Right Wing Nut House

Calling all bloggers!

You have until Monday night at 11:00 PM to get your entries in for this week’s Carnival of the Clueless.

Last week’s Carnival was the best yet with 34 entries from both the right and left side of the political spectrum hammering those individuals and groups among us who are truly clueless.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Each week, I’ll be calling for posts that highlight the total stupidity of a public figure or organization – either left or right – that demonstrates that special kind of cluelessness that only someone’s mother could defend…and maybe not even their mothers!

Everyone knows what I’m talking about. Whether it’s the latest from Bill Maher or the Reverend Dobson, it doesn’t matter. I will post ALL ENTRIES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED OR NOT..

You can enter by emailing me, leaving a link in the comments section, or by using the handy, easy to use form at Conservative Cat.

GLENN REYNOLDS SAYS “DON’T MISS IT!”

I’m sorry to disappoint all of you who thought that your post highlighted the most clueless cluebat of the week, but I’ve got him. In fact, this guy will definitely make the short list for Cluebat of the Year.

French Foreign Minister Philippe Douste-Blazy was in Israel on a state visit and was taken to the Holocaust Museum and Memorial Site in Jerusalem, Yad Vashem, On September 8 during the visit, he asked - while perusing maps of European sites where Jewish communities had been destroyed - whether British Jews were not also murdered. That is, he was under the impression that Britain had been conquered by Hitler during World War II. At least we assume that he knew that it was World War II that Hitler started and not the Peloponnesian War.

The minister apparently was not content with this answer, which was given by the museum curator, and persisted, asking: “Yes, but were there no Jews who were deported from England?”

How beautiful is that? First, he’s French. Second, he’s a prominent member of the Chirac government. Third, he’s an educated Frenchman, a doctor of medicine with a Masters in Biochemistry - so of course Chirac makes him head of the foreign office. Third, how delicious is it that he made a fool of himself in Israel!

Compare this former Minister of Culture and his education with our own Secretary of State Condi Rice’s educational pedigree; University of Denver cum laude and Phi Betta Kappa in Political Science at age 19. A Masters degree from the University of Notre Dame and PHD in International Studies from the University of Denver.

Making Philippe Douste-Blazy Minister of Foreign Affairs would be like Bush making Dr. Phil Secretary of State. And at least Dr. Phil seems like he’d be smart enough to keep his yap shut and not make an utter, clueless fool of himself on the international stage.

Okay..I’ve started us off on the right foot. Why not spend a relaxing few minutes perusing this week’s gaggle of goose-brained jamokes whose cluelessness has been highlighted by our excellent bloggers and blogettes.

Réussir au monde qu’elle n’est pas asse’à être stupide, vous doit également être poli. (To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.)
(Voltaire)

I dunno, Volty. It’s obvious you’re unfamiliar with the way French diplomacy works these days. “Rude and Stupid” is the title of the French Diplomat’s Handbook.
(Me)
**********************************************************************************

Wouldn’t you have loved being at the Hitchens-Galloway debate the other night? Well our Carnival Golden Girl Pamela from Atlas Shrugs was there and in her usual dainty, ladylike way hooted and hollered at Galloway and his moonbat supporters, drawing the ire of the lot of them. She’s got pics too!

The Squib has some interesting news from our friends north of the border and the Parti Quebecois. Evidently, the French-speaking seperatists will now require their candidates to be “floor-lickingly drunk.” Should make for an interesting campaign…in a French sort of way.

Van Helsing has Cindy Sheehan in the crosshairs of his crossbow (didn’t you people see the movie?) and regrets that the New Orleans “occupation troops” have been too professional to do the world a big favor.

Hey Ward Churchill fans! Those perspicuous pachyderms at Elephants in Academia have your updates for you. Um…make sure you step very carefully around there. Churchill left several steaming piles behind.

Pat Curley at Brainsters tells the story of a brainless hippy deported from Australia on rather specious grounds. The real story is found on the goofball’s website that includes some interesting ideas about what to do with money.

Beth at MVRWC has an absolutely hysterical post about her “Idiotarian Commenter of the Year.” Attention lefty wankers: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT venture there if you value your hide.

Harvey at Bad Example has some advice on “How not to run an NFL Website.” Being a fan of my beloved Bears, it doesn’t surprise me that the hated Packers are that clueless.

Northstar at The People’s Republic of Seabrook has the skinny on the clueless duo of Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney’s annulment after celebrating their fifth anniversary. That’s their fifth month anniversary.

The Soccer Dad takes on the mad mullah’s terrorist President, Mr. Ahmadinejad for his comments regarding the feds response to Katrina. I guess he forgot the fact that it took 6 days for his military and relief people to get to the site of Iran’s last earthquake. Must be the radiation from all that enriched uranium frying his brain.

Minh-Duc has written a fantastic essay on the Pledge of Alliegiance and why atheist Michael Newdow is barking up the wrong tree with his opposition to the words “under God” in the pledge. Great stuff from a Carnival favorite.

We’re all familiar with the fine art of fisking. Well AJ at The Strata-Sphere does a first class job of fisking Cindy Sheehan’s commentary via Michael Moore’s blog that’s as detailed and thorough a job as you’re going to see.

What’s this? One of our gentle homeschoolers at The Common Room being rude? America is truly in trouble if Equuschick can’t hold her tongue. Alas, read the post and you’ll see she was more than justified in her verbal takedown of a “generous” customer.

Tony at More than Loans worries that Bill O’Reilly now has him “defending” child molesters. Don’t worry, Tony. Mr. “O” has gotten to all of us at one time or another.

Mr. Right forgoes the satire this week (I know…I miss it too) but makes up for it by linking to what has to be the moonbattiest site on the internets.

Wonder Woman at North American Patriot has more on Cindy Sheehan and her Magical Mystery Bus Tour. Check out WW’s site for some excellent commentary from a “conservative atheist.” (Join the club!)

