Right Wing Nut House

I think I need a drink. Bad. Bourbon, if you don’t mind. Make it a double, please - no ice.

I find as we almost reach the point of midsomer’s eve - when fairies and pixies dance around the sacred fire in the woods and the elves work their magic to torment us mortals - that the level of my ambition to do a decent day’s worth of writing for this site falls exactly to the level of my concern over my personal appearance.

As I sit at my desk, my hair is mussed, I haven’t shaved in 2 days, Zsu-Zsu has taken to maintaining a polite and proper distance from me (even in bed) and my cats are eying me with baleful glances of haughty disdain - as if I am an inferior being because I am unable to keep clean by licking myself all over.

I suppose I should break down and take a shower but to tell you the truth, there is something glorious in feeling grungy. Is this how our paleolithic ancestors felt all the time? I feel like grunting. Not the mindless ruttings of liberal commentators but rather the deep, satisfied vocalizations of a man at peace with his slovenliness and grateful for the primal sin of sloth.

I am revelling in my indolence, celebrating my apathy. My cup runneth over (and down my chin) with joy at the prospect of lazing in my bed watching re-runs of Law and Order at midday. Perhaps I’ll pop a movie into the VCR or slip a Gretchen Wilson CD into the player and kick back a spell. Maybe I’ll get lost in my Norwich, dreaming the dreams of the Byzantium emperors who failed finally and utterly to resist the advance of Islam. We are still paying for their stupidity today.

I could do any number of things. But before I can tend to my own psychic needs, the Watcher demands a pound of my flesh for neglecting he and my fellow council members over the last two weeks. Ergo, before I can play, I must pay:

Council results for W/E June 23rd:

Council Category

First Place: “The Iraqi Insurgency Has No Central Command” by The Glittering Eye.

Second Place: “Children in Danger From the UN” by Gates of Vienna.

Non Council Category

First Place: “The Jihadi Network’s Fatal Flaw” from The American Thinker

Second Place: “Srebrenica, Kosovo, Unknown” by New Sisyphus

Council results for W/Ed June 30:

Council Category

First Place: “The Dance of Escalation and Reaction” by Shrinkwrapped

Second Place: “How Do You Solve a Problem Like… Korea?” by The Glittering Eye

Non Council Category

First Place: “It’s an Islamic Jihad, Stupid” from Townhall.

Second Place: “Peter, Paul, and Ingrate” from Florida Cracker

If you’d like to participate in next week’s Watcher’s Council contest, go here and follow instructions.