NEW CABINET LEVEL DEPARTMENTS CONTEMPLATED BY DEMS
In keeping with their party motto “The only good government is the biggest damn government we can shove down people’s throats,” the Democrats are seriously contemplating saddling future Presidents with a “Department of Peace and Nonviolence.”
I’m not sure whether to laugh at the stupidity, weep at the shameless pandering, or tear my hair out thinking about what our enemies might make of such an idiotic idea.
When one considers that the third cabinet level executive department created by the very first Congress meeting in 1789 was the War Department, the possibilities for ironic juxtaposition are staggering. But leaving aside the latent historical analogies, other questions might be raised about the efficacy of creating an executive department that the executive not only hasn’t asked for but would almost certainly conflict with the operations of other executive level departments.
What in the name of all that is good and holy would a President do with such a department? It sounds wonderful - peace, love, sit-ins, smoking joints the size of a Cuban Habano, while playing slap and tickle with the hippie chick sitting next to you in the dark. But as a practical matter, don’t we already have such a department? What do all those people going to work every day at Foggy Bottom do for a living? Isn’t it their job already to promote peace and find non violent ways to resolve crisis?
Ooops! My bad. For the Dems, the first rule of good government is “Why have one Department when you can have two doing exactly the same thing at twice the cost?” (HT: Contact)
Actually, I like Jim Hoft’s idea of making Mother Sheehan the very first Secretary for Peace and Nonviolence. She’d have New Orleans unoccupied in a jiffy not to mention freeing Palestine from the Zionist oppressors before you can say “Holocaust anyone?”
And while we’re at it, might I suggest a few other executive level departments the Dems might want to contemplate adding:
DEPARTMENT OF THINGS THAT WERE FORMERLY CONSIDERED SEXUAL PERVERSIONS.
The problem is that in these rather libertine days, there is nothing that can truly be considered “sexually perverted” - except perhaps those of us unimaginative and downright old fashioned enough to be monogamous heterosexuals who like screwing in the missionary position once and a while (with many variations, naturally) and who like our porn straight up and bloodless.
A shrinking minority to be sure…
DEPARTMENT OF APOLOGIES
Not to be confused with the “Department of Groveling,” I have a feeling this Department will receive a lot of prominence if the Democrats make it to the White House in ‘08. Not only will liberals be running around the planet genuflecting to the thugs, the tyrants, and the ne’er do wells who we have offended the last 8 years by standing up to their perfidious designs on the civilized world, but just think of all the opportunities for apologies here at home! My God, they’d be lined up at the Secretary’s door, agitating for “reparations” and all sorts of goodies, including making every white male in the United States participate in a “Day of Reconciliation, Contrition, and Feces Flinging” so that all groups oppressed by white males can get their rocks off.
DEPARTMENT OF GROVELING
See above, except this cabinet department would be exclusively devoted to foreign affairs. One good thing is that this particular department would come relatively cheap. Knee pads and a generous supply of chapstick to deal with all the ass kissing of the likes of Ahmadinejad, Assad, Kim, and your odd African potentate or two would be all that’s necessary to make the department a stunning success.
Good to see the Dems already have a head start in forming this department what with the Speaker already planting her lips quite firmly on the thug Assad’s derriere and now getting ready to smooch Ahmadinejad’s radical rear.
Maybe she’s angling for the job…
DEPARTMENT OF HOLLYWOOD ADVISORS
What better way to reward the Dems friends in Tinseltown than with their very own cabinet level department where rather than pretending to be taken seriously, they actually would be listened to by people at the highest levels of government.
I wonder if Angelina Jolie would be willing to serve?
DEPARTMENT OF FREE SPEECH
Al Sharpton for Secretary!
Actually, you and I both know speech would be “free” as long as we didn’t offend - knowingly or unknowingly - the list of 1247 groups, sub groups, races, religions, ethnicities, mentally challenged, weight challenged, sex challenged, those who are afraid of challenges, and sundry other oppressed, put upon, minorities who together make up about 90% of the country.
Feel free to add to this list in the comments. One thing for sure; if the Democrats get their way, Presidents in the future are going to have to hire out the Ballroom at the downtown Sheraton just to hold cabinet meetings.
UPDATE
Dymphna has an overview of the bill’s particulars. It’s worse than I thought. Not only would this cabinet Secretary be able to stick their nose into military planning, State Department negotiations, and our UN policy, but also domestic violence as well as counter terror initiatives and FBI investigations:
For those looking for a distillation, imagine a governmental agency responsible for advising on non-confrontational foreign policy options, establishing and enforcing new gun control measures, designing school curriculum, establishing and enforcing new legislation governing “hate crimes†and violence against animals, and my favorite, establishing a “Peace Academy,†a four-year institution of higher learning modeled on our service academies. (Wait, doesn’t the Ivy League already have like six of those?)
