi jerseys with pride. Also check out Duncan Avatar’s hilarious take on a Bush news conference about the “evil galactic empire” that Canadian cluebat Hellyer (link above) referenced in his comments about aliens.

Carnival Pin-up girl and bloggoddess Pamela of Atlas Shrugs is back! Read her take on the most dangerous cluebats on the planet – the Iranians and the MSM who continue to ignore the evidence of the Mad Mullah’s desire to wipe us off the face of the planet.

Can’t mention a bloggoddess without talking about Feisty Republican Whore...or can I? Actually, our intrepid street walker has a heart of gold as well as a pen of poison as she emasculates (further) Elton John for some recent clueless statements.

Jay at Stop the ACLU has the jawdropper of the day as he relates the story of a little girl’s religious faith and her experience with her school. ‘Tis the season to be careful if you’re a Christian.

Gullyborg has a report on the cluelessness of his local TV station as they tried to tell viewers what blogs are all about. The fact that the reporter goes by the nom de news of “Info Babe” should tell you all you need to know.

Adam’s Blog has the skinny on the revelations regarding the non-career of New Mexico governor Bill Richardson as a professional baseball player. Note to all ‘08 Presidential aspirants from both parties: Please check your resume and make sure it is accurate and truthful or you’re going to end up looking as clueless as Richardson.

Minh-Duc of State of Flux has a welcome return post to the Carnival that answers Kevin Drum’s thoughts on class action lawsuits.

Mark Coffey is contemplating which California actor-airhead is more clueless; Rob Reiner or Warren Beatty. Tough call, but Mark nails it.

The folks at the excellent blog A Different River have a post guaranteed to raise your blood pressure. It’s about the cluelessness of the FDA and how bureaucratic fools cause needless suffering.

The Yak is Back! Check out the Yak’s own collection of clueless cretins taken down as only a four-legged relation to camels can.

Here are a couple of links sent in by loyal Carnival readers. First, Rachel sends us this post from Gall and Wormwood (“As warm and human as a thrown knife.“) about what George Galloway has been up to recently. It isn’t good, I can assure you. And Bill Martin from my favorite name for a town – Thunder Bay, Ontario – sends us this shocking piece from the CBC who Bill wonders “How many ways can you not say’terrorist?”

Jimmie K has a great piece on the cluelessness of Washington about illegal immigration. Read it and weep.

Et Tu Bloge wants to know where the oil price conspiracy touted by moonbats is now that the price is falling faster than Warren Beatty’s poll numbers.

Iris Blog is on the case of MSM bias again. After breaking several stories about falsehoods being spread by the NY Times and other news organs about Israel, this piece is shows how “Journalists repeatedly act like students cheating on an exam.”

Here’s a story that is flying under the radar and needs to be brought to the forefront by bloggers. Cao of Cao’s Blog has been relating the story of Jack Idema and his team who fought for America in Afghanistan and are now caught in a bureaucratic tug of war that has them languishing in an Afghanistan prison. It’s a complicated story but well worth your time and effort. The link above is for Cao’s latest on the lies of CBS about their part in the story. You can read the entire story about Task Force Saber 7 here.

Those piquant pachyderms at Elephants in Academia has the ultimate takedown of Chrissy Matthews and his bloviations about America and the Iraq war. Don’t miss their follow-up post as well.

Rhymes with Right has a real head scratcher about so-called “Blue Laws” in the very blue state of Massachusetts and how those laws negatively impact consumers.

Conservathink has a review of Mother Sheehan’s book Not one more Mother’s Child. A sample: “This is the greatest piece of literature I’ve read since I finished The Communist Manifesto, and I recommend it to all progressive-minded individuals. The book is endorsed by Liberal Larry of Blamebush! and The Progressive Democrats of America.

Blogfight! Blogfight! It’s Orac vs. Dean Esmay over what actually causes AIDS and AIDS related diseases. All I can say is, keep me out of it…but let me know when science comes up with a definitive answer one way or another.