Not content with trying to ban smoking outdoors on your own property, the PRMC (People’s Republic of Montgomery County), according to Matt Johnston, has now decided to inhibit free speech - once again on your own property. Would somone please send the Montgomery County Commissioners a copy of the US Constitution?

Mensa Barbie dons a skintight fireproof racing suit (I wonder if she likes NASCAR?) to give us the most clueless world record listed in Guiness. Judging by the result, the gentleman’s work should be exhibited at the Guggenheim as a sterling example of modern art.

Cao at Cao’s Blog sums up the firestorm over the “Crescent of Embrace” in the memorial for the passengers of Flight #93. Excellent piece with some original thinking.

Fausta at Bad Hair Blog “unmasks” Hugo Chavez for the moonbat moron that he is. Maybe “The Laughing Goat” is reading the tea leaves a little too closely.

Mean Ole Meany is picking on Mary Landrieu so you don’t have to. Now, what’s this about his female dog named “Roger” and Blackjack Dealer School?

Reaganites Unite want us to turn down Vincente “Crazy like a” Fox’s offer to flood the US with laborers to help rebuild New Orleans. As if they don’t have enough problems already…

Flash! The Nose on your Face informs us that the same judge who ruled the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional has now ruled that the Constitution itself is unconstitutional! Great political satire!

Raven takes the Euro-twits to task for their attitude toward Iran’s suggestion that it share its nuke technology with other Islamic states. Quoth the Raven: Nevermore. “It’s all a bunch of bulls**t. Iran has no interest in energy production and anyone who believes this should live in France or Germany.”

Scientist-philosopher Bergbikr from TMH Bacon Bits takes on that noted Climatologist (or is it gynecologist?) Bill Clinton for his comments on global warming and hurricanes on Meet the Press. Wasn’t that debunked within about 15 minutes of when it first appeared?

Miriam pines for the good old days when women had never heard of PMS and no one had ever heard of “midlife crisis.”

Robbie at Urbangrounds has some issues with Rolling Stone Magazine and their editorial policy. How a great mag went south. Pity.

Batya at Shiloh Musings spanks Likud leader Uzi Landau for comparing himself to Harry Truman. I agree with Batya that the party of Begin has seen better days and better leadership.

Watching Barbara Boxer is a full time job for Elisa at Boxer Watch. There are times, Elisa says, when Babs makes her job too easy!

Mark Coffey has the perfect machine for those of us missing our daily laughfest from the New York Times editorial page. It’s “The Times-o-Matic.”

Mr. Satire blesses us with two uproarious posts this week: “President Bush Asks Nagin, Blanco and Brown To Evacuate Americans to Andromeda Galaxy” and “Mephitic French PM de Villepin Suggests Shower and Soap To Combat Welfare Fraud.

Finally, here’s my takedown of one of the lefty trolls who email me from time to time.

Calling all bloggers!

You have until Monday night at 10:00 PM to get your entries in for this week’s Carnival of the Clueless.

Last week’s Carnival was the best yet with 34 entries from both the right and left side of the political spectrum hammering those individuals and groups among us who are truly clueless.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Each week, I’ll be calling for posts that highlight the total stupidity of a public figure or organization – either left or right – that demonstrates that special kind of cluelessness that only someone’s mother could defend…and maybe not even their mothers!

Everyone knows what I’m talking about. Whether it’s the latest from Bill Maher or the Reverend Dobson, it doesn’t matter. I will post ALL ENTRIES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED OR NOT..

You can enter by emailing me, leaving a link in the comments section, or by using the handy, easy to use form at Conservative Cat.

The Carnival is back!

GLENN REYNOLDS SAYS “DON’T MISS IT!”

Simonides: Judah Ben Hur! You’ve come back to us like a returning faith! I want to laugh again, Judah.
Judah Ben-Hur: We will laugh.
Simonides: Laugh, amidst the dust and cobwebs… [sobs]
(Ben Hur: 1959)

It may surprise you to learn that the #1 best selling work of fiction in the history of the United States - at least as far as a percentage of contemporary population - is not a book by Stephen King or any other contemporary author. It is, in fact, Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ by a mediocre Civil War general and failed politician by the name of Lew Wallace. It has had hundreds of reprintings and has been translated into more than 70 languages. By the late 1890’s, perhaps something on the order of 25% of the literate population of the US had read the book, numbers if translated today would dwarf any other work of fiction by tens of millions.

The story is one of renewal and redemption. These are themes we should certainly be thinking about over the next months as we observe the rebuilding of the Gulf Coast following the most destructive and expensive national disaster in American history.

The faith found by Judah to replace the hate and anger in his heart - a faith that was kindled when he heard Jesus on the cross forgive his executioners and he “felt his words take the sword from my hand” - could hold some lessons for us in these trying days. Perhaps the politicization of the relief efforts surrounding the aftermath of the hurricane was inevitable. Frustration on the left at Bush’s presidency exploded into recrimination almost before hurricane force winds moved inland from the stricken areas on the coast. And the predictable push back by those of us on the right who were at first taken aback by the ferocity of the attacks and then frustrated ourselves at some of the coverage in the MSM has not been a very edifying display for the rest of the world to see.

This is politics in America at the turn of the 21st century. Troubling to some, tiring to many more, I am clueless as to how to fix it or who can fix it or even if it needs fixing. There have been many periods in American history where this kind of partisanship has been the norm. We’ve survived it and gone on to thrive as a nation and a people. I suspect the same will happen here.

That said, sit right down in your easy chair and let your face assume that Carnival stare! Perhaps laughing at ourselves is the best medicine after all.

The American people are very generous people and will forgive almost any weakness, with the possible exception of stupidity.
(Will Rogers)

Right again, Will! Just ask Michael Brown.
(Me)
*********************************************************************

Mark Coffey is asking why Eleanor Clift isn’t writing for the New York Times since her clueless screeds fit right in with the MoDo-Krugman-Rich Bush bashers.

