A REAL “MADE FOR BLOGGING” STORY
One of the things I love about the internet is the huge number of wildly creative people. It boggles the mind to see what someone can do with a little imagination and access to photoshop.
That said, this toy soldier hostage story has hit the blogosphere like a firestorm with both sides of the political spectrum having an enormous amount of fun.
Here’s Ace with the “Top Ten other Terrorist Threats”
10. “If the UN does not immediately withdraw support for the US occupation of Iraq, the Jihad Brotherhood will cut off one of Papa Smurf’s three fingers”
9. “We have captured Rainbow Brite, and we will hang her as an infidel at dawn”
8. “Al-Zarqawi is pleased to announce new reinforcements in his jihad– COBRA Commander and Megatron of the Decepticons (also, we may get that completely useless robot who can turn into a fuckin’ tape-recorder)”
3. “If our demands are not met immediately, we will begin pestering your female soldiers with our great stockpiles of Mr. Microphones; they will not be able to sleep, for our constant utterances of Hey good-looking, be back to pick you up later!”
2. “Deliver Donald Rumsfeld to us as a war criminal for trial or we will take our collection of Muppets and pose them in the most insidiously-sexual of manners; verily, your children will weep bitter tears when they witness Elmo being sodomized by the deviant Gonzo and his pansexual chickens”
Scrappleface has a George Bush action doll rescuing the unfortunate plastic warrior:
(2005-02-01) — Just hours after Islamic militants in Iraq threatened to behead a kidnapped U.S. soldier doll, the camouflaged action figure was rescued in a daring nighttime operation by a toy George W. Bush action figure.
The nine-inch-tall replica of the president left Andrews Air Force Base in a scale model of Air Force One within minutes after the Pentagon learned of the kidnapping from a picture on an Islamic website.
Even as the mission was secretly under way, Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-MA, went before the Senate to call for the immediate withdrawal of 12,000 military action figures from Iraq.
Varifrank sums up the situation of the terrorists nicely:
Can you get any more impotent than this? Toys? Who are they kidding? Did they think no one would notice? It has to be a bad week to be an islamic teenage terrorist, first old women and young girls laugh at you and vote, despite everything you told them, now in your bold attempt to get some publicity, someone in your cell decides to use his G.I. Joe collection to convince the Americans to leave Iraq.
I would say that no one could be this dumb, then I remembered Mohammed Salameh. He was the guy who wanted to get his deposit back from the rental agency after using it to bomb the WTC. I thought to myself that people must eat a lot of lead paint chips in the Middle East…
Red State Rant has begun a “Free Cody” campaign. Cody is the name of the action figure currently being held by the terrorist and threatened with beheading:
Will it Never end? Yesterday an Islamic terrorist group released pictures of what it called US soldier John Adams. John Adams real name is Cody and he is a toy registered with Dragon Models USA, Cody is a special OPS figure. The Liberal Advocacy group People for the American Ethical and United Democratic Treatment of Plastics (PAEUDTP) have already responded, registered a complaint with someone and the group plans a march on Washington to pressure the President to remove all Toys from the Occupied Iraqi areas. Patricia Burk of PAEUDTP (whew!) commented this president is responsible for the figure and a whole lot of other stuff to. “Bush lied and good Toys died.”
I wonder what’s going to happen to the guy who thought this up?
dang.. this is funny :)..
Comment by guile — 2/16/2005 @ 1:42 am