Right Wing Nut House

1/16/2005

WARGAMES

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 7:45 am

It’s Sunday and I’m feeling lazy. Come to think of it, that makes Sundays not much different from any other day of the week. That said, I really do enjoy Sundays. Coffee tastes better: As do bagels and cream cheese. The cigarette is more satisfying. The dawn has a special feeling; almost like experiencing sunrise for the first time again.

And of course, there’s football.

Now I realize that many of you humans of the female persuasion out there actually like football. Significant Otherhawk is a football fan of sorts…except she hates the college game and, adding insult to injury, roots for the PATRIOTS! (except when they play my beloved Bears…she knows too well my wrath would be unleashed at ANYONE rooting for ANYBODY but my beloveds in my presence).

But football, more than any other game, has been influenced by and is a living metaphor for war.

Think about it. What you see on the field when 22 men line up opposite one another is a miniature battlefield, a window into what Gettysburg, Waterloo, or Stalingrad must have been like. There is attack and defense. The attackers launch mini-offensives on every play, seeking to outnumber defenders on the line of scrimmage (also called the point of attack) where the offensive is aimed. There can be deception, making the defenders believe the attack is actually going to be launched somewhere else. There can be something like an airborne assault as passes are thrown over the initial line of defense and dropped into the waiting arms of a receiver. There can be mis-communication-just like on the battlefield-that results in a disaster.

For defenders, they have a first line of defense (the front 3 or 4 lineman) a second line of defense (linebackers) and a mobile reserve (safeties and cornerbacks). The job of the defenders is to counter or outguess the offense.

More than any other team sport, the coach (General) has a profound affect on the outcome. Quarterbacks used to be called “Field Generals.” This is something of a misnomer as quarterbacks today function much more like Captains or Lieutenants on the battlefield. They execute direct orders from the General and lead the men into battle. Like any good military officer, their ability to improvise either to avoid disaster or take advantage of an opportunity is of great value and often spells the difference between victory and defeat.

This idea of football being a metaphor for war in American society is not new. The left in this country has been denigrating football for nearly 40 years. I remember back in the 1980’s one particular moonbat who blamed football for what he called “the warlike nature of American foreign policy” and how peace loving the Soviets were because they played a much less brutal game; soccer.

I pointed out in an op-ed published in the Washington Post that anyone who believed soccer wasn’t a brutal game had never seen Manchester United play Liverpool or Brazil play Argentina. Those games are extraordinarily warlike, played with a viciousness rarely seen in any sport. I also wrote (none too gently as I recall) that the two most popular sports in Russia were hockey and boxing. Carrying the moonbats theory on sports reflecting the aggressive nature of the society that plays them to its extreme, that would put the Soviets somewhere between Ghengis (that’s jengis for all you Kerry lovers out there) Khan and Attila the Hun.

I don’t believe that we Americans watch football because we’re warlike. I believe we watch football because it’s fun…and it can be profitable. It’s estimated that something like $3 billion will change hands between now and the end of the Super Bowl. And starting this weekend through Super Sunday most Americans will be watching, united in a spirit of community, rooting for their favorites, and celebrating the spectacle.

HERE’S TO FOOTBALL!

1/15/2005

POISONER IN CHIEF

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 8:11 am

When I was about 7 years old, my mother took me and my siblings from our home in Mt. Prospect to the loop in downtown Chicago. She wanted to do some Christmas shopping at the Marshall Field store, which back then was the middle class ideal of nouveau riche . I remember seeing the young kids hawking newspapers on the street just like in the movies:

EXTREE!!! EXTREE!!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!! POE-LICE CATCH COP KILLER!!! EXTREE!!!

I mention this because if newsboys were around today and if the press ever started to print the “news” that comes to us via the moonbats at the Democratic Underground, the entire city of Chicago would be so convulsed in laughter that “The City That Works” would be renamed “The City That Can’t Stop Giggling.”

Try this one on, newsboys circa 2005:

EXTREE!!! EXTREE!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!! PREZ BEHIND ANTHRAX ATTACKS!!! EXTREE!!!

