Right Wing Nut House

Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs (55) and defensive tackle Kelly Gregg (97) go Favre hunting in Baltimore’s 48-3 shellacking of the Packers last Monday night.

I know you shouldn’t kick someone when they’re down but, after all, it is Christmas and they are the Green Bay Packers.

I get so little joy out of life these days. But watching last Monday night’s game as the Ravens kicked the beejeebees out of the Packers 48-3, it warmed the cockles of my heart and gave me that warm and fuzzy Christmassy feeling that had been so sorely lacking this year. I found myself urging the Ravens to pile it on - to really it give it to those guys in the puke green and diarrhea yellow. I wanted them destroyed and humiliated. I wanted them trampled, mangled, bloodied and broken.

I cheered every sack. I went into paroxysms of joy after every Ravens touchdown. I nearly swooned in the fourth quarter when Adalius Thomas of the Ravens returned a fumble 35 yards for a touchdown with less than 30 seconds to go in the game. Pounding the table so hard that Sue began to contemplate whether or not our health insurance would cover my stay at the local mental institution, I was screaming at the top of my lungs “YES! YES! YES!” as Thomas hit paydirt.

I may have been the only one in the entire United States of America who was watching the game at that point. For the once mighty Packers - the swaggering, insolent, insufferable Green Bay Packers - had hit absolute rock bottom. Hanging their heads like little schoolboys who had misbehaved on the playground, the Packers walked off the field that night looking for all the world like soldiers retreating from a battle in which the enemy had taken away their will to fight.

For the Bears, this was the absolute worst thing that could happen. The Ravens not only beat the Packers, they challenged their manhood. And one thing about rock bottom - there’s no place to go but up.

Today will be the Packer’s Super Bowl. They will come out breathing fire, taking names, and doling out punishment on a scale not seen in this rivalry since the 1980’s when Mike Ditka and Forest Gregg, who hated each other with a passion, patrolled the sidelines of their respective teams.

The Bears must weather an expected first quarter onslaught by the Pack. If not, things could get out of hand very quickly. Brett Favre will be looking for redemption following his subpar performance on Monday night. And make no mistake, with the Pack’s outstanding rookie running back Samko Gado out with a knee injury, the Packer’s offense will be Favre tossing left, Favre tossing right, Favre down the middle and Favre throwing six more ways till next Sunday. Gado’s replacement Tony Fischer is a serviceable pro but has been slowed in recent years by a plethora of injuries. The Bear’s defense should have little trouble shutting him down.

Favre, of course, is a different story. As it now appears likely that Favre will in fact return next year, we can now safely root for a massive blind side hit by Peanut Tillman like the one he delivered a few weeks ago during the Bear’s hard fought 19-7 victory. That blow knocked ole Brett for quite a loop and may have contributed to a subsequent interception return of a Favre pass by Nathan Vashar. In the end, Favre must be punished for 4 quarters if the Bears are going to win. The Pack’s O-Line has been something of a makeshift affair for most of the year and Chicago’s ravenous defensive ends Adewale Ogunleye and Alex Brown must be licking their chops in anticipation of spending the day frolicking in the Green Bay backfield.

The fact is, Alex Brown may be one of the best rushing ends in football. At 6′3″ and 325 pounds with a wingspan like a 747, Brown may have the quickest first step around. When he gets leverage on the outside shoulder of an opposing tackle, it’s like watching a freight train approaching an unsuspecting cow on the tracks - you know the collision is coming but you feel for the cow. Three weeks ago, Brown fell on top of Panther QB Jake Delhomme with predictable results. A groggy Delhomme had to be asked what day it was and what city he was in. The gentleman’s replies were not recorded for posterity.

The real challenge for the Bear’s defense will of course be in the defensive backfield where Mike Brown’s return is most welcome. Brown has a nose for the ball and hits like a ton of bricks - which could be bad news for the Pack’s depleted wide receiver corps. Favre likes to throw late over the middle which for any other quarterback in NFL history would be a disaster waiting to happen. But because of the superior arm strength of Favre, he can get away with it on a regular basis. However, receivers hate it because opposing safeties have a nasty habit of lying in the weeds, waiting for the unfortunate receiver to catch the ball, and then delivering a blow that makes the wide out’s head go one way and his body another. But that’s why wide receivers make the big bucks - and Favre frequently makes them earn every cent they make.

If the Bears can withstand the expected 1st quarter Packer surge by staying within 10 points, they have a chance. If not, it may be a long day for my beloveds.