If this isn’t the silliest, stupidest, most asinine idea ever presented to the Congress of the United States, I don’t know what is.
Actually, this could be a very good department if the Secretary was able to actually do something besides talk about doing something. Here are some of the global issues that culd easily be solved for relatively small investments which would win friends for the USA among the victims of these issues:
1. Disease. Eliminate easily cured diseases like malaria (use DDT), guinea worm, river blindness…etc, etc.
2. Clean Water. Ensure that everyone has access to clean water. This is easily done with low tech tools, the poor who need this the most can supply the labor.
3. Sanitary sewer. Ensure that everyone has access to sanitary sewer. Again, this is easily done with low tech tools, the poor who need it the most can supply the labor.
4. Electricity. Provide electricity to the undeveloped world.
5. Communication. Give the undeveloped world a communications network. Follow the example of Outer Mongolia who set up the entire country for telephone and high speed internet using a small grant and wireless technology.
6. Education. Help the undeveloped world build schools. The US can supply assistance in low tech building methods, the villagers can supply the labor. At first teachers can be from the developed world, over time teachers can be trained from the villages.
7. Starvation. Large food storage facilities should be built throughout the undeveloped world so that food supplies can be quickly sent to areas hit with catastrophe. Stocks for these storage facilities can initially come from the developed world, but over time should be renewed by stocks purchased from the undeveloped world. Food should only be distributed directly to the starving who need it, ensuring that corrupt officials do not steal it.
There could be a lot more to this list, but this is a good start.
Instead of wasting money in large “aid” programs where the money either gets stolen by corrupt officials or large contracts are given to big companies who then bring in outsiders to build large facilities that are expensive to maintain, the programs should all be based on the premise that the villagers needing the help should do the work themselves using raw materials local to them with engineering assistance and money to pay the laborers provided by the developed world. This way the villagers have a stake in the success of the project since it is their project.
A comprehensive program like this run correctly could help lift the undeveloped world into the developed world at a much lower cost than the current costs of giving “aid” in the form of cash payments to corrupt regimes who then steal the “aid”.
A “Peace” department which truly wished to accomplish something and was willing to go against big money interests and do what is most practical and most beneficial for the people most directly affected by the issue could accomplish great things.
Of course, this is not what the Dhimmicrats have in mind at all when they talk of a “Peace” department.
Comment by ibeecurious — 4/15/2007 @ 3:25 pm
Fooled me. I’d have bet a sixpack when I clicked that first link it would lead to Scrappleface, or maybe IowaHawk if I was lucky. Why not just cut straight to the heart of the matter and create a Department of Dhimmitude Compliance? I’m sure the Joint Chiefs wouldn’t mind time-sharing a secure conference room with the Council of Mullahs. I added an excerpt and link to my 2007.04.15 Dem Perfidy // Islamism Delenda Est Roundup.
Comment by Bill Faith — 4/15/2007 @ 10:15 pm
Rick, you’re kidding, right? You do know that the Bush Administration is presently searching for a War Czar, don’t you? This is a brand new position that would increase the size of government. Hunh, go figure, eh?
Comment by Johnny Tremaine — 4/16/2007 @ 12:00 am
Absolutely asinine idea. Of course the Democrats are for it.
Comment by Mark — 4/16/2007 @ 12:40 am
Hey, Bush and Co. have done a marvelous job at increasing the size and scope of the government…they don’t need the Dems’ help. And anyday now, we should expect them to create the Department of Corporate Welfare, which would certainly include the Office of Lobbyist Collection and Bill Creation.
Comment by Barry — 4/16/2007 @ 7:22 am
Those peace department ideas sound nice, and the goals are certainly admirable, but just where in the Constitution have we given the federal government the authority to do any of that stuff?
Comment by Juan Paxety — 4/16/2007 @ 9:16 am
Department of Appeasement and Surrender…
Tigerhawk takes a closer look at the Democrats’ legislative proposal to create a “Department of Peace and Nonviolence.” Jim Hoft nominates Cindy Sheehan to head the PAND. Rick Moran proposes other Democrat Departments. Next: Changing all “departmen…
Trackback by Michelle Malkin — 4/16/2007 @ 9:27 am
[...] Look, if you want to stop violence against animals, donate to the Humane Society, or the ASPCA. They do great work. It should not become another pork-happy government agency. Basically, the outline for this new “agency” is another way to control our lives, and every aspect of them. How would you like the “Department of Peace and Non Violence” deciding on your child’s education? Rick Moran of Right Wing Nuthouse puts it perfectly: In keeping with their party motto “The only good government is the biggest damn government we can shove down people’s throats,†the Democrats are seriously contemplating saddling future Presidents with a “Department of Peace and Nonviolence.†….. [...]