This is too easy. Proper fisking of moonbat droolings requires a modicum of effort. But this is like USC playing Slippery Rock in football. It’s like the New England Patriots playing my beloved Bears. If it were a little league baseball game, it’d be called on account of the slaughter rule. It’s not a mismatch…It’s a slam-dunk-katie-bar-the-door-in-your-face-full-fledged-nuclear-wipeout.

To wit:

Whoa_Nelly: “Anthrax: Why did the “threat” stop so suddenly? have been wondering why there was such a spate of anthrax threats/findings/deaths just after Bush was selected in 2000, and then why did all so suddenly stop? Was this a Rove/Bush scheme to begin the state of terror in the US?”

Sentinel Chicken: “They were trying to use anthrax to drum up support for … their planned war in Iraq. They were trying to create an excuse to attack Saddam. When 9/11 happened they had all the excuse they needed for their war plans. They found out it was semi-traceable later. This is why when people talk about 9/11 conspiracies I think they’re looking at the wrong crime.”

fertilizeonarbusto: “Dust for Shrubby’s fingerprints…I always thought all of that smelled.” (HT: John Hawkins at Right Wing News)

Their logic is impeccable. It’s the kind of logic Lucy uses in the song “Little Known Facts” in the musical “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown:”

LUCY
Do you see that tree?
it is a Fir tree.
It’s called a Fir tree because it gives us fur,
For coats,
It also gives us wool in the wintertime

LUCY
And way up there,
Those fluffy little white things,
Those are clouds,
They make the wind blow.
And way down there,
Those tiny little black things,
Those are bugs,
They make the grass grow.

LINUS
Is that so?

LUCY
That’s right. They run around all day long, tugging and
tugging at each tiny seedling until it grows into a great
tall blade of grass.

The DU moonbats have nothing on Lucy. Here’s more:

MadAsHellNewYorker: “It was after 9/11. only democratic leaders (Daschel and Leahy were the two most prominent Dem’s to get letters) who were in a position to oppose the patriot act received the letters. No republicans ever got an anthrax letter.

They stopped because the administration did not need to keep the Dem’s in line–they had already showed them who was boss.”

Warpy: “Right, I think the original plan was for a much wider “attack.”

They planned it to justify their war against Iraq, the centerpiece of their idiotic foreign policy of imperial domination.

9/11 happened and the attack was scaled back to just those people who needed the most intimidation: journalists (including the one who published photos of the Bush brats falling down drunk, an attack that proved fatal) and Democratic congressmen. They just couldn’t resist those targets, and that’s how we know who ordered it.

Typically arrogant and hamfisted, they never expected the wide contamination as the spores exited through the paper of the envelopes, nor did they expect it to be traced to Fort Detrick so quickly.

This isn’t “speculation.” Speculation is postulating an outcome based on known fact. The only thing we know here is that the intelligence quotients of these moonbats aren’t measured according to The Wechsler IQ scale. They’re measured in accordance with the Richter scale for earthquakes. Judging by the exchange above, I’d say combined their IQ’s may reach a 5.0…no great shakes.

AWESOME!

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 8:00 am


Picture7_L
Originally uploaded by elvenstar522.

15 January 2005
This image was returned yesterday, 14 January 2005, by ESA’s Huygens probe during its successful descent to land on Titan. This is the coloured view, following processing to add reflection spectra data, gives a better indication of the actual colour of the surface. Initially thought to be rocks or ice blocks, they are more pebble-sized. The two rock-like objects just below the middle of the image are about 15 centimetres (left) and 4 centimetres (centre) across respectively, at a distance of about 85 centimetres from Huygens. The surface is darker than originally expected, consisting of a mixture of water and hydrocarbon ice. There is also evidence of erosion at the base of these objects, indicating possible fluvial activity.

Credits: ESA/NASA/University of Arizona

(From European Space Agency)

The camera aboard Huygens is so good it’s making those rocks appear much larger than they actually are. Other pictures reveal an awe inspiring landscape including islands in a sea of methane with a mist shrouded horizon. The “fluvial activity” is most intruiging. Is it the result of liquid methane or liquid nitrogen running over the rocks? Or could it be possible that at some disant point in Titan’s past, liquid water flowed?

Un.Be.Lievable.

1/14/2005

BRAVE NEW WORLD

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 2:58 pm


BRAVE NEW WORLD
Originally uploaded by alpenstock.

