Right Wing Nut House

Everybody.

In hopes that my speculation does not elicit more groans, here is an offering:

Now for my favorite part: Jack puts a bullet in Marwan’s head. No reason, just because.
ROCK ON — Comment by Diamond

MOLE: I still say it’s Sec. of Defense Heller himself, somehow as a ruse for making the case for more DoD security funding. The previews of next week show moonbat dopey son Richard Heller, we knew he’d be back. But a possible nefarious connection with Richard and Marwan is so obvious, how could that possibly be?

NUKE: Hey, I said DC.

Comment by The MaryHunter

Speculation: Jack buys the farm, because he is distraught that he cannot hang on to a woman.

Next season, Chloe realizes she likes being a bitch with a gun and takes over as head of field operations. Edgar goes to a fat farm and loses weight so he can be a field operative as revenge for the killing of his mon and be with Chloe (we find out during next season that he secretly likes being beaten down by Chloe because she treats him like his mommy did). Tony and Michelle get back together for no other reason than no TV show is perfect. The mole is….the guy with the red Star Trek shirt and fake phaser in the background because he is angry about the network no re-upping Star Trek Enterprise. –

Comment by Hector

Oh well…maybe I’ll try posting the contest a little earlier on Sunday.

Don’t forget…next Monday is the night! A two-hour season finale!

With a little more than 24 hours to go before this week’s exciting episode, it’s time for our 24 Till “24″ Speculation contest!

Leave your funniest, weirdest, most logical, or most outrageous speculation below. You can speculate on anything you’d like but here’s some questions to get you started:

1. What will be the fate of Tony and Michelle? I’ve been speculating for months that they’ll agree to “give it another try” only to have Tony die saving Jack’s ass.

2. More “Who’s the Mole” speculation. I hinted last week that there’s a possibility it could be Michelle. Did anything happen last week to give you an idea of who else it might be?

3. Where’s the nuke targeted? I say DC.

4. What will happen to Marwan? Will he escape? Will fat geek Edgar go postal on him for killing his beloved mother? Will he make a deal?

Okay you “24″ fanatics…give it to me. The best speculation will appear in my post around 4:00 pm central tomorrow.

So Marwan is finally in the bag. But with missile going up, up, and away is it too late? Marwan certainly thinks so.

The fact is, the missile is a SRBM - Short Range Ballistic Missile - with a range of no more than 1000 miles. Flight time is measured in minutes. No time for Dr. Feel Good at CTU to use his little black bag of needles and potions to get Marwan to talk. No time to warm up any Patriot Missile batteries. No time for a “Star Wars” type solution. No time for Jack to beat the info out of the fanatical Marwan.

There’s just no time.

Looks like it will be up to the geeks to save the day. Somehow, Chloe or fat geek Edgar have to come up with a way to either detonate the missile in the atmosphere or steer it away from a population center. My money is on Edgar. He was able to shut down the chain reactions at the nuke plants. What’s a little missile compared to that?

SUMMARY

Jack is kicked out of the operating room where the Doctor, desperately trying to save Lee, finally tires of Jack’s incessant badgering. In the hallway, he confronts a grieving Audrey who tells him to “just leave, Jack.” He runs into Bill who assures him he did the right thing. Huh? Perhaps its an indication of how far our heroes have sunk into the morass of amoral expediency but Bill’s words, meant to be comforting I’m sure, ring a little hollow considering that Jack just killed his love’s husband.

After being informed by Palmer that his little excursion at the Chinese Consulate resulted in the death of the Consular Chief, Jack gets his crew together and informs them how much trouble they’re in. Agent Bern, who was unmasked and whose visage was caught on the security tape, realizes he may be in trouble.

Sure enough, the Chinese security chief Mr. Chiang ID’s the CTU agent and calls Michelle. He wants to stop by and discuss the matter and to hell with your national security crisis. Michelle fobs him off but the clock starts ticking on the Chinese time bomb.

Palmer and Novik come up with a plausibly deniable scenario involving Chinese terrorists. The self-satisfied look on their faces for being so clever will disappear soon enough. In the meantime, President Jellyfish makes an appearance. After ranting about the consulate raid, Novik makes the mistake of telling the Spineless One that the death of the Consular Chief was just “unlucky.”

JELLYFISH: Unlucky? HA HA. Yeah, I’d say we were unlucky. That’s the kind of thing that can start a war! (whining like a 10 year old girl) How am I supposed to fight terrorists if I’m provoking a nuclear superpower?

PALMER: I would advise you to calm down sir if we are going to get through this day. We didn’t bring this crisis on ourselves. But we’re going to be the ones to settle it. This is a dirty business and we’re going to have to get our hands dirty to clean it up. You brought me here to help you. Now let me do it!

What a tool.

After the Secretary of State orders Michelle to cooperate, Mr. Chiang drops by CTU for a visit. His interview with Jack is priceless. Bill Clinton has nothing on Jack when it comes to being able to look someone in the eye and lie through his teeth. Jack pooh-poohs the authenticity of the Bern photo and easily fends off Chiangs accusations. Everything is going swimmingly until Bern casually walks up to Chloe’s desk in full view of Chiang and starts to chit chat. With some quick thinking, Jack hustles Bern out of the building and into a waiting helicopter.

If the scenario were to play out logically, Palmer would order Bern’s death. That may happen yet. But after Audrey is interviewed by Chiang about Jack’s whereabouts during the time in question and isn’t very convincing and after a chance meeting in the hallway with fat geek Edgar who confirms his suspicions, Chiang orders his people to get everything they have on Jack. It looks like Jack is going to become a target for the Chinese security services.

Back in the recovery room, Mr. Lee regains consciousness and is grilled by Jack. As it turns out, Paul did not die in vain as Mr. Lee fingers Marwan’s hideout. Jack readies his team to go to the warehouse where Marwan is directing the attack. Audrey confronts him in the hallway about having to lie to the Chinese to cover Jack’s ass:

AUDREY: Jack, what are you doing? You’ve broken every major protocol set by DoD and CTU and for what? Is any of this working?

