Right Wing Nut House

THE PRESIDENT AND HIS DOG SPOT. THE PRESIDENT IS THE ONE HOLDING THE LEASH

The President’s 15 year old Scottish Terrier “Spot” was arrested today and charged with aiding and abetting torture as well as other “crimes against humanity.” The human rights organization Amnesty International, that had threatened to arrest the President, the Secretary of Defense, and other current and former Administration officials if they traveled to foreign countries, urged the arrest of the canine saying “no one in the Administration is guiltless.”

William Schulz, President of A.I. in America applauded the action saying that “In a conspiracy like this, you have to start at the outer edges and work your way toward the middle. One slip and everyone feels safer.”

When told that his statement sounded like “Deep Throat’s” admonition to Bob Woodward in the movie All The President’s Men Schulz would only say “I am not Deep Throat. You must have the wrong fellow.”

Schulz added that “If we can’t get the big fish, we’ll go for the small fry. This dog is one of the President’s most loyal supporters. He was in the White House at the time these crimes were being planned and carried out. The fact that he didn’t speak up and protest these actions is just as bad as if he committed the acts himself.”

When asked if this action would lead to more donations and publicity for the human rights group, Schulz denied any connection. “I’m insulted that anyone would think such a thing. We are not trying to increase donations to our hotline at (800) 555-0011 nor are we seeking additional publicity or did we ask to appear on Lary King Live tonight at 9:00 pm eastern.”

A.I. President Irene Kahn applauded the action adding “Mr. Spot will now face the justice his master has so far escaped.” Kahn also pointed to the fact that dogs were routinely used to scare prisoners at Abu Ghraib and that the President’s pet “could act as a stand-in for dogs all over the world who deliberately bark, snarl, and drool in order to frighten innocent terrorists.”

Spot will be held at Prince George’s County Animal Shelter until his trial. No bail has been set and the dog had no comment to reporters assembled outside the shelter as he was led into the facility. Spot could be heard whimpering piteously as shelter personnel hustled him into the building.

The President had no comment however, a spokesman speaking on condition of anonymity, said he was taking the arrest well but that Mrs. Bush was considering military options to rescue the beloved pooch. “She’s ready to send in the Seals.” the source said.

In a totally unrelated development, the Internal Revenue Service announced it was looking into the tax exempt status of Amnesty International’s American chapter.

Michelle Malkin has a link to a Wall Street Journal piece by International Freedom Center President Richard J. Tofel in which he seeks to calm fears regarding the 9/11 memorial turning into an orgy of anti-Americanism:

Then there will be the Memorial Center, a museum devoted to the events of September 11 itself, with exhibit space roughly equal in size to that at the International Freedom Center. The Memorial Center will tell the stories of the day–of heroism and sacrifice, of rescue and service, of courage and resolution, of memory and loss. It is the Memorial Center that will contain the iconic artifacts of September 11.

That is necessary, but not sufficient.

Why not? Why isn’t a simple memorial to the memory of those who perished on that terrible day enough? What possible addition could one make to such a memorial that wouldn’t seek to horn in on the sacred homage we owe to the nearly 3,000 of our countrymen who lost their lives in what Norman Podhoretz has called the “opening salvo” of World War IV?

This, from Martin Palous, a founding member of the Czechoslovakian human rights group “Charter 77″ along with Vclav Havel:

“9/11 is a story of courage, hope, and freedom: the courage to make the decision to go into the buildings to save someone, the hope to start anew after disaster, the wish to base our society on free will in the context of a pluralistic public sphere. It was a moment of truth in the story of freedom, and it connects the United States with democratic revolutions around the world, which share this quality of believing in the possibility of new beginnings.” Out of the tragedy of September 11 came a renewed civic spirit, and the International Freedom Center will work to sustain that. This is work that can unite people of goodwill everywhere…”

Very poetic but hardly the point. Mr. Tofel quotes Palous and indicates he’s one of the “35 scholars of freedom” who are advisor’s to the IFC. Since one of the driving forces of the IFC is Tom Bernstein, head of Human Rights First, an anti-Bush, anti-American group that would love to turn the memorial into a paean to all of the sins, both real and imagined, in America’s history, one wonders how much of Mr. Palous’ “advice” is going to be taken and how much from Mr. Bernstein and his Moveon crew.

