EXCUSE ME MOONBAT, PLEASE PASS THE CROW
The Guardian has proven itself to be the publication of choice for American moonbats. After all it’s got three things going for it:
1. It’s foreign
2. It’s liberal
3. It hates George Bush
Despite the Guardian’s towering reputation for honesty, integrity, and non-partisanship, here was the lead paragraph on media coverage of the election:
“Fox News broke ranks with its rivals last night to call the state of Ohio for George Bush even before the polls had closed.”
“Even before the polls closed?” I wrote this letter to the editor this AM:
FOR PUBLICATION
You need to print a correction to your article on Fox News calling Ohio “even before the polls closed.”
Fox called Ohio for the President at 1:20 AM Central Standard Time…5 hours and 20 minutes AFTER the polls had closed in Ohio. The fact that there were votes left to count in Ohio is completely irrelevant because THE VOTES HAD ALREADY BEEN CAST! What possible impact could the Fox call have on an election that was already over?
Was the Guardian trying to protect the reputation of Fox News? If so, I’m sure they’re grateful. But if, through some misunderstanding of the difference between calling a a state where 94% of the raw vote had been counted and 0% counted (as you imply in the lead paragraph of the article), the Guardian has erred, it would behoove your editor to make the necessary correction.
The reasons for the Ohio call by Fox News were sound . They were based on raw vote totals from Democratic and Republican counties, what votes were still to be counted from those counties (giving a proportionate share to each candidate) and conservatively extrapolating a vote total based on sound polling principles.
By the way, did you see the vote totals from Clark County, Ohio?
Bush — 34,444 (50.96%)
Kerry — 32,824 (48.56%)
As an American and Bush supporter, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks for your efforts on President Bush’s behalf. Who would’ve guessed that the Guardian, a bastion of progressive thinking, would give such a huge boost to our President’s reelection! Your intervention in the affairs of your poor, ignorant American peasant cousins was greatly appreciated by those of us who respect your wisdom, tolerance, and superior knowledge of the American psyche.
Sincerely, and with enormous gratitude,
Rick Moran
Algonquin, IL
USA
Do you think the moonbats will publish this? I await their decision with bated breath.
FEED A COLD…STARVE A MOONBAT
This from the Democratic Underground:
“I cannot possibly put into words how disappointed, angry, and perplexed I am right now. The reported results coming out of Florida and Ohio simply make no sense to me. I cannot comprehend how we could have such a massive increase in turnout and not win the election. To paraphrase that little weasel Tucker Carlson: You don’t wait in line for five hours to vote for more of the same.”
You’re absolutely right, Moonbat…except that the reason Republicans waited 4 hours in line was to support a good and decent man doing his best in extraordinarily difficult times. And, they recognized that for this country to survive (so that you and your moonbat friends can continue to spout conspiracy theories), George Bush, despite his faults and foibles, needed to be reelected.
Now…BEND OVER AND TAKE WHAT’S COMING TO YA!!! (”Thank you sir can I have another.”)
FEMALE MOONBAT NEEDS CHEERING UP
From the Skankette:
“Wonkette Answers: The Most Important Question of All Time
As far as I can tell the election is still going on, but my computer swears it is Wednesday. Do I have to stop drinking now?
No.”
Do you think she wrote that while sitting naked, eating hot buttered popcorn at her computer on her vibrating sofa? (Superhawk has a sudden spasm of nausea and resists the urge to spew last night’s 2:00 AM bologna sub all over his keyboard.)
MOONBAT TALKING POINTS
Hey Josh! Are you KIDDIN ME?
“President Bush and the Republicans now control the entire national government, even more surely now than they have over the last four years. They do so on the basis of garnering the votes of 51% or 52% of the population. But they will use that power as though there were no opposition at all. That needs to be countered.”
Jimmy Carter won with less than 50% of the vote in 1976 and the Democrats governed as if the Republicans didn’t exist. During the entire period of the 1980’s, Ronald Reagan and George Bush (41) had to put up with HUGE Democratic majorities in the House that, at the time, seemed to be the natural order of things.
I said it last night and I’ll say it again…the Democrats must learn to be “the loyal opposition.” They cannot continue to obstruct, delay, impede, and otherwise oppose the President simply on the bsais of wanting desperately to get back in power. THIS is what the American voters rejected NOT the Democratic party. Try working with the President without biting his head off every time he proposes something you disagree with…
Can’t we all just…get along? (A lone tear escapes Superhawk’s eye and falls to the floor. Is that compassion for the moonbats? “I had something in my eye.” Superhawk responds.)
UNITED WE STAND…EXCEPT THE MOONBATS
The “Nation” (although what “nation” they belong to I don’t recognize. I GOT IT… it’s the IMAGI-NATION!) rants away:
The good news: America is a divided nation. Despite the pundit hand-wringing over this fact, it is a positive thing. Nearly–nearly–half of the electorate rejected Bush’s leadership, his agenda, his priorities, his falsehoods. From Eminem to the chairman of Bank of America to 48 Nobel laureates to gangbangers who joined anti-Bush get-out-the-vote efforts in swing states. Nearly half of the voting public concluded that Bush had caused the deaths of over 1,100 American GIs and literally countless Iraqis (maybe 100,000) for no compelling reason. Nearly half saw the emperor buck naked and butt ugly. Nearly half said no to his rash actions and dishonest justifications. Nearly half realized that Bush had misrepresented the war in Iraq as a crucial part of the effort against al Qaeda and Islamic jihadism. Nearly half desired better and more honest leadership. Nearly half knew that Bush has led the country astray.”
A divided nation, positive? Eminem menioned in the same breath as 48 Nobel laureates? The emperor “buck naked and butt ugly…”? Bush “had caused” the deaths of 1000 American GI’s? (Since when did a moonbat ever give a hoot about soldiers except as a target to spit on and call “baby killer?”)
The point, moonbat is that MORE THAN HALF DISAGREE WITH YOU! And the fact that somehow in all of your brilliant analysis you’ve missed the essence of democracy shows just why YOU CANNOT AND WILL NOT WIN ELECTIONS AS LONG AS THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON’T TRUST YOU! (Superhawk takes a deep breath and let’s out a tremendous sigh…”They just don’t get it, do they?” he asks no-one in particular.)