You’re looking at the first picture sent back from the surface of Saturn’s moon Titan taken by the Huygens Lander earlier today.

WOW!

After nearly 25 years of work, European scientists are ecstatic over the engineering and scientific success of the probe. It performed flawlessly earlier today as its parachute opened and allowed the craft to gently drift down through the thick atmosphere of the only moon in the solar sytsem known to have one.

Taking nearly 2 hours to float to the surface, first reports show that the telemetry from Huygens was successfully downloaded onto its mother ship, the Cassini, which is currently orbiting Saturn. What’s truly remarkable is that the batteries powering the little Lander evidently have outperformed even the most optimistic projections as scientists will have nearly two hours of data from the surface of Titan itself. This is far beyond the 10 or 15 minutes of power most scientists had expected. This also means that over the coming days, we’ll see even more spectacular pictures from the surface of Titan.

The primary mission of Huygens was to gather information about Titan’s atmosphere by collecting data on its long, gentle descent. Any images or data gotten from the surface of the frigid moon would be a bonus. Huygens, apparently has hit the jackpot.

Not only is Titan important because it has an atmosphere, but also that atmosphere may reflect (in a deep freeze sort of way) what the earth’s atmosphere was like in the very beginning. Titan’s atmosphere is largely nitrogen with a bit of methane. It’s so cold however, that it’s probable that there are oceans of liquid nitrogen as well as liquid methane. Pictures taken during the descent show possible channels carved into the moons surface suggesting that some kind of liquid flowed or is flowing on its surface.

Trying to get any of these pictures by accessing either NASA.gov or Space.com was a chore. There must be millions of people as curious as I am about what the surface of this strange place looks like.

UPDATE:

Here’s a link to the story at Space.com. Be prepared for very long page loads as they must really be getting slammed. I gave up trying to get any text from NASA.

ONE LAST HURRAH

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 10:00 am

Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court William Rehnquist is sicker than anyone has imagined according to this article by Vincent Morris in today’s New York Post:

The longtime chief justice hasn’t been seen in public in several months and it was clear to me why.

Rehnquist was hunched over in his wheelchair, an old hunting cap pulled down low over his ears to cover up his blotchy skin and near baldness, possibly the result of the aggressive treatment he’s getting for his thyroid cancer.

His eyes looked sunken and lifeless. A plastic collar was wrapped tightly around his neck, where his throat had been opened recently for a tracheotomy.

I tried to make eye contact and wanted to offer a word of encouragement. Our eyes never met.

The Chief has been at the center of some enormous controversies over his tenure both as Chief Justice and Associate Justice since Richard Nixon appointed him in 1972. At that time, he was considered something of a fringe figure, far out on the right wing. Since then, of course, history has proven Nixon to be something of a prophet as both the courts and the country have moved Rehnquist into the mainstream. This from Jeffrey Toobin, liberal commentator for CNN on legal affairs:

The issue he is most identified with among people who follow the court is the power of the states versus the federal government.

He is someone who believes that the federal government should be limited and the states should have greater power. But on a lot of issues, the country has come around somewhat to his thinking, but not entirely.

Prior to Rehnquist’s ascendancy, both the Warren Court of the 50’s and 60’s and the Burger Court of the early 70’s sought to radically expand not only the role, but the influence of the federal government in matters previously thought to be the province of state legislatures.

Rehnquist has participated in some of the most important Supreme Court decisions in history. Appointed to the Chief Justice’s slot in 1986 by Ronald Reagan, Rehnquist’s tenure has been marked by controversial decisions involving the partial rollback of Affirmative Action, restricting abortion rights, weakening Miranda law that some have credited with drastically reducing crime, as well as presiding over the historic impeachment trial of President Clinton.

Rehnquist is obviously very sick. He’s attended only one session of the court this term and, from what Mr. Morris has seen, is extremely weak and fragile. But Mr. Rehnquist has one more duty to perform; the swearing in of President Bush on January 20th.

Given all that Mr. Rehnquist has accomplished, I believe he deserves this last moment in the sun. Liberals will do all they can to besmirch his record, his legacy, and predictably his integrity. It will be left to historians to judge how successful the Chief was in keeping the forces of socialism at bay and preserving the freedom of generations to come.

