Right Wing Nut House

Just what kind of an agency is this CTU anyway?

Think about it. For five years running, they’ve been infiltrated by one mole after another until you start to wonder if the bureaucrats who are vetting potential CTU employees weren ‘t somehow in charge of the Katrina disaster as well.

Then there are the interpersonal relationships between the moles and legitimate CTU personnel. Nina and Jack, Curtis and Maryann, and now Chloe and Spencer proves that most of our heroes are completely clueless when it comes to matters of the heart and terrorists. They can’t all be thinking with some other organ than their brain now, can they?

And whoever is head of CTU security should be immediately fired and perhaps prosecuted for negligence. The dummy screener who let the hit man in tonight with a disassembled gun should have been trained to spot that sort of thing. Don’t any of these guys ever get sacked?

CTU is a dysfunctional agency in dire need of reform. Oh well…let’s worry about that tomorrow. We’ve got bigger fish to fry today.

SUMMARY

We pick up the story at the airport and the discovery by Curtis of where Mr. Yellowtie snuck off to after escaping from the secure perimeter set up by CTU Tactical. Too late - the terrorists have loaded the leaky cannisters of nerve gas onto a SWAT truck and have already left the airport. We know the nerve gas is leaking because several rats have succumbed to its effects. Curtis calls for a forensics team to investigate.

Evelyn discovers the unconscious First Lady and calls for the Doctor. When the Doc finds nothing wrong with her, Logan assumes - with Cummings urging - that she has relapsed and needs to be recommitted to the mental hospital. Her story about finding the hard copy of her conversation with Palmer is disregarded. Martha’s plight brings to mind Noah who everyone thought was a madman when he warned of God’s wrath about to be let loose upon a sinful world. In fact, Martha’s fate is not dissimilar to most prophets of doom throughout the Old Testament. They were dismissed as crazies much to the detriment of the people who were doing the dismissing. Later, Martha’s attempt to escape makes one wonder who she is going to tell that will believe her.

We discover that the terrorists are trying to move the nerve gas out of the country and that the eventual target of the terrorists is not the United States but Moscow. This brings into focus Cummings treachery as he and the Mystery Man gloat over their success. Could it be that a faction in the United States government is supporting a terrorist strike on Russia in order to fatally weaken the Russian leader who wants to work with the US in fighting terrorism? This plays to some conspiracy scenarios on the far left and right about the government actually working with Osama Bin Laden in order to usher in an era of oppression. Certainly a huge terrorist strike on Russia would cause our own government to crack down on civil liberties even more than they have to this point. I’ll be fascinated to see what the motivation of Cummings and Mystery Man is in helping carry out this attack.

The two traitors realize that Jack Bauer is still a threat to their plans because…well, he’s Jack Bauer, isn’t he? Cummings informs us that he’ll take care of Jack by using his man on the inside at CTU to clear the way for his shooter. Here the writers fell down a bit since so many of us recognized Spencer as the mole from the get go. Why else would he (or anyone else for that matter) play “hide the salami” with Chloe?

Edgar’s conversation with her about “secrets” reinforces that notion:

EDGAR: Why didn’t you tell me Jack was alive?

CHLOE: Oh C’mon, it’s called National Security?

EDGAR: Yeah, what about Spencer? I didn’t even know you two were going out.

CHLOE: Oh gimme a break, okay? When we find the nerve gas and the alert level drops, we’ll have some camamile tea and I’ll tell you all my secrets, OKAY?

It is apparent that Spencer is a patriot who will do anything for his country.

Back at CTU, Audrey is informed by Fat Hobbit Lin that she is going to debrief Diane. Reluctantly, she queries Diane about her “personal relationship” with Jack. Was that my imagination or did I see a look of relief on her face when Diane told her in so many words that she and Jack never made it?

The interrogation is interrupted when Jack shows up at the door to the holding room. Diane sees the looks exchanged between Audrey and Jack and realizes where Jack’s heart lies. This seems to upset her which makes me think that she and Audrey are going to have some words before the day is out.

In the hallway, Jack apologizes for letting Audrey think he was dead. As Audrey tries to tell Jack she still loves him, we find that all the bitterness and hate she showed Bauer last season was just an act! She tells Jack that she “never blamed him for Paul’s’ death” (lie) and that she was never really mad at him (lie #2) and that he “had to make the hard choice” (lie #3). Audrey’s already pointy nose grew considerably during this conversation. But since Jack apparently still has feelings for her, it should be interesting how they try and patch things back together after so much water has gone under the bridge.

Meanwhile, Spencer is in the security room accessing the monitors so that Jack can be tracked from a remote location. Chloe interrupts and gets off the lines of the night:

CHLOE: I was unfairly harsh to you a few minutes ago. I didn’t mean anything.

SPENCER: Apology accepted.

CHLOE: It really wasn’t an apology. It was more of an “observation…” (Spencer walks away in disgust)

CHLOE: (Sotto Voce): Dammit! Why do I do that?

It could be because you have the interpersonal skills of a baboon and the temperament of a female grizzly bear. But we won’t hold it against ya!

Spencer makes his way to the security entrance and unwittingly clears the assassin for entry, who is posing as a mild mannered computer repairman which completely fools the clueless screener who misses the disassembled gun in the shooter’s case. He takes the assassin to the security room and shows him how to access the surveillance cameras so that the shooter can track Jack inside CTU.

Just prior to that, nosy Chloe checks to see what her lover had been doing at the work station in the security room and discovers that he was accessing information above his clearance level. Putting two and two together, she realizes she’s been used and runs to Bill with her information. Spencer is taken before Bill who grills the hapless mole about who he is really working for. Chloe has a nice turn as the aggrieved woman cruelly used by the spy as she almost - but not quite - breaks into tears over the episode. Spencer clams up as the shooter stalks Jack.

Jack is doing a little figurin’ of his own as he and Fat Hobbit Lin discuss the fact that there is probably a traitor in the White House. The fact that Jack has figured out that Palmer was killed because he knew of the plot makes his coming meeting with Nutzo Martha next week (who else is she going to tell that believes her) one to look forward to. Obviously, Jack and Martha are going to work together. And that’s when the call comes from the clinic informing the pair that Tony is conscious and wants to talk. He requests to see Jack first.

The shooter is waiting for him of course. After a short but intense scene of hand to hand combat, Jack sends the hit man to perdition using a pair of scissors. Despite a cracked rib (let’s see if it bothers Jack at all for the rest of the day) when Bauer discovers that Spencer is the mole, he becomes an avenging angel and makes his way to the holding room. After showing the now thoroughly chastened spy the picture of the dead hit man, Spencer blurts out that it was Cummings who was giving him orders.

Jack points out that President Jellyfish is in California and suggests they pay him a visit to let him know about Cummings. Fat Hobbit Lin demurs:

FHL: Cummings is the President’s Chief of Staff and his friend. Without any hard evidence, CTU can’t touch him.
JACK: I’m not CTU. I’ll get Walt Cummings myself.

If I were Cummings, I’d make sure all my affairs were in order…pronto!

BODY COUNT

The show almost could have passed for family viewing tonight as only two corpses were added to the total. The hit man offs the clinic doctor while Jack’s scissors trumps the shooter’s rock.

JACK: 7

SHOW: 27

SPECULATION

Bringing the Russians on board will be tricky. Suspicious already, they could see any attack that was planned in the United States as an act of war. Look for a Russian ultimatum: Stop the terrorists or suffer the consequences.

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