BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES #83
What an extraordinary week this is going to be!
Do I mean the Iraq elections? Maybe the choosing of a chair for the DNC? Or could it be the week that Ted Kennedy gets outed as Star Wars gangster and notorious womanizer Jabba the Hut (And Babs Boxer as Chewy?)?
No, you cretins! It’s SUPER BOWL WEEK!
That’s right…and what better game than Football to use as a metaphorical club to beat into submission this motely collection of weepy, simpering, truly and totally tasteless and awful posts we have for this weeks Bonfire!
Two notes: First, since my football knowledge spans several decades, some references may be a little obscure for you youngsters out there (anyone under 45). Therefore, I will, whenever possible, supply a helpful link to fill you in on the inside jokes. Second, I will refer quite often to “my beloved Bears” or more simply. “my beloveds.” Pay this no mind as its a sympton of a terminal illness we refer to in Chicago as “Waituntilnextyearitis.” (A similar condition can be found in Cubs fans. However, this is a chronic condition and not life threatening).
The American Mind has some pre-game eating suggestions regarding a twinkie. Couldn’t we just stick with nachos?
The Zero Boss has some more pre-game goodies…The Boss also has a picture of himself reminiscent of a Ray Nitschke bubble gum card of the early 60’s.
The Conservative Cat (is there any other kind of cat?) wants to “undo the damage” of the Iraq elections. Speaking of damage, watching “Big Cat” pancake those defensive linemen for my beloved Bears all those years makes me wonder what kind of matchup problems the Democrats would have if he were on our team?
The Chainik Hocker posts about the problems prosecutors are having in the Saddam case. Problems? Folks, this should be a chip shot. They should be able to walk into the end zone from where they are. I’d check the zebras on this one.
Useful Fools educates us on rent control. Considering what they just paid to renovate Soldiers Field, my beloveds could have purchased a quarterback, an offensive line, and maybe even a decent offensive coordinator.
The Alpaca Burger (Yum!) blogs on the art of “non blogging.” Yes, and your point is? I mean, is that anything like the Immaculate Reception? Kind of happened, but shouldn’t have?
My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy channels Snoop Dog and disses Blogdaddy. To coin a phrase; AIII! MY EYES! Kind of like spittin’ on the grave of Papa Bear.
Cao’s Blog invites you to write your name in the snow. Sounds like something T.O. would try at midfield, huh?
Basil’s Blog receives our very first flag of the day…5 yards for illegal contact. (Note: I THINK this last link is not work-safe. I don’t work so I wouldn’t know).
Dodgeblogium is drunk blogging…in Wales, no less. No NFL Europe team there (not to mention they think that football is a game you play with your FEET, of all the nonsense…)
King of Fools illustrates what life was like in the paradise created by Saddam Hussien and Michael Moore. Living under Saddam must have been something like playing for Ditka …only I’ll bet Saddam screamed louder.
Centerpiece tells us there are tax and spend liberals in California. Jyah! Like, this is should be a surprise, yes? I mean, it’s not like Super Bowl III or anything. Maybe more like Super Bowl XX I think.
Multiple Mentality has some extremely helpful tips on how to get out of a traffic ticket. Too bad the Raiders couldn’t have worked the Zebras here in a similar manner a couple of years ago.
Brian J. Noggle muses about robot farmers. …Gives me the shivers. Can you imagine Robot Football players? Some would say we’ve reached that place already.
How about this post from yours truly? Pure sweetness.
Finally, as an appetizer for that apres Super Bowl soiree how about some nice, hot camel meat? Interested Participant explains. Sorta gives the slogan “Genuine Taste” a whole new meaning, huh?
Well, that’s it! It’s been fun. If I’ve forgotten anybody or screwed up anywhere, I’ll betcha I hear about from ya.
Next week’s Bonfire will be hosted by Sophistpundit. (Jeez! That Glenn guy sure gets around, doesn’t he? Chalk up another one to blogdaddy).