Right Wing Nut House

THE PRESIDENT AND HIS DOG SPOT. THE PRESIDENT IS THE ONE HOLDING THE LEASH

The President’s 15 year old Scottish Terrier “Spot” was arrested today and charged with aiding and abetting torture as well as other “crimes against humanity.” The human rights organization Amnesty International, that had threatened to arrest the President, the Secretary of Defense, and other current and former Administration officials if they traveled to foreign countries, urged the arrest of the canine saying “no one in the Administration is guiltless.”

William Schulz, President of A.I. in America applauded the action saying that “In a conspiracy like this, you have to start at the outer edges and work your way toward the middle. One slip and everyone feels safer.”

When told that his statement sounded like “Deep Throat’s” admonition to Bob Woodward in the movie All The President’s Men Schulz would only say “I am not Deep Throat. You must have the wrong fellow.”

Schulz added that “If we can’t get the big fish, we’ll go for the small fry. This dog is one of the President’s most loyal supporters. He was in the White House at the time these crimes were being planned and carried out. The fact that he didn’t speak up and protest these actions is just as bad as if he committed the acts himself.”

When asked if this action would lead to more donations and publicity for the human rights group, Schulz denied any connection. “I’m insulted that anyone would think such a thing. We are not trying to increase donations to our hotline at (800) 555-0011 nor are we seeking additional publicity or did we ask to appear on Lary King Live tonight at 9:00 pm eastern.”

A.I. President Irene Kahn applauded the action adding “Mr. Spot will now face the justice his master has so far escaped.” Kahn also pointed to the fact that dogs were routinely used to scare prisoners at Abu Ghraib and that the President’s pet “could act as a stand-in for dogs all over the world who deliberately bark, snarl, and drool in order to frighten innocent terrorists.”

Spot will be held at Prince George’s County Animal Shelter until his trial. No bail has been set and the dog had no comment to reporters assembled outside the shelter as he was led into the facility. Spot could be heard whimpering piteously as shelter personnel hustled him into the building.

The President had no comment however, a spokesman speaking on condition of anonymity, said he was taking the arrest well but that Mrs. Bush was considering military options to rescue the beloved pooch. “She’s ready to send in the Seals.” the source said.

In a totally unrelated development, the Internal Revenue Service announced it was looking into the tax exempt status of Amnesty International’s American chapter.