No, it doesn’t seem like “just yesterday,” or feel like anything but what it is; 5 years of blogging at The House.
I feel every one of those years. With more than 3,200 posts - most of them essay length or longer - my fingers hurt just thinking about it. My head hurts when I reflect on all that thinking. And my soul is tired to its core.
Not looking for sympathy here. Just telling you how it is. Writing a daily journal for 5 years where you expose your deepest thoughts and emotions, leaving yourself open to the slings and arrows of experts at invective and the put down would tax the constitution of anyone. The last 3 years have been especially hard as I have been at odds with many of you (and many more who no longer read me) over fundamental matters of philosophy as well as specific issues.
There have been many times - too many to count - that I just wanted to throw in the towel and close up shop. I have lost many friends, many larger bloggers who used to support this site and give me much encouragement have fallen away. I get little respect from anyone I care about and less notice from those I do.
Heh - now it IS starting to sound like a pity party. OK - enough of that. The real question is why? Why, if blogging makes me miserable sometimes, if I’ve lost the respect of people whose opinion matters to me, if my readership is a pittance of what it once was, and if just about everytime I write something, the most vile, hurtful things are said about me, do I keep plugging away, day after day?
In an odd way, I am driven to do it. Not because I feel I matter and am making a difference. My ego is large but not that big. But because I simply feel I have something to say about contemporary America and conservatism that needs to be said. And, as I have pointed out many times, this site acts as a combination confessional and canvas where I spread my thoughts out in all their incoherence, their imperfection, their confusion, their conceit, and attempt to glean the essence of what I really believe.
It is the “examined life” I seek. A hubristic effort, no doubt, but one worth striving for. I am driven to write about it not so much to share it but to fulfill a very deep need that I think resides in all of us; the drive to know ourselves. The intense curiosity we all have about who we are, what we believe, can be addressed only be a healthy dose of self-criticism and self-examination. Sometimes, it is painful. Sometimes I reject what is so obvious to others but hidden from me. Sometimes I learn the wrong lessons or even lie to myself as we all do at times. But it is the process that is rewarding - addicting I guess. And that’s why I am still blogging after 5 years.
Some might be curious about how I think blogging has changed in 5 years. There are many more of us. There are fewer individual bloggers such as myself. There are a lot fewer links from everyone to be had - not quite sure why that is so although it is quite noticeable. I think bloggers just starting out will have a harder time gathering an audience than I did. Beyond this, social networking sites have augmented blogs - they will not replace them. And the business of blogging - making money at it - has gotten a lot tougher.
I have, in the past, thanked a lot of people when acknowledging this anniversary. They seemed to get fewer every year so I won’t do that now (thanks Ed). The cynic in me wants to tell you all to go to hell because I don’t care if you read me or not. But that wouldn’t be true and you guys know it. I may be a pill. I may be a curmudgeon. I may lash out at commenters, returning insult for insult, tit for tat. But for those who have been with me from the beginning and to those who joined me along the way, I do sincerely, and humbly thank you.
Rick Moran
Proprietor
8:43 am
Congrats Rick! I don’t think I’ve been reading you the whole five years, but it’s been most of that. Keep on truckin’!
10:06 am
I read Ricks blog for the superior comment quality.
10:27 am
Despite the grief I just gave you below, congrats.
10:33 am
I have been checking in on your posts for about a year. I respect the effort it takes to compose a lengthy thoughtful blog on a daily basis, irrespective of the author’s point of view. I too possess a strong desire to share my insightful observations with the web community - unfortunately the strength of this desire is insufficient to prevail over my pathetic work ethic. I do not agree with your perspective on every subject you address, but more than occasionally you articulate the essence of a position I have been harboring, and, in so doing, allow me the vicarious luxury of getting it off of my chest. For that I thank you.
11:37 am
Rick,
Congrats on making it a half decade! I feel your pain. Not sure why any of us do it. But keep doing what you are doing, which is sharing your unique view on events of the day.
At a minimum it reminds everyone there is a much broader diversity out there than the media and talking heads wish to admit.
I have proudly kept your site on my blogger role, so don’t think you have lost the respect of everyone!
Cheers, AJStrata
11:42 am
[...] when I started this little ‘ol blog a few years back. Rick is celebrating (mourning? ) 5 years in the trenches. I send out a heart felt congrats to Rick on a job well done! You are a great role model and [...]
1:07 pm
And may you celebrate many years more.
2:51 pm
In spite of our disagreements, congrats on a notable achievement.
3:14 pm
We’ve enjoyed your posts a lot!
3:40 pm
I’ve only recently been reading your blog and I’ve never posted here before but I have some, admittedly unasked for, advice that I would like to share.
Take some time off. A week, or a month, and not only don’t write anything but as much as possible don’t even follow the news. Then after you’ve taken some time off ask yourself if you still want to do this.
Continuing to do something that is contently bringing you down makes no sense.
I wish you well, Dale…
7:34 pm
You being a curmudgeon is why we keep on coming back.
Seriously, congrats on going 5 years.
7:51 pm
Long time reader, rare poster…I used to have dozens of blogs I followed and read daily, but both my patience (and my time) for reading online drivel has dwindled steadily over the last few years.
I keep coming back here for some reason (maybe it IS Chuck’s comments). At any rate, thanks for the work you’ve done up to this point with this blog. And I wish you and your cats the best (although I’m a dog person and loathe cats).
12:05 am
A bit late to the party this might be, but a very sincere congratulations on five years of educating, entertaining, and pissing people off! Seriously, just stay true to your work, and your work will stay true to you.
4:48 am
Thanks for writing Rick. I find you to be one of the most well reasoned writers in the blogosphere. Maybe I don’t get around that much but the web is a richer place because of you. If you keep writing I will keep reading.
Cheers
Dave
7:09 am
Robin of Berkeley (whom I love) called, and said it is highly inadvisable to use blog readers as therapists and blogposts as therapy sessions. Part of me is reading this post like it’s an obituary and “if you can’t say anything nice . . . .” There are just a handful of blogs that are a financial success. The talented Captain Ed has hooked up with best selling author Malkin and does a fine job with HotAir. The talented Stacy McCain scrambles to do reporting and blogging and begging for tip jar support, and gives the impression that it’s a real struggle to make a living at it. Relative newcomer Donald Douglas at americanpowerblog.blogspot.com openly confesses that he’s not blogging to make a living, he holds his steady job and blogs voraciously as an avocation. For 5 cents, Charlie Brown’s Lucy would tell you to separate your livelihood from blogging. And the entrepreneur in me is asking, why haven’t you focused your considerable talents to rush publish an Obama/Acorn exposé, and use your broadcast experience to hit the book tours.
I make a decent living writing and editing for American Thinker and Pajamas Media. I am not concerned about my livelihood as much as I am about the toll that blogging takes mentally and emotionally.
ed.
11:19 pm
Thanks for all the good times I had here. There is a German saying ‘Humor ist wenn man trotzdem lacht’. It kind of means ‘humor is laughing in spite of it’. Difficult to translate the joke. Hope you know what I mean. Don’t leave us with all the crazies!
5:38 am
Congrads Rick… Thanks for sticking it out.
-Pat
5:49 am
[...] via Right Wing Nut House » FIVE YEARS BLOGGING. [...]