Me-Ander wonders about cluebat telephone solicitors and how anyone can give their credit card number to a stranger over the phone.

Batya at Blog Free has the story of a coverup involving Israeli policemen and the anti-disengagement protests recently.

By: Rick Moran at 10:16 am | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (13)

JB on the Rocks linked with The Carnival is in town
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Blog Carnival linked with Blog Carnival index: CARNIVAL OF THE CLUELESS #23

This late, late edition of the Carnival is dedicated to Nyquil, Actifed,, Robitussin, and my sainted Irish grandmother’s concoction of one part Lipton Tea, one part (Irish) whiskey, and one part barley soup. Of course, Irish whiskey is one of those libations that goes well with just about anything – with the exception of barley soup. But my grandmother, God rest her, believed that barley cured everything including headaches, nausea, goiter, chilblains, croup, and the odd cancer. One thing is certain; don’t drink her remedy on an empty stomach.

Be that as it may, this past week has given us evidence yet again that cluelessness knows no party or ideology. Like a force of nature it simply exists, ready to erupt like a volcano and explode onto the public consciousness with triphammer force.

Witness if you please the total cluelessness of the French who continue to try and appease the unruly mobs that have caused auto insurance rates in that country to skyrocket. Or how about Special Prosecutor Fitzgerald, shown up by Watergate hero Bob Woodward whose pooh-poohing of the Fitzgerald investigation can now be seen in a slightly different light – as in Woodward wanting to stay out of jail. And then there’s al Zarqawai, the deadliest cluebat around, who decided it would be a good idea to crash a wedding party in Jordan with guests attired in both traditional garb and the latest fashion in bomb belts. The ploy didn’t work very well as evidenced by 200,000 Jordanians who took to the streets of Aman to tell the Merry Beheader that crashing weddings is very bad manners.

But I guess it’s no secret who the Cluebat of the Week had to be for this edition of the Carnival; the oldest political party on the planet, the Democratic Party of the United States.

I suppose I could have narrowed it down to Representative Jack Murtha. But Mr. Murtha’s position on Iraq has been well known for a year now. The fact that the MSM recently discovered this and decided it was news is irrelevant to our discussions. Because the cluelessness of the Democratic party was not evidenced by Murtha’s position on the war but rather by their somewhat comical and desperate response to the Republican gambit of making them go on record supporting that position.

Oh! The humanity of it! Watching the Democratic reps squirm like little kids during a boring Sunday sermon, the Republicans laid the wood to them but good. To see them reduced to trying to differentiate between “immediate withdrawal” and “immediate redeployment” was a side-splittingly funny demonstration of hair splitting. In the end, their entire cowardly party caved and, with the exception of 3 brave and forthright souls who voted for the unofficial party position of immediate withdrawal, all opted for hypocrisy in order to keep their chances for re-election secure.

Sic semper Moonbattis!

Here are 30 more examples of similarly confounding cluelessness. Click and enjoy!

The fool of nature stood with stupid eyes And gaping mouth, that testified surprise.
(John Dryden)

Hey John! Great line on Democratic party reaction to the Iraq withdrawal resolution!


Equuschick (yeah, baby!) at The Common Room has the story of a dog owner who is not only clueless, but deserves a good thrashing.

Cluebat Hall of Famer Jesse Jackson is the well deserved target of two Carnival regulars this week. Mark Coffey has the blowhard dead to rights as his “Jackass of the Week” while Josh Cohen gives Jesse a few well aimed rhetorical slaps – both for Jackson’s intercession on behalf of last week’s Cluebat finalist Terrell (“I am not selfish”) Owens.

Giacomo has some prescient analysis on the various political moves undertaken by clueless Democrats and Republicans recently.

Wonder Woman has a real jaw dropper about how and why kids will not be able to sit on Santas lap in Switzerland.

More Democratic party hypocrisy on the war shown the light of day, this time by Duncan Avatar.