Then Mr. Tofel gets to the nub of the matter:

To be sure, the International Freedom Center will host debates and note points of view with which you–and I–will disagree. But that is the point, the proof of our society’s enduring self-confidence and humanity. Moreover, the International Freedom Center will rise above the politics of the moment. It will not exist to precisely define “freedom” or to tell people what to think, but to get them to think–and to act in the service of freedom as they see it. And it will always do so in a manner respectful of the victims of September 11.

Why do moonbats think that every statement made in praise of America or in America’s defense needs to be “balanced” with some opposing point of view while the statements of America’s enemies and detractors need to be left standing alone so that we can better understand why the murderous thugs we’re fighting oppose us?

It’s loony.

This has got to be nipped in the bud now. Go here and contact the people on this list. Let them know that 9/11 is sacred ground and should be perhaps the one place in the country reserved to honor America, not denigrate her.

UPDATE

Jacob Laskin at FrontPage has an extraordinary article outlining the controversey. A sample:

In remarks posted on the International Freedom Center’s website, (historian Eric) Foner explains that the memorial will require a “critical eye,” and stresses that, “There have been many points in our history where freedom has been restricted, and has gone backwards.” What relevance this has to a September 11 memorial is unclear, but it does suggest that leftists like Foner intend to use the memorial to project their view of American history as an unabated stretch of oppression and intolerance.

This is almost too unbelievable to be true. I wonder if people who donated to this project knew what they were giving money for?

I needn’t have asked:

Perhaps unsurprisingly, this message, coupled with the center’s less than diverse assemblage of advisors, has enticed the moneyed left to bankroll the center’s memorial. Sponsors include the Open Society Institute, the grant-making arm of leftist financier George Soros. Another sponsor is the left-wing Rockefeller Brothers Fund. The fund’s interest in the memorial is easily deciphered: its administrators have long maintained that the greatest threat to the post-911 world comes from the United States. As the fund’s Peace and Security Program has understatedly put it, “At the start of the 21st century and in the wake of September 11, 2001, there exists a pressing need to examine the content, style, and tone of U.S. global engagement and to ensure that they reflect an understanding of the reality and implications of increasing global interdependence.”

Open Society Institute is also funded by the Heinz Foundation. Maybe they’ll have a little space highlighting the 2004 election that was “stolen” from Senator Kerry?

And Kevin at Wizbang weighs in on Tofel’s damage control:

Unfortunately for us the thoughtful response amounts to little more than, “trust us.” There’s lots of quotations, but very little on specifics. Surely the vagueness with which he describes the IFC content is by design, as reactions to the revelations provided by Burlingame were nearly instantaneous and vociferous.

Lime Shurbert has more including a letter from a soldiers mother sent to Mr. Tofel. One word of advice to Mr. Tofel: Don’t get the mothers of soldiers mad at you.

With all the talk lately of closing the terrorist detention facility at Guantanamo, I had a scathingly brilliant idea.

Look…Jimmy Carter, Nancy Pelosi, Amnesty International, and a host of other moonbats are calling on President Bush to shut down Gitmo and, in Representative Pelosi’s words, “give us a clean slate with the muslim world.” I’ve got a better idea. Why not turn it into a high class resort? Instead of torture, we could be having the detainees given full body massages by a bevy of gorgeous masseuses. Instead of “waterboarding” we could offer the terrorists surfboard lessons. And instead of defiling the Koran, we could offer a full service Islamic library with wi-fi access to all those terrorist websites. Maybe we could even have a web designer on staff to spice up those sites and give ‘em a little pizzazz, a little “ooomph.”

Maybe we could make it so attractive a place that al Qaeda recruits would be clamoring to get in. Just think of the possibilities:

There are places that inspire the soul. Places where your every need is anticipated, and every mood finds fulfillment. Places like Gitmo by the Sea. For holidays, honeymoons or romantic getaways, or just taking a short break from Jihad, book a secluded retreat in one of Gitmo’s intimate cottages. Holy Warriors, suicide bombers, and other guests might prefer rooms in the lodge or a private villa, with fine dining close at hand. The lodge overlooks Guantanamo Bay and each villa and cottage, tucked away among the trees for privacy, has a water view. Gitmo is a wonderful setting for weddings or Cell meetings to plan that next special attack, or a deeply satisfying respite from the everyday world. Come, luxuriate, and satisfy your soul.

That may be overdoing it a bit, but hey! Those jihadists seem to be a pretty picky bunch. Besides, we’re trying to sell what amounts to a prison here for God’s sake. We have to take some liberties.

I’ll tell you this…If this doesn’t “give us a clean slate” with the Muslim world, I don’t know what will. Then again, I doubt if this will satisfy our domestic and international moonbats. They’ll probably complain that the rooms are too small or the food isn’t first class, or maybe that the temperature of the pool is too cold.

