Right Wing Nut House

It’s a good thing my computer is about 5 feet from my bed. If it were any further away, my chances of posting anything this week would have been significantly reduced.

I feel just aaaawful. But, being the eternal optimist that I am, I think I’ve hit rock bottom today and am now on the mend.

But illness will not be vouchsafed as an excuse for failure to post the results of our Watchers vote. And since I was remiss in posting last week’s results as well (actually, I was sulking because of my horrible showing in that vote), I must therefore make this a twoferone post.

Enjoy.

Results from w/e 9/15:

COUNCIL

1. “Your Chance of Dying in a Terrorist Attack” by Socratic Rythmn Method

2. (tie) ” Three Strands Not Easily Broken” by Soccer Dad.

2. (tie) “9/11 Ambiguities” by Shrinkwrapped.

4. “A Little Journalistic Arrogance” by Rymes with Right.

NON COUNCIL

1. “And At Night, I Dream Of You…” by Villainous Company

2. (tie) “Ten Reasons Why the West Will Lose the War on Terror (the pessimist’s view)” by TMH Bacon Bits.

2. (tie) “Countdown To 9/11: My Days With the Dead” by Greetings from the French Hill.

2. (tie) “The Shadow of our Hand” by The Belmont Club.

2. (tie) “A General Theory of Just About Everything” by Crosscurrents.

Results from w/e 9/22:

COUNCIL

1. “You’ll Never Know What We Did’” by Done with Mirrors.

2. “That Was Not a “Blunder.” It’s Just An Excuse to Kill Infidels” by Gates of Vienna.

NON COUNCIL

1. “Just Outside Westminster Cathedral Today…” by Joee Blogs — A Catholic Londoner.

2. “What did you do this Summer?” by Murdoc Online.

If you’d like to participate in the weekly Watchers Vote, go here and follow instructions.

The votes are in from this week’s Watchers Council and the winner in the Council category for best post was Jimmie at The Sundries Shack for “It’s Not a War. It’s a Trendy Buzzword!”

There was a three way tie for second:

Yours truly for “9/11 Tin Foil Hats are Melting”

“It Is Time for Jews to Think About Leaving Western Europe” byJoshuapundit

“Condi’s Civil War’ by Done with Mirrors

Finishing first in the non Council category was “Hezbollah Probably Lost the War, But They May Never Have Been In It To Win” by Mere Rhetoric.

If you’d like to participate in the Watchers weekly vote, go here and follow instructions.

The results are in for this week’s Watchers Council vote and carrying home the prize for first place in the Council category is Gates of Vienna for “Empire and Apocalypse.” Finishing in a tie for second was Soccer Dad for “Targeted Killings, Moral Consideration” and “Meanwhile in Darfur” by Joshuapundit.

Finishing first in the non Council category was “Check or Checkmate? Death by Cop on the Global Stage” by Kobayashi Maru.

If you’d like to participate in the weekly Watcher’s Council vote, go here and follow instructions.

My victories in the weekly Watchers Council competition have been few and far between this year. Therefore, I declare today “Victory Thursday” in honor of my post “Iraq: Quit or Commit” emerging victorious.

One reason for my dearth of wins has been the addition of so many good writers. That and I believe Shrinkwrapped places subliminal messages in his posts ordering us to vote for his entries. He can do that. He’s a shrink, ya know. And can we help it that we’re held spellbound by his fascinating digressions into the human mind as it relates to politics?

And while we’re on the subject, I have no doubt that Callimachus should be banned from further Council competitions. It’s no fair that I feel the urge to vote for his posts every week. Someone who writes so well and makes so much sense should simply move on in order to leave me to my mediocrity and feelings of inferiority.

And now that Dymphna is feeling better (God Bless you, woman) I have to worry about her every week. Bad enough she’s smarter than me. Why does she always have such fascinating material to write about?

I have no patience with writers like Jimmie. What takes me 3000 words to say, the Shackman nails it in 500 or less. And if I had his passion, I wouldn’t need those stupid little blue pills.

What about Dave? He’s a pain in the neck for us rabble rousers. Anyone so reasonable and who writes with such clarity desperately needs an injection of bile so that he can be just as incoherent as I am.

The Wonks need to get a life outside of the classroom. On second thought, then we’d lose the most valuable perspective on education in the blogosphere.

Greg is another one of those “reasonable” bloggers who actually uses things like facts and logic to make his points. Whatever happened to good old fashioned all-American out of control rants?