Smart and sexy, Mensa Barbie has a jaw dropping story about an Alaskan man who doesn’t have a clue how lucky he is. And to prove how clueless this walrus brain really is, he sues his saviors.

Matt Johnston wonders if the clueless left has their own version of the Constitution of the United States. I’ve often wondered that myself…

Fred Fry has our first entry in the “Sean Penn for Cluebat of the Year” contest. What possessed this guy - besides a healthy dose of hubris - to go into a hurricane ravaged city in the first place?

Jebediah, subbing for Bill Teach on White Trash Wednesday, wonders what planet the dynamic disaster duo of Blanc-o-Nagin comes from.

Kim, subbing for Raven over at And Rightly So wonders if Bill Clinton is actually a First Lady (man?) in waiting. Kim refuses to call the ex-despoiler a man - a designation that may in fact become moot if Hillary becomes President.

The Maryhunter tracks down some past cluelessness of the New York Times on flood control advocacy. When is the Times going to learn there’s an internet out there?

Cao of Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) uncovers some interesting associations between Cindy Sheehan (whose Magicial Mystery Bus tour came within a stone’s throw of where I sit this week) and Neo-Nazis. Birds of a feather…

Our friends at The Common Room offer two clueless creeps this week as the Headmistress wonders why Mayor Nagin turned down the use of an Amtrak train that could have evacuated hundreds while Equushick has an interesting question about Sean Penn.

Beth is on a rant again. This time it’s against rich hotel guests in New Orleans whose story reveals a “Trail of Idiocy.”

Josh Cohen has moved to some new digs but still has time to clue us in on some cluelessness in the radio industry. Josh wondered how long it would take advertisers to start cashing in on Katrina…Question answered.

Giacomo has found some (gasp!) cluelessness at the Huffington Post! This time it’s Nathan Gardells who comes in for a well deserved spanking.

Van Helsing buries a woodens stake in the heart of Richard Cohen who seems to have found something wrong with John Roberts. In the immortal words of Gomer Pyle “Well Suh-prahz, suh-prahz!”

The folks at Different River skewer al-Reuters for a bizarre article about hurricane victims in Utah. What part of “Christian charity” don’t the knuckleheads at Reuters understand?

The SoCal Pundit has some choice words for the UN and their so-called reform package. Did you know Kofi “I am not a crook” Annan was going to write them himself?

Orac has an incredible expose of one of the major urban legends that have grown up around the hurricane aftermath. To bogus stories like the 2 year old with the throat cut and canniblism can be added the euthanizing of patients by doctors before evacuating. Excellent and original work!

Here’s a trio of satires that will leave you rolling on the floor. First up is Mr. Satire himself whose site is not safe for work. How does “Black Cannibalism Resurfaces While Katrina Subsides” sound ?

Then there’s the incomparable Mr. Right and his homage to one of my favorite bands. The hurricane and “Bohemian Rhapsody?” Don’t worry, it works!

Finally, The Nose on your Face has “Bush’s Hurricane-Blame Numbers Take A Scary Dip.” The site’s motto says it all: “News so fake you’ll swear it came from the mainstream media.”

The Enticy Institute has the politics of brain function…or is it the brain function of politics?

Don Surber has a strange one from the Nebraska State Fair where officials wanted to shut down an “Oxygen Bar.” Oxygen as a prescription drug? Yikes!

Jay at Stop the ACLU has an Open Letter to ACLU Members. We hope it does some good, but we’re doubtin’ it.

Lovely Pamela at Atlas Shrugs has a dainty, ladylike question for the cluebats who accepted a design for the Flight #93 memorial that included a “Crescent of Embrace” in their design: “Are we f**king crazy or am I in a lunatic asylum and just don’t know it?” Um…good point.

Willisms wonders about the disparity between rank and file voters of the two parties and their attitudes toward the state of Israel. Who’s clueless here? Perhaps Jewish voters should take a second look at Republicans.

Poca-Dot Blog has a quiz. Every time I see this thing I wonder how we can have cluelessness like that exhibited by George Galloway.

Harvey at Bad Example proves absolutely conclusively and beyond the shadow of a doubt that Katrina was in fact George Bush’s fault.

Northstar at People’s Republic of Seabrook asks some very penetrating and relavant questions about FEMA’s role in the disaster.

A North American Patriot asks the question of the week; where were all the 9/11 tributes from the left? Not the first blogger to notice the left’s forgetfullness but with a little more pointed query: “Heads in the sand…Or heads up their asses?”

The smartest pachyderms on the planet - Elephants in Academia - has some real cluelessness on the part of the Washington Post in their coverage of The Freedom Walk on Sunday.

Jimmie K wonders “Where did all the Democrats Go?” at a “coming together” event in Maryland. It being September 11, they were probably sleeping - just like America for the 8 years prior to the attacks.

AJ at Strata-Sphere has been on top of the “Crescent controversy” regarding the Flight #93 memorial and has some choice words for dummies who accepted the design saying it was “the most ignorant and unfeeling act of ‘art’ ever produced in this country. Amen.

Mean Ole Meany is really, really mean and nasty to Cluebat Hall of Famer Michael Moore for writing a letter to people who voted for Bush. Talking about Michael Brown’s qualifications and Moore’s girth is spot on I’d say.

Gentle Miriam laments the passing of Labor Day as a meaninful holiday and wonders it isn’t time to change.

The Skwib has a piece on one of the most exciting scientific hunts in history. Will we be able to find the source of “Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSMS), also known as Pastafarianism?” I hope they find it before I give in to this irresistable craving to go out to dinner at an Italian restaurant…

Finally, here’s my own piece on the exhiliration exhibited by the left as Bush’s numbers fell in the aftermath of the disaster. “Dancing on the Graves of Black People.”

Due to issues with my hosting company yesterday (and today), and in the aftermath of Katrina, I’ve made the unilateral decision to cancel this week’s Carnival of the Clueless.