Why not? They probably do the same thing at the resorts they visit…

Superhawk surveyed the scene before him and scowled. The louvetrain, a vast plain stretching from Mount Saranik in the west to the River Faan in the east was filled with the massed armies of the Coalition. All had sworn to protect their patron, the Commissar of Politburo.

As he recalled the events of the last month and how his plans had been thwarted at every turn, the Barbarian King’s scowl became darker. His entire scheme to exact revenge on the blogstates for the insult done to him and his people and especially, the Commissar’s failure to recognize he and he alone as the one, true Lord of the Wingnut Hordes had come to naught.

He should have realized the gods were against him when he arrived at the River of Wisdom and prepared to attack that clown King Goldy. The King had played a royal joke on Superhawk for instead of finding a real, live army of fighting men, he found thousands of wax dummies, all bearing a remarkable resemblance to Martha Stewart. It turns out Goldy had fled with his entire army and while this allowed Superhawk to cross the river unmolested, it soured the mood of his barbarian hordes who thirsted for the blood of the civilized tribes of the Coalition.

He could almost hear King Goldy cackling with laughter as his entire army slipped away to fight another day.

Then his warriors moved into the mountains where the Barbarian King planned on destroying the Prince and the armies of Uncorrelatia. Alas, the Prince had let loose huge boulders that caused several devastating avalanches effectively blocking the passes through the mountains. Superhawk was forced to hurriedly backtrack and take the long, tortuous route to Politburo through the Marshes of Mindinik.

It was at this point that the Barbarian King began to doubt that the gods were on his side. Not only did the marshes cause him to lose many horses and men, but his hordes were plagued by hit and run attacks of King Rusty’s Jawa Raiders. Appearing and disappearing in the mist like so many wraiths, his weary army had all they could handle to fight the ghostly figures off.

The final disappointment came when his warriors at last made it through the marshes and emerged onto the louvetrain only to find not only the Prince and King Goldy blocking his way to Politburo, but his once beloved Attila and her Amazonians joining them. Evidently his bribe had failed to entice the former Barbarian Queen to abandon her erstwhile husband, King Rusty’s son, and slip quietly away.

So now here he was on a hill overlooking the plain, surveying the Coalition forces. He was outnumbered at least three to one. His squabbling hordes were becoming more and more restless. And there was word that the Great Lord of the Blog States, King Andy of the Duchy of Insti, was on his way with a powerful force intent on cutting off his retreat.

A commotion in the camp distracted him. As he turned, he saw the faithful Avtari approaching at a gallop, waving a piece of paper.

“M’Lord! M’Lord! It’s from the Commissar! He wishes a peace treaty!”

Avtari jumped from his horse and rushed excitedly to the side of his Lord.

“Speak.” Superhawk commanded. “A peace treaty you say?”

“Aye, M’Lord. It’s signed by all the Kings of all the Blogstates. They want an alliance.”

Superhawk’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “An alliance?” In the name of Tao why?”

Avtari smiled. “The Kossacs are coming.”

The Kossacs! The beast men from beyond the Moonbat Sea!

“Are you sure? Is this some kind of trick?”

“No M’Lord. The Coalition captured some Kossac outriders yesterday. I saw them with my own eyes. Before being boiled in Torg dung, they confessed that a mighty fleet set sail from Eschaton and will land in Blogland within a fortnight.”

Superhawk thought about that for a moment. Obviously, the beast men weren’t smart enough to come up with something so sophisticated as an attack across the Moonbat Sea. Besides, they had no knowledge of boat making. Their tiny brains knew only of chaos and darkness. King Atrios must be behind this attack on the Blogstates. And where King Atrios led, the Troll hordes from the Underground were never far behind. A wave of revulsion swept over the Barbarian King. No one deserved to be manhandled by the Trolls of the Underground.

“What of my claim, Avtari? Will the Blogstates recognize me as the one true Lord of the Wingnuts?”

“Yes, M’Lord. The Commissar has agreed. There is to be a banquet in the Hall of Revolutionary Heroes tonight. You are to be an honored guest.”

Better brush up on my table manners, thought Superhawk.

And so that night, in the mighty hall named for long dead but not much lamented heroes, Superhawk joined the company of Coalition kings as an equal. Well…almost an equal. For while the food was good and the fellowship was hearty, there was a certain reserve between the leaders of the Coalition and the Wingnuts. A reminder perhaps that after facing the common threat, their “alliance” could very well dissolve and they would once again be mortal enemies.