JACK: You’re still alive. (Good point! ed.) Your father is still alive. And we managed to stop all but one power plant from melting down. Yeah, it’s working. And we have to keep it working.

Chloe’s “personality disorder” makes another appearance when Jack stops by her work station for some DoD files that Audrey needs to authorize access to:

CHLOE: That’s got to be weird.

JACK: What?

CHLOE: Talking to Audrey. I mean, you had to do what you did but her husband died. It’s probably destroyed your relationship with her.

JACK: Chloe, just please free up the server!

That’s our girl!

Palmer gives Novik the distasteful job of having to ask President Jellyfish to order Chiang out of the CTU office so that our people can do their jobs. The scene in Logan’s office is painful. After whining that everyone is against him, Novik slaps Jellyfish down by asking him if he should tell Palmer to leave. The cur acquiesces like the beaten dog he is.

With his tactical team in place, Jack and Curtis enter the warehouse. Having just set the countdown for the missile in motion, Marwan is on his way out. Will he escape the clutches of Jack again? Not this time, slimeball! They surround the terrorist mastermind and after a nice little subterfuge involving Curtis driving his prey toward Jack we get the enormously satisfying picture of Marwan coming out the door and looikng directly into the barrel of Jack’s gun. The look of triumph on Jack’s face says it all.

Just to make sure that the slippery Marwan won’t escape, Jack casually puts a bullet in the terrorist’s leg. After kneeling on the wound, it’s all Jack can do to keep from blowing Marwan’s brains out. Several agonizing seconds pass as Jack struggles to maintain control. He doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t ask Marwan anything. He simply holds the gun to Marwan’s head with a look of maniacal fury on his face. Marwan, for once truly frightened, blurts out that he won’t stop the missile.

That seems to bring Jack back to earth as its the first they’ve heard of the nuke being mounted on a missile. Curtis finds the laptop with the uplink to the missile site in Iowa. There’s less than a minute to go. The uplink is encrypted so CTU can’t access missile control. They can’t get a lock on the missile’s location. Jack, Curtis, CTU, and the rest of us stand by helplessly while the missile ignites and in a fiery burst rises majestically into the pre dawn sky headed for…where? We still don’t know. But the look of hate on Jack’s face as he glances over at Marwan’s smug, self satisfied visage tells the story.

The missile is on its way and it doesn’t look like anything can be done to stop it.

BODY COUNT

CTU sniper takes out a terrorist. Jack plugs two before capturing Marwan.

Jack: 42

Show: 226

Chloe: 1

SPECULATION

Anyone notice the look on Michelle’s face when the missile was about to launch? Did I detect - possibly - the beginning of a…smile? Just prior to the missile’s final countdown, Chloe experienced a denial of service attack on her satellite network. Since the mole is still unknown, is it possible that Michelle????

Just wondering.

The capture of Marwan doesn’t end it. Next week, the mole hunt begins in earnest. And before he or she is found, I expect two or three false positives in identifying the traitor and maybe even a false negative or two.

DON’T FORGET TO STOP BY THE HOUSE SUNDAY NIGHT FOR MY SPECULATION CONTEST “24 TILL 24″

The entries are in for the best, the looniest, and the funniest speculation for tonight’s episode from my “24 Till 24″ post. And the winners are:

SPECULATION MOST LIKELY TO GET A LAUGH:

Winner: Van Helsing
Speculation: Who Richard Heller told about his dad’s visit

Meanwhile, it will be revealed that Sec. of Defense Heller’s son was secretly in contact with KIM BAUER (hey, we’ve got to get Kim back somehow) who in her usual way blabbed the information to parties that were monitoring her phone conversations.

Remember poor Richard? I spent about three weeks speculating who he told about his dad’s visit to his house when Secretary Heller tried to talk him out of going to the anti-war demonstration. Then the writers dropped it, the bastards.

As for Kim Bauer, ever since she starred as a porn queen in that movie I can’t remember the title for, I’ve ached to have her back on the show but alas, I don’t think that is to be.

SPECULATION MOST LIKELY TO ELICIT A GROAN

Winner: Diamond
Speculation: How CTU will stop the nuke

Now as to how to stop the nuke. Could it be that someone inside the operation to damage America actually gets cold feet and his over riding love of country makes him act in his and his families own interest and he F****up the plans with Jacks help?

Diamond, (who’s other comments are intelligent and thoughtful) jumped the shark on this one. I will say if that speculation comes true, I’m gonna throw my popcorn at the screen!

MOST IMAGINATIVE SPECULATION

Winner: Scott
Speculation: Tony is the Mole!

Wild, but still a possibility. Is Marwan that clever, that he’d get to Tony before Jack needed him? Yes he’s proven that in the past. So it’s not impossible.

However, I think we’re looking for someone in the defense establishment here because of one overriding piece of evidence; the transponder code for the football. Only someone high up could have gotten that for Marwan.

CONSENSUS SPECULATION

Paul is dead. (If you play the videotape backwards, you can hear Jack say “Paul is dead” 7 times)

The nuke will not detonate on US soil (Oh, my naive readers! Of course it will. Probably not on a city though. I like Tim Mcfall’s guess here: The nuke will be detonated in the atmosphere off the East coast after Jack, while not able to prevent its launch does change its direction.

As for the mole hunt, we have 2 Audrey’s, 1 Tony, 1 Walter Cummings, with The Maryhunter giving us Mike Novik and Paul Raines (dead, remember?) as possibles.

We may find out tonight although more likely the last night where I guarantee you will sh*t in your pants at least 4 times over the two hour finale.

SPECULATION MOST LIKELY TO CAUSE YOU TO LOSE YOUR COOKIES

Winner: The Maryhunter
Speculation: I can’t even write it without gagging…

Bonus Speculation on FGE (fat geek Edgar) and Chloe: some koochey-koo (or at least a tender moment) when Chloe finally freaks out at the end of the show for killing that guy and Edgar comforts her, even as he weeps for his dead ma.