When I first started to read Joshuapundit, I thought “Oh lovely…another WOT blog. Just what I need.” After reading about 3 posts, I was hooked. Dead on commentary with a twist of humor now and again. Much too palatable…

Imagine my outrage when I found at that Soccer Dad had joined our little group. I almost wrote to the Watcher in protest since I had been reading SD for about a year already and knew damn well that his addition meant he would get the “family values” vote every week. That and his incisive, well researched posts spelled trouble.

Newbie Matt Barr calls his blog “Socratic Rhythm Method.” Even though it sounds like the preferred birth control strategy that my erudite and intellectual parents used (they had 10 kids), I was amazed that, like Socrates, I felt like drinking hemlock after reading a few posts and realizing that I had one more Council member to worry about every week.

Finally, I knew I was in trouble the moment I read newbie AbbaGav’s post “Hizballah Entertainment News: Way to Go Mel!” An Israeli who can find humor in the Hizzies? It’s not fair…just not fair…

So I better enjoy my victory while I have it. Judging by the competition I have every week, opportunities to give my Peter Pan crow would seem to be extremely limited for the foreseeable future.

Oh…finishing first in the Non Council category this past week was “Bad Faith” by 3AM Magazine.

And if you’d like to participate in the Watcher’s competition every week, go here and follow instructions.

Okay, so I blew it. I like totally forgot to post last week’s winners and losers (yours truly falling into the latter category) in the Watchers Vote. And it was only by the grace of God that I remembered to send in a post for this week’s vote.

Allow me to remedy my malfeasance before the Watcher sends me one of his “Dear Rick” emails with all sorts of veiled threats and matter of fact recitations of the horrible penalties involved for not following the rules of the Council. The consequences are secret but I can tell you that they are not pretty and that they involve someone named “Mistress Diana” and a whip, chains, with lots and lots of leather.

Results from W/E 8/11

COUNCIL:

1. Done with Mirrors for “We Could be Heroes”

2. AbbaGav for “A Few Points That Are Not Morally Equivalent”

3. Shrinkwrapped for “Clans of the Alphane Moon”

4. Joshuapundit for “The War Against the Jews and the War Against Us”

NON COUNCIL:

1. One Cosmos for “Israel has no Right to Exist”

2. Shape of Days for “A Photojournalist Weighs in on the Adnan Hajj Scandal”

3. Abu Aardvark for “Islamist Bandwagons”

Results from W/E 8/18

COUNCIL:

1. Shrinkwrapped for “A Questionable Assumption”

2. Yours Truly for “A Hinge of History”

NON COUNCIL

1. Eteraz for “Muslim Musings on British Muslims”

2. The People’s Cube for “Flat Fatima — Revolution In News Photography”

If you’d like to participate in the weekly Watchers Vote, go here and follow instructions.

The votes are in and have been tabulated from the most recent Watchers Council vote. And the winner in the Council category is “They’re Not What You’ve Been Told, They’re Our Neighbors’ Kids” from newcomer AbaGav. Finishing in a three way tie for second (would have been four if I bothered to vote last week) were:

2. “More on Doha” from The Glittering Eye
2. “The Qana Strike… the Making of a Hezbo-wood Production” by Joshuapundit
2. “Guilt versus Shame” from Shrinkwrapped.

In the non Council category, Treppenwitz won with “A Difficult Lesson.”

Let’s all give a big welcome to the excellent blog Soccer Dad who joined the group this week.

And if you’d like to participate in the Watchers Council vote, go here and follow instructions.

Thinking of ice cream cones today - two scoops of double chocolate fudge brownie on a chocolate cone with hot chocolate, nuts, and a cherry on top.

Not that my waistline can afford it but…

Rather, here’s a double scoop of Watchers Councils results for your eating pleasure…

RESULTS FROM W/E 7/21

COUNCIL

1st Place: When History Bites Back by Joshuapundit.

2nd Place: Blogging for Dummies Like Me by The Sundries Shack

NON-COUNCIL

1st Place: Wither the ‘Democratization Strategy’? by Tigerhawk.

2nd Place: Beheading Nations — The Islamization of Europe’s Cities by Dhimmi Watch

RESULTS FROM W/E 7/28

COUNCIL

1st Place: A Perspective on Tribes and Anti-Semitism by Shrinkwrapped

2nd Place: As Old as the Garden of Eden by Gates of Vienna

NON-COUNCIL

1st Place: Mayhem at the Defend Hizballah Rally! by Solomonia

2nd Place: Worst Case Scenario: Hezbollah’s Conventional Forces by Counterterrorism Blog

If you’d like to enter the Watcher’s Council weekly contest, go here and follow instructions.

And, due to the resignation of AJ Strata, a spot has opened up on the Council. If you’re interested in serving, go here and read carefully.