1/13/2005

THANKS…BUT NO THANKS

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 3:55 am

This from the “I can’t believe what I just read” department:

ABOARD THE USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN — The aircraft carrier leading the U.S. military’s tsunami relief effort steamed out of Indonesian waters yesterday after the country declined to let the ship’s fighter pilots use its airspace for training missions — part of a broad effort by Indonesia to reassert control over its territory.

The USS Abraham Lincoln’s diversion, which was not expected to affect aid flights, came as the White House asked the Indonesian government to explain why it appears to be demanding that the U.S. military and other foreign troops providing disaster relief leave the country by the end of March. (Washington Times 1/13/05)

Apparently, what passes for a government in Indonesia doesn’t want any witnesses in their ongoing slaughter of rebels in Aceh province. And they’re afraid that “western contamination” will spread faster than the dysentery now claiming dozens of lives daily.

Lest any of our moonbat friends applaud Indonesia for rejecting US requests for fighter training missions over their airspace, there’s a method to the navy’s madness:

Under Navy rules, pilots of carrier-based warplanes cannot go longer than 14 days without flying, or their skills are considered to have degraded too far and they have to undergo extensive retraining.

And its not just denial of training missions:

U.S. Marines have scaled back plans to send hundreds of troops ashore to build roads and clear rubble. The two sides reached a compromise in which the Americans agreed not to set up a base camp on Indonesia or carry weapons.

This is just peachy. Our guys have to hump all day long helping to keep people alive and start bringing some semblance of order out of the chaos caused by the disaster and then, like guest workers in Saudi Arabia, they’re kicked out of the house at night and sent back to their bunks on board a ship.

Oh…and remember that al Qaeda is also “helping” in Indonesia? This from Capn’ Ed last week:

An extremist Islamic group with links to al Qaeda has set up relief operations in Aceh province on Sumatra island, raising concerns that international relief workers will become terrorist targets as in Iraq.

The group, known for hunting down and killing Christians during a long-running sectarian conflict in another part of Indonesia, said yesterday it is collecting corpses, distributing food and spreading Islamic teachings among refugees.

I’d give a months pay to know what “Islamic teachings” are being spread amongst the refugees. And isn’t it convenient that the Indonesian government has just disarmed our guys? Kinda makes it easier for al Qaeda to spread some of that Islamofacist love amongst our troops.

The Capn’ explains:

Having an AQ-affiliated gang of terrorists in Banda Aceh risks a provocation between the lunatics and our troops, although the greater danger will be a whispering campaign that creates the wild conspiracy theories and rampant rumors that we’ve already seen. With people missing by the thousands and normal society and communications wiped out, it won’t be difficult for groups like Laskar Mujahidin to convince people that Americans stole children, caused the tsunami, poisoned the water or food — and you can bet they’ll try.

To those who would suggest we leave and let them all wallow in rotting corpses and never-before-seen carnage, well…we just can’t.

Folks, we’re IT. Without the Abraham Lincoln and 20 other ships flying helicopter missions around the clock ferrying food and medicine to the victims, not to mention the 13,000 Marines and Sailors helping out on the ground this disaster would turn into something like the Chinese floods of 1931 when about 500,000 people were killed during the rainy season but another 2.5 million died of starvation as a result of the flooding. Something similar would almost certainly happen without the United States military ferrying supplies, aid workers, and yes, even UN bureaucrats to the areas hardest hit. Some of the affected areas are so remote and waterlogged, they can only be reached by the long-range helicopters flying off the flight deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln.

Air and sea lift capability…logistical expertise…and the will and knowhow to GET THINGS DONE…that’s why they need us so badly. And it’s why we can’t leave.

1/12/2005

MY NEW TOY…IT’S SO KEWL!

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 3:10 pm


v3_prd_configurator_martian_red_big.jpg[1]
Originally uploaded by elvenstar522.

Although I got this as a Christmas present, being the antigeek when it comes to anything technical, I had to wait for Significant Otherhawk’s son to come down from Ohio to help me get everything to work.