Superhawk smiled a grim little smile at the thought. He would bide his time. And there would come a day when the Coalition would once again tremble at the sound of 10,000 horses thundering across the louvetrain, his hordes in full-throated howls as his half naked warriors lusted for blood, rapine, and slaughter. And they would once again strike terror into the civilized tribes of Blogland.

“A victory for Bernie Sanders is a win for Democrats.”

“I think Tom DeLay ought to go back to Houston, where he can serve his jail sentence down there.”

Mr. Dean last month did an impression of Mr. Limbaugh for a gathering of Democrats in Minnesota that included the sound of someone snorting cocaine. Mr. Limbaugh became addicted to the painkiller OxyContin while dealing with years of chronic back pain, but entered a rehabilitation center last year and says he is now drug-free.

“I think our values are more consistent with Montana values than Republican values are.”

While discussing the hardship of working all day and then standing in line for eight hours to vote, Dean had said, “Well, Republicans, I guess, can do that because a lot of them have never made an honest living in their lives.”

“I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for.”

“You think the Republican National Committee could get this many people of color in a single room? Only if they had the hotel staff in here.”

Republicans “are mean. They are not nice people.”

Anklebiting Pundits, who first recommended Dean for Chairman of the DNC on November 10, 2004, believes him a “gift from God.”

Powerline calls him the “Gift that Keeps on Giving.”

One would think that a few more months of Howard Dean’s Traveling Train Wreck and some Democrats will start calling him a Karl Rove plant. Not that Democrats have a corner on stupidity. The Republicans have had bad chairmen in the past. Every time I saw Haley Barbour on national T.V. I wanted to turn the channel. All that was missing from his mug was the big cigar sticking out between clenched teeth so much he reminded me of the quintessential pol.

Thankfully, the Republicans wised up and have had two chairmen in a row who can win elections and raise money - a success by any yardstick. One of them, former chairman Ed Gillespie has been amused of late with Mr. Dean’s rants saying “Watching a Howard Dean speech is a little like people who go to a NASCAR race to see a crash.”

Except NASCAR racing is much more colorful and the cars are smarter than Dean is.

And current chairman Ken Mehlman has been much to busy stealing Democratic lawmakers and voters right from under the nose that Dean looks down Republicans at to pay much attention to his counterpart’s foibles. That said, I imagine ole’ Ken is chuckling quite a bit lately.

But the question I had and a question I’m sure others not closely connected with the (alternate) Reality Based Community has is what does the party think of its ranting moonbat chairman?

Dean wowed the faithful in ‘04 with his Web-based fund-raising magic. But major business donors still count, and in his new role as party honcho, the feisty doctor seems to be struggling to connect. After achieving money parity with the GOP in 2004, Democrats have fallen far behind. According to the Federal Election Commission, the DNC raised $14.1 million in the first quarter of 2005, vs. the Republican National Committee’s $32.3 million. Dean drew about 20,000 new donors, while his rivals picked up 68,200. The bottom line: Republicans have $26.2 million in the bank vs. $7.2 million for the Dems.

Recent evidence of big-donor discomfort: A DNC event scheduled for May 25 at Manhattan’s cavernous Jacob K. Javits Convention Center was scaled back to a smaller venue at the Essex House hotel. Bridget Siegel, the DNC’s New York finance chair, says the event was moved because the new room “just worked better.”

So it appears Dr. D’s act wears pretty thin when it comes to Democratic party moneybags who usually contribute to the party. This doesn’t stop gazillionares like Soros et. al. from filling the coffers of Moveon and Americans Coming Together (ACT). In fact, they, along with the rest of the base believes Howie is just the man to lead the Democrats to victory.

Witness the response at Moonbat Central, the Democratic Underground, to their beloved Chairman’s most recent remarks about Republicans being “pretty much a white, Christian party.”:

For me, when I hear the reference that Chairman Dean has made about the republican image it’s the KKK I see. D ; )

Yep. Kross-burning KKKristians. Same rhetoric, slightly different clothing.

Good for him! I’d just add, the GOP is the party of cold, inhuman corporations who know how to exploit White Xtians and WX wannabe’s.

I love Howard - and these remarks. Go Howard!

Dean speaks the truth. It’s time the public hears it, even if it is painful.

Screw this “attracting moderates” bullshit already, he is speaking the truth even though it hurts.