To the 35 bloggers who submitted posts, I humbly beg your pardon and hope that you will continue to support the Carnival by submitting posts in the future.

Yesterday, I was unable to access the Admin page on my site for several hours due to slow page loading brought on by some truly monster traffic. I expect something similar today which is why I’ve decided that rather than try and publish tomorrow, we just hold off until next week.

If you’d like to know more about the Carnival, go here.

If you’d like to participate in next week’s Carnival, you can leave a link to your post in the comments or visit Conservative Cat and fill out Ferdy’s handy Carnival Submission Form.

Congress is still in recess. The President is still on vacation. Howard Dean has been tied up, gagged, and put into cold storage for a couple of weeks. Hurricane Katrina has knocked the Cindy Sheehan Show off the nets. Teddy Kennedy is waddling around Hyannis Port.

Where have all the cluebats gone?

We are, cluelessly speaking, in the doldrums. Now the doldrums is an actual place. I bet you didn’t know that. They’re located about halfway between Africa and South America. The trade winds coming from the south and the north meet near the equator. These converging trade winds produce general upward winds as they are heated, so there are no steady surface winds. Sailing vessels are routinely becalmed in the doldrums. And that’s pretty much where we find ourselves with this edition of the Carnival.

But fret not. The Senate Judiciary Committee will begin hearings next week on the Roberts nomination. I predict an avalanche of cluelessness coming from both Democrats and Republicans as the former sees Roberts as the devil incarnate and the latter as the resurrected spirit of Oliver Wendell Holmes. And Mr. Roberts will play along and try to answer questions from Senator Biden that will inevitably begin with “Now I don’t want to know your position on abortion, but…” which then turns into a grilling on the good judge’s position on abortion. If nothing else, it will be more entertaining than watching Congress trying to do something important like reforming Social Security or getting serious about illegal immigration.

So without further eloquence, here’s this week’s collection of clueless clodhoppers brought to you by some of the best writers on the web.

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
(Will Rogers)

Ah Will! Howard Dean and the Democrats asks themselves that question every day of the week!
(Me)

Cao of Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) features a Code Pink cluebat protesting against wounded soldiers in front of Walter Reed army hospital who’s cluelessness extends to a problem the young man has with sexual identification. And doesn’t he realize that one never accessorizes knits with cotton?

The Maryhunter of TMH Bacon Bits shows the error of Lewis M.Simons reasoning in his expert takedown of the ex-marine turned cluebat whose piece against the war appeared in last Sunday’s Washington Post Outlook section. Funny how logic and reason defeat hysteria and hyperbole every time.

The partying pachyderms at Academic Elephants have a good time goring Cluebat Hall of Famer Charlie Rangel who questioned Vice President Cheney’s fitness for office in aq radio interview. Says Rangel: “He’s got heart disease, but the disease is not restricted to that part of his body. He grunts a lot, so you never really know what he’s thinking. Quoth the Elephants: “[T]here is a sickness eating away at the left, which is allowing its hysterical and impotent rage lead it into increasingly paranoid fantasies about its opponents.”

Bob at Stop the ACLU brings us more complete stupidity from a group whose activities have less and less to do with “civil liberties” and more to do with enabling licentiousness. This time, the ACLU is trying to block the sale of optional internet filters to keep porn away from kids. Are the filters perfect? No in that they do occasionally filter out things like pictures of Michaelangelo’s David. But it’s hardly an issue for a group purporting to be upholding civil liberties.

Two Dogs at Mean ole Meany has become quite the pen pal of John Kerry. Despite unsubscribing twice from the Senator’s email list, (and being addressed in the salutation as “Dear Two”) they continue to allow Two Dogs to make them look like the idiots they really are.

Speaking of John Kerry, Pat over at Brainsters takes us down memory lane to relive some of Kerry’s pathetic attempts to look like a regular guy. Please note when trying to catch the football he has his eyes closed. Sort of symptomatic of not only his campaign for the presidency but his entire approach to public policy.

Fred Frey’s headline says it all: “UN Blames US for African Condom Shortage!” This comes as a surprise to US policy makers who eagerly support the use of condoms - along with abstinence and faithfulness to one’s partner - as the best way to stop the AIDS pandemic in Africa. That doesn’t stop UN bureaucrats from bashing the US whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Gullyborg at Resistence is Futile tackles the Governor of Oregon for raising emission standards for autos to the point that fewer new cars will be bought thus increasing pollution because older cars not subject to the same standards will still be on the road. Too much sense for a moonbat politician to digest.

Mark Rayner at The Skwib wrote a hilarious bit about Jon Carroll at the San Francisco Chronicle. The article in which Mr. Carroll tries to debunk ID, contains this eye opening bit of cluelessness: “Scientists have been studying the origin and nature of life on earth for at least 4,000 years.” Mark says, Uh-Huh: “Look at this ancient Egyptian centrifuge. Originally, we thought it was used to removed the liquefied brains out of skulls.” Hee.

Mark Coffey tears Frank Rich a new one for his column “The Vietnamization of Bush’s Vacation.” What is it about the left and Viet Nam? I mean, were the 60’s really all that great?

AJ at the Strata-Sphere has a frightening piece about some absent minded scientists in a couple of unamed Southeast Asian countries who just can’t seem to remember where they put some of that radioactive stuff like Cobalt and such. The Australian scientists who discovered that the stuff was unsecured refused to name the culprit countries until the material was under lock and key. Well, duh!

How about a little Mr Satire with your milk and cookies? Just make sure you put down the milk before you dig into “Venezuelan President Offers Free Gasoline and 10% Discount On Brain Smog Check To Americans” or “High Pregnancy Rate In High School Spurrs Debate About Intelligent Design And Evolution.” (Not safe for work)

Buckley F. Williams has found something that should have been as plain as The Nose on your Face. In fact, this revelation will rock the anti-war movement to its foundations. Cindy Sheehan is actually an out of work actor. And Buckley has the pictures to prove it!