The picture above just show’s the box. Here’s the good stuff:

OS: Windows XP Pro w/service pack 2
Processor: Intel Pentium 4 processor 550 w/HT technology 3.4 GHz IMB cache
Motherboard: Alienware PCI Express motherboard with Intel 925XE Chipset 1006/800Mhz FSB
Memory: 1 GB Dual Channel DDR2 SDRAM at 533 MHz-2 x 512MB
Graphics Processor: ATI RADEON X600 XT PCI Express 128 MB DDR w/Digital and TV Out
Sound Card: Intel High Definition Audio (24 bit 192 KHz) with 7.1 surround sound
Monitor: BenQ FP731 Black 17″ LCD monitor
Speakers: Logitech Z-5300 5.1 280 watt speakers

Plus…I got a free Alienware T-Shirt (and other really, really, kewl stuff).

Now…I have no clue as to what all that stuff up there means but bottom line is this:

1. IT’S REAL REAL FAST
2. IT SOUNDS REAL REAL GOOD
3. ITS REAL REAL PRETTY

Now, if I can only figure out to import all my classic porn from my old computer, I’ll be one happy camper.

MISPLACED TRIUMPHALISM

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 6:51 am

There’s no lack of opinions in the blogosphere about the Thornburgh-Boccardi report detailing CBS malfeasance in the Rathergate episode. Captain Ed is outraged about CBS President Les Moonves decision protect CBS anchor Dan Rather:

When seen in context, Rather’s performance during this scandal is shockingly dishonest and deliberately misleading. He seems to have no sense of loyalty to the truth or to his viewers; in fact, his actions appear quite contemptuous of the public. How could Moonves expect to retain any credibility for any story fronted by Rather in any capacity at CBS? Moonves may think that the storm has passed — but as long as Dan Rather continues to represent CBS, their news organization will have no credibility whatsoever.

The Capn’ also has a remarkable post about the failure of the report to admit that there was political bias involved in the rush to air the report. Quoting from a series of devastating emails, the Capn’ points the finger directly and unerringly at the political aspects of the “investigation:”

On page 61, we get the answer with this exchange of e-mail between Smith and Mapes. Smith outlines a “hypothetical” deal for Burkett (emphasis mine):

“Today I am going to send the following hypothetical scenario to a reliable, trustable editor friend of mine . . .

What if there was a person who might have some information that could possibly change the momentum of an election but we needed to get an ASAP book deal to help get us the information? What kinds of turnaround payment schedules are possible, keeping in mind the book probably could not make it out until after the election . . . . What I am asking is in this best case hypothetical scenario, can we get a decent sized advance payment, and get it turned around quickly.”

Mapes’ reply? “[T]hat looks good, hypothetically speaking of course.”

After detailing several notable examples of political bias by Producer Mary Mapes and others connected with the story, the report concluded that there was no bias in the run-up to or airing of the hit piece.

I guess having a producer who concurs that airing “information that could change the momentum of the election” is an example of “objectivity.”

One thing the report glosses over and which, to me, constitutes the most shocking and egregious aspect of the entire sorry affair is the coordination between CBS news and the Kerry campaign. The report fails to answer some significant questions as well as neglecting to even ask some questions that need to be addressed. To wit:

1. Did the Kerry campaign and the Democratic National Committee coordinate their attack on President Bush’s National Guard service with the CBS hit piece? Circumstantial evidence would validate that assumption. The Democrats scheduled an ad campaign entitled “Fortunate Son” to begin on September 10; two days after the TANG story aired on CBS. The ads had been in the works for weeks.

2. When did the Kerry campaign learn of the existence of the TANG memos? The American Spectator on September 9 published an article saying that an opposition researcher at the DNC knew of the existence of the memos as far back as the Democratic Convention in July. Markings on the forged documents themselves show they may have been manufactured as far back as February, 2004. As early as March, the source of the documents Bill Burkett was posting on Democratic forums that he had evidence of Bush’s preferential treatment. The evidence would point to specific knowledge of the documents and their content sometime between March and July, 2004.

3. Who forged the documents? Here’s my speculation back in September:

Whoever fabricated the documents would have had to pore over Bush’s TANG records and come up with the appropriate dates, personnel, situations, and perhaps most importantly, the tone and tenor of the memos that would match what’s known of Killian. (Remember, both granny Knox and General Strong said the memos “sounded” like Killian.)