FGE and Chloe: definitely made for each other, complementary halves of the same yummy geek pie.

Puhleez!

Thanks to all for playing. Come again next Sunday night for another edition of “24 Till 24.”

With only three nights to go in the series (the finale will be a two hour long roller coaster ride, thank God!), I thought I would try a new feature for Sunday night in which you, my loyal “24″ fanatics, can give me your wildest, funniest, and/or most outrageous speculation on how Jack is going to save the United States for the fourth straight year.

First, some speculation from me and a set up:

1. Who’s the mole? Who gave Marwan the trasponder codes for the football? Where did all the American mercs who are helping Marwan come from? How were they able to kidnap the Secretary of State way back in the beginning of the show?

My guess: AUDREY HELLER!

2. Will Marwan be able to launch the nuke? What city is targeted?

Yes, and say goodbye to D.C. As if to prove the show’s conservative tilt, the writers will nuke Washington and fullfil a secret fantasy that conservatives have harbored for more than a generation.

3. Is Paul really dead?

Yes, but would it suprise you if when the episode started tomorrow night his heart magically started to beat again?

Get the idea? Give me your best and I’ll do a post tomorrow night before the show with the best speculation!

The revelation that a Chinese national has been helping Marwan with the stolen nuclear weapon should not have come as much of a surprise. There’s some evidence that the notorious Pakistani nuclear scientist A. Q. Khan’s black market network of nuclear materials and expertise received significant contributions from the People’s Republic of China. In fact, both the Pakistani and North Korean bomb may be brought to us courtesy of Communist China.

Even though Jack dismissed the idea of Chinese government involvement with Marwan, in real life we may not be so lucky. The fact is, China has been gradually shifting its military strategy over the last decade to include “Unconventional Warfare” in its strategic calculations. This is in keeping with the age old Chinese strategy based on the ancient game of “Go” where stones are moved around a board presenting almost infinite permutations and options. Their assistance with the nascent nuclear programs of Pakistan and North Korea (as well as probably Iran and Libya) is part of their overall strategy of defense. As they see it, they cannot compete with the US technologically in the military sphere and won’t be able to for at least another 10 years (some analysts think 20 years is more accurate). Hence, by arming our potential enemies with nukes, they keep us too busy to bother much with them.

Meanwhile, they’re beginning to stalk Taiwan like a hungry cat. While a Communist Chinese invasion of the tiny island isn’t imminent, all signs point to Beijing wishing to solve its “Taiwan problem” sooner rather than later.

One more thing to chew on; the Chinese are the most patient people on the planet. With a civilization that goes back nearly 4000 years, they tend to take a really long view of things - much more so than we do in the West. With that in mind, here’s a quote from perhaps the most famous military strategist in history, Sun Tzu:

All warfare is based on deception. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.

- Sun Tzu, the Art of War

SUMMARY

President Jellyfish nearly swoons in relief when President Palmer shows up to help him. The scene is stomach churning. I hope that’s the last we see of this spineless, miserable excuse for a President.

In contrast to Logan’s cowardice, Chloe proves she’s got some real geek cohones when she hacks Ardakani’s hard drive in the field immediately after gunning down an assassin. The information leads to a Chinese national, one Lee Jong. A former Chinese nuke scientist, Jack reassures us that he’s not working with the Chinese government (hope so…as we’ll see shortly, we already have enough trouble with the Chicoms). Lee has taken refuge in the Chinese Consulate

As predicted, Audrey wants to go with Paul back east for treatment on his spine and set up house with him. Poor Jack doesn’t know yet but probably suspects as much. When he comes into the CTU medical ward to thank Paul for saving his life, he sees how close Audrey and Paul are. Given Audrey’s attitude toward Jack over the last few hours, he can hardly be surprised.

Back in the Presidential bunker, the crisis machinery of government is humming along nicely as Palmer takes charge. In a conversation with the Chinese Consul Mr. Khu, he asks very politely if they can please take Mr. Lee into custody so that we can torture the little bugger and find out where the hell Marwan’s nuke is before our east coast is toast.

Understandably, Mr. Khu is reluctant to give up a Chinese national and place him at the mercy of these barbarians from such a young country as the United States. He must get permission from the Premier. Since the formal greetings to the Premier alone will take 1/2 an hour, it’s doubtful Mr. Khu will get back to us in time. Sure enough, when Bill informs Palmer that all signs point to the nuke being used before sunrise on the east coast - less than two hours away - Palmer needs to make other arrangements.

Those other arrangements include Jack, of course. Not content with breaking most of the laws on the books in the United States to get to Marwan before its too late, Jack now must violate the UN Charter, half a dozen formal and informal agreements with China, and probably the Law of the Sea Treaty to get Lee out of the Consulate and into the waiting hands of Richard at CTU and his little black bag of magic truth potions. But of course, Jack has got to do the job without involving the government. If any of his CTU force is caught or killed, the Secretary (and the President) will disavow any knowledge of his actions. All that was missing from Palmer was “Good luck, Mr. Bauer.”

With Tony’s off the books help with satellite coverage from CTU, Jack enters the Consulate and makes his way toward the room where Lee is waiting. With the skills of a catburglar, Jack reaches the room and with two punches in two seconds knocks out both Lee and his babysitter. Making his way out is a lot more difficult than trying to break in as the entire Consulate is roused into action and guards start shooting wildly, missing Jack but hitting both Lee and Mr. Khu. In addition, the CTU driver is unmasked briefly, allowing a guard to see his face. He also gets a cut on the face that bleeds.

Can you say “Positive ID with conclusive DNA match?”

When the Assistant Consul calls to complain about the raid, Palmer is shocked, shocked I tell you that such a thing could happen. The implications involving the death of the Chinese Consul are serious indeed which is why Palmer offers to help:

Palmer: Your government will have my complete cooperation.

Asst. Consul: Thank you Mr. President. I’m sure you will be hearing from us again…very soon.

Said quite ominously with a dash of oriental inscrutability. I don’t think we’ve heard the last from the Chinese, have you?

