Right Wing Nut House

RIGHT WING FANATIC BLOGGERS MARCHING IN LOCKSTEP DURING THEIR ANNUAL “RUSH-ROVE PARADE”

Would someone please tell me where I went wrong?

I mean, I know I called former FEMA Director Michael Brown that “horse show impresario.” And I may have gotten Karl mad at me when I called for Rummy’s resignation and criticized George for not coming out and speaking about the war earlier than he did. And as far as the Christian fundamentalist agenda…well, let’s just say that I respectfully agree to disagree. But is that any reason to purge my name from the email list?

After all, like this guy Crowley says, we right wing whack jobs are uncaring, unthinking tools of Karl Rove and his allies in the massive right wing media infrastructure:

But Democrats say there’s a key difference between liberals and conservatives online. Liberals use the Web to air ideas and vent grievances with one another, often ripping into Democratic leaders. (Hillary Clinton, for instance, is routinely vilified on liberal Web sites for supporting the Iraq war.) Conservatives, by contrast, skillfully use the Web to provide maximum benefit for their issues and candidates. They are generally less interested in examining every side of every issue and more focused on eliciting strong emotional responses from their supporters.

But what really makes conservatives effective is their pre-existing media infrastructure, composed of local and national talk-radio hosts like Rush Limbaugh, the Fox News Channel and sensationalist say-anything outlets like the Drudge Report - all of which are quick to pass on the latest tidbit from the blogosphere. “One blogger on the Republican side can have a real impact on a race because he can just plug right into the right-wing infrastructure that the Republicans have built,” Stoller says.

First, would someone please send me today’s password so I can “plug right into the right wing infrastructure?” I mean how the hell am I supposed to “emotionally connect” with my readers unless I have the damn password? The password, damn it! Give it to me.

You don’t realize how unplugged you really are until you wake up one morning and find yourself “out of the loop.” No more cozy email exchanges with Karl. No more instant messaging with Rush. And Drudge? The bastard won’t even take my calls anymore. And after all those “tidbits from the blogosphere” I’ve dutifully passed on to my readers too! Ungrateful wretch. Maybe I could start an internet rumor that the reason he wears that stupid hat is to hide his baldness. Or maybe to hide his pointy head?

Anyway, I’m lost without you guys so would someone send me some instructions here? I’m so bollixed up that I can’t for the life of me figure out whether I’m coming or going.

It’s getting darker now. My screen is dissolving to black. Have I been purged? Have I been drummed out of the League of Extraordinary White Right Wing Wackos? Look, this isn’t fair! I’ve done everything asked of me.

It isn’t fair. It just isn’t fair.