Right Wing Nut House

As you may or may not already be aware, members of the Watcher’s Council hold a vote every week on what they consider to be the most link-worthy pieces of writing around… per the Watcher’s instructions, I am submitting one of my own posts for consideration in the upcoming nominations process.
Here is the most recent winning council post, here is the most recent winning non-council post, here is the list of results for the latest vote, and here is the initial posting of all the nominees that were voted on.

We take you now to the Palace of Versailles where French President Monsieur Nose Hair is dining with American President George W. Bush.

George: What’s this stuff?

Nose Hair: It ees zee escargot.

George: Right. But what is it?

Nose Hair: It ees gewd for you, yes?

George: Yeah, right. But what the hell is it?

Nose Hair: The sauce, it ees gewd, yes?

George: Oh for God’s sake, answer the question!

Nose Hair: Teepical Amereecan cowboy. Always shot from zee hip, yes? Jean Wayne bang bang!

George: All I’m asking is what are you giving me to eat. It’s not like I’m asking you to send troops to Iraq.

Nose Hair: Zee French troops cannot go to Eeeraq.

George: Yes Mr. President, you’ve told me that a hundred times. I still want to know what it is that’s on my plate.

Nose Hair: We will refer zee question to the United Nations, tres bon, non?

George: Look…I’m not trying to build an international consensus here, all I want is a little information. Could you please tell me what this escargot is made of?

Nose Hair: Zee finest snails in all of Francais.

George: Did you say snails?

Nose Hair: Mais oui, mon ami.

George: And you expect me to eat this?

Nose Hair: Naturellement, mon frere. We expect all zee Amereecans to eat shit, no?

A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school.

However, when the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child’s classroom before a teacher noticed and shoo’ed him outside, closing the door behind him.

The dog sat down, whimpered and stared at the closed doors. Then God appeared beside the dog, patted his head and said, “Don’t feel bad fella’….they won’t let ME in either.”

HT: Joe Evans