And back at CTU Chloe gets a little geek support from fat geek Edgar. All I can say about this exchange between the two is “typical Chloe:

Chloe: Edgar, I appreciate your concern. I really do. It’s just that when I shot that guy I thought I’d go all fetal position. But the truth is, I didn’t feel anything at al. I hope I’m not some kind of psychopath.

FGE: Well, he was trying to kill you…

Chloe: Yeah, but still…

FGE: Maybe it’s a delayed reaction kind of thing. Maybe you’ll freak out about it in a couple of days.

Chloe: I hope so.

We hope so too, darlin’.

Meanwhile, Bill has a hissy fit when he finds out Jack went into the Consulate without his knowledge and takes it out on poor Tony who was only trying help Jack. Bill lets the bureaucrat get the better of him on this issue. The whole point was to keep people out of the loop which he would have realized if he wasn’t so concerned about his “turf” being violated. Tony suspects ulterior motives for Bill’s blowup relating to his relationship with Michelle and how she and Tony have been getting friendlier and friendlier as the hours go by.

Part of that friendliness is the result of a phone call from Trailer Trash Jen, Tony’s live-in girlfriend who’s been supporting him since he got out of jail and was wondering where the heck he was. After Michelle gets almost weepy at the prospect of her beloved Tony in the arms of another woman, Tony assures Michelle that he doesn’t love Jen (Jeez! Who could?) which seems to settle her down some.

The two of them are moving for some kind of reconciliation…probably just as the bomb goes off.

The final scene has more drama in it than 3 soap operas, two episodes of Law and Order, and the movie Titanic all rolled into one. Just as she was getting flight information for their trip back east, Audrey watches helplessly as Paul relapses and is rushed into emergency surgery. Meanwhile, after obtaining immunity for Mr. Lee from the President, Jack is on the way to the same emergency surgery unit at CTU with the critically wounded scientist. Something’s got to give and, unfortunately for Paul, national security trumps all.

The Dr. about ready to operate on Paul is reluctant to leave his patient knowing he will die - that is, until Jack uses his persuasive powers (and his gun) to convince the Doctor otherwise. As the doc examines Mr. Lee, Paul goes into defib and Jack and Curtis try to revive him. The doc can do nothing. Curtis can do nothing. Jack can do nothing.

Paul is dead. An angry and upset Audrey makes it pretty clear that Jack is going to have to make other sleeping arrangements from here on out.

And with a look that can only be described as that of a little lost boy, Jack tries to push the entire episode out of his mind so that he can do his job and save us all.

BODY COUNT

Mr. Khu succumbs to friendly fire. Paul doesn’t have to worry anymore about being paralyzed.

Jack: 40

Show: 223

Chloe: 1

SPECULATION

Look for Secretary of Defense Heller to make an appearance next week to comfort his daughter and give Jack what for about the Chinese operation. Jack may be looking for another job too.

I’m leaning toward the idea that Tony will be killed before the final episode. Just a feeling but I think after the coming reconciliation with Michelle, his demise will come swiftly…probably saving Jack’s life.

The indecisiveness of President “Jellyfish” Logan in dealing first with the interrogation of Pardo and then with the aftermath of his blunder in trying to arrest Jack for personal reasons gives us a glimpse into why Presidential leadership in a national crisis is so profoundly important. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said “No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character.” The elevation of Logan to the Presidency has, in the crucible of crisis, revealed a petty, equivocal, sniveling wimp of a man whose predilection for blaming others for his own blunders as well as his whining, self pitying rant about “not deserving to be President” proves him unworthy of high office.

And this puts the United States in quite a pickle, doesn’t it? When the President freezes as Logan did, the consequences can be unthinkable. During the Cuban missile crisis, Kennedy very deservedly got high marks for managing the crisis expertly. He went by the dictum that “In a crisis, if something needs to be done immediately, it’s probably too late to make a difference.” By first keeping the crisis a secret and then carefully managing information given to the public, he was able to direct his cabinet and the national security apparatus toward the dual goals of avoiding war and getting the missiles out of Cuba. And while his secret deal (not revealed until a couple of years ago) to trade our missiles in Turkey for the Cuban weapons has taken some of the luster off JFK’s accomplishment, it was nevertheless a classic example of good crisis management.

This exchange reveals the barely concealed contempt Novik feels toward his cowardly boss:

NOVIK: CTU is waiting for us to call them back with a directive. What do you want to do, (long pause. Said with disgust) Mr. President?

LOGAN: I have no idea. And that’s the problem isn’t it?

Indeed. A real life example of Presidential hesitation and indecision can be found in President Clinton’s surreal screw up in not killing Osama bin Laden when we had him dead to rights.

The story is told in Buzz Patterson’s eye opening book “Dereliction of Duty.” Patterson carried the nuclear football for nearly two years and also functioned as one of the President’s military aides at that time. He was in a unique position to judge not only the character but the performance of the man in a crisis.

The story of Clinton losing the pocket code book containing nuclear strike options would be unbelievable if not confirmed by a secret service agent. The book is worth reading just to understand that one episode of Clinton’s assault on the military. But there was more; how he and his refugees from the 1970’s aides made military personnel wear civilian clothing because they despised the armed services and how Clinton himself denigrated Patterson’s service are other astonishing insights into how the military declined precipitously during the Clinton years. And then there was the bin Laden incident.

Clinton was playing in a celebrity golf tournament when word came from the CIA that they believed they had bin Laden in the cross hairs of an armed UAV(Unmanned Aerial Vehicle). The drone was circling a training camp in Afghanistan and the CIA needed immediate authorization to launch the weapon to kill the perpetrator of the worst terrorist attack in American history. According to Patterson, Clinton froze. He continued his hobnobbing with celebrities, telling Patterson he would “get back to him” with an answer. When Patterson approached him again requesting that Clinton make a decision, the President angrily brushed him off. In the end, the opportunity went by the boards and bin Laden went on to bigger and more destructive things.

