Right Wing Nut House

For all you Tony Almeda fans out there, I have very bad news.

Tony will, very soon, return to the Dark Side and be Jack’s enemy while working to bring whatever the final goal of the conspiracy might be to fruition.

You could see it in his face while Emerson, his “brother” was lying severerly wounded. (Is he Dead? The fact that they carried his body to the back of the hangar before the traitors came to pick up Maboto would seem to indicate that he is, in fact, dead. Or Jack would be the perfect customer in the Monty Pythons “Dead Parrot” sketch.)

Even before then, while Tony was describing how he felt after Emerson revived him you could see he still believes he’s been screwed by the government. And this begs the question; what happens when the CIP Module is safely in the hands of the good guys? Tony’s rationale for being on the government’s side evaporates which I believe will cause him to flip and rejoin his comrades in the conspiracy.

This sets up some pretty high drama with Jack probably being the one who is forced to kill Tony (permanently) in the end. Judging by how fast this plot is moving, that might not happen for a few years.

I will reiterate my complaint about the pace of the show. It is deadly slow with precious little suspense, very little action, and some god-awful speechifying by Maboto, President Taylor, and others. That blather the President spread around the cabinet room should be grounds for her impeachment. She would rather see 200,000 American die than Sangalese? Being a “force for good” in the world is hardly relevant when you have dead Americans all over the place. The point is, she has a choice. And she is choosing dead Americans over dead Sangalese. Nobody said the choice was easy. But in the end, she is violating her oath of office by protecting foreigners at the expense of American citizens.

The story lines are interesting but, as I said last week, are not converging. At all. They continue in a straight line with their own exposition and character development. It appears that next week, we will finally have convergence as the Tony/Jack/CTU thread will merge with the Dubaku/Emerson thread. The First Gentleman thread and the White House thread appear static with the president in the dark about Jack’s op as well as her husband’s efforts to uncover the conspiracy that killed their son. The FBI thread is off in limbo somewhere.

We know they have to stretch the show out for 24 hours but this is awful. Six hours into the show before Jack gets his first full Kill? This is not the 24 that I knew…

SUMMARY

Agent Larry Moss is frantic with worry about Renee, after NSA intercepted a domestic call without a warrant from Emerson to the traitors working for Dubaku indicating that Walker was a gone goose. Seeing Larry’s distress (he is madly in love with her) Agent Hillinger offers condlolences only to have his head bitten off by Moss for even suggesting she might be dead. And the hunt for Maboto continues at the FBI.

Chloe and Bill arrive at the still empty construction site where Jack and Tony have buried Renee. One might ask how they got there until we recall that they implanted a listening device on Jack so they know everything that has transpired. One might also ask how they knew exactly where Renee’s body was but then, we wouldn’t have to suspend belief and where would we be?

After pulling the unrealistic “Adreniline in the heart” move, Renee gasps and sits up. Lazarus was probably a little groggy after being told to “come forth,” but Renee pops right up, dead one minute, ready to kill terrorists the next. When they fill her in on Jack and what he’s really up to, she is strangely hostile. She gets even crabbier when Bill tells her she can’t call Larry and tell him she’s ok. The threesome heads for the rendevous where Jack will be.

On the way there, Jack gets around to asking Emerson how they revived Tony after he was dead. Well, it seems that Tony was never really dead - it just looked that way when his heart stopped beating. It turns out that old Buckaroo Banzai, Henderson himself, only faked injecting Tony in the vein - missing it just enough to make him appear to be dead.

What can you possibly say about such idiocy? I was laughing out loud listening to this crap as Jack ate it up and never blinked an eye. I hate it when the writers take us for dolts and that explanation was so incredible that they must have no respect for the intelligence of their audience at all.

At any rate, it gave Tony a chance to emote. Well, given Carlos Bernard’s “talent,” he emoted as much as we can expect any cheesy actor to emote. He scowled a little bit more. His eyes became even more hooded. And in his monotone growl, he nearly whispered that Emerson convinced him that the government was the enemy for killing his beloved Michelle. “No honor left,” he grunted.

That Tony. What an actor.

But Emerson saw something he didn’t like from Jack. And when Jack got out of the van and moved to the rear to get Maboto and his wife, Emerson suddenly grabbed Jack’s gun, placed Bauer in a choke hold, and asked Tony what was going on.

Of course, Jack screamed at Tony to shoot Emerson - his friend and brother. Tony hesitates just long enough to let us know that he really is torn at this point (which gives life to my theory that he will, in fact, betray them all) but finally fires and hits Emerson in the shoulder. Before the terrorist can raise his gun to kill Tony, Jack puts one in his neck.

Tony tries to minister to the stricken terrorist but it is apparently too late. Emerson spits his last breath at Tony, telling him to go to hell, that he’s not forgiven.

In the meantime, Jack opens the back of the van to find a surprised and distrustful Maboto. Very politely, Jack explains that he really didn’t mean to almost kill he and his wife with poison gas, that they were only trying to get to Dubaku. And by the way, Mr. Prime Minister, would you please get back in the van so we can hand you and your wife over to your deadly enemy anyway?