From our “What else do you expect from a bunch of Euro-Twits” Department, Van Helsing brings us a stranger than fiction tale of a library in Denmark in which you can check out not only books, magazines, and movies but human beings as well. No, that’s not a misprint. Says the library Director: “The customers can rent a veiled Muslim woman and finally ask her all the questions they would never dare to ask if they met her on the street.” Isn’t that swell? The possibilities are endless. Maybe they can add a terrorist to their inventory. Or a serial killer.

Drew at Conservative Outpost rants against Mother Sheehan for her despicable comments about mothers who have lost a son in Iraq who support the President. Calling them “continue the murder and mayhem” moms” it seems that the less people pay attention to her, Mother Sheehan’s rhetorical excesses reach new heights of moonbattery, something Drew points out nicely.

Ze’ev from Israel Perspectives: Feeling ‘Right’ at Home is angry at those who want to have it both ways when it comes to holocaust comparisons. Says Ze’ev: “I take offense with the hypocrisy of many in Israel who have offered strong condemnation for those who have made allusions of comparison between the “Disengagement” and the Holocaust, while they themselves have cheapened the memory of the Holocaust through comparisons of their own when it has suited their needs”

Wonder Woman harangues Hugo Chavez for crying crocodile tears over Pat Robertson’s idiotic statements about assassinating him last week and asks Jesse Jackson a rather direct and pertinent question about criticizing people who advocate killing President Bush. I smell a double standard.

Not to be outdone, Tom Bowler finds out that some of the same people criticizing Robertson today said something eerily similar about Saddam just a few years ago. I think the left should have a meeting and decide which leaders we should be assassinating and which ones we shouldn’t. Just to clear up any misunderstandings.

Miriam from Miriam’s Ideas has an oldy but goody that questions the Jerusalem Post’s editorial policies. And I’m very happy to hear that she’s “pro-tango.” So am I.

Giacomo from Joust the Facts features the not-so-deep thoughts of Hollywood bad boy Sean Penn on his “peace” mission to Iran. What kind of hubris do you think it takes to actually believe that people are interested in anything you might have to say about Iran, Sean? We don’t even care what you have to say about Madonna anymore!

Kid Various from The Idiom Blog has a short, funny bit about stupid criminals. Cluelessness is indeed a policeman’s best friend.

Dave at Short Final, Cleared to Land takes on Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi regarding what had to be the most clueless editorial written last week. If generalities and formless bromides could win the War on Terror, Reid and Pelosi would go down in history as the architects of the winning strategy.

Mr. Right has a liberal’s interpretation of the Constitution. Hey! Why are there so many things crossed out? And some of that language looks a little unfamiliar.

Ken at Am I a Pundit Now Blog directs some well deserved scorn at Huffington Post as he praises the only poster at the site who makes any sense, Greg Gutfeld.

As Neddy at Kerfluffles points out, the liberals who run the Associated Press are a piece of work. The article criticizing the President’s gasoline expenditures as President got a lot of play this week, as well it should have. Such idiocy deserves to be highlighted.

Elisa at Boxer Watch has some interesting statistics about Cindy Sheehan, Iraq, and Jerry Springer as well as some real stupidity on the part of the American people. Example: 27% of Americans believe there is a cure for cancer but its being withheld by the healthcare industry. They can’t all be members of the Democratic Underground!

Finally, I take Cindy Sheehan on a Magical Mystery Tour.

Calling all bloggers!

You have until Monday night at 10:00 PM to get your entries in for this week’s Carnival of the Clueless.

Last week was the best yet with 35 entries from both the right and left side of the political spectrum hammering those individuals and groups among us who are truly clueless.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Each week, I’ll be calling for posts that highlight the total stupidity of a public figure or organization – either left or right – that demonstrates that special kind of cluelessness that only someone’s mother could defend…and maybe not even their mothers!

Everyone knows what I’m talking about. Whether it’s the latest from Bill Maher or the Reverend Dobson, it doesn’t matter. I will post ALL ENTRIES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED OR NOT..

You can enter by emailing me, leaving a link in the comments section, or by using the handy, easy to use form at Conservative Cat.

Huhray…Huhray…Huhray…Step right up ladies and gents. See the strangest and oddest collection of cluebats on planet earth! “If they’re clueless, we’ve got ‘em” is our motto. Die-rect from Washington city and all points west, north, south, and east! Huhary…Huhray…Huhray…Step right up…

Okay, so I would have failed as a carnival barker. In truth, we don’t need no stinking barker to highlight this week’s souls whose capacity for rational thought was either an afterthought of the almighty or a qualification the Lord never considered adding to their intellectual makeup in the first place.

Our lineup of cluebats is ripped from this week’s headlines…kind of like Law and Order but without Angie Harmon (You can tell the last time I watched that show). I mean we’ve got “Team America Assassin” Pat Robertson, Arlen Specter, Chuck (The Ghost of Viet Nam Past) Hagel, “Mother (******)” Sheehan, as well as the usual lineup of local loonies, national nincompoops, and international idiotarians.

So take off your shoes and set a spell. Sample the grist of the blogosphere mill where cluebats are ground to dust and truth, justice, and good old fashioned American fisking is elevated to an art form.

“Stupidity is better kept a secret than displayed”
(Heraclitus of Ephesus (Greek philosopher remembered for his cosmology)

“Yo Hercules! It’s pretty clear you haven’t visited Crawford, Texas lately.”
(Me)

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Mr. Right of The Right Place channels Monty Python and comes up with an hilarious spoof of Holy Grail repressed peasants. As with all good satire, it has just enough truth in it to make you think and laugh at the same time.

Van Helsing of Moonbattery fires a silver bullet into the heart of Frank Rich’s excreable article this week that defends Cindy Sheehan by smearing her detractors. Frank should go back to reviewing restaurants where he prevented people from getting indigestion instead of causing it as he does now.