The point is simple; no one knows how a President will react until the crisis is upon them. A reasonable case can be made that the 9/11 attack that gut punched America also temporarily threw President Bush off his game. By the time he got back to Washington, Bush had recovered and subsequently performed spectacularly from then on. The lesson is that we must choose our Presidents carefully. Character does matter and will continue to do so as long as we’re at war with such implacable, murderous foes.

SUMMARY

More bad news for Jack as Audrey discovers his “interrogation” of Pardo involved a little bit of arm twisting (and knuckle breaking). Audrey is shocked, just shocked do you hear that Jack would disobey the President. In Audrey’s nice cozy perch inside the beltway, these things just aren’t done. Bill Buchanan attempts to set her straight:

BILL: In this case, I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission.

AUDREY: What kind of answer is that?

BILL: The answer is it worked. We got Marwan’s location. With all due respect Audrey this is not Washington, DC. Politics and policy do not always work on the frontlines which is where we are today.

AUDREY: Charles Logan is a politician and he’s not going to give you forgiveness. I hope this doesn’t come back to haunt you or Jack.

BILL: If what we did gets us to Marwan, we’ll live with it.

Spoken like a true warrior/bureaucrat. I like Bill immensely. He’s a stand-up guy which is what’s most important in a boss. He’ll take the heat when necessary and he cares about his staff.

When Logan finds out that Jack disobeyed his instruction not to harm Pardo, he suddenly finds some decisiveness and orders his arrest. The milquetoast is strong as hell when his own ego is involved. What a weasel!

Marwan’s crew in Iowa begins to configure the weapon’s trigger so they can fire it. To that end, they’ve enlisted one Sabeer Ardakani, an engineer with an inquisitive girlfriend. And we know what happens to inquisitive girlfriends, don’t we. Just ask Behruzz and his ex girlfriend Debbie. You remember Debbie. She’s the one poisoned by dearly departed Dina and who now lies in a shallow grave in the hills above LA.

Jack and Curtis prepare to move in on the nightclub where Marwan is hiding out. Marwan is in the process of making the tape that will be broadcast after the bomb has gone off. It’s standard terrorist boilerplate but begs the question; why make the damn thing now? Why take the chance of it falling into CTU hands and giving your enemy the chance to stop you? Why not make the damn tape after the bomb goes off?

The answer to these questions is pure ego. The ecstatic look on Marwan’s face when he’s talking about the destructive power of the bomb finally reveals this pig to be an overweening egoist with delusions of grandeur. We got a taste of this when he was holding Jack in the warehouse and bragged to Jack that American leaders wouldn’t show their faces in public again after this day. The long and short of it is that he’s a nutball, a loon, a certified egomaniac with a god complex. This makes him an extremely dangerous man.

Just in the nick of time to save Marwan, the Secret Service shows up to arrest Jack. When Jack points out that he’s in the middle of a super secret operation and that he’s penetrated the terrorists hideout and lies in a concealed position, the secret service doesn’t care. Come out now or we’re coming in, the agent says. Of course, as Agent Castle makes his way across no man’s land to try and relieve Jack so he can be arrested, Marwan’s look-out spots him and the jig is up. Marwan escapes through the sewer system and, after offing the cameraman, Jack is left with the damning tape made by Marwan. The SS guys promptly arrest him, only to release him minutes later when President Jellyfish changes his mind.

In the meantime, Mike Novik (who appears to be playing a good guy this time around…so far) suggests that President Milquetoast call in someone with experience who can advise him. That someone turns out to be ex-President and insurance pitchman Palmer. Can’t wait for that first meeting between Palmer and Logan. Five bucks gets you ten that he slaps the weasel around to try and bring him out of it.

Sabeer’s suspicious girlfriend calls CTU with disturbing info about her boyfriend. Seems there’s more information on Ardakani’s computer but it’s encrypted. Now…who can we send to the girlfriend’s house to unlock the computer’s secrets? Who has the knowledge, the expertise, and the courage to go out into the field and help save our country from these implacably hostile terrorists? Who else but the analyst you love to hate, Chloe!

“I’m not a field agent” she tells Bill and don’t we know it. But she bravely soldiers on, calling fat geek Edgar to make sure everything is being done to insure her safety (heh). She nervously tells Edgar:

CHLOE: Why did they ask me to do this? I really hate it.

FGE: When you were prepping, I asked Bill if I could go instead of you. He wouldn’t let me. He said you were the best analyst we have. He’s right.

CHLOE: I know.

I KNOW! She’s a bitch…but she;s our bitch!

Before Chloe can get started though, she’s rudely interrupted by an assassin sent to take care of Ardakani’s talkative girlfriend. After a hair raising chase, Chloe ends up with a rifle at which point she makes like Sigourney Weaver confronting the mama Alien and kills the assassin dead.

Ten bucks gets you twenty she doesn’t shed a tear about the episode.

BODY COUNT

Jack pings the cameraman. The assassin offs two CTU agents (plus a nosy neighbor). And Chloe becomes an action figure doll.

Jack: 40

Show: 221

Chloe: 1 (just because she’d love the recognition).

SPECULATION

The target city for the bomb is still unknown. I’m a little less certain this week that it’s Chicago based on the fact that the terrorists are now too far away from the Windy City to make it before sun-up. And since Marwan wanted that tape delivered to TV stations before dawn, we have to assume the attack will take place sometime before then.

How about my old stomping grounds of Des Moines? A nuke going off in Des Moines (or Peoria) would make sense (to a terrorist) in that it would prove “no one was safe.” Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to be good enough. Stay tuned.

While some may have found last night’s episode lacking in action, excitement, and suspense, I though it one of the more interesting nights of “24″ to date. And that’s because of the exploration of the legality and justification for torture that occurred regarding the American merc Joe Prado.

Recall if you will those dark days in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. Those were frightening times indeed as we weren’ sure if the terrorists would strike again. At that point, there was a discussion on both the left and right regarding the efficacy of torture and when or if it would ever be justified. It was an interesting debate but not very relevant because at the time, it was theoretical. There were no cases where torture would be considered as a means of getting information.