But that’s not true- many of them are closeted homosexuals

And so on…

You don’t have to be Mr. Wizard to predict that if Howie the Hero can’t keep his mouth from running too far away from reality the Republicans are going to have a field day highlighting these little bon mots not to mention burying the Democrats when it comes to raising money.

Poor, clueless, and embarrassed. Doesn’t sound like an election winning strategy to me.

UPDATE

Jeff Goldstein is a very funny fellow:

Asked to comment on Dean’s characterization of Republicans as a white Christian monolith, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) expressed disappointment with the former Vermont Governor: “He says that like being white and Christian is a bad thing,” the Senator told a small gathering of reporters. Byrd was then quickly ushered away by several aides after he pressed a quarter into the palm of freshman Senator Barack Obama and demanded the Illinois Democrat “be a good boy and go fetch Mister Bobby a nice cold sodee-pop.”

Here are some excellent articles and analysis on a variety of subjects that you may have missed over the last couple of days.

Media on Media:

Brent Bozell talks about the Howard Dean media blackout. Seems our friends in the MSM are doing the Democrats a favor by not reporting on the Screaming Doctor’s more outrageous remarks. And Accuracy in Media (AIM) reports on some issues still left to be resolved with Deep Throat and Mark Felt. A lot of people are noticing that what information Felt had access to at the time and what Wood/Stien reported as coming from Deep Throat doesn’t quite jibe. Was Deep Throat a composite character for one or more other sources in the FBI and executive branch? No one that I’ve seen has tried to pin Bradlee, Woodward, or Bernstien down on that topic.

Time will tell as to whether or not there will be further revelations about Deep Throat. Watch the obituary pages carefully.

Lord Haw-Haw

Here’s the al Jazeera interview with British moonbat MP and Saddam apologist George Galloway courtesy of the Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI). Caution: Will make your blood boil.

Dissident Watch

American Enterprise Institute has a piece on Syrian dissident Aktham Naisse. Inspiring read.

He wrote the Book on Gulags

The Times Online has an interview with Alexander Solzhenitsyn, his first since 2002. At first a liberal hero, Solzhenitsyn fell out of favor with the left when he came out and condemned the west’s passivity in the face of communist brutality. Read what he has to say about a real gulag. (HT: The American Thinker)

When Rimbaud meets Rambo

Is new the new French Prime Minister just a sensitive, misunderstood poet? Or just another anti-American hysteric? (Both, I say.) Via Watching America.

Coyote Ugly

Are coyote’s becoming more aggressive? In my neck of the woods, northern Illinois, they’re beginning to lose their fear of people and are becoming a danger. So far, only dogs and the occasional cat are their victims. But its only a matter of time before a human is injured or killed by these beautiful beasts. Via National Geographic.

The Religion of Peace

Timothy Furnish asks on the pages of History News Network “Does Islam Condone Beheadings?”

Space Defense

Peter Brooks of the Heritage Foundation talks about the militarization of space. Sad, but inevitable. The advantages for the US are just too big to pass up.

Red Stars Rising

FrontPage Mag has a review of a book by Ronald and Allis Radosh on the Hollywood left called Red Star Over Hollywood.

Proving the adage “Nothing is Sacred Anymore” Michelle Malkin links to a piece in the Wall Street Journal from Debra Burlingame, sister of Charles “Chic” Burlingame III, pilot of American Airlines fight 77, which terrorists crashed into the Pentagon on September 11, 2001, that should open some eyes about who and what is currently in charge of the memorial to the fallen planned for Ground Zero.

Take a couple of deep breaths before you read this…you’re gonna need them:

More disturbing, the Lower Manhattan Development Corp. is handing over millions of federal dollars and the keys to that building to some of the very same people who consider the post-9/11 provisions of the Patriot Act more dangerous than the terrorists that they were enacted to apprehend — people whose inflammatory claims of a deliberate torture policy at Guantanamo Bay are undermining this country’s efforts to foster freedom elsewhere in the world.

The driving force behind the IFC is Tom Bernstein, the dynamic co-founder of the Chelsea Piers Sports and Entertainment Complex who made a fortune financing Hollywood movies. But his capital ventures appear to have funded his true calling, the pro bono work he has done his entire adult life — as an activist lawyer in the human rights movement. He has been a proud member of Human Rights First since it was founded — as the Lawyers Committee for Human Rights — 27 years ago, and has served as its president for the last 12.