Jimmie K looks at some media reports on the French riots and gives them a good fisking.

Gullyborg has a post that wins in the “Article most likely to raise your blood pressure” category. Its about a clueless judge and what to do about him.

Jack Cluth at The People’s Republic of Seabrook (nice to have them back in the Carnival) has the liberal bill of particulars for the “Bush Lied” case.

Here are two pieces posted at Stop the ACLU blog. The first is by Kender the Magnificent who devastates the moonbats at ACLU by taking their positions on separation of church and state to their logical conclusion. Then Jay has some comments on the head scratching ruling of the 9th circuit on teaching Islam in schools (btw, don’t forget to vote for Jay and I in the “spades” category for Aaron’s Deck of Bloggers)

Miriam has a hilarious conversation with the Dish Network over her canceling their service.

Nickie Goomba has a funny bit on a new car for the clueless French. Hell, I didn’t even know the French still made cars. Does anyone still work in that country?

Our favorite street walker, Feisty Republican Whore, takes down (no, not like that!) Senator Rockefeller for his clueless comments on pre-war intel recently.

Ever see an elephant cry? Those pacific pachyderms at Elephants in Academia are saddened to find that some lawmakers they respected end up having feet of clay.

Bow deeply to Gajinbiker and thank him for this post skewering ID proponents, including Pat “Thunderbolt” Robertson.

If you haven’t been following the story of the capture of Jack Idema and his Task Force who are caught in an endless maze of bureaucratic red tape, you must go to Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) and find out the details to this shocking story.

Ogre has the scoop on the French surrender to the Islamists. Almost too ridiculous to be true. Alas, it is.

The Maryhunter has the facts regarding what is really going on at the US Civil Rights Commission and how politics is played in Washington.

If there is there anyone who can slay moonbats with a lethal combination of wit and sagacity better than Van Helsing, I haven’t found him yet. Read this piece on Algore’s latest outrage.

Here’s your weekly dose of outrageous Carnival satire, expertly penned by Carnival regulars The Nose on Your Face and In the Right Place.

Mr. Right has the skinny on the lawsuit being filed by the Democrats to stop Republicans from using their own words against them. The boys at The Nose on your Face have “The Top 9 Other Terrel Owens Complaints Against the Eagles.”

Name one person that consistently demonstrates more cluelessness than Michael Newdow - who now wants to take God off of our money – and you win a cookie. Raven is rightly disgusted.

Newbie Neddy’s Palavar has the skinny on the blogosphere imbroglio that erupted recently with the “outing” of a federal prosecutor who writes a gossipy blog on the courts. Democrats asking “Is it real or is it Memorex?”

One of the more interesting new sites I’ve come across thanks to the Carnival is Slu-dog-O-Rama. This “R” rated post on some cluelessness at the US Postal Service is a must read.

GOP and the City takes the Democrats apart for highlighting their “leadership” on Iraq. Apparently, the clueless Dems think that losing politicians are their best spokesmen.

AJ at The Strata-Sphere shows just how big a cluebat Zarqawi really is for the attack he pulled off in Jordan.

Fred Fry illustrates some banking cluelessness on the part of Chase and why he’ll never have dealings with those worthies again.

Ze’ev at Israel Perspectives highlights some real stupidity on the part of what he calls “elites” in Israeli society when it comes to dealing with the Palestinians.

Finally, here’s my post on the cluelessness of the Pentagon with regard to the millions of documents that have been unearthed in Iraq and how they are not being publicized.

By: Rick Moran at 10:09 am | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (11)

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Who will wear the “Cluebat of the Week” laurels?

Certainly there has been enough cluelessness exhibited by Republicans this week as a group of Republican Congressmen decided that the American people don’t really care about high gas prices. So they felt perfectly at ease in voting to kill (temporarily we hope) the provision in the budget bill that authorizes drilling for oil in the Arctic – ANWR. Rather than mitigate the high prices by finding more oil – not to mention lessening our dependence on the kleptocracies of the Middle East – these bozos care more about caribou than humans. Of course, drilling in ANWR wouldn’t harm the caribou one iota but that fact seems to have escaped our clueless faux conservatives.