Then the war in Afghanistan began and suddenly, we had hundreds of Al Qaida and Taliban fighters in our custody. At that point, the debate took on an entirely different tenor. It was at this point, that the Administration quietly began what has to be considered one of the most momentous internal discussions in the history of the Executive Branch. The debate went to the heart of what kind of country the United States is, how we viewed ourselves when we looked in the mirror.

It’s a shame that when the Justice Department memos came out that it was the middle of the campaign for the President. This precluded rational discussion of a vital issue. The President’s opponents tried to make the discussion of options regarding the treatment of prisoners into a “mindset” that allowed for the indefensible actions of jailers at Abu Gharaib. Any fair minded reading of those memos shows that not to be the case. Rather, the Executive Branch was dealing with a situation that no other nation in the history of civilization had ever even tried to address; how far should a nation go in defending itself.

Those memos make fascinating reading. Options are proposed, discussed, and in the end, discarded. What emerged from the internal debate was the belief that the prisoners would be treated in accordance with the Geneva convention but that the designation of “enemy combatants” would be used to allow for indefinite detention.

What caused me to revisit this issue was an exchange between Jack and the “Amnesty Global” lawyer David Weiss:

Weiss: All my client wants is due process.

Jack: Mr. Weiss, these people are not going to stop attacking us until millions and millions of Americans are dead. Now, I don’t want to bypass the Constitution, but these are extraordinary circumstances.

Weiss: The Constitution was born out of extraordinary circumstances, Mr. Bauer. This plays out by the book, not in the back room with a rubber hose.

Jack: I hope you can live with that.

Pretty good summation of the debate on both sides.

SUMMARY

Not much happened in this episode. Jack discovers exactly what information Marwan has regarding our nukes and its not good; locations and codes for a thousand or so nukes that for security reasons are always on the move. CTU and DoD are trying to get a handle on all of them but this will take time - time they don’t have because Marwan has already picked a target and has another cell on the way to intercept the in-transit warhead. The interception takes place on the Illinois-Iowa border which is about 50 miles from where I live. And since I live about 50 miles from Chicago, I think it’s safe to assume that the terrorist target is the Windy City. Later on, Marwan has a conversation with the hijackers where they inform him they are 92 miles from the target. That fits in with the distance from the border of the two states.

Meanwhile, CTU catches a break when a Marwan associate, one Yosik Katami slips up and uses the wrong credit card for gas. Realizing this, Katami calls Marwan who orders him to a marina to meet with Prado who will get him out of the country. Trying to stay one step ahead, Marwan makes a call and instructs the man on the other end of the phone to get a lawyer from “Amnesty Global” (Amnesty International?) to intercede on behalf of his associate to keep CTU from getting at what Katami knows. Who did Marwan call? We may never find out but a good guess would be one of the 3 or 4 Islamic “charities” that have been suspected to have members who support terrorist groups like Hamas and Islamic Jihad. Certainly most Islamic charities are exactly what they claim to be. But there are a few who have been set up to raise money for terrorist groups.

CTU tracks Katami’s car to the marina where the meet is taking place and where we finally get to see Curtis again. One of the more annoying habits of the writers is to build up a character for several episodes and then have them disappear for a month. Anyone remember who the Secretary of Defense is and what he’s doing? Ostensibly, he’s planning to institute martial law but we haven’t heard from him for weeks.

Curtis observes Katami and Prado as they enter the merc’s boat and has tactical move in. Before they can make the capture, Prado kills Katami and surrenders to CTU, claiming to be an innocent bystander whose boat was about to be hijacked. Prado is taken back to headquarters and Michelle orders Curtis to do what’s necessary to get information out of him. The intervention of the human rights lawyer kills that idea at which time Buchanan calls our brand new President for help.

President Jellyfish (Logan) has just had a revealing conversation with Novik:

Novik: (Referring to Marwan) It’s going to be difficult for him to leave Los Angeles.

Logan: It’s difficult to shoot down Air Force One with one of our own Stealth fighters but he managed to do that. Who knows what he’s planning? I’m sure he’s going to come after me next!

Novik: (With a look of disgust on his face) Mr. President, there’s no indication that’s his plan.

Logan: You don’t know that! I don’t know that! We don’t have enough information to know what his plan is!

Novik: Ed from the Secret Service is on his way over. He has a revised plan. I’m sure he can ease your concerns about your safety.

What a spineless sponge! Whatever bad thing that’s going to happen to him. he deserves.

When “Dugout Logan” refuses to let CTU put the screws to Pardo, Jack, thinking outside the box as usual, offers to resign so that CTU can release Pardo and he can get at the merc as a “private citizen.” Sure enough, Jack tasers the U.S. Marshall assigned to protect Pardo and, after applying a little “pressure” (to Pardo’s thumbs and fingers dislocating same) Pardo reveals a meet with Marwan later that night.

So here’s Jack, once again on the outside of the law chasing after a terror suspect and having to deal with not only the terrorist but American law enforcement as well. Talk about a loose cannon.

Yeah..but he’s our loose cannon.

BODY COUNT

Prado offs Katami. We learn that “at least” 75 people died when AF 1 crashed. Still no figures from the nuke accident.

Jack: 39

Show: 216

SPECULATION

What’s with fat geek Edgar? Is he going to go postal on us? It sure looks like it. When and if CTU gets another associate of Marwan, will Chloe be able to restrain Edgar’s rage? Will he take out Bill Buchanan? Will he take out Chloe?

Just goes to show, you can never tell with geeks. Underneath that mild mannered exterior is, well…a less mild mannered exterior? We’ll see.

It’s official. Marwan is being assisted by our very own Department of Defense.

We’ve speculated many times in the past weeks about the presence of so many Americans helping Marwan with his nefarious plans. It now appears certain that someone in DoD has been aiding and abetting Marwan and is using either DIA (Defense Intelligence Agency) personnel or hired mercs to assist the terrorist. Consider the following:

McGlennon-Forster Connection

The defense contractor hired Marwan. Tony mentioned that someone at the firm would have had to okay his security clearance. The someone was probably VP of Security Conlon who died at Jack’s hands in the sporting goods store after he shot Paul.