The public has a right to know that it was Mr. Bernstein’s organization, joined by the American Civil Liberties Union, that filed a lawsuit three months ago against Donald Rumsfeld on behalf of detainees in Iraq and Afghanistan. It was Human Rights First that filed an amicus brief on behalf of alleged “dirty bomber” Jose Padilla, an American citizen who the Justice Department believes is an al Qaeda recruit. It was Human Rights First that has called for a 9/11-style commission to investigate the alleged torture of detainees, complete with budget authority, subpoena power and the ability to demand that witnesses testify under oath.

Malkin refers to this as a “sacrilege” which Websters defines as “gross irreverence toward a hallowed person, place, or thing.” I don’t know about you but I’d say that was spot on.

It’s times like these that words absolutely fail me. The fact that this has been allowed to happen in the first place only proves that like rambunctious two year olds, you have to watch the moonbats every minute lest they touch something they shouldn’t.

Since they’re not my two year old, maybe we could leave the cabinet that has all the household cleaners in it invitingly open with the caps conveniently taken off.

Who knows…maybe they’ll get thirsty….

“Who is this Commissar!” Superhawk roared. “I will feed his tongue to the parthaks!”

Avtari, being inured to his Master’s temper answered quietly.

“He leads the Coalition, M’Lord.” Avtari shifted nervously and lowered his voice. “He is the King of Politburo.”

Superhawk stiffened and appeared ready to explode. Instead, he allowed a grim smile to play about his lips, like a roarnok about to pounce on its prey.

“And so, the Wheel of Time has come full circle and the murderer of the Judges once again insults the Knutehousens.” Superhawk querried Avtari.

“And this map. You say he has refused to recognize the Knutehousens as leaders of the Wingnut Hordes?”

“Correct, M’Lord.” said Avtari. “And he has gathered a mighty Coalition to protect himself. He is aligned with the powerful Duchy of Insty and has made common defense with other powerful blogstates. He is guarded in the south by King Joe of Gandleman Land and by King Moonbat of ISOU Land to the north.”

Superhawk pondered that for a moment. He was not worried about King Joe. His hordes had exacted tribute from “The Moderate One” in the past. Perhaps it was time to break the treaty and teach the King a lesson he would not soon forget. Besides, he could always take the King’s daughter as hostage…or as a bride.

And King Moonbat? Unpredictable, but I will crush him anyway, Superhawk said to himself.

“What of the Highlands? Who guards the approaches to Politburo?”

Avtari referred to the map. “King Goldy of Proteinsk has an army straddling the river.”

Superhawk roared with laughter. “That clown? I shall raze his castle and feed his children to my warriors. Who else?”

Avtari pored over the map. “Uncorrelatia guards the passes through the mountains.”

Superhawk chuckled. “Methinks the Prince is lonesome. I shall pay him a visit.” The Barbarian King gave his advisor a sharp glance. “Who guards the louvetrain? The direct approach to Politburo?

Avtari blanched when he glanced down at the map. “Attila.” he whispered.

Superhawk contemplated that bit of news for a moment. The former barbarian queen and her horde of Amazonian warriors were a formidable opponent. But ever since her marriage to the son of King Rusty of Jawa Land the Amazonians had forsworn war and taken up farming. Superhawk also remembered Attila’s tender caresses, the warmth of her kisses, the softeness of her…

The Barbarian King sighed. It woudn’t have worked. Both of them wanted to lead. Neither could yeild. Their parting was for the best. Perhaps he could buy her off with chocolates? It had worked in the past. Or some shiny trinket? That’s it!

“Avtari, send a rider and have him fetch the Jewel of Mathwrate. Instruct him to present it to Queen Attila with my compliments and these words; ‘You are my one. I am yours. When next Siddira opens her arms, I will be with you again.”

“But M’Lord, the moon will be full in less than a fortnight. How can…” Superhawk cut him off.

“Leave that to me. Unless I am mistaken, the Queen will take our bribe and slip quietly away. And without her, the Amazonians will not fight.”

“Brilliant, my Master! And that will leave Politburo wide open to attack. But what of King Andy of the Duchy of Insty? He is the most powerful lord in all the blogsates?”

Superhawk grinned. “I will negotiate.”

Avtari shuddered. He remembered the last time his master “negotiated.” He remembered how the 10 Barons of the Yeltz had come to make peace. He remembered the banquet Superhawk had given in their honor. And he remembered their screams as they were hacked to pieces by the Somzkrain, his Master’s personal assassins.