Then there was Harry Reid implying that Vice President Cheney is a traitor. My view on that goes something like “Takes one to know one…” Par for the course.

Pat Robertson got a few votes this week for acting like a Notre Dame cheerleader and trying to “shake down the thunder from the sky” on the people of Dover, Pennsylvania for not being loony enough to let ID be taught in science class. But like Harry Reid, this is par for the course for Robertson. In order for either of those two worthies to receive Cluebat of the Week, they will have to do something more outrageous than that.

Ditto the French who arrested some policeman this week for being mean to rioters who were shooting at them. ‘Nuff said.

We do have a winner this week. Despite overwhelming evidence that the world is round, Mary Mapes continues to insist that it is as flat as the brim of your hat. She also believes that the infamous TANG memos could be real which puts in her the same company as little children who believe in Santa Claus and Democrats who believe putting government on the case solves anything. While we know that since she is a liberal she believes the latter, perhaps someone should ask if she believes the former?

Congratulations, Mary! Let us know if you and O.J. Simpson find out who murdered Nicole, eh?

Lot’s of numbskulls and jaw droppers this week. Start clicking!

Stupidity’s the deliberate cultivation of ignorance.
(William Gaddis)

Hey Bill! I see that you’ve been talking to the “Bush Lied” crowd!

Ferdy the Cat shows why Jacques Chirac is acting like a French poodle in dealing with the riots by Muslims which have now entered their third week. Being a superior life form, Ferdy is disgusted.

Fred Fry gives an impassioned defense of rationalism in the Evolution vs ID debate. He also shows how some Christians can be more than un-Christianlike when dealing with those who disagree with them.

Feisty Republican Whore is back in our little neighborhood, walking the streets in search of the truly clueless. Looks like she’s propositioned Pat Robertson. For Pat, when we talk about a “woody” we are referring to the empty vessel that sits on top of his shoulders.

Miriam bemoans the decline in math skills in the state of Louisiana – especially in the legislature. What do you get when you subtract $500,000 from the State’s budget? The answer is “no savings.” Go figure.

Those playful pachyderms at Elephants in Academia apply their considerable brainpower to a 1st class fisking of Senator Carl Levin.

The GaijinBiker at Riding Sunwas idly wondering what was missing from coverage of the French riots. Turns out it was the “blame Bush” meme. Looks like Biker-son spoke a little too early.

Rachel at the excellent blog Tinkerty Tonk has a real jaw dropper about how a homeowner got into trouble with the envirowhackos on Marthas Vineyard for building a barbecue in an environmentally sensitive area. The reason they built it? For a party honoring environut Robert Kennedy, Jr.

Et Tu Blog has some comments about Dan Rather returning to CBS 60 Minutes broadcast. I’m sure there are several jokes somewhere in there but for the moment, I’ll just let you retrieve your tongue that was probably scraping the floor after you read that.

Iris blog proves conclusively that the French riots are an Intifada and not just girls gone crazy in Paris as the MSM seems to want us to believe.

AJ at The Strata-Sphere has a news flash. There was a study released this week showing that “There is more sex on TV.” Really? Who is more clueless; the people at the Kaiser Family Foundation who actually paid money to discover this earth shattering fact or AP who believed such idiocy was newsworthy?

From the “Omigod” Department, Soccer Dad reveals the total cluelessness of the New York Times when it comes to analyzing the motives of Iran’s “reasonable” President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Of course, the Times believes that liberals are “reasonable” also which just goes to show that one should never drink and try to write commentary at the same time.

Here’s your dose of Carnival satire this week. The Nose on Your Face gives us the rioters in France earning accolades: “ exhausted but proud group of young Muslim participants awoke to discover that they had been named honorary United States sports fans.” And Mr. Right got a hold of an advance copy of a new poll to be conducted regarding President Bush. First question: What is your sex?

a) Male.
b) Female.
c) Transgendered.
d) Hermaphrodite.
e) Eunich.
f) Paid professional.
g) Self-serve only.