The Fake ID’s for Anderson

Anderson needed DoD help to penetrate our security to steal the Stealth. The false ID’s were made at Marwan’s headquarters.

Stealth Schematics and Flight Simulator

What? Do you think Anderson could have picked those up where he got his copy of “Grand Theft Auto?”

Transponder Frequency for Nuclear Football

This to me is what answers any lingering doubts about DoD involvement. Only someone very high up in the national security establishment would have access to that frequency. And Marwan had it.

Okay, so now the fun part begins. Who’s the traitor? Who would be connected to all those threads that point to DoD involvement?

Wild guess (and I do mean wild) centers on two people: Audrey Heller or her father the Secretary of Defense himself!

Yes they were both kidnapped. Secretary Heller even had a gun to his head when Jack rescued him. But did anyone check to see if that gun was loaded with anything but blanks? And Secretary Heller would be in a position to pull all of those threads above together plus his access to a large pool of current and/or former DIA agents and mercs.

As for Audrey, suspicion falls on her because of Paul’s peripheral involvement. And she would have access to all that information mentioned above. After all, who would suspect poor little Audrey? Maybe the writers loved their Nina surprise so much from season one they wanted a reprise.

Just a few thoughts to chew on as we head into the last 7 episodes.

SUMMARY

Air Force I’s forced landing in the desert is the least of our problems because as the plane decompressed after being “indirectly hit” by an air to air missile the nuclear “football” - a briefcase containing the codes to launch a nuclear strike - was sucked out and landed about 40 miles from the site where the President’s plane was forced down.

The idea that the football would be of value for anything after AF I crashed except the fact that it’s probably made out of fine Corinthian leather is ludicrous. Those codes don’t take “hours” to change as Audrey said later in the show. That would simply be unacceptable security wise. Although no one knows, my guess is those codes can be deleted and new ones substituted in a matter of minutes or perhaps even seconds. Any other scenario would be unthinkable given just such an eventuality as AF I going down.

I almost considered declaring that the show had “jumped the shark.” But, what the hell! It’s a TV show for God’s sake! Let’s suspend belief in reality and move on.

As teams move in to rescue any survivors at the crash site, Jack is ordered by Secretary Heller to head up the effort to retrieve the football. Before Jack can rush out to save the world, he’s got to confront Audrey over his failure to protect Paul. After Audrey muses that it’s her fault because she doubted Paul’s innocence, Jack reassures her:

Jack: You are not responsible for this. I and I alone made the decision on how to handle Paul. If you want to remain effective, if you want to be able to do your job, you have to let it go.

Audrey: Jack, that’s your gift. You’re able to black things out. I can’t do that.

Clearly, Jack’s in big trouble with Audrey. As she starts to weigh the pluses and minuses of her decision, there seem to be more and more minuses coming up where Jack is concerned.

Meanwhile, a couple of innocent civilians are about to be drawn into the vortex of crisis. Kelly and Jason Gerard are out in the middle of the desert camping where they discover the football amidst some wreckage of AF I. Like good citizens they contact their local police who immediately connect them to Jack. As they discover terrorists hot on the trail, Jack tells them to go hide in a reserve power station. Marwan, one step ahead of us as usual, knows exactly where to go and follows the Gerards to the power station.

Back at CTU, Bill Buchanan informs Tony that, although he’s very fond of Michelle, he never got to first base with her outside of work because she still cares for him. Will Tony try and patch things up with Michelle? Or will he wait until after they save the world together? Given that one of them is probably slated to die, it would make perfect sense to have them patch things up only to have one of them bite the dust.

And proving that old political operatives never die, they simply switch allegiances, former Chief of Staff to President Palmer Mike Novak (who engineered the cabinet vote that temporarily ousted the President last season) had occasion to put his skills to use getting the cabinet to invoke the 25th amendment again because of the President’s incapacity. This time, he’s an adviser to Vice President Logan, which begs the question; who would benefit most if the President was killed? The fact that Novak is on the VP’s staff brings immediate suspicion in that direction.

A short note on the oath the VP took. Since the 25th amendment has never been invoked, there’s no precedent for the VP taking another oath of office (he takes the same oath as the President at the Inauguration) for his “fill-in” role. And you may have noticed that the oath concluded without the customary “So help me God.” In fact, those words are not in the oath that’s written in the Constitution (Article II Section 1). However, Washington himself added the words when he took the first oath in 1789 and it’s been tradition ever since. I wonder if we should read any significance into the writers not including “So help me God” in this instance?

Back at the power station, Jason and Kelly try their best to elude Marwan and his thugs. Jack, pinned down outside the station by gunfire, advises Jason to split up with Kelly, each taking a component of the football. Great idea, bad execution. Jason gets caught and Marwan with cold efficiency shoots Jason first in the shoulder and then in the knee to try and get him to reveal where the control board is. Seeing her loved one suffer, Kelly appears and in sheer desperation, tries to bargain with Marwan by exchanging the board for her husband. Marwan smiles a little smile and points the gun at her husband’s head which ends Kelly’s doomed gambit right there.

Just in time (I wish I had a nickel for every time I wrote that about Jack in the last 17 weeks) Jack shows up and saves the Gerards who then pass out of the picture having performed bravely in the service of their country.

Resuming the chase for Marwan and the football, Jack calls on the helicopter to assist. The copter shines a light into the first jeep which goes off a bridge and crashes. Jack recovers the football only to discover that there are pages missing from the code book. Michelle informs him that the missing pages contain both launch codes and information on where the warheads are. And now the race is on to find Marwan before he can find a nuke and terrorize another American city.

Everything that’s happened to date - all the terrorists plans - may, in fact, have been geared toward this one supreme moment when Marwan gets control of a nuke. So many times in the last few hours either Tony or Jack have remarked that they’re just spread too thin to cover all the bases. The evacuation of people from the area of the nuclear plant has taxed the resources of our first responders so that the help CTU and DoD expect in a national crisis just isn’t there. And Marwan knows this which may mean that he engineered these attacks all to get his hands on the football.