Wonder Woman at North American Patriot has a few words for Hollywood bad boy, peace activist, and supporter of tyrants Sean Penn. Sean recently paid a visit to the mad Mullah’s theocratic paradise in Iran and came away saying “The Iranians are like, kewl.” Given Penn’s track record with his treatment of women, it’s no wonder he feels an affinity for gimlet-eyed Revolutionary Guardsmen who are known to beat women in the street if they’re not properly “covered.”

Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality is angry at radio station programmers who have cut their playlists dramatically. Josh even goes after XM Satellite radio stations. Darn! And I was just about to get one.

Mark Coffey at Decision ‘08 has a question for Pat Robertson that sounds a lot like that Dierks Bentley song “What was I Thinking?” Mark should have known that Bentley’s song which is about a late night tryst with a ” little white tank top sitting right there in the middle by me” is not inThe 700 Club’s Top Ten Countdown.

The lovely Pamela (Official Carnival Poster Girl(r)) of Atlas Shrugs has a few hundred choice words for the left and their defeatism with regards to the Iraq War. She points out you can’t start an anti-war movement with smoke and mirrors. Since the left is blowing plenty of smoke - both literally and figuratively - in Crawford, she has a good point.

Speaking of Camp Casey, Beth sends us a link to the Camp Casey Now website where they are asking “Numbers at Camp Casey: Is this the best we could do?” A point that seems to be lost on the MSM who keep reporting about the “growing encampment” at Moonbatville. You don’t think that the press would like, you know, exaggerate or anything, do you?

Giacomo at Joust the Facts seems confused…or is he? He can’t make up his mind about which is the silliest column he’s ever read; Paul Krugman or Frank Rich? He solves the problem by taking them on together. Giacomo proves himself to be ambi-cluebat.

Fred Frey asks a simple question: “Would Europe Go to War Over Oil?” His answer, like Jeopardy, is in the form of another question: ‘Can Europe go to war?’ I guess that depends. If the bloodthirsty jihadists let the Europeans use insulting rhetoric, virulent anti-Americanism, and abject surrender as weapons, the Europeans will win hands down.

William Teach at Pirates Cove hoists the black flag and goes after Paul Krugman and his mysterious vote count studies from the 2000 election. Bill also gives Mr. Enron Adviser a lesson in party identification.

Cao of Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) is asking Mother Sheehan some tough questions in “Run Cindy, Run.” She also makes some excellent points about the hangers’ on who have surrounded the grieving mother. Great post!

Speaking of great posts, here’s one from Raven at And Rightly So about original Cluebat Hall of Famer Ward Churchill and the trouble he’s in with the University of Colorado Board. Raven says “Faster, please.”

Carnival regular Minh-Duc at State of Flux - always thoughtful and a good read - has an interesting post taking on two Op-Ed writers at the Washington Post (Ayako Doi and Kim Willenson) who wrote a piece decrying the loss of Japanese pacifism. Two more cluebats who went to sleep on 9/10/01 and woke up on September 12.

Ferdinand T. Cat is the most thoughtful cat blogger in the Shadow Media. The fact that he’s the only cat who blogs regularly may have something to do with that. At any rate, how many othe cats can royally fisk a moonbat psychologist who has connected pedophiles and Star Trek watchers? And my little ones heartily endorse Ferdy’s brand of conservatism.

AJ at The Strata-Sphere sends up the Washington Post for their coverage of the mad Mullah’s desire for a nuclear weapon. AJ asks the right question: “When you see a story that almost says Iran’s nuclear power program is not tied to nuclear bombs - you have to wonder where these reporters are coming from?

New World Man gives us the skinny on Ohio Governor and scion of a famous Republican family Robert Taft and his problems with sticky fingers. Is pleading “no contest” the same as pleading guilty? Uh… Yep.

How about a little satire with your breakfast cereal this morning? The Nose on your Face has a riotously funny take on the Air America finanical imbroglio with special attention to AA Chairman Evan Cohen’s efforts to “raise his father from the dead.”

And what would Carnival satire be without Mr. Satire himself! (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) He reports today on a homosexual marraige in the middle east between two Kuwaiti men. Where did it take place? “…in Hilton Ramses Hotel in Cairo, located at the rear of the Gay Liberation Square.” Read it all.

No Woodstock in the Czech Republic as a music festival billed as Czechtek ran into a little trouble. According to Taylor Buley of Fresh Politics when the youngsters were denied access to the festival, they made like it was 1989 and protested - which was promptly rudely interrupted by some clueless Czech police. Excellent coverage of an underreported event. (Nice blog too. Check ‘em out)

Will Franklin shows the anti-war crowd, in terms that they can understand (polls, of course) why they’re barking up the wrong tree when it comes to making Mother Sheehan an icon for the anti-war movement. Franklin: “Her 15 minutes needed to be up 16 minutes ago.” That just about covers it.

For a completely different take on the Cindy Sheehan issue, the bravest liberal in the blogosphere Northstar (our only left-wing regular) from the People’s Republic of Seabrook pulls no punches whatsoever in this post skewering Vice President Cheney entitled “Hail to the Chickenhawk in Chief.” Be nice, now. Be nice. We’ll not be supressing any opinions here today.

The next two posts take back all the nice things these bloggers said about Senator Bill Frist after he came out in favor of funding embryonic stem cell research. First, Orac of Respectfully Submitted takes a “vacations interruptus” to club the Presidential wannabe over the head for his remarks on intelligent design.

Ditto for Doug at Below the Beltway whose rant against Senator Frist includes the good Doctor’s motivation for his position: “Frist needs to establish his bona fides with the evangelical Republicans who dominate the Republican primary process in many states important to getting the 2008 nomination.” I would say that’s spot on.

Don Surber has an extraordinary post highlighting some cluelessness you have to read to believe about a baby killer and the $50,000 he won in a court of law. This is in addition to the $25,000 the state paid to fix the killer’s teeth.