Superhawk drew himself up to his full height and unsheathed his sword. Slicing his hand, he let his blood drip on the Commissar’s map. This insult could not go unpunished. He would make an example of this son of a cutis for all the blogstates to see. He was King. He was the leader of all the Wingnut Hordes. And he will be recognized as Lord of the Wingnuts from the Isles of Buzz to the Bloggedy Sea. “I swear by the blood of my fathers that this insult will be avenged!”

“Assemble the tribes.” Superhawk roared. “Recall the Bowmen of Coulter. Gather the Spearchuckers of Hannity. Muster the legions of Rush. Convene the Council of Trent. We go to war!”

Avtari hurried away to do his master’s bidding. Within minutes, the huge camp was bustling with activity and excitement. War! The chance for booty, for women, for glory. They would ride long and hard. They would swim through oceans of blood. And leading them, as always, their Lord and Master whose towering strength and surpassing courage would bring them victory. Of this, the peoples of Wingnut Land were assured.

War! And before it was over, the gods themselves would cower in fear as the peoples of Blogland, one by one, would feel the wrath of the merciless Barbarian King.

I am Superhawk. I am a mighty hunter. I make war. I kill small things and grin. I kill curvy things and howl.

We are descendants of the mighty Knutehousens, the very first raiders in this land. Our swords are sharp. They can cleave a man from cheek to groin. Our bows are long. Our arrows run true.

We are invincible.

We are coming. Even now, we watch the same sunset. We hear the same wolf howl at Siddira, the moon goddess. We are coming for your women. We are coming for your children. We will breed with your women. We will eat your children.

We are a simple people. We do not need much. We believe the best things are to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Let the word go forth. Let it be heard in all the towns and villages of the Coalition. Let all the blogstates be warned. Let the bells toll. Let your priests pray to your silly gods. Prepare your women. Prepare your children.

Superhawk and his people are coming.

Look to the sun. When the sun turns red and the great god Glennant closes his eyes to sleep, we will be among you. There is nothing you can do. There is no magic you have that can defeat us. You are ours.

And so…it begins.

This article originally appears in The American Thinker.

They’ve had the stuffing bombed out of them in Afghanistan. They’ve had their financial resources revealed and weeded out, their money men arrested and thrown in jail, their supporters and enablers cowed by a law enforcement effort involving upward of 80 countries and thousands of investigators. Their leaders are cowering in fear for their lives in caves and holes in the ground. And in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Kuwait, Yemen, Indonesia, the Philippines, Iraq, and all across the continent of Europe their soldiers are systematically being hunted down and killed or captured.

And yet…

And yet al Qaeda may be winning this war. Here on this beautiful late spring morning in the Midwest with the promise of summer right around the corner, our enemies have much to celebrate. For the debate in the United States may no longer be what to do about this group of fanatical, murderous thugs who ruthlessly and heartlessly attacked our homeland on September 11, 2001. The debate could revolve around the question of how we can have a “return to normalcy,” a question reflective of a yearning to turn back the clock to a time when we didn’t have dead serious debates about whether or not the accidental splash of urine on a Koran translates as “abuse” or which interrogation methods truly constitute torture.

Our national conversation about the War on Terror is proceeding in a manner very much as our enemies wish. They have seized the psychological initiative by playing our national news organs like a Stradivarius. Admittedly, the military has helped al Qaeda out enormously not only by the occasional breakdown in discipline which has led to isolated but significant incidents of torture, , but by the natural tendency of the military command authorities to not give the enemy a propaganda weapon to use against us. This has resulted in the appearance of cover-up, if not in the intent then certainly in the result of torture allegations.

At bottom, the brouhaha about prisoner abuse, Koran flushing, puppet governments, Bush- lied-and-people-died-no-blood-for-oil-U.S.-out-of-Iraq battle cries reveals a desperate desire on the part of many Americans - perhaps a majority - to wish away the harsh realities that the war in Iraq is exposing and the monumental effort it will take to win this conflict and defeat the forces of ignorance, intolerance, and terror.

President Warren G. Harding used the phrase “return to normalcy” to describe a state of mind that existed in the United States prior to our entry in World War I. There was a reaction to America sullying her hands by taking part in what at the time was seen as part of the endless cycle of European self-immolative conflagrations that flared up every hundred years or so. Harding thought it was high time America returned to a pre-war state of mind where, as his successor, Calvin Coolidge so aptly put it “the chief business of the American people is business” and the only foreign entanglements worthy of our interest was trying to keep Latin America subservient and docile.