Read it all.

Random Yak gives us a brand new gold standard by which to measure cluelessness; The “Yak of the Week.” The inaugural award goes to his local high school principal for conduct becoming a truly clueless adult.

Will Franklin has the skinny on another reason the Republicans might lose the Senate next year; inadequate fund raising by the National Republican Senatorial Campaign Committee (NRSC). While their counterparts in the Republican party have been burying the Democrats in fund raising totals, the NSRC lags behind the Democrats. Thank you Libby Dole.

It Should Be Noted blog has a maddening piece on Forbes magazine publishing a “how to” on how to fight back against blogs. We are the blogs. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.

Kender gives us an in depth analysis of the French model of socialism. Funny how it appears to be the same model as every other socialist state except that no one else has Jacques Chirac ruining their countries.

Below the Beltway takes on the heady task of fisking Charles Krauthammer. Doug proves he knows what he’s talking about while Krauthammer doesn’t.

The Maryhunter believes that “Old Europe” is unraveling before our eyes. Excellent analysis along with the usual pithiness from TMH.

Lovely Pamela wants to “kill the messenger” who brings us news that it was Bush’s fault that Zarqawi and his Band of Merry Beheaders bombed Jordan. Would it help the MSM if they mentioned how gorgeous you are?

Raven has the scoop on PETA’s latest cluelessness. It seems that the moonbats are trying to make the point that “addiction to poultry” will make one susceptible to Bird Flu. You heard me.

Too bad they don’t put Van Helsing in charge of things in France. He’d have those riots stopped in a jiffy. The answer? Why, affirmative action, of course!

Josh Cohen has a piece on how some school systems are teaching them early. I wonder what they call this particular course of study; Moonbat 101?

Jay has “Top Ten Reasons to Stop the ACLU.” I sympathize with his dilemma – how do you whittle the list down to 10?

Adam from Adam’s Blog has some “Random Acts of Coolness.” Um…maybe he sent this to the wrong Carnival?

Pat Curley calls out the left on their charge that the press actually favors President Bush. Pat misunderstood. They were not talking about life in this universe but rather a parallel universe where up is down white is black, and reporters are all conservative Republicans.

Mark Coffey shakes and bakes the most clueless professional athlete around. Terrel Owens is a dick. And the only one who rivals the clueless Mr. Owen is his agent Drew Rosenhaus.

Reidblog has Pat Robertson’s latest sermon. I wonder what God thinks of someone who is always wanting to put lightening bolts in His hand?

Resistance is Futile has some snarky comments about pharmacies on his law school campus selling drug precursors for meth labs. You know the war on drugs is idiocy when sick people are made into criminals for just trying to get better.

Finally, here’s my take on Mary Mapes in Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary.

By: Rick Moran at 11:07 am | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (21)

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There were a couple of leading candidates for Cluebat of the Week this time around. Some would have been awarded on a collective basis (The French Government for their tepid response to rioting Muslims), some for individual achievement (Harry Reid’s stunt in closing the Senate). I even contemplated giving the first Lifetime Achievement Award to Jimmy Carter whose comments on foreign policy this week were particularly dumb.

In the end, it was really no contest however. Former FEMA Director Michael Brown wins in a walk.