Urban Grounds has another story almost too ridiculous to be true. This one is about a killer who was arrested while in the funeral procession for the person he killed! Was the family of the victim grateful? Absolutely not! Read it all and try to keep your jaw from dropping to the floor.

More unbelievable cluelessness brought to you by Pstupidonymous. This one is about a man who was hit by a Taser gun for stealing a salad at Chuckee Cheese. Who’s more clueless? The police for using excessive force or someone stupid enough to even eat salad from Chuckee Cheese in the first place? We report, you decide.

Like explaining things to a two year old child, Mean Ole Meany patiently (I know, completely out of character for Two Dogs) explains how Mother Sheehan’s grief doesn’t give her any more “perspective” than anyone else. If only the splodeydopes would listen.

More on the Chuck Hagel nonsense from Jimmie K at But That’s JustMy Opinion. Jimmie links to an article that says a lot about Hagel’s idea of party loyalty during wartime.

The Maryhunter at TMH Bacon Bits has one of the strangest science stories of the year involving some clueless ecologists who want to re-introduce “predators” back into the North American eco-system. Saw a cartoon referencing the story with Bill Clinton standing in a wilderness and saying “I smell intern.”

The Headgirl at The Common Room brings us a strange bit of cluelessness on the part of some motivational speakers who may as well have been twins seperated at birth. Another gentle, humorous takedown from our education-friendly friends.

Speaking of education friendly, how about our buds at Elephants in Academia giving a thorough and well deserved spanking to Senator Arlen Specter for his remarks on the “window of opportunity” we have in making a deal with Venezualean’s strutting peacock of a dictator Hugo Chavez. Yeah, right.

Matt from Going to the Mat has an interesting story about some clueless local school officials who seem to have erred in building an elementary school - at least as far as its location. Says Matt: “A crosswalk without a stoplight on a busy, four-lane highway is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.” Needless to say, the parents are up in arms.

From the “When will they ever learn Department” the ACLU has equated religion with terror. Jay of Stop the ACLU has a link to this statement by a local ACLU moonbat: ““They believe that they answer to a higher power, in my opinion. Which is the kind of thinking that you had with the people who flew the airplanes into the buildings in this country, and the people who did the kind of things in London.” Un.Be.Lievable.

Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy gives us the outrage of the week. The city of San Francisco and their refusal to play host to the World War II era battleship the USS Iowa because of (wait for it) The Iraq War! Damn their moonbat souls to hell.

Speaking of hell, here’s my take on Pat Robertson’s bid to make it into the cluebat Hall of Fame.

NOTE: Next week’s Carnival will return to its regular slot on Tuesday

Due to my hosting this week’s Bonfire of the Vanities, the deadline for entering this week’s Carnival of the Clueless has been extended to Tuesday evening 10:00 PM eastern.

Last week was the best yet with 36 entries from both the right and left side of the political spectrum hammering those individuals and groups among us who are truly clueless.

Here’s what we’re looking for:

Each week, I’ll be calling for posts that highlight the total stupidity of a public figure or organization – either left or right – that demonstrates that special kind of cluelessness that only someone’s mother could defend…and maybe not even their mothers!

Everyone knows what I’m talking about. Whether it’s the latest from Bill Maher or the Reverend Dobson, it doesn’t matter. I will post ALL ENTRIES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER I AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED OR NOT..

You can enter by emailing me, leaving a link in the comments section, or by using the handy, easy to use form at Conservative Cat.

I suppose I could have named this week’s Carnival “The Cindy Sheehan Cluebat Hall of Fame Edition.” Judging by volume of posts, she would have been an automatic inductee. Heck, we even could have waived the mandatory 3 year waiting period for membership.

But that wouldn’t be entirely accurate. Some people think Mrs. Sheehan is clueless. Others believe she’s a cold, calculating radical who has surrounded herself with some of the more nauseating elements of the anti-semitic and anti-American left.

What do I think? Hell, I just work here. But if someone were to ask me I’d say that we should highlight the gimlet-eyed radicals who have captured her little floor show while asking “Mother Sheehan” some pretty hard questions about some of her kookier ideas. Like, does she really believe that the war in Iraq is a neo-con/Israel conspiracy? In short, we should do the MSM’s work for them given their predisposition to downplay some of the more unattractive aspects of Mrs. Sheehan’s campout while playing up the dramatic confrontation with the President. They don’t seem eager to cash out Mrs. Sheehan’s chips just yet.

That said, fear not! We have plenty of other fodder for this week’s Carnival. The clueless, like the Force, will always be with us. So pop a cold one and browse through this week’s riot of idiocies. You won’t regret it.

Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and formal education positively fortifies it.
(Scott Adams, Cartoonist)

Hey Scottie! I see you’re familiar with “No Child Left Behind.”
(Me)

Different River has a long, rewarding post on people - including the Israeli government - who are using a double standard in supporting the uprooting of settlers in Gaza. An excellent primer on the issue as well as some interesting perspectives. Well done.

Do not ever get Beth at My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy mad at you. Cindy Sheehan comes a cropper of Beth’s towering rant. And if strong language bothers you, as Beth would say “tough.”

For an immediate look at the other side, northstar from The People’s Republic of Seabrook skewers the President for….well, just about everything, including the smirk. “You can’t experience what you don’t feel” is the title of the post.

The Headmistress at the Common Room, as is her wont, gently takes down a customer at a book sale who demonstrates a cluelessness that alas, is becoming more and more common these days.

Matt at Going to the Mat has my vote for a finalist in cluebat of the week. Read the linked article about a man so absent minded that he…well, I won’t spoil it. But like Matt says, the guy will probably be “couch camping” for a few days.

Orac at Respectful Insolence does a calypso dance on top of Harry Belefonte’s clueless head. Judging by Mr. Belefonte’s comments, he doesn’t know his arse from his Adams apple.