Pingback by American Pundit » Blog Archive » Department of Pansy Asses — 4/16/2007 @ 10:08 am
DEPARTMENT OF THINGS THAT WERE FORMERLY CONSIDERED SEXUAL PERVERSIONS
It was Oscar Wilde who said “Celibacy is the most unusual of the perversions”
Comment by Greg — 4/16/2007 @ 10:10 am
What every you do don’t forget to include the all important “The Department of Anonymous and vindictive Slandering”
http://www.mp3.com.au/artist.asp?id=16834
Comment by doriangrey — 4/16/2007 @ 10:23 am
We’ve lost it!…
via Michelle Malkin:
Department of Appeasement and Surrender
By Michelle Malkin · ……
Trackback by From the Mind of Splittfinger — 4/16/2007 @ 10:37 am
Federal spending expanded 12% under Reagan (1981-86), 25% under LBJ (1964-1969) and 36%under Bush Lite (2001-2006). And remember, LBJ was fighting a shooting war and creating/expanding programs for the war on poverty at the same time. Yep, its those Democrats that love large government!
Hell, EVERYBODY loves government money, they just want it spent on THEIR concerns. Democrats are easy to mock, but you missed the boat with this try.
Comment by ed — 4/16/2007 @ 11:47 am
Rick our minds run in the same direction…Cindy Sheehan and “what are these people smoking?” + more big gummint micromanagment. Not to mention the cost of this bumbling, bubble-headed idea.
May it die in committee before it embarrasses anyone further.
I called it “The Department of Peace, Love and Understanding.”
http://gatesofvienna.blogspot.com/2007/04/department-of-peace-love-and.html
Comment by dymphna — 4/16/2007 @ 1:13 pm
I would agree that this Department is not a good idea. It smacks too much of holistic thinking and is a road to hell paved with good intentions.
Having said that, I think posters above me pretty much sum up your attempt at being the pot calling the kettle black. Incompetence was/is the rule with this White House and they were beautifully enabled by the Republican house and senate. Gay marriage and flag burning constitutional amendments. Schiavo laws. Tax cuts for already bloated fat cats. Pointless laws that serve no purpose other than sucking up to the base. Earmarks for bridges to land these lawmakers own.
Bush expanded spending 36% while cutting taxes. By the time we have blown countless billions in Iraq and bankrolled Pharma and all those poor destitute oil companies, we will be knee deep in hock and borrowing from the Chinese. There will be nothing to show for all that money that was squandered. Not a thing. Zero. This president is a disaster of astronomical proportions. Supposedly intelligent Republicans are still worshiping the ground he falls on.
Lecture and laugh at Democrats all you want and ignore the 500 lb gorilla(s) in your room. Asnine law? Perhaps. The most asnine? Give me a break.
Comment by Hallfasthero — 4/16/2007 @ 2:54 pm
Hey Ed,
I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you don’t think Iraq and Afghanistan are actual shooting wars………
http://www.mp3.com.au/artist.asp?id=16834
Comment by doriangrey — 4/16/2007 @ 4:48 pm
This is my kind of writer! Take no prisoners.
Kind of reminds me of……………me!
Comment by Philip Girardin — 4/16/2007 @ 7:09 pm
[...] Right Wing Nuthouse has the best send-up so far. [...]
Pingback by The Coffeespy » The Department of Peace — 4/17/2007 @ 6:18 am
You can’t really say that there was never anything more stupid presented to the Congress? Like, this same nonsense pushed by the same Kucinich six years ago?
He’s really a serious politician, that Kucinich, what with his 344.000$ raised for the presidential campaign.
Comment by Nikolay — 4/17/2007 @ 8:04 am
[...] Rightwing Nuthouse Blog has some other departments the Dems may want to contemplate: DEPARTMENT OF HOLLYWOOD ADVISORS [...]
Pingback by Pundit Review » Blog Archive » Further Proof That Democrats Cannot Be Trusted With Our National Security — 4/17/2007 @ 7:35 pm
Well, here in la!la! land (Massachusetts) the most perverted,polictically
screwed up state in the country(John F ing Kommie Kerry and that fat drunkin murdering pig Teddy Kennedy) they both had a hand in drafting such
insane dribble.
Comment by Tom Morrill — 4/17/2007 @ 7:56 pm