If there was ever any doubt this guy should never have left the horse show business, it has been removed thanks to the most jaw dropping, head shaking series of emails ever dispatched by a government official. Some examples:

  • Two days after Katrina hit, Marty Bahamonde, one of the only FEMA employees in New Orleans, wrote to Brown that “the situation is past critical” and listed problems including many people near death and food and water running out at the Superdome. Brown’s entire response was: “Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?”
  • “Can I quit now? Can I come home?” Brown wrote to Cindy Taylor, FEMA’s deputy director of public affairs, the morning of the hurricane.
  • In the midst of the worst of the crisis, Brown wrote “Please roll up the sleeves of your shirt, all shirts. Even the president rolled his sleeves to just below the elbow. In this [crisis] and on TV you just need to look more hard-working.”
  • On August 29, the day of the storm, Brown exchanged e-mails about his attire with Taylor, Melancon said. She told him, “You look fabulous,” and Brown replied, “I got it at Nordstroms. ... Are you proud of me?” An hour later, Brown added: “If you’ll look at my lovely FEMA attire, you’ll really vomit. I am a fashion god.”

I know that there were many who disagreed with my analysis of the job Brown did during Katrina. While the state and local officials were mostly to blame for the out of control situation, I believe the Congressional investigation will show that Brown failed miserably to move the supplies that had been prepositioned prior to the hurricane making landfall. In short, what FEMA did have responsibility for, he dropped the ball.

Couple that with his inability to play well with the Democrats Nagin and Blanco and the trio of clueless clodhoppers ends up mucking up the biggest disaster in a century.

Those emails capture the cluelessness of the man perfectly. The fact that he is still drawing a salary forces me to give honorable mention to the entire Federal Government of the United States for not collectively kicking this guys rear end back to Oklahoma.

Why not peruse this week’s collection of half wits, nitwits, half brains, and no brains. I guarantee a laugh or two as well as a couple of posts that will raise your blood pressure. So sit back, strap it down, and take a trip into the Land of the Clueless.

“Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.”
(Former Notre Dame Football Coach Frank Leahy)

Hey Frank! It’s a damn shame Jimmy Carter never played for the Irish.

Giacomo speculates that Harry Reid’s request that President Bush “apologize” to the American people and that Karl Rove step down may have been written before Fitzgerald released the indictment of Libby and that Senator Roulette Wheel never changed the text. How else do you explain the Cluebat asking Rove to step down for not being indicted?

Mark Coffey returns to the Carnival in grand style as he absolutely skewers Markos Moulitsas Zúniga, AKA Kos, for having “zero political acumen.” Mark is too generous in his analysis of Kos’s political abilities. For a true reflection of that, perhaps he should be graded using Celsius – Zero equals minus 32.

Speaking of long time gone Carnival participants, my old buddy Ogre returns with an excellent rant against North Dakota’s clueless Senator Byron Dorgan who wrote a piece for USA today totally mis-characterizing oil company profits. Leave it to Ogre to set the loon right.

The Maryhunter has a great article on the Democratic Party’s cluelessness when it comes to defending the last bastion of liberalism in America – the courts.

Wonder Woman has a post entitled “Even a sycophantic psychopath has gotta have friends…” If you guessed it was about Hugo Chavez and Iranian Terrorist President Ahmadinejad, you win a cookie.

Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy has a new skin to her blog but same old Rottweiler attitude as she takes down Jonathan Alter for…well, read it all and then pity the poor soul for having several large bites taken out of his hide. Also, make sure you click the donate button on Beth’s site and give to Project Valour – IT. Read about it here and please be generous to this worthy cause.

Raven has a several breathtaking examples of liberal hypocrisy so profoundly disturbing, you’re going to want to read it twice just to make sure that your eyes weren’t deceiving you. Un. Be. Lievable.

Cao of Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) has some uproarious fun with a clueless troll. If you haven’t seen Cao take down a comment troll before, you are in for a real treat!

Uh-oh…Jay at Stop the ACLU is out of town and somehow Kender got the keys to his blog. Who will the Mad Scotsman have in his sights? Why, the ACLU of course!

If you don’t have Van Helsing at Moonbattery as one of your daily reads, you’re missing some of the best, the funniest stuff out there. Check out his post on Prince Charles and do not be drinking anything when you view the photoshop of “Prince Chaz.”

Anna Rose is blogging at The Right Place this week and has the lowdown on Michael Moore’s investment strategy and how it doesn’t quite jibe with his public utterances.