Maboto looks dubious until his wife tells him “He has no reason to lie.” Besides, one look at Jack and you know he’s trustworthy. He’s the kind of guy that when he was a kid would impress all the adults in the neighborhood with his good manners and respectful attitude, while at night, he would go into their back yards and rip up their gardens and garrotte their cats.

The Prime Minister finally agrees and Chloe springs into action. She has a device that fits on to one of the Prime Minister’s teeth that will allow the gang to keep track of him. But Maboto is still a little confused about who he’s dealing with.

Maboto (to Chloe): Are you with the FBI?

Chloe: No. I’m just a stay-at-home mom.

Thoroughly confused now but trusting in Jack, Maboto gets back in the van.

Walker is still mad at Jack. What’s she got to complain about? Aside from shooting her in the neck and burying her alive, Jack hasn’t really done anything to her. For Jack, that’s just a little foreplay. Anyway, Walker finally realizes that Jack didn’t have a choice which, as we all know, is the first step toward true love.

Back at Dubaku’s hideout, the genocidal colonel is getting antsy. The deadline has passed and the American military is still poised to deliver some shock and awe to his boss, General Juma. After sending Nichols off to pick up Maboto - ordering him to eliminate Emerson and his crew - Dubaku orders the American techies to change the course of an aircraft over Washington.

At the White House, Kanin once again tries to get the President to pull the troops back to save American lives. Her stubborness now has a price tag as Dubaku calls and tells her to look out the White House window. He has vectored two planes on the same flight path and suddenly, they collide. We are told that 270 people died in the middair collision with more dead on the ground. Dubaku - his point made - threatens to kill 10,000 more Americans unless the troops are withdrawn.

Taylor heads immediately into a cabinet meeting where everyone recommends pulling back - except her. This proves too much for the Secretary of State Joe Stevens who resigns after predicting that once all the information was made available she would be impeached for her “reckless” foreign policy.

This resignation calls for a patriotic speech from Madame President. We hear that the world looks to the US for hope, that we have always been a “force for good” in the world and that by gum! we’ve got to live up to that credo by sacrificing American boys on a distant battlefield where there’s no possible vital interest at stake for America as well as allowing the deaths of thousands more innocent Americans at home. All this to save some foreigners who are in danger.

How brave! How noble we are!

How sickening.

I did find it interesting that the show ignored the dominant liberal narrative of the past 8 years by saying we have always been a force for “good” in the world and that we had what amounts to a moral authority in that regard. But the idea that our reputation rises or falls based on how willing we are to sacrifice our blood and treasure for someone else is lunacy.

Anyway, it seems to buck up some of the cabinet. But not Kamin and the Homeland Security Secretary Woods. They think they can use the First Gentleman to intercede and try to make his wife listen to reason. Kamin decides to call him and see if he will do it.

Henry is a little busy at the moment. More accurately, he’s a little tied up - by Secret Service Agent Brian who spiked Taylor’s coffee with a nerve agent. He’s sitting on the couch when dark haird Samantha arrives. And since he can’t speak a word to warn her, Gedge is able to sneak up behind her. She dies bloody, as I wrote in my first summary, and as all dark haired women on the show eventually do, right in front of Henry.

Kamin chooses that moment to call Brian. He can’t get through to Henry. Well, of course not, says Brian, he’s in Sam’s apartment and I’m out here in my car waiting. Kamin orders Brian to tell Henry to buzz him immediately but Brian has other plans.

Taking a hunk of telephone wire, he throws it over a beam on the upper floor. But Henry is getting feeling back in his hands and when Brian goes to hang him, the two struggle breifly before they topple over the railing and fall on a table below. Henry is fortunate enough to have been on top and thus endeth the life of Brian, crooked Secret Service Agent.

At the hangar, Nichols shows up to collect Maboto. Tony gives him a cock and bull story about killing Emerson because he wanted the diamonds they were going to receive in payment all for himself. Nichols never bats an eye, allowing Tony to examine the diamonds. Then, when he has Maboto and his wife in hand, he gives the 24 head nod that all bad guys give instead of just saying “Shoot the mother.” However, Jack and his high powered rifle has Tony’s back and Bauer gets his first real kill of the show when he knocks off Tony’s would be assassin. Tony tells Nichols to get lost and the traitor gets in the car with Maboto and his wife in tow.

Back at Sam’s apartment we have a “situation” as it were. The First Gentleman is lying on the floor, still barely able to move, with two dead bodies and a knife that has his fingerprints on it. What’s a presidential spouse to do? Run, rabbit, run.

After the planes crash, Dubaku sees that the President is still not doing as she has been told. Cooly, he orders the next target to be primed. It’s a small anytown America in Ohio with a chemical plant on the outskirts of town. We are informed that casualties will be close to 18,000 unless Jack can get there in time and foil Dubaku’s evil plans.

Will the First Gent be wanted for murder? Will Jack be able to save the town from disaster? Will Tony ever learn how to act?

Stay tuned until next week.

BODY COUNT

We hear that 270 are dead on the plane - a number that may rise if they tell us how many died on the ground.

Tony got one of Emerson’s men in the hangar.

The First Gentleman made sure there is one less bent Secret Service agent.

Jack got his first kill all his own - a bullseye with the sniper’s rifle. Since it would pain Tony to share in killing Emerson, we will give him a half and Jack a half.

Jack: 2
Show: 281