The panel, which came to no conclusion about the documents’ authenticity, nevertheless offered a detailed and devastating analysis of their shortcomings. But the question hangs over this case like a side of rotten meat; who’s the forger? Was Bill Burkett clever enough and knowledgeable enough about TANG procedures to come up with this on his own?

We’ll probably never know. My personal guess is that more than one person was involved in the forgery and Burkett may have been a straw man to hide the forgers identity.

4. Why didn’t the report delve into the political bias of both Mapes and Rather as it related to the overall reporting of CBS news during the campaign? Polipundit has some similar thoughts:

On page 211, the Report briefly, and far too poorly, reconsiders the political aspect of CBS’ attacks on President Bush. By separating the September 8th episode from the rest of the campaign to attack George W. Bush, the Report unfairly attempts to paint the attack as an isolated incident. The Report far too casually accepts assertions by Mapes and Rather that they had no political agenda, and refuses to dig any deeper than their claims. The fact that Rather’s e-mails, for example, were not reviewed, and that Mapes’ claims to only limited contact to high-ranking Democrats were accepted at face value, even with the evidence of their complicity in an organized plan to influence the Presidential election, is baffling. The Report tried to dodge the connection between Burkett and CBS, for example, by lamely stating “he declined to talk to the Panel” (page 212). Even as the Report noted that “[m]any of the sources of information that were used for the September 8 Segment had an anti-Bush political agenda” (page 212), yet somehow managed to conclude that the people collecting and organizing those sources did not also have such an agenda.

In summary, I think the reason the report glosses over so many important questions was best summed up by Captain Ed:

The Thornburgh-Boccardi report on the CBS debacle avoided casting the Killian memo story as definitively caused by political bias in its conclusions. Some of their reluctance, I think, has resulted from a legalistic mindset that pushed the panel to only state what they felt could be proven in a lawsuit.

Not everyone agrees, but it’s pretty clear to me that the report in its conclusions, is a whitewash; not meant to get to the bottom of the affair but rather to protect the reputation of CBS News from being totally destroyed.

At the same time, there is an inordinate amount of self-congratulation on the part of bloggers who believe that the Rathergate affair has somehow been a watershed event and that mainstream media will never be the same. This may be true. What I believe is misplaced is a general feeling of triumphalism and a belief that bloggers will now replace major news organs as purveyors of news.

This is nuts. Bloggers are eloquent in writing opinions about the news. Blogs are at their best when they uncover factual errors or bias in media reports. But bloggers as journalists? Generally speaking (there are many bloggers who are now or who have been journalists in the past) this won’t happen.

Back in December, I did a post on the illusion of Rathergate. I quoted extensively from an article in “The American Digest” by Gerard Vanderleun regarding the false lessons learned by bloggers:

“In a reactive medium such as blogging, one brings one’s opinions and expertise (limited, expansive or non-existent) to any question that engages one’s interest. At times, the confluence of these factors — most famously in the CBS False Documents scandal — creates a situation that causes what is sometimes referred to as “blowback” in the analog world. But these cases are still few and far between since there are not that many situations where the elements (documents, pdf files, computer and typewriter and word processing knowledge) combine to form a perfect storm of blogging blowback.”

The “Perfect Storm” Vanderleun refers to may happen once in a great while. My own belief is that blogs have much more utility in pushing stories into the mainstream media that are otherwise ignored. Stories like the “Oil for food” scandal or, more recently, the excellent work done by bloggers in uncovering and publicizing fraud in the Washington State Governors race. These are important stories that, because of bias or laziness, the mainstream media fails to cover.

But until news organs like CBS News put there own house in order, bloggers will continue to “bite at their ankles” by revealing outright bias and sloppiness in their work.

1/11/2005

SORRY…

Filed under: General — Rick Moran @ 8:02 pm

I’ve been experiencing some problems with internet connectivity due to either a balky broadband modem or a problem in the cable.

Posting has been light the last two days as a result. Moonbats rejoice!

I’m having a tech come out tommorrow and try and trace the problem. Hopefully, I’ll be back to normal by early afternoon..