Miriam has a laugh out loud article on the Canadian moonbats virtually canceling Halloween. What’s next, no Christmas?

Carnival Pin-Up Girl Pamela has a post about the Three Stooges of the Senate – Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer, and Dick Durbin - and their see no WMD read no WMD attitude. Good Ms. Pamela reminds us of the facts, thank you.

Below the Beltway has it in for Republican Big Spenders as we all should. Read it and write your Congressman and Senators.

Josh Cohen has one of those “Only in the Entertainment Industry” articles about Harry Potter’s new movie and a clueless musical group named the “Wyrd Sisters.” A real head-shaker.

Check out Pat Curley’s picture of high school students at a University of Texas football game…or is it a “peace” rally? Looks like the youngsters need a little instruction in proper protest signage.

The lovely Mensa Barbie sent me this post on Houdini who made everyone look clueless as they marveled at his magic. Great links about the greatest magician of all time.

Is there any publication more clueless than the New York Times? Iris blog doesn’t think so as they got a lot of play in the sphere this week for exposing some jaw dropping anti-Israeli bias at the paper. Great job!

AJ at the Strata-Sphere has a great piece on Joe Wilson and the gigantic ego the poor guy is forced to carry around with him. What an arrogant POS.

Must read satire this week from the usual suspects: The Peace Moonbeam blog on “Our Mother Of Perpetual Peace And Publicity” Cindy Sheehan and Carnival regular The Nose on Your Face with Al Franken attacking a fan at a book signing who wanted the book signed for his cousin “Reagan F. Hannity Limbaugh III.”

Those pithy pachyderms at Elephants in Academia are taking on former Colin Powell aide Lawrence Wilkerson who sees cabals over at DoD. Maybe he really meant cables?

Remember Mary Mapes? Hoodlumman at File it Under does and has some additional queries that Mapes might have outside of her contention that the TANG memos were not forgeries. Elvis just wants his privacy, right Mary?

Adam of Adam’s Blog has some interesting insight into a local political catfight between two rivals who sling the mud as good as anyone. Good reporting on local issues in Boise, ID.

Philomatheon has a clueless professor whose published wishful thinking in the Wall Street Journal about what he thinks Iran wants nukes for makes me shudder that this kind of thinking could get most of us killed. Read it all and then remember that if Iran thinks for one moment that it could get away with allowing terrorists access to a nuke, they will do it in a heartbeat.

Orac Knows has the raised blood pressure post of the Carnival as he highlights the cluelessness of the parents of a 13 year old cancer patient who want to take the stricken child to Kansas for “Vitamin C Therapy.”

Jimmie K and I are on the same wavelength when it comes to the utter cluelessness of the French and their timid reaction to the riots.

Finally, here’s my take on Harry Reid and the damage he’s done to his party recently.

By: Rick Moran at 8:25 pm | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (11)

Watcher of Weasels linked with Weekly Roundup of Weekly Roundups
Below The Beltway linked with Carnival Monday
Multiple Mentality linked with Carnivalized!
Blog Carnival linked with Blog Carnival index: CARNIVAL OF THE CLUELESS #20

Calling all bloggers!

You have until tonight at 11:00 PM to get your entres in for this week’s Carnival of the Clueless.

Last week’s Carnival was the best yet with 24 entries from both the right and left side of the political spectrum hammering those individuals and groups among us who are truly clueless.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Each week, I’ll be calling for posts that highlight the total stupidity of a public figure or organization – either left or right – that demonstrates that special kind of cluelessness that only someone’s mother could defend…and maybe not even their mothers!

Everyone knows what I’m talking about. Whether it’s the latest from Bill Maher or the Reverend Dobson, it doesn’t matter. I will post ALL ENTRIES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED OR NOT..

You can enter by emailing me, leaving a link in the comments section, or by using the handy, easy to use form at Conservative Cat.

By: Rick Moran at 8:23 am | Permalink | Comments & Trackbacks (0)