BODY COUNT

We’re informed early in the episode that the fighter escort intercepted the Stealth being flown by Anderson and shot it down. Scratch Anderson. Another CTU back-up for Jack is killed. That makes 4 by my count so far. Wonder what the life expectancy is for being Jack’s back-up? Also Baldy, who we left unconscious at the offices where Marwan was directing the meltdowns finally gets it as Jack offs him before he can kill the Gerards. Jack takes care of him and 2 other terrorists:

Jack: 39

Show: 140

Unknown number of dead aboard Air Force I and we’re still waiting on a body count from last week’s attack on Marwan’s headquarters in the warehouse.

LOOSE END

Anyone else find it a little strange that Jack could get back to CTU headquarters so quickly after relaying the info about Anderson’s hard drive at the pilot’s apartment?

And who was that giving the oath of office to the Vice President? Traditionally, that job falls to the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. If that was the CJ, I would say it’s fantastic that we finally have an African-American Chief Justice! If not, it’s baloney. As an example, Rehnquist got up out of his sickbed to make it to Bush’s Inaugural. Unless the CJ was out of town, there’s no way anyone else would administer the oath.

You know we’re in trouble when Jack says “Oh my God” twice in one episode.

Not only Jack, but Chloe and Michelle also took the name of the Lord in vain. Let’s face it; they had good reason to.

SUMMARY

Jack arrives at the warehouse where he was being held that’s serving as Marwan’s headquarters. This time, he’s got two CTU tactical units with him, armed to the teeth and loaded for bear. But, of course, before he can save the country, Jack’s got to find out where he stands with Audrey:

Jack: Audrey, I know we have to talk about the way I handled Paul.

Audrey: Yeah…we do.

Indeed. And as I predicted last week, Paul is indeed paralyzed from the waist down. And it appears that Audrey has already made her decision, given her coldness toward Jack and the way she was when she was with Paul.

Actually, Paul is a lot like Jack…without the murderous, thuggish tendencies. He’s strong willed, determined, brave, and selfless. In short, Paul is Jack-lite. No wonder Audrey is going to stay with him.

Storming the warehouse, guns blazing, terrorists dropping like flies, Jack misses Marwan who slips out the back way and evades CTU’s perimeter. Before he goes, he blows up his computers to keep CTU from finding anything useful. What he can’t destroy is the counterfeiting materials he used to give Anderson the ID’s he needed to penetrate our Air Force’s security. When CTU discovers that Anderson is on the FBI watch list, Jack heads over to Anderson’s apartment to investigate.

Meanwhile back at CTU, a soap opera threatens to take over the show as Tony discovers that Michelle is playing “hide the Polska” with Bill Buchanan from Division. And with the nation on the verge of being plunged into a crisis of unimaginable proportions, Tony confronts her and asks her if she slept with him “while they were married.”

Question: Can’t this wait until after we save the world? Michelle thinks so and tells Tony to buzz off.

And that CD containing the flagged police report about the dead pilot’s family? It still lies undiscovered on fat geek Edgar’s desk, waiting to nail either Chloe or the geek with the blame for not finding out about Anderson before he took off. I still think Chloe should get the blame, but since she covered for the geek when he made a mistake in formatting an important update, fat geek Edgar will probably insist on taking responsibility. Chloe is such a bitch about being nice.

At Anderson’s apartment, the female merc who set up the real pilot to be murdered by Anderson, is desperately searching for a back-up hard drive that contains files that could compromise Marwan’s carefully laid plans. And when the female FBI agent shows up for a routine check on Anderson, she kills the Fed and assumes her identity when Jack and his back-up show up at Anderson’s apartment.

As Jack searches the apartment, his unsuspecting partner finds that portable hard drive of Andersons which leads to his immediate and rather gory demise. Jack, hearing a strange noise, goes into battle mode and kills the female merc. He plugs in the hard drive only to find the files locked.

No problem! Fat geek Edgar pulls some of his geeky magic and Presto! Jack accesses the drive to find schematics and a flight simulator program for the Stealth. Jack puts two and two together and confirms our speculation about Anderson’s target:

It is indeed Air Force I.

On the doomed plane, President Keeler has a heart to heart with his son Kevin, a fine, upstanding youth who, when asked by his father what he should say in his speech to the nation, says “the truth.” After filling him in on what the “truth” is, Kevin changes his mind and agrees to help his dad spin the situation, ostensibly so that people won’t be panicked.

Just once I’d like politicians to treat the American people as the intelligent, astute, and rational human beings we are rather than the sheep that they want us to be.

With time running out, Jack gets in contact with Anderson aboard the Stealth and tries to appeal to the better angels of his nature. For a moment - just a moment - it looks as if Jack may be getting through to the lad.

No such luck. In one of the most chilling and suspenseful moments in the history of the series, we see Anderson fire the missile. We see the missile tracking the target. We see CTU and Jack hanging on the edge of unbearable suspense. And then we see the President and his son embracing as the missile strikes the plane which erupts into flames.

Jack: Was Air Force One just hit? WAS AIR FORCE ONE JUST HIT?

Chloe: Escort pilots report Air Force One suffered an indirect hit by an air-to air missile. Pieces are falling to the ground over the desert.

BODY COUNT

Jack entered the terrorist warehouse like an avenging angel, taking out 8 terrorists, one with a knife. CTU Tacticals take out at least two additional targets. It’s impossible to say at this point exactly how many terrorists or CTU personnel were killed. It’s not uncommon to find out in a later episode the exact body count. The FBI agent never knew what hit her.

Jack: 36

Show: 135

LOOSE END

When told that Anderson was targeting his plane, the President seemed pretty confidant that his fighter escort could protect him…until Michelle had to remind him of the F-117’s ability to evade radar. I find it ludicrous that the President of the United States would be so ill-informed. If the writers wanted to remind us of the Stealth’s capabilities, they could have done a better job.