Sad to see AJ go -a great blogger with great insight into several national security issues. He will be sorely missed. And I hope he still finds time to blog about issues he has informed all of us on over these many months.

Attention K-Mart shoppers! Two for one! Two For One! Get ‘em while they last!

That’s right, in keeping with my recent dereliction of duty when it comes to updating y’all on the goings on with the Watchers Council, I am once again forced by circumstance and by virtue of my utter and complete laziness to post the last two Watchers Council results.

Here, for your edification and amusement, are the results from 7/7:

Council Posts

1. The Wild, Wild West(ern Europe) by Gates of Vienna

2. A 5 way tie for second! Unprecedented! Unheard of! It was me,, Joshuapundit, New World Man, Done with Mirrors, and The Glittering Eye.

Non Council Posts

1. “Declaration of Independence: A Fisking” by Outside the Beltway.

2. “Sometimes Even the Good Ones Lose Their Way” by Shape of Days.

Results for Week Ending 7/14

Council Posts

1. Bleeding Iraq by me.

2. Rant Control by Done with Mirrors.

Non Council Posts

1. Singing Out of the Flock by Iraq the Model.

2. Cry Havoc, and Let Slip the Puppies of War by Asia Times Online

If you would like to participate in the weekly Watchers Council vote, go here and follow instructions.

And if you’re a blogger and interested in joining the Council, a seat has opened up with the retirement of one the Council’s stars. Dr. Sanity will be stepping down to write a book. She will be missed by everyone for her extraordinary insights into humanity and her scathing critiques of leftist thought.

What I won’t miss about her is the fact that she beat the tar out of me week after week on the Council votes for best post. Just kidding of course. Most of those weeks she beat me out, I voted for her post as one of the best. She has a remarkable gift and I’m sure her book will be a great success.

If you’re interested in joining the Council, go here and follow instructions.

I think I need a drink. Bad. Bourbon, if you don’t mind. Make it a double, please - no ice.

I find as we almost reach the point of midsomer’s eve - when fairies and pixies dance around the sacred fire in the woods and the elves work their magic to torment us mortals - that the level of my ambition to do a decent day’s worth of writing for this site falls exactly to the level of my concern over my personal appearance.

As I sit at my desk, my hair is mussed, I haven’t shaved in 2 days, Zsu-Zsu has taken to maintaining a polite and proper distance from me (even in bed) and my cats are eying me with baleful glances of haughty disdain - as if I am an inferior being because I am unable to keep clean by licking myself all over.

I suppose I should break down and take a shower but to tell you the truth, there is something glorious in feeling grungy. Is this how our paleolithic ancestors felt all the time? I feel like grunting. Not the mindless ruttings of liberal commentators but rather the deep, satisfied vocalizations of a man at peace with his slovenliness and grateful for the primal sin of sloth.

I am revelling in my indolence, celebrating my apathy. My cup runneth over (and down my chin) with joy at the prospect of lazing in my bed watching re-runs of Law and Order at midday. Perhaps I’ll pop a movie into the VCR or slip a Gretchen Wilson CD into the player and kick back a spell. Maybe I’ll get lost in my Norwich, dreaming the dreams of the Byzantium emperors who failed finally and utterly to resist the advance of Islam. We are still paying for their stupidity today.

I could do any number of things. But before I can tend to my own psychic needs, the Watcher demands a pound of my flesh for neglecting he and my fellow council members over the last two weeks. Ergo, before I can play, I must pay:

Council results for W/E June 23rd:

Council Category

First Place: “The Iraqi Insurgency Has No Central Command” by The Glittering Eye.

Second Place: “Children in Danger From the UN” by Gates of Vienna.

Non Council Category

First Place: “The Jihadi Network’s Fatal Flaw” from The American Thinker

Second Place: “Srebrenica, Kosovo, Unknown” by New Sisyphus

Council results for W/Ed June 30:

Council Category

First Place: “The Dance of Escalation and Reaction” by Shrinkwrapped

Second Place: “How Do You Solve a Problem Like… Korea?” by The Glittering Eye

Non Council Category

First Place: “It’s an Islamic Jihad, Stupid” from Townhall.

Second Place: “Peter, Paul, and Ingrate” from Florida Cracker

If you’d like to participate in next week’s Watcher’s Council contest, go here and follow instructions.

The votes for this week’s Watchers Council are in and the winner in the Council category was ME! for my post “Spinning their Way to Defeat in November.” Finishing second was “Outer Darkness” by Gates of Vienna.

Coming out on top in the Non Council category was A Newer World’s “One Liberal’s Argument for Still Staying in Iraq.”

If you’d like to participate in the weekly Council vote, go here and follow instructions.