Harding and Coolidge succeeded in making America forget its involvement in that war. The League of Nations, President Wilson’s flawed yet valiant attempt to integrate America into the world community was roundly defeated because in their heart of hearts, Americans believed themselves too pure, too righteous to become involved in world affairs. We did emerge briefly from our self-imposed slumber to propose and sign the Kellogg-Briand Pact that idealistically renounced the use of force in solving all international disputes. But that was perfectly in keeping with our belief that the forces of evil could be kept at bay simply by the lucky accident of geography. Separated as we are from the rest of the world by two vast oceans, we believed that the forces of darkness gathering strength during the 1920’s were of no concern to us simply because they couldn’t possibly threaten our well being.

Today the forces of darkness can’t be kept at bay by geography. They can’t be stopped by wishful thinking. They must be confronted, attacked, pursued, captured, and killed. There simply is no other way.

And yet…

And yet the opponents of this war - most of whom are good Americans who love their country as much as any of us- are playing directly into al Qaeda ’s hands. Unable to defeat us on the battlefield, unwilling to confront us directly, al Qaeda is using its battlefield defeats - the capture and detention of its soldiers - to turn our successes upside down and put the United States government on the defensive. And the opponents of the war, seizing upon this sidebar issue with a fervor reminiscent of a revivalist reverend preaching hellfire and damnation, are unwittingly following the game plan of our enemies by excoriating the Bush Administration for its alleged failure to uphold American values.

The anti-war crowd is using traditional grips and handholds in the political mud wrestling going on over the war. This begs the question. Who do they think the enemy is; Bush or al Qaeda? For that matter, when was the last time you heard or read anyone from the anti-war left actually using the pejorative “enemy” to describe our opponent?

In effect, much like their Democratic Party forbearer’s who took Abraham Lincoln to task for a variety of issues not directly related to the Civil War including the suspension of Habeas Corpus and questions about what constitutes free speech in wartime, Bush’s political opponents rarely, if ever, mention the reason we fight. Instead, their constant carping about prisoner abuse seems to be having its desired effect; the American people are losing confidence in the President to bring the war in Iraq to a successful conclusion and are becoming more anxious about our War on Terror in general.

Anyone who doesn’t believe that this is part of our enemies strategic thinking has another thing coming. Despite Michael Moore’s portrayal of Bin Laden and his cohorts as ignorant savages living in caves, many of the top leadership in al Qaeda are college educated - many of them matriculated at some of the finest colleges and universities in the west - and are keen students of both the western media and western attitudes. A translated copy of the al Qaeda Training Manual reveals a deep understanding of not only what makes the American people tick, but how to roil the streets of the Islamic world and bring the masses to their side.

All of this points to the first significant test for American resolve in the War on Terror in 2008. While the election last year could have been considered a referendum on the Iraq conflict and hence of surpassing significance for that reason alone, it’s devoutly hoped that by 2008 the mass of troops currently stationed in that country will be redeployed and American casualties will have virtually ceased. If that’s the case (and I believe the Administration will make it so whether completely warranted or not) then the Democratic candidate will have an interesting decision to make about an overarching theme for the campaign.

Will a “return to normalcy” theme - one that seeks to fulfill John Kerry’s dream of a return to a 9/10 world - be so attractive to the American people that it brings the Democrats the White House in 2008? It’s a seductive approach, one with very little political downside and could resonate with swing voters. But what consequences will flow from a decision to stop doing the things necessary to successfully prosecute the War on Terror and take the battle to where our enemies live rather than fight the war on terms of the enemy’s choosing?

The sad fact is, the constant drumbeat about prisoner abuse has lowered the morale of the American people and made them question not only the tactics, but fundamental tenets about the necessity for the war on terror. And since the next attack on our homeland will not be blamed on terrorists per se but rather on the personal leadership of the President, the anti-war crowd will be able to use any such assault as a political weapon to attack the way we are currently fighting this war and turn the country’s gaze away from fighting terrorists elsewhere to battening down the hatches at home and withdrawing from the fight. In a supremely ironic twist to Harding’s reasons for a “return to normalcy,” they will make the case that America is, in effect, too evil to lead this fight and is better off letting the wiser, more virtuous heads in Europe and the United Nations take the lead.

The enemy knows the only way to win the war in Iraq and elsewhere is if we voluntarily withdraw. In short, if we abjectly surrender. And in a conflict where many of us believe we fight for our existence, this is simply unacceptable.

But the siren song of “normalcy” may prove too tempting to resist. Unlike Odysseus’ sailors, no amount of wax we stuff in our ears will be able to muffle the alluring sound of the birds singing sweetly on a glorious September day in 2001 - September 10th, that is.