Jay at Stop the ACLU brings to our attention the ACLU’s campaign to legalize (not “decriminalize”) drugs. It’s a satisfying emotional argument but the practicality of the proposals are, as Jay points out, “incredibly elitist and irresponsible.”

Bill Martin, Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada sends us this link that demonstrates some North of the Border cluelessness about privacy laws and a 15 year old murder case.

The SoCal Pundit gives us a twofer this week, fisking Cluebat Hall of Famer Paul Krugman and clueless columnist Paul Craig Roberts for some querrelous comments on the economy.

Elisa is watching Barbara Boxer at Boxer Watch but this week sends us a curious rant from a blogger that calls Elisa a “McVeigh-loving right-winger.” Methinks that blogger needs a little adjustment of their tin foil hat.

Raven from And Rightly So (posting at Flight Pundit) has one of the stranger nominees this week. It seems the bloodthirsty jihadists at Guantanamo are going ga-ga over Harry Potter. Maybe they see a kindred spirit in some of the monsters.

Pstupidonymous sends us a link to this clueless Republican pol who “argues that people who object to massive pay hikes, bloated
budgets, and tax increases simply don’t understand how Pennsylvania politics works.” Spoken like a true blue cluebat.

AJ from The Strata-Sphere points out that Cindy Sheehan may in fact be harming the Democrats chances for electoral success in 2006 and 2008. Could be why some of the lefty bloggers and pols are keeping their distance from Mrs. Sheehan and her media circus.

How about a little change of pace? Here’s Two-Dogs of Mean ole Meany with one of his expert takedowns of splodeydope John Kerry. “Trust me, I have no Purple Hearts to give away for any shaving nicks that you might have acquired lately.” Yowch!

My home state Senator and cluebat extraordinaire Dick Durbin is back! In addition to denying he ever said anything clueless about comparing our military to Nazi thugs, Dickie now denys that he ever intended to give a religious litmus test to Judge Roberts. Read Maryhunter’s whole piece.

Elephants in Academia have an absolutely fascinating post skewering the press for their mocking of President Bush’s physical fitness and then setting the record straight. Great stuff!

The Nose on your Face has a hilarious post on NARAL’s anti Roberts ad. “NARAL Executives Embroiled In Dead Carnie Scandal” tells you all you need to know.

Mike at Your Republic Blog jumps on the Department of Homeland Security for an inadequate web site. One would think that if there’s a terror alert, the place to go on the web would be DHS, right? Uh-Uh.

Cao at Cao’s Blog (pronounced “key”) has Cindy Sheehan dead to rights with a scathing critique of some of the company she keeps. “Code Pink” should change their name to “Code Red.” Cao also has a link to a Kos poll that she wants everyone to vote in.

Jimmy K. at But That’s Just My Opinion highlights a speech by Mrs. Sheehan at an event honoring the terrorists best friend Lynne Stewart. Says Jimmy: “Moonbat by any other name is still a Moonbat.”

Ferdinand T. Cat of Conservative Cat has a serious take on Sheehan and some thoughts on the “wager” imposed on her by the people who have captured her cause.

Hypnyx from Global Democratic Revolution has a few choice words for conservative columnist Michelle Malkin who believes that “This woman is so full of crap, I can smell her in Chicago.” Hypnyx must have a highly developed olfactory sense because I live in the Chicago area and can’t smell a thing.

Bill at Pirates Cove has a link to a video of Mrs. Sheehan thanking the inmates at the Democratic Underground for their support. Talk about birds of a feather…

Fred Fry at Fred Fry International outlines the Sheehan controversy succinctly and adds that “There are over 100,000 troops currently in Iraq that the President is accountable to,” and points out that the White House hasn’t exactly ignored her.

Giacomo of Joust the Facts has an excellent perspective of the NARAL kerfluffle. ” Oh, come on now. NARAL didn’t want a serious discussion on Judge Roberts, they wanted to demagogue the abortion issue and change Roberts’ name to Eric Rudolph in the public’s mind.” Yup.

Mensa Barbie Blog (best of both worlds, eh guys?) links to an article that discusses the dual role dogs play(misunderstood by one writer for the NY Times) in Iraq with another link to a previous post she did on the subject of doggie warriors in the WoT. Great training video!

Mark Coffey of Decision “08 has a brand new look to his site and welcomes Maureen Dowd back in fine fashion as he fisks the clueless one for her wacky ideas on whether women are better off in Iraq now that Saddam is behind bars and pouting about a lack of Cheeto’s.

Pamela of Atlas Shrugs gives us an example of why she’s one of the best bloggers around. In a post wondering why it took a law suit to release the 9/11 tapes, she also wonders why the gatekeepers in the media try to keep 9/11 under wraps. “If that were me and I went to my office that morning and died that way, I would expect every last American to go to bat for me. To scream my name from the top of the New York Skyline.” Go. Read.

Van Helsing of Moonbattery hunts down original moonbat George Monbiot whose curious ideas about patriotism would be funny if you didn’t realize that he was being absolutely dead serious.

Harvey from Bad Example has link to an email from Blackfive that proves there are some very confused people out there, whose turn of a phrase leaves much to be desired.

Josh Cohen of Multiple Mentality has some thoughts on the stupidity of some teachers when it comes to reading and gives us the benefit of an experience from his own education.

North American Patriot has more on Cindy Sheehan and the emotional outpouring from the moonbats at the Democratic Underground. You really can’t make some of that stuff up.

Mr. Right has an hilarious spoof of the 9/11 Commission listening to testimony of the top secret Able Danger data mining operation. I think he’s got it pegged just about right.

Finally, here’s a post I did on the anti-Semites surrounding Cindy Sheehan. “The Jooooos Did It.”

NOTICE: NEXT WEEK’S CARNIVAL WILL APPEAR ON WEDNESDAY 8/24 DUE TO A PRIOR COMMITMENT TO HOST “BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES.”

Check out all the carnivals at TTLB’s Uber Carnival home page.