Right Wing Nut House

“Hey kids! Let’s play “The Glad Game!”

Well, it certainly has been an eventful couple of days. Every 50 or 100 posts  that I write, Hot Air, or Insty, or one of  my friends on the left who run big blogs (and yes, I am, in fact, a lefty plant just as so many of you suspect, ordered by my liberal overlords to pretend to be a conservative in order to sow confusion and distrust on the right), will link to something I’ve done and down we go, into the rabbit hole.  

I will let you in on a little secret; if I knew in advance that a post of mine was going to get the kind of attention that was given my recent rant against Glenn Beck, I would not write it. Unless you are brain dead or a disciple of the Marquis de Sade, exposing oneself to the kind of  personal attacks on my character, my heritage, my intelligence, and alas, even the quality of my writing is hard on the ego not to mention an emotional downer. Anyone who says it wouldn’t bother them is either lying or has never had it happen to them.  Anyone who thinks I write that kind of stuff for noteriety, or links, or so that I will get linked by big bloggers, or because I want to curry favor with liberals must also believe I have a S & M set up in my basement where I dress up in a black leather and dangle from a gibbet, all tied up, while my Zsu-Zsu alternates between tickling me with an ostrich feather and whipping me with a cat ‘o nine tails, making me scream at the top of my voice, “Thank you, Ma’am, may I have another!”

Actually, don’t knock it unless you’ve tried it.

Really now, I write in near total obscurity and the fact that I write stuff like the Beck post fairly often and it doesn’t get any attention is exactly the same result that I get with the  95% or so of posts I write that most of my detractors would have no trouble agreeing with. The point being, you never know as a blogger. Maybe I should pay more attention to McCain’s rules for how to get a million hits. Can’t do any worse on my own.

Therefore, things are going to change around here. From now on, no more bashing Glenn Beck. After all, screaming on national TV to Obama “Why don’t you just set us on fire” is just not criticizable. It is the heighth of rational discourse. Who am I to say otherwise? I’m sure we can come up with a good explanation for Beck’s behavior like, “He was only kidding,” or perhaps “He forgot to take his meds.”  The trick is, instead of criticizing or making sport of Mr. Beck, or other conservatives, or the Republican party, or conservatism,  I am going to  play “The Glad Game” and find something good and happy in every situation.

From now on, if I feel the urge to bash Limbaugh or other righties who speak for conservatives, I will play The Glad Game and find the good in everything. No more piling on to curry favor with the left. No more envious rants against people who make more money than I do and who have made a success of their lives. No more being a tedious moron. No more Miss Fowler. No more elitism. No more RINO stuff. No more aping my liberal brother to whom I have shamelessly hitched my blog star and whose name I constantly invoke in order to feel important . And no more attempts to get links from big blogs by deliberately being provocative, knowing that it will be a real career builder.

Only The Glad Game for me. I will take note that Rush is a funny, smart, real conservative who is almost always right and who conservatives would do well to take whatever advice he offers. I will wax poetic about Ann Coulter and her charm, her wit, her balanced critiques. Same goes for Michael Savage, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and all the other popular conservatives.

I see the error of my ways. And this goes for anything I say about the GOP too. No more dire pronouncements of electoral disaster. From here on out, it’s tea parties and triumph at the polls for me. I promise to ignore polls that don’t have Republicans sweeping to victory in 2010. And I will enthusiastically cover the tea parties that are going to change America.

I love this Glad Game. I’m warming to it already. It’s so much more fun when you simply follow the herd. And if it leads over a cliff, so what? Since we’re playing the Glad Game I would simply say I’ve never jumped out of an airplane without a parachute before so going over a cliff will be an exciting, new experience for me. And who knows? Maybe when we hit the ground, it will be made up of chocolate ice cream and marshmallows so we can come in for a soft landing and eat a lot of good sweet stuff at the same time!

It sure will feel good to be popular again.