ALL IN A DAYS WORK

Filed under: "24" — Rick Moran @ 7:06 pm


Kiefer_Sutherland_108504a
Originally uploaded by elvenstar522.

SUMMARY

When last we left our hero, Jack was in hot pursuit of terrorist Khaleel Hasson who had kidnapped Andrew Paige, computer hacker, friend of Chloe, and innocent bystander who happened to get a look at a terrorist internet code. Jack follows Hasson to a deserted part of the road and, after Hasson’s thugs torture Paige to make sure he doesn’t really know anything, make ready to kill him. Jack is torn. He MUST follow Hasson but Paige is about to be sent to that big hacker spot in the sky. Jack takes the easy way out (for him). After all, why pass up a good chance to get some target rounds off at some low-life terrorists. Jack shoots and kills the thugs before they can kill poor Andrew. He then picks up Hasson’s car and continues the chase.

Meanwhile, back at CTU a couple of interesting developments; we’re introduced to Maryann, a worthy successor to Sherry Palmer as uber-bitchy, backstabbing, blackmailing, lowlife femme fatale. And Araon turns out to have a daughter suffering from schizophrenia…with consequences that will certainly be developed later as Araon is using her position at CTU to interfere in a local law enforcement matter involving the poor girl. Finally, Chloe “The bitch with the heart of gold,” is feverishly helping Jack, trying to set up satellite coverage so they don’t lose track of Hasson in the canyons and hills outside of LA.

Then there’s the bizarro Araz family. After cutsie little Debbie followed Beruss to the warehouse where Secretary of Defense Heller is being held (and where he will shortly go on trial for “Crimes against humanity”…ATTN MOONBATS: IT’S A TV SHOW, NITWITS!)mommie Araz calls Debbie and invites her over for some tea. After ascertaining that Debbie didn’t tell anyone about the warehouse, mommie tells Beruss to “take care of the problem.” Beruss, torn between his raging hormones and obeying his parents, opts for the hormones and tries to hustle Debbie out the door. There’s only one small problem; Debbie can’t walk on account of she’s been poisoned by mommie dearest. She soon also can’t breathe cause she’s dead. Beruss, resentment clearly on his face, restrains himself from committing matricide.

Meanwhile, because the satellite coverage is slow to develop, Jack must find a way to delay Hasson from going into the canyons. He gets his opportunity when Hasson stops at a convenience store for…what? Maybe some gum Arabic. Anyway, Jack does what any red-blooded American would do in this situation.

He pretends to hold up the convenience store.

This is why I love Jack Bauer…he’s always thinking “outside the box; except on this one, Jack isn’t only outside the box, he’s outside the room. Anyway, it works. Jack flees with Hasson as hostage and lets him out. Chloe gets the satellite coverage and just in time, Aron discovers she’s working with Jack. Aron has Cloe arrested and wants Jack brought in until she hears a phone call between Hasson and Omar that indicates Hasson is on his way to where Heller is being held.

This doesn’t help Jack very much because he robbed that convenience store, remember. Well, the cops don’t forget either. The night ends with Jack captured by cops while still in pursuit of Hasson.

BODY COUNT

Jack: 1 gratuitous wounding; 2 kills
Show: 53

SPECULATION

How will Maryann gum up the works? Like many liberal Democrats, Maryann is more concerned with her career than national security. She may even sell her soul to the terrorists if she thinks it will be beneficial to herself.

Secretary Heller ain’t no Chickenhawk! He’s killed two terrorists in an escape attempt already. Expect that when he’s beheaded (and folks, the writings on the wall on this one) he’ll try and make some grandiose, ultra patriotic gesture.

Jack will rescue Audrey. (Duh)

Chloe will not be arrested…maybe. Fat computer geek Edgar is now under the thumb of Maryann because she overheard Edgar helping Chloe. Great plot twist potential here.

Beruss will turn on his family. (Duh #2)

LOOSE END

Since when are black ski masks standard issue equipment for CTU field agents? Jack just happened to have one when he went in to rob the convenience store? Now that’s what I call convenience…

Stay tuned for next weeks installment of the “Chronicles of Jack” or “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Islamofacist Terrorists.”

« Older PostsNewer Posts »

Powered by WordPress