MARVIN’S MUSINGS
This being Friday, it’s time for my neighbor Marvin Moonbat to give his take on the events of the last week.
HEARING WHAT ISN’T SAID (By Marvin Moonbat)
When listening to Bushitler, it’s extremely important to ignore the words our Chimp-in-Chief is saying and instead listen to what you know in your heart of hearts he really means.
Admittedly, this takes a little practice. And a little imagination. And a little reefer mixed with my own concoction of special K and ground up XTC. (Note: Don’t try this combination if, within 48 hours you have to A) See your parents. B) Take a test; or C) Perform any task that requires manual dexterity, mental acuity, or color differentiation).
Let me give you an example. Anytime the Smirking Chimp says “Freedom,” what he really means is “Neo-cons.” So when the Liar-in-Chief says “Freedom is on the march” what he’s really saying is “Neo-cons, in their efforts to undermine the constitution, impose a Nazi-like state on America, and conquer the world, are getting ready to invade Iran.”
See how simple that is?
Another example is “Social Security Reform.” Whenever your hear the Chimp mention social security, think “dog food.” As in “I want to destroy social security and impoverish old people so that they’re reduced to eating dog food and sleeping in garbage cans.”
Getting the hang of it?
Try this one…”Iraq.” Give up? This one’s easy. When shrub says “Iraq” he really means “Vote Rigging in Ohio.” As in “We went to war in Iraq to create a false climate of fear so that no one would notice that we rigged the voting machines in Ohio to steal the election.”
That one was too easy.
This one’s a little tougher…”The War on Terror.” What F**kface really means is “Kill all the Homos.” As in “The sham war on terror is a political ploy to garner support for the construction of concentration camps so that we can round up and eventually kill all the homos, blacks, progressives, and environmentalists.”
Don’t believe me? Haliburton got the contracts to build the camps. I read it at the Democratic Underground.
My favorite has to be “God.” Whenever Bushie talks about “God” what he really means is “I’m a lying sack of Sh*t.” As in, “Whenever I talk about God, I’m really talking about me, which makes me a smirking, walking, talking, nazi douchebag, lying sack of sh*t.”
It’s easy once you get the hang of it.
Well, I gotta go to bed now. Hope the XTC wears off before the test tomorrow in my “America’s Evil Influence on the Rest of the World” class. Guess I’ll have to bone up by reading the DU forums for a while.