Right Wing Nut House

Marvin Moonbat is in the House!

CRAZED BABY KILLING TORTURERS MISS JOURNALIST (By Marvin Moonbat)

The assassination attempt on award winning Italian journalist (I’m not sure what award she won, but she deserves some kind of prize) Guiliana Sgrena carried out by the baby killing torturers who make up the Smirking Chimp’s Imperial Guard almost succeeded. Only the fact that the goober chewing, redneck, red state gun lovers couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle if their life depended on it saved the courageous truth teller from certain death.

I have to laugh at the wingnuts making a big deal about Ms. Sgrena being a communist. First of all, everyone knows that communists are the most reliable journalists around. How is this possible? Let me explain.

Since communists don’t have the best reputation for accuracy in reporting, all you have to do to get at the truth of the matter is to take what they write and transpose it so that what comes out is exactly the opposite of what they mean.

So when Sgrena says the “car was going slowly,” all you have to do is translate that to “the car was going 100 mph.”

See how simple that is?

And conversely, when she says that the “car was going so fast they almost lost control,” what she really means is “the car was going slowly, around 40 mph.”

I mean, this is so simple even a repugnut should be able to figure it out!

Pay no attention to the slight inconsistencies above. Both she and we know exactly what she means…I think.

Then there’s the question of how many bullets were fired at the car. In my opinion, the more the better. The fact that pictures of the car show very little damage is beside the point. It’s obvious our Imperial Storm Troopers need a little more practice shooting innocent civilians. I suggest they get more training by roaming the streets of Oklahoma City or some other red state enclave of tobacco chewing, gape jawed Christians who wouldn’t have the intelligence to get out of the way of a bullett unless it came attatched to a bible verse.

So when Sgrena says that “300 or 400 bulletts were fired at the vehicle by an armoured car” what she really means is that the redneck goobers fired a dozen or so rounds from a gas guzzling, pollution spewing Chevy pick-up truck supplied by Haliburton so that the baby killers would think they were back home screwing their cousins and firing off rounds into their neighbor’s car.

This would explain why so many shots missed.

And when Sgrena says that her kidnappers told her to “be careful because the Americans don’t want you to leave Iraq alive” you can take her at her word. Similarly, when she says that she doesn’t know why the incident happened, you can bet your booty that she’s telling the truth there too. Being confused is a sure sign of telling the truth.

Just look at Howard Dean.

All in all, this botched assassination attempt shows that Bushitler and his neocon Nazi’s will stop at nothing to prevent the truth from getting out.

Just what truth that is, I’m not sure. But it’s got to be pretty juicy for shrub’s Storm Troopers to go to the lengths they did in trying to kill the courageous Ms. Sgrena.

And I don’t want any sh*t in the comments about me not supporting the troops. Of course I support the troops…at least those who voted for Kerry. And I even support those who voted for the royal Chimp…in a roundabout sort of way. I support the idea that they should come home now. I don’t want to see them dead, maybe only wounded a little. That would get them home in a jiffy.

Well, that’s it for today. Chloe wants to go to a lecture tonight entitled “Ward Churchill: Kill ‘em All and Let God Sort it Out Later.”

Cross-